A late scramble...

Perhaps a few days late, I have tried to find something to do tomorrow night, as I blogged earlier. MF has just messaged to my Facebook message chain that she's in England. I was kinda hoping she'd be out at home this year cos I know RB is home and, well, New Year's Eve in a bar with RB (and others) was bound to be eventful, if nothing else.

However, still nothing from my enquiries... it seems everyone's made their own plans this year, so I'm kinda stuck unless a few people have a last minute change of heart or at least invite me along.

Bleh.

Right now, I should be having lunch either with DSC or AM and QC1. I know (and understand) why the DSC thing fell through, but I'm still waiting for AM to tell me where we're meant to be meeting this afternoon. Given that she originally only gave me about 36 hours notice during the usually busy Xmas period, it's understandable that I couldn't originally commit, but when I asked her to keep me informed so that I would turn up if I could, I had expected to have a message this morning.

QC1's and AM's contact is horrendous. I gave up long ago the idea that I should chase them up when they made half-assed arrangements like this. I used to consider them to be really close friends, people I could talk to, but I need people to be more reliable.

I'm also trying to figure out what to do tomorrow night. There were at least three potential parties in the planning and one of them has fallen through due to something that's happened with KfW2, but there were two others that I had high hopes for, but have heard nothing so far. I've already said that I really like NYE. It's always been the best night of the holiday season for me and I love spending it with family and friends, but that's looking unlikely this year so I have about 24 hours to see what's happening and scrounge myself an invite.

A blast from the past

While vegging out in front of the TV, I've managed to catch ten minutes of the old "The Lost World" programme. B-grade but enjoyable nonsense.

Jennifer O'Dell was stunning and sexy. In fact, having a look at Google, it appears she still is (more so, if possible).

Funkadelic Christmas

I'm in another funk. This isn't a surprise, as I tend to get a bit melancholic this time of year, especially when I'm single. I hate being single at Christmas as I've explained to USHW loads of times over the years, but it's worse this year than I remember it being recently. I've tried to get DSC out for a drink, but she's playing hard to get (she does have commitments such as family and a [useless] boyfriend), but it seems like ages since I last saw her and I know that she wasn't 100% happy on Christmas Day either, so perhaps a good whinging session over a drink might help us both out? At the very least, a few drinks in the pub having a good perv at the totty would help!

Just before Xmas, I was out with M and MM and it was mentioned (yet again) that I was single, but when MM mentioned potential dates, MMBF wasn't mentioned and others were. Am I reading too much into this? MMBF is still very cute and sexy, but I'd like to sit down and talk to her, rather than the drunken rambling that we normally indulge in. I might have to seriously start following up on this one rather than doing what I usually do and make a few slight hints and then leave everything to fall into place (which it invariable doesn't, obviously).

DSC continues to be vocal about why I'm not attached. She reckons I'm charismatic and funny and am able to generate chemistry. These things, without wanting to sound arrogant, can be true, if I'm in the mood. I have tonnes of chemistry with loads of people - F, KfW2, CH amongst others. And two of CH's friends have also been sucked in with may charm and cheek when on nights out.

Talking to women isn't the issue, it's finding one that I like. The last woman I was seriously attracted to was RB and that was too long ago - long enough that I am actually concerned that I haven't felt that spark with anyone else since.

Another part of the funk is that KfW2 was asking if I would host a party for New Year's Eve. Unlike a lot of people, I really do like NYE. I like the whole thing about drawing a line under one year and looking forward to the next and I like doing this with friends. This year, MfW has really fucked this up. His relationship with two mutual friends of ours has pretty much soured beyond reconciliation and with respect to at least one of the parties, this is all his fault. But as he is now a housemate, I can't simply have parties and invite whomever I want without at least considering him, and I know he's likely to either cause a scene or leave the flat (for the night). So, with this funk going on, I'm potentially looking at a NYE spent in the house on my own, and I hate that - I like socialising on NYE.

Socially speaking

Out with M on Friday night, but MM and MMBF weren't in attendance, sadly. They were off on their own girly night out. It was a good night out - it always is with M, but I want to see if there's anything going with MMBF. God knows that the past few times we've met, M's been bigging her up. I don't know if this is part of any match-making that might be going on, or if he's simply stating facts about MMBF.

After a few rain checks, I'm also meant to be seeing FP tonight for a few drinks. We've not had a proper chat in ages, so I do kinds hope we do meet up.

This week, I'm also going out on the lash with KfW2, one of her friends from work and her boyfriend. It should be good fun - she's good company. I've met her boyfriend a few times, albeit briefly, and he seems like a good lad.

And, just another little note I shall drop in here - I'm getting busy again at work, which is good. When I first started this new position, nearly 18 months ago, I was hoping that after two years, I could consider moving elsewhere and take the large pay rise that would go with it, but my own advancement has been a lot slower than I would have liked, so I still have a lot to learn.

Also, I've been procrastinating about getting a routine going at the gym. I really need to start losing weight. Fitness is a factor too, but in all honesty, the weight is an issue to me. I need to get up off my ass and start doing something.

Meh 2... Meh Harder.

My funk from yesterday has continued today. This is unusual. In the past when I've had off days with regards my relationship status, it's been a little niggle at the back of my mind, but this current on, so far, is occupying a great deal of my though over these past two days.

I'll be honest, yesterday, I thought I was starting to look at KfW2 less than platonic way and that concerned me, because KfW2 is a friend (and I mean that properly, not just as "someone I know") but I don't think that's the issue now. I will say that KfW2 has a lot of characteristics that I look for in someone, but there's also that I think I saw KfW2 with her boyfriend on Saturday night and that stirred something. It was nice to see a relationship just work, especially after listening to DSC and her own train wreck of a relationship pretty much constantly for the past 18 months and I think that prompted me to want that myself... especially with someone as cool and attractive as KfW2.

Meh.

A while ago, KfW2 said that she was meeting a friend of hers, but he wasn't going to be available until late. I then suggested that between her arriving in the city until her friend arriving, I'd meet her for a drink and keep her company.

Ultimately, I ended up staying out all night even though I'd planned on leaving when her friend showed and I had an excellent night out.

Today, though, I'm feeling very "meh" mainly about my relationship status. I don't know what prompted it, but I've not been my usual self today and this is  what's been at the back of my mind all day. Meh.

Patience is a virtue.

Yes, yes... I am writing about FA2, but it's taking ages. It's not a short story. I'm considering scrapping the whole thing and using bullet points instead. Bullet points are ace.

I am getting lazy.

I know, I know, another digest of sorts. I was (and am) planning on doing an in-depth blog on each of the following topics, but I just wanted to mention them here in the meantime:

• FA2 got married a few days ago. I don't know if I ever explained fully what happened between us, but she's the first (serious) ex I've heard of to tie the knot.
• Since my last blog post, I've been dreaming a lot about RB, but for what reason, I've no idea.
• Despite doing a job that I like and have wanted to do for a long time, I keep going through periods of seriously looking at something else.
• I look upon JB as my little sister, but everytime I've gotten drunk over the past few months, I just want to fuck her.
• I want to go travelling again.
• I was out with M a few weeks ago and MMBF was mentioned. I said in no uncertain terms that she was lovely. Whether that gets back to her remains to be seen, but we've tentatively made arrangements to meet within a few weeks.
• I am seriously considering the housemate options at the moment.

Forgotten totty.

A blast from the past... a friend and I were talking about forgotten totty from yesteryear and this was my contribution: Gemma Atkinson. I've never watched any of the TV programmes that she was in, but there's no denying she's a sexy, attractive woman.

Dreams.

I had a weird dream last night. I woke up around 3AM to the sound of what appeared to be the couple above fucking the brains out of each other - this bit isn't part of the dream, but I imagine it's what prompted it. I rolled over and went to sleep and sometime between then and waking up again at 8AM, I had a dream where I was dating RB. I can't remember the specifics, but we were on holiday somewhere and instead of sharing a room with her, I was sharing a room with DSC. RB was sharing a room with another, unidentified woman. Also popping into the dream were a bloke from work (who's one of the most miserable, negative people you will ever find) and KfW2 who appeared to be romantically tied to the miserable bloke. beyond that, I don't remember an awful lot. I've posted dreams on here before when I feel they should make sense and I feel this one should. Both KfW2 and DSC are important in my life right now, just for being good friends. RB did figure prominently in my life for a brief time and this other guy is currently the bane of my life because I'm fed up trying to get him to be his own person - he has an awful habit of not making his own mind up on anything.

Regardless of what the dream actually meant, the couple fucking last night, with KfW2 and RB (both of whom I think are very attractive, sexy women) has meant that today has been an incredibly frustrating day.

Hopefully, a few pints with M in the pub later will take my mind off that!

Laziness and procrastination

I haven't posted anything meaty in a bit - there are no excuses, just laziness and procrastination. There are things I want to say, but I can never find the energy to sit down and type them up.

Nothing's happened so far with MMBF despite the handy links of MM, QC2 and M. I shall plan on getting M out next week for beers and seeing how the land lies. I still remain suitably confused regarding where to go with MMBF, but I think I shall put this uncertainty to the side and just go with the flow. At least, that's USHW's advice. USHW is being more decisive. She reckons that if I can't nail it down, then there's nothing to nail down - feelings-wise. I dunno.

Regardless, M should be back from his honeymoon, so it's about time we headed out for some beers. I don't want to make a HUGE night of it because the next night is a night out with D, FBS etc. and they're usually extremely drunken. However, if I get in there early enough, MM might well arrange a girly night out while M and I are solving the world's problems and if that happens, we're bound to hook up with the girls later that evening.

I'll start things moving tomorrow.

Flashback.

Every time I see this picture of Liz Hurley, I think of CAB. While I don't think they look alike beyond vague similarities (brunette, similar figure etc.), there's just something about this photo that reminds me of her, both facially and in terms of body. CAB had a magnificent body, and this picture really does remind me of her.

;)

I am tipsy and mischievous. This is not a good combination.

A little help from my friends

I'm probably going to miss an awful lot here, but I'll try and get everything into words. I had my night out with QC2, as recently arranged. Nights out with QC2 are good - she's good company, we have a laugh and, when required, we have the serious conversations too. The only issue is that we don't do it enough. Last week's meeting, for example, was our first in easily 18 months, despite both of us trying to arrange something on a semi-regular basis. Because these meet-ups are so infrequent, we tend to miss out an awful lot of "news". I know I do, but part of that is my own issue and I believe I've blogged about it before with regards to QC2. I feel uncomfortable talking about myself, or at least making me the topic of conversation, so when I wanted to tell QC2 about RB a few years ago, I didn't because we didn't get around to talking about my love life or lack thereof. In fact, just as an aside, I think Thursday was the first time I mentioned RB to QC2.

However, things got off to a decent start. QC2 was very excited about telling me that she knew a girl who was at the same wedding as me (M and MM last week), and I smugly said that I knew who she was talking about - MM's brunette friend. I explained that I thought she was interesting and cute, but never went as far as to say that I was conflicted about how I felt about her - platonic or not? We kinda got side-tracked onto how useless I am at spotting the signals with women and QC2 mentioned that, in the past, she had noticed women being very interested while I was oblivious.

She mentioned two - FBS and QC3 as well as a few other random women from nights out in the pub. I kinda knew about both FBS and QC3, after all, FBS and I fucked a few times and the QC3 thing was common knowledge, but we circled around each other for a few weeks until she left the country. The latter incident stems from me not wanting to be the centre of attention. QC3 and myself spent plenty of time in each other's company in the pub, but always with our friends watching to see what would happen. What I should have done was asked QC3 out on different nights where I have no doubt that we would have hooked up, but that was easy to spot in hindsight.

Getting back to QC2, she had mentioned that MM's brunette friend (MMBF) has often asked QC2 to come out to the pub. If that's the case, and I do decide to pursue MMBF, then I might make this work to my advantage. If I'm out with M and MM, QC2 and MMBF are all out, then if there is any chemistry, I can rely on QC2, I hope, to report back because I will, inevitably, not see it.

The waiting game.

All last week, I had been looking forward to M's wedding. It's been ages since I was at a full wedding and I was anticipating seeing some old school friends as well as two of M's fiancé's friends (M's fiancé will be known as MM from now on). After talking to a few friends like DSC, I had plans to investigate whether MM's friends (they've been mentioned before in posts, this one being the most recent - a blonde and a brunette) were showing any interest. There's a little chemistry with both of them, but not enough to be able to say with any certainty that any approach would be welcome.

So, cue the wedding. A great day was had by all, but the goals of having a good chat with either of these ladies fell somewhat short of the mark. I had a brief, 15 minute, chat with the blonde (SBF) during the afternoon and she was as stunning as I remember, but she left early and before I was in any position to take the conversation further (i.e. before I hit just the right stage of drunkenness where I get the confidence to approach people). Later in the evening, towards the end of the night, I did get a chance to chat with the brunette. It was well after 11 PM before I got a chance to talk to her for the first time, and between then and the end of the night, we must have chatted a few more times. I caught her at the end of the night and made sure she got into a taxi OK (I did try to get her to stay longer to no avail), before I joined the others in the residents' bar. I'm not 100% sure that there's anything there... but I've laid some groundwork. I probably won't see her until M and MM return from their honeymoon, but even then, I've made some suggestions to M that the brunette is a catch. I've dropped a few hints with MM too.

As an aside, I've made arrangements to meet QC2 on Thursday and it just so happens that she is friends with MMBF (according to Facebook ) though I am unsure of the exact details. I might quiz QC2 and see what the score is there, too.

I'd said to DSC that I wasn't sure about the brunette as I wasn't feeling the chemistry the way I had in the past with others such as Date No. 1 or RB, but she suggested that it could be a slow burner because she thinks I am interested even if I don't recognise it myself.

I guess I'm not going to find out until after M and MM return.

Good 'n' Bad.

It appears that if you're a woman in my life, things are happening - good and bad. KfW2's grandmother died yesterday, and she's understandably extremely upset. I think DSC got dumped today by her (now ex) boyfriend for supposedly being a mentalist (his opinion) but all she wanted was for him to grow and for the relationship to move forward. As a bloke, I don't think this is an unreasonable request (and FA2 nearly dumped me several times for not growing up and moving our relationship forward, or so she admitted much later). I'm still trying to get information out of her, but that's the impression I'm getting from the little she's said so far. On the positive side, M's fiance is getting married next week, a friend CH (I think I've mentioned her before, but she'll probably get more mentions, so she gets a code name) has had her 12 week scan today and is overjoyed and another friend 's wife has announced she's pregnant too.

Socialising digest.

DSC mentioned tonight that it's unlikely she'll be out until after Xmas. I suspect that means in terms of meeting for lunch and big weekend nights out. I hope that doesn't mean the end of meeting for a quiet drink and talking rubbish. For my sake, I like the getting out bit and for her sake, she needs an outlet if she's going to continue dating this idiot she's currently with.

I've also started arranging a night out with FBS, D etc for around the start of November. We haven't seen each other at all this year. I think the last time we were all out was FBS's wedding about this time last year, so it'll be good to catch up and have a bit of a laugh.

I'm due a night out with KfW2 as well. It was meant to be this week, but she's at a wedding, so it'll be the end of next month. I'm looking forward to that - she's good company and we have good chemistry and adding alcohol makes things funner. I know that's not a real word, but it's true.

The last thing in the pipeline at the moment is M's wedding in a few week's time. I think I might be pinning too much on hooking up with M's fiancé's cute brunette friend (MMBF) or the stunning blonde one (SBF) at the moment. I have a slight suspicion, right now, that the brunette is a little bit interested. Or else I'm mis-reading stuff again. The blonde one is a bit of a pipe dream. I'm not a believer of attractive women being out of my league because I believe that personality is much more important and it's that which makes me feel she's out of my league, even though I think the blonde is stunning and sexy. We get on well together, she's intelligent and there's a little tiny bit of chemistry, but it's the fact she's so friendly and personable that, well, intimidates me a little. However going back to the brunette... am I interested in her or is this a case of being interested because she's cute and single? In all honesty, I think I need to get to know her better before I can say for certain.

Blast from the Past

I've just seen a few pictures on Facebook of a girl I used to go to primary school with. I fancied her then and it seems I probably still do now! Still, she wasn't the one I really fancied back in the day... pity she's not on Facebook though.

WTF?

I've just fired up Skype for the first time in months, hoping to see E online for a chat only to find a friend request from FA2 from only 2 days ago. The woman who already has about a dozen different contact methods/numbers/addresses and uses none of them. Hmmm...

Nothing to see here...

Hmmm... this one's for draft only, I think.

To Arthur!

For some, it's an excuse to go out on the lash, for others, it's a global corporation flexing its muscles for something that will pay dividends in the future but for me, it's time spent with friends. Which I do a lot anyway... in the pub. Tonight though, I wasn't in the mood. I've had a splitting headache for the best past of four days (no doubt fallout from the stag weekend), work's not busy, so I've been filling time, but at the last minute, I had a change of heart and went out. This was probably about half eight, so about three hours after I should have been in the pub. When I did finally pitch in, I was introduced to another couple of MF's friends... two sisters. One's married, but the other is 90% up my street: tall, slim, brunette, great smile. It was weird though. I spent most of the night chatting to my work chum (not MF, someone else) and ignoring the other three, but when our conversations did cross, they were good fun. I'd like to meet this girl again. From a physical perspective, I'd like to do a lot more, but for now, getting another night with chat would be great fun.

Party time.

In a few weeks time I'm going to be doing something I've rarely done in the past... I'm going to stay over in the hotel at a wedding. M's wedding, in fact. This will be the first time I've stayed in a hotel locally though. Usually, I've just gotten a taxi home at the end of the night. If the stag weekend is anything to go by, then it should be really good fun, and if M's fiancé's friends are anything to go by, then there should be plenty of eye candy on offer. I've mentioned a blonde girl before and a brunette girl within the past few months on the blog, both of whom are extremely attractive (the blonde I'd probably go so far as "stunning"). And without any hard evidence, I have a sneaking suspicion that there might be some match-making going on at the wedding (with the aforementioned brunette), so I'm keeping the fiancé sweet. So, I'm hoping that having a room at the wedding will mean that I'm a little more pro-active in chatting to more people (i.e. single females), plus know the bride and groom, this will be an extremely social wedding, so I'm expecting lots of people to be staying over and for the party to go on very late. M has also said that there's probably going to be a second night out, the day after the wedding, so any groundwork laid on the actual wedding day can be followed up. I'm actually really looking forward to this, as a social thing, in addition to M getting married.

LAWD!

Over the past few months, I've (re)connected with people I knew from school - primary and secondary. In particular, there are two girls who were, respectively (and in my own opinion, of course) the best looking girl at each. Time, it's fair to say, has been good to them. Both of them, though, post far too much on Facebook (in my opinion, again) about their church-going exploits.

Church going etc. is close to being a deal breaker with me. However, it does remind me that there's another girl from primary school I'd love to meet for a coffee - small, brunette, dark eyes, pixie-like features. She was the one I fancied in primary school and beyond. I haven't seen her in about ten years though.

I also knew another girl from a place I worked at around 8 years ago and she was weird too. I don't think I've seen a girl hungrier for cock than this girl. By the time I met her, she'd already been married at 18 and that had fallen apart - the rumours were that she was playing away from home because her then husband didn't give her enough in the sack.

During the brief six months that I worked with her, she had spent an entire night in the disabled toilets in a bar on a team night out doing something with one of the blokes from the office, on another team night out, she spent the entire night trying it on with me. I did...eventually. All the while, there were "stories" from her, about people she had met at the weekends. It didn't take a lot of reading between the lines to realise that if a bloke paid her the slightest bit of attention, he pretty much got his leg over, if he wanted (and she was cute enough).

Fast forward a year and I met her in my local at the time and she's six months pregnant to some randommer. Again, she's another girl who has found religion and who peppers her Facebook posts with religious activities, quotes and the like. And while this has nothing to do with cute girls that I knew from school - UF sounds like he's shagging his girlfriend next door.

Addendum to the last post.

I found out today that AM sent an email to my work address, crying off the party at 8PM on a Friday night as they couldn't get a baby-sitter in. If she hadn't done me a huge favour a few weeks ago with regards my new place, I think this would be where I cut the strings and forget about her... and QC1 to a certain extent. The inability of QC1 to do anything remotely important without AM is unbelievable. Lunch yeah, no problem. She'll be there. turn up to a party with my friends in attendance? Not in 20 years of knowing her. Go figure.

Grrr.

For the first time, in a long time, I hosted a party at my new place. It was a semi-housewarming and I wanted to get people round to see it because a lot of people were interested in seeing it, what with it being a prime, city centre apartment (I hesitate to say 'penthouse' apartment, but it's not far off it). It was a decent enough gathering - about 15 people showed up, but I would have liked a few more. QC1 cried off at 6PM, which meant that I inevitably wouldn't see AM (and true to form, AM and her husband never showed up), but the absentees that really annoyed me were my sister and brother-in-law. No replies to emails and a no show (from lots of people, but these two were ones I really wanted to attend). DSC says I'm being stroppy, and I probably am, but I think it's polite to reply to invites, especially if you're not going to be able to make it. Saying that, those that were there enjoyed themselves, so I might actually consider having another one soon.

"You are an idiot"

Once again, I volunteered to nip off to talk to school kids about careers. The cute, familiar girl was there again and this time, I did get to speak to her and there was lots of banter swapped. Flirting? A little. Was it reciprocated? I think so. Back in the office, I was chatting to KfW2 and the topic of this girl came up. KfW2 suggested that today was a perfect opportunity to ask for a phone number. I had to explain that I have a history of not seizing these opportunities when they arise, so she has now decided that I am an idiot AND the next time we go out, probably towards the end of the month, that she's going to give me exercises to do i.e. go talk to people in the pub etc. That sounds like a laugh. I'll have a bash at that! if I'm in the right mood, approaching people isn't an issue, but as regular readers and friends will know, I have this awful ability to not turn flirty chatting into phone numbers and hookups.

Familiar looking faces.

I've just spent a few hours with SSCW, telling kids about careers. Since SSCW returned after having her baby, I haven't had a lot of time to sit and chat with her - different departments etc. these days. We were at one of the local universities and there was a girl there, semi-related to what we were doing. She was cute, great arse, nice smile and was very familiar. looking. I have no idea where I've seen her. The pub? Some work-related thing? Dating websites? I have no idea. I wasn't talking to her, so I couldn't ask any questions, but I don't recognise her name (she was wearing a name badge), though I have definitely seen her somewhere before. I'm due to do the same thing for the rest of the week, so I hope I'll get a chance to talk to her before Friday.

Blogging on the move

I've just downloaded a blogging app for my iPhone so I'll now be able to log on the move. Whether or not that's going to mean an increase in posts or a general upturn in how interesting this blog is, we'll have to see. I know that, in the past, I've thought about something to report here during the day and then forgotten about or apathy set in. To be honest though, they are few and far between.

Housekeeping.

Do you want to know bored I was yesterday? I tidied up the posts relating to FA1 and FA2 because, quite frankly, they were all over the place. I had gotten them mixed up at one point and the stories were all jumbled up. I didn't have to sort them out but in my head, they needed tidied. I doubt any readers will be able to tell the difference between the pre-tidied and post-tidied ones, but I can and that's enough.

Grrr...

Today should have been the final piece of the puzzle regarding the new place... getting a new cooker and washing machine installed. And, to be honest, that did happen. Useless flatmate (I'd better start giving him a name, so he'll be UF from now on) didn't stay around with the workmen though and I arrived home to find a broken lock. I found it by trying to get into the apartment and failing miserably. MfW was not much help. His first port of call was to try and beat down the door before calling me. Only then did he realise that he could have called the building manager or, preferably, our estate agent's (i.e. managing agent) out of hours mobile number. They suggested a locksmith and so we called one. Fifty quid later and we're in the apartment, the lock has been repaired (and is in better condition than it was this morning, thanks to the locksmith) and it's up to me to go to them and ask for the money back. Now that the stress is leaking out of me, I'm incredibly tired and I'll definitely sleep well tonight, but today has just highlighted how useless my housemates are at dealing with stuff.

What I need is a fuck, a cigarette and a beer... in precisely that order.

The green-eyed monster.

MfW is away on a date tonight. I had to say that I'm more than a little jealous. Over the past few months he's met a fair few people for ummm... romantic liaisons. I don't know how he does it... he appears to be appalling at approaching people, with no sense of humour (well, to be honest, he has a bit, but he appears to be incapable of laughing at himself). Any time we're out, it's me that has to approach others. he tends to stand around necking Dutch courage and saying "right, we need to start talking to people" and ultimately not doing anything. It's a bit rich coming from him as he's the one who will wake up the next morning and proclaim the night out to be a disaster because he never got talking to someone. The last time I went out on the pull with with MfW successfully, he did a spectacular job of cock blocking me (Near Miss) simply because the other girl wasn't interested in him and coupled with his drunkenness, he managed to scare them both off.

Of course, there's more to it than just meeting women. Given that Recruitment Bird was the last girl I actually found myself really attracted to and that was 3 years ago, I am somewhat concerned about my ability to meet people. I know I've spoken of others recently - M's fiancé's friend, for example, but that's more of a case of I know that they're cute and single and kind of feel obliged to be interested in them.

Confusion.

I have to admit to being a little confused. I was out last night with M for a few drinks. We ended up being joined by M's fiancé and her friend. I've mentioned the friend before in a previous post. She is cute, she was very chatty last night and I think she was trying to initiate physical contact - all good signs, but then she simply went home without as much as a goodbye. This is not the first time she has done this. In addition, both M and his fiancé have both warned me off, albeit indirectly. There's been no direct "don't go there" warning, but lots of hints. I don't know what to do really. I guess I'll just have to let things play out.

Fun and frolics... and the gym.

Finally settled into the new place... mostly. The TV and broadband is finally installed, just waiting for the phone line for full communications plus for the handling agent to fix a few issues and we'll be ready to rock and roll. That'll lead us on to a house-warming party within the next month, which should be good fun (plus I quite like the idea of showing this place off - it's really quite impressive). The downside is that I seem to have found myself doing all the bloody work in contacting the building manager, contacting the handling agent, getting the TV and broadband installed etc. MfW is one of those guys that has a lot of opinions and ideas, but very little get up and go in order to accomplish them. Still... I'm just thinking about getting everything sorted ASAP, then I can think about the house-warming party.

In other, socialising news, this weekend I'm due to meet up with QC1 and AM (with their better halves). I can't see that being too hectic, so I might contact M to see if he fancies a few pints at the weekend too. I've also been invited to M's wedding in a few months' time as well as his stag party. That'll also be a good few nights out... plus there are still potentials to consider. I mentioned a blonde girl a few months ago that I had my eye on, and I'm hoping she'll be at the wedding, plus I've met another of M's fiancé's friends a few times, who's cute and brunette and seems like good fun, though I've been warned she's high maintenance. I don't do high maintenance, so that might have to remain a mystery.

Still, the wedding has given me a bit of incentive to get back to the gym and lose a bit of weight before the wedding. I had already promised myself that I'd go back once we'd moved house and settled... and we pretty much have. The fact that the gym is only about 10 mins walk from our new place means that I really will have no excuse not to go at least a couple of times per week, even in winter (rainy days are still going to be an issue though).

Never go back.

I have a bad feeling about a couple of things. Specifically, both DSC and MfW have hooked up weith their most recent exes this week. I can't remember if I've ever mentioned DSC's boyfriend before, but essentially, he's exactly the kind of person I don't like - inflexible, set in his ways, closed off. Ever since DSc told me about him, I had my misgivings and in true, blunt, Ruuude style, I've been very blunt about him to DSC. They originally broke up aboout three or four months ago, then DSC started seeing him again without telling anyone in a semi-kind of fuck buddy scenario. The boyfriend went so far as to specifically say that he didn't want DSC to be off looking for anyone new, but he was also adamant about him and DSC not being a couple. Eventually, DSC got wise and broke it off and recently, she was a lot happier than I remember her being in a long, long time. Then the ex-boyfriend started texting again at the start of the week and since Thursday, they've been officially "back on". To say I'm angry is an understatement and I've promised that I will sit her down for a chat very, very soon. She knows I'm angry and I know what her counter-argument will be. We'll agree to disagree and I'll have to soak up the inevitable fallout.

MfW got an email from his most recent ex-girlfriend on Friday night. They've never worked well together and MFw goes back time and again and it lasts for a few weeks before ending messily again. Within 24 hours, MfW had this girl in the pub and, judging from the noise at half three this morning, fucked her. Inevitably, he will complain about it at some point later today, but if he's that desperate for a fuck, he a deal with the consequences himself this time. That's MfW for you... always looking for the easiest way out. About the only time he does put in the work is when he goes to the gym and seems to bust a gut lifting weights, but for everything else, it's just the path of least resistance.

What is value for money?

MfW has been annoying recently. The big, somewhat paranoid argument in the middle of June is just one example of how volatile MfW can be.

Over the past few days, in the discussions we're having regarding the new house, MfW has been making somewhat strange suggestions... in my own opinion, of course. When trying to decide on a cut of the rent for the new house, MfW seems reluctant to agree that the largest bedroom, complete with an en-suite shower room is worth more than the other two rooms that aren't quite as large. I've suggested that whomever gets the biggest room should be paying at least thirty pounds more than any of the others, but MfW's suggestion means that the luckiest person would pay, maybe ten pounds more than the others. Despite him agreeing that the big room is by far the pick of the bunch, he's strangely reluctant to assign a higher value to it, to something that he would be using every day, should he be lucky enough to get it.

He mentioned it again this morning... but as usual, he focuses on completely the wrong thing. He's too focused on what I perceive to be the value of the room rather than the differential between the biggest room and the others.

Strange.

Ruuude SMASH!

This moving house malarkey has me stressed and angry. For some reason, I appear to be the main contact for everything and MfW is starting to make life very fucking difficult by being a pedant. The other housemate, who's moving with us, has been very backwards in helping us move whether by accident or design. For example, right now, when we should be agreeing who's taking which room in our new place, he's nowhere to been, despite him usually being in the house an hour before now. When we should be trying to get the house in shape for leaving, he's off on a trip to see a concert. Over the past eight or more weeks, not once has he looked or recommended somewhere to live... he's done none of the work. I'll be glad when Monday or Tuesday rolls around and we're in our new place (and I hopefully have the master bedroom with all its perks). Being the driving force behind these two is tiring and I haven't been sleeping well recently, so it's putting me in a bad mood.

The new place is fantastic, though. I'm really looking forward to moving in and getting settled for a bit.

And another...

And on a similar note, Lucy Worsley.

She's cute and intelligent. Even in a relatively dull subject, she's enthusiastic and knowledgeable.

Katie Holmes is a fantastic looking woman

Of all the women I've been attracted to, since I was old enough to find women attractive and not smelly things that annoyed me, I've always been more attracted to brunettes.

I'm just caught a few seconds of Eli Stone on the TV. I've never watched it before, but Katie Holmes is in it, looking fabulous, with short hair. Not many women can carry off the short hair look, but she's definitely one of them.

Indecent thoughts.

I am having somewhat indecent thoughts about KfW2. We're having a text/Facebook conversation and she's telling me about her fancy dress collection, all of which sounds pretty funky and sexy and, you know, she is a good looking girl. I shouldn't be having these thoughts though. I think need to meet someone again.

Bombshell

By chance, I was talking to R2 on Facebook today. I was all set for asking her for a coffee but then she dropped a bombshell. Apparently an ex-boyfriend of hers tracked her down, whisked her away for a romantic weekend and proposed, all quite out of the blue and now she's based back in the States. It was because she moved to the States years ago that meant we never progressed beyond having a bit of a friendship.

Even after she moved away, we still conversed by letter (pre-internet, believe it or not) until it inevitably fizzled out. Now I have a bit of regret at not making more of an effort to get her out for a drink or a coffee over the past year or so.

Is this the end?

My blogging this year has been appalling despite a good start in January. Work has been a major factor with a good few months of stress involved - something I've never experienced before in my life. But now it's just apathy. I'm seriously considering jacking in the blogging - after all, with few followers, no comments and little or nothing to say, what's the point?

As an aside, a lot of my favourite blogs are falling into neglect... sometimes due to other side projects as a result of the blogging and others have just gone quiet. Time for new blogs. Do you have any suggestions?

Being frank.

Spent an afternoon in the sun, drinking with DSC. Great fun and we both took the opportunity to tell some home truths to each other... in a good way, of course. I mentioned that she was forcing this thing with her ex-boyfriend (who's a clown by all account) and that I expect the so-called reconciliation to go tits up sooner rather than later because neither of the two of them have given each other the space they need during their break-up to sort their heads out. There's no denying that they can't work as a couple, but breaking up with someone, not seeing them for about a week, then going into fuck buddy status before trying to get back together isn't the way to go about these things... in my opinion. This will not end well, I predict.

On the flip side, DSC was warning me about my friendship with KfW2. There's no doubt that we're close and have some good chemistry, but there's nothing more to it than that. DSC is concerned about something, but I'm not entirely sure what. I did ask, but I'm not sure that DSC was able to put into words what her gut feeling was. I think it was something to do with the fact that when KfW2 and myself were out for a few drinks last week that someone from work asked KfW2 if we were married. Note, not dating or in a relationship, but actually married. This set off bells in DSC's head as this is not the first time she's heard something similar. DSC, I think, was more concerned about KfW2 might do rather than me, despite me explaining about KfW2's home life. There are so many reasons why KfW2 and I will not end up together that were explained to DSC, but still she felt the need to dish out a warning.

Fair enough. I can take the warning. I can disagree with DSC. In fact, I do! However, if DSC is concerned about KfW2 getting too attached, I can keep an eye out for that.

Tardy and inadequate digest.

Another digest. At this rate, I might as well give up the blogging lark, not that it isn't cathartic when I get to post, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to a) motivate myself to post and b) find the time. More the former, to be fair.

Since my last post, physiotherapy has ended and I've started back playing sports again. I've not yet expanded this into going to the gym, but I already feel better and hope that when I add the gym to my weekly exercise, that I will start losing some weight, too. My current wardrobe is getting a little tight around the waist for my liking.

MfW has been a fucking pain in the arse with regards our impending house move. He's prone to periods of complete paranoia and his latest episode is to accuse me of deliberately throwing a spanner in the works with regards a house move, despite the proposed house being completely wrong for me. Luckily, I was able to sit down with him and have a chat, but it was a lot more stress and trouble than it should have been.

The friendship with KfW2 is really moving forward though... we've been out for lunch, had drinks and it wouldn't surprise me if there were rumours around the office about us. Not that I care about such things and, hey, who doesn't like being linked romantically to hot women? It's more than just chat in the office and filling gaps at lunchtime... there's plenty of phone calls and texting and, as mentioned above, the odd social drink after work (and sometimes at lunch).

There are a couple of big social things coming up over the next few weeks that I'm really looking forward to. Out with KfW2 to the pub on Friday to a work thing and that'll probably do me for this weekend. The week after, there are two big events that I'm really looking forward to. On top of that, my nephews are having their birthdays in July, so there's plenty of fun and stuff to look forward to.

Is a 12 year age difference too much?

As I said in a recent post, KfW2 and I, while spending a lot of time talking to each other, actually swap precious little in the way of personal information. Today, she asked a question. I've said this to many people in the past, and I'll make a point of saying to KfW2 soon: I don't talk about myself a lot, but I'll answer pretty much any question thrown my way.

KfW2 asked, in pretty poor timing, if I thought my physiotherapist was, well, I'm not going to attempt to even repeat the phrase she used, but the upshot of it was "would you consider asking her out?"

The answer was that she was too young surprised KfW2. She seemed to think that men didn't care that a 12 year age difference was important. Maybe not in a one night stand scenario, but it definitely is if I'm looking for anything more. She told me about the father of her kid (he's over ten years older than she) and said that she didn't think it was important, but I'm not sure.

KfW2 added that she thought I looked at least 6 years younger than I actually am, so I've been looking pretty cheerful since I left work.

Oh, and why was the timing of KfW2's question so poor? Well, only because it could have been the start of a decent, meaty conversation, but it all started to happen just as I was powering down my PC and getting ready to leave the building for the evening.

Apathy fades for a few brief seconds

Friday night was a work night out and I managed to spend a lot of time chatting to KfW2. KfW2 and I have been spending a lot of time together recently. I'm still amazed that we are at this stage given that I am convinced (and there was a partial admission from her) that she didn't like me once upon a time. We kind of skirt round each other in terms of actually swapping any personal information, so while we do spend a lot of time talking, we don't know each other all that well.

Friday, I think, might have changed that a bit. Rather than just swap emails and text messages, I think we actually had a proper conversation. Suffice to say, when she went home, there were the inevitable winks and thinly veiled questions. It's all for nothing though. There are many reasons why I wouldn't go anywhere near KfW2 - I work with her, she's not single, she has a kid already and did I mention that I work with her? I know my "don't date work colleagues" is a guideline rather than a rule, but dating someone you sit twelve feet from is completely different to dating someone from an entirely different department.

Also, based on some nagging from DSC tonight, I've logged into my old Plenty of Fish account and sent a few messages to interesting and/or cute looking girls. I predict that I will be back here within three days to report no replies to any of my messages. An admission, it was only partly DSC's nagging that made me log in again. Sitting, having a proper conversation with KfW2 (who's very cute, I think I should also admit), was nice. I can't remember the last time I sat down and got to know someone over a few drinks. I really enjoyed it. That was enough to let this apathy I have for dating sites fade for a bit and drum up some enthusiasm.

Girl talk

Going back to what DSC was talking about a few weeks ago regarding chemistry/spark. A quick recap is basically, DSC doesn't think spark is required when dating. I think it's vitally important. I was saying that M's fiance's friend is exactly the type of girl I think I should be interested in, but I didn't think there was a spark despite her ticking a lot of boxes. DSC asked if it were possible that friends could develop that spark and I said that I thought they could, but that would be different to going on half a dozen dates and hoping that something develops which is what DSC was advocating. Re: the friends thing... I've done it myself with a few girls in the past - QC1 and QC3 spring to mind as obvious choices, plus a mutual friend of QC2 and AM that I talked myself into being attracted to.

What's the relevance here then? I've recently started seeing a physio about some of my long-term injury problems with a view to getting back to activity in the early summer. She's cute... very cute in fact and appears to tick a lot of boxes - intelligent, similar interests in travel, active etc. There's certainly enough there that, had I met her in the pub, I'd seriously consider asking for her number. So, based on the three meetings we've had so far, I was giving this some serious thought. The one downside that I saw was that I thought she was a bit young. A bit of Facebook investigation (definitely not stalking, oh no) has suggested she easily a dozen years younger than me. That's just too much, sadly. Seven years, maybe, given my age, but a dozen is simply too much. Shame that.

Taking one step forward.

I had a spare ten minutes in work today, so I fired off a quick email to my house mate, giving an indication that I want us to start seriously think about finding somewhere else to live. I gave a rough indication of how much I think we should be spending and I gave a sample search off a property website, indicating which areas of the city I would consider living in plus the types of accommodation I would consider.

I would ordinarily talk to him about it, but I've lost count of the amount of times I've meant to say something to him recently, only to get sidetracked or for him to be out of the house himself. I sent the email just to get the ball rolling, but I don't really want to chase him up on this. Luckily, I have a fallback option. MfW is looking for somewhere new to live, and he needs somewhere ASAP. I think MfW and I would share tastes in houses, so finding somewhere would be pretty easy, in my opinion. I've also suggested to house mate that MfW could share with us - it would be nice to split the bills three ways.

I guess if house mate hasn't approached me about moving house, then I'll tell MfW that we should look together and just get on with it. my house mate can then go fuck himself.

Grrr... Part Two.

The house mate thing I'd previously blogged about is partly my own fault. Over the past year or so, I've been the one tidying the house, buying the sundries, getting the gas etc. in. Comments that he might chip in or we create a household fund for washing up liquid, toilet paper etc. have never created any offers of a few quid.

Despite the fact that my house mate's room is spotlessly clean, he rarely lifts a finger elsewhere in the house, which is weird as he has his girlfriend around. If I were regularly inviting my girlfriend to the house to stay over, I'd like to make sure that the house was clean.

So, at the start of this week, my house mate had (deliberately) not topped up the gas card and had left the house without electricity (a 5 min job online) and had owed me money for previous gas and electricity top ups. I owed him money for our Sky TV and the way it all balanced out, if he'd top up the gas, we'd be all square.

It's not the money. He's good for the money, and it's a small enough amount that I could walk away and forget about it. It's about the effort. Taking the time to notice that we're out of washing up liquid and buying a bottle on the way home from work, or the gas has run out and topping up the card on the way home from work or... well, you get the picture.

I'll make a prediction now: we're still out of gas. He's had 48 hours... more, actually, to top up the gas. He'll go home at the weekend, meaning that I'll have to go out and get the gas, take the time to walk the 20 mins to the shop and pay the cash.

A small digest.

Only bits and pieces to report... started physiotherapy today a mere two months or so after consulting my GP. Hopefully this will get sorted quickly and I can get back to playing sport and trying to drop some weight. The fact that she's quite easy on the eye is a bonus, although she's massaging my leg and not anything else. Still, back next week for further treatment and a good ogle at her (very fine) arse.

My new friend in work is also entertaining me. We've hit it off quite quickly. She lives out of the city and has a family so she's not out as often as I would like (or she, for that matter). Partly, that's selfishness on my part. I do have fun with her, but at the moment, I'm more intrigued about this friend of hers that she's trying to set me up with.

With DSC's comments in the past, I'm also semi-considering seeing what chance I might have with the good-looking blonde friend of M's fiancé. M's fiancé would be a more than willing matchmaker, I think, it's me I have to convince, I think.

Grrr...

The house mate was in the house for a whole day and a half last week and he still managed to leave a pile of dishes to be done plus left the house with electricity or gas. The dishes is a minor inconvenience, but the gas and electricity thing is annoying. Due to a previous house mate, our gas and leccy is on a meter and we need to top up via card. There's a reserve on the gas and the leccy beeps when it's close to the limit.

I arrived home on Friday night to a dark house - no lights, no fridge, no beeping. That because my housemate took the lead out of the meter, which stops it beeping. He could easily have gone online and topped up the leccy and given me the code, but he disappeared off and never said a word. The same is true with the gas. There's a couple of cubic metres as a reserve when the main supply goes done, but this appears to have been used up as well, so he used the reserve and never topped up the card.

I'm seriously contemplating moving in with another mate who's also looking for a house.

Well, helllllllooooooo baby!

I was walking about the town earlier with a few guys from work when we neared a sandwich shop that the guys wanted to visit. As we approached, I peered in to see if it was busy, even though I was going to another shop just up the street when two girls exited. One, blonde and gorgeous, stepped out and I caught her eye by accident and she gave me a HUGE smile. Feeling rather chuffed with myself, I ambled up the road and bought my own sandwich. When the guys rejoined me, one of the guys (renowned as a bit of a ladies man) was very excited.

"Man, did you see the way that girl practically fucked you with her eyes?"

Why, yes. Yes I did. I'd love to get that look when I'm out and about socially, not in the middle of town when I can't approach her!

Still... it put a spring in my step for the rest of the afternoon.

Inner reflection II

I had a bit of a revelation last weekend. I need to get out of the house more. Over the past two months, I've done pretty much nothing during the week apart from go to work, come home and veg out in front of the telly or the PC of an evening then get up the next morning and repeat. This is partly why I've been in a "meh" mood recently.

It doesn't matter what I do, I think, I just need to get out of the house for a bit during the week - cinema, pub quiz, meet friends any of this will do. With the good weather here, I will make more of an effort to do fun stuff at night.

*grin*

I am an uncle again! Not that they'll ever read this, but congrats to the whole family.

Mysterious girl...

Work is deteriorating rapidly and gaining momentum and next week will be a pivotal week, I feel. However, I am in an amazing mood. The weather is fantastic and a trip around the shops earlier found me walking behind a rather slim, girl in a summer dress that was rather clingy around the ass, showing off a great set of legs in knee-high boots and vague hint of a g-string (which probably explains why it was a little clingy around the posterior). I've no idea what she looked like - she could have been the least attractive woman in the world or a supermodel. Sadly, I'll never know, but the sight of her slinking along the High Street has definitely given my libido a kick up the arse. A summertime kick-start, if you will.

So have a picture where I pretend this is the girl who was in front of me today.

The model above, while obviously a model and therefore very attractive, reminds me of Near Miss and Pretty Blonde - slim, nice figure, pretty. Near Miss was wearing something similar the night we hooked up, including the g-string, but strappy shoes instead of boots.

Inner reflection

Things have been interesting, from a self-examination perspective, not for any other reason.

Work is still pants. I like the actual work, but the dealing with people is proving tiresome. Everything that's not my core job is much more effort and trouble than it should be.

Either way, that's not why I'm blogging. DSC and myself went out for a drink a few nights ago and eventually we got around to talking about why I was single and my recent online dating experiences (and lack thereof). I explained (as I've already stated on here) that it's been ages since I was last attracted to someone... really attracted to someone. That was RB which was, what, almost three years ago?

Three years. Christ. Anyway, I was telling DSC about the mutual friend with M's fiance - a tall, sexy, intelligent girl who I get along with, and she's someone I feel I should like, but there's no 'spark'. If I were to sit down and make a list of the things I'd like in a partner, she'd tick most of them. She suggested I should maybe try anyway with this girl, but even if dating was on the cards, I'd feel guilty about going on a date when there was no kick of attraction.

On a semi-related note, the same thing can be said about KfW2. She's very much a girl I should be attracted to - the box ticking thing I talk about above applies here as well. Recently, we've been getting along famously. Nothing will ever happen because she's currently in a relationship, but also because I directly work with her and to a lesser extent, because she has a kid.

But DSC's words have started me thinking. Should I start poking about to see if this blonde girl is thinking about entering the dating market again? Part of me is thinking I should and that's not like me at all.

The busy social life of ruuude

An interesting few days. Work is still a pain in the ass, but everything that's going wrong is not my fault, so I can relax and just try and do the best that I can.

We had a work night out yesterday that was really good fun. KfW2 and myself are getting along brilliantly, which is still a cause for some bemusement on my part given that I think she didn't actually like me not that long ago. We were swapping banter all last night, even when our respective groups of friends ended up in different bars.

JB and myself continue our banter/flirting. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I won't be making any moves there. She's a really good looking girl, but she's really high maintenance in terms of what she wants from a man. A mutual acquaintance seems to have the hots for her though, and I am amused to watch him in action, especially when JB and I are close and she ends up sitting on my lap or with our arms around each other. I get the feeling he doesn't like me that much!

Finally, two mutual friends of ours had split up months ago and tried to remain friends. We all knew this was going to end in disaster, and boy did it ever last night. This is all still happening, so I'll wait until it all calms down before posting about it in more detail. I am amused by it though... there's an awful lot of stupidity on show.

I'm meeting M tonight for pints. Hopefully his fiance will be there too. I was talking to a mutual friend last night - a really pretty tall blonde girl - I think I've mentioned her on the blog before, laying some ground work for the future, so if M's fiance is out, then I can do more ground work.

Another lazy digest.

Another all-in-one digest because, if I'm being honest, I'm not really in the mood to blog a lot these days. Mostly that's the current frustrations with work, even though things are much better than they were four weeks ago. I'm still not 100% happy though and this is why I'm really not happy about going back to work tomorrow after a few days off.

I'm still way behind on my fitness goals too - the Achilles problem is still there because I still haven't sorted the physiotherapy. I've also had a few twinged with my back, unrelated I think to the Achilles thing, but frustrating nonetheless. I must put it on my "to do" list for this week.

Socially, things have been good. Just this week we had St. Patrick's Day which was great fun and just last night, there was a night out in a club (not a usual venue for me) for a leaving do. It was a friend of a friend, but I had a good night including meeting a really nice girl - another friend of a friend. If only I were ten years younger... she was really just my type. There have been a few other nights out and there are a few in the near future to look forward to.

In terms of contact from friends, QC1 and QC2 have been very quiet despite some emails from me. I'd like to see them again, so I guess it's something else for the list this week.

So, not a lot has changed and I still have a bit to do over the next few months. It'll keep me busy if nothing else.

A rather large digest. Maybe. Unless I get bored halfway through.

I realise that it's been ages since I last posted anything... almost three weeks, in fact. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, but rather that I've been busy and, for the firs time in my life, stressed out about something.

That something is work. I've been given my own project to do and I'm doing it to the best of my ability (and quite pleased with the results so far) but I'm being let down by people further up the food chain than me, meaning everything is a struggle and there have been more than one sleepless night as a result. Suffice to say, for this reason alone, I haven't posted anything and generally just arrived home from work and have ended up vegging in front of the telly or reading a book in order to try and keep my mind off the horrors of what's happened between 9AM and 5PM.

Secondly, the house is causing grief. The untidy flatmate is still causing grief around here, despite not living here for three months. A recent electricity bill is £50 more than it was this time last year (and there were three of us last year) and the previous bill was, until recently, unpaid. That meant a visit from the electricity company, armed with a court order to gain access to the premises where they fitted a PAYG meter and fucked the front door lock. My flatmate broke his key in it just this evening. This is all going to come back to bite us on the arse when we eventually move out. We're meant to be looking at new places to live tonight on property webistes, but as I type this, I've just heard my flatmate leave the house. I've no idea when he'll be back.

The current flatmate is annoying me with regards this recent electricity bill. He has a habit of having every single light in the house on as much as possible and our recent home "improvements" mean we finally have house lights on the ground floor. Obviously, as a result, this means the current flatmate has all of the lights on when possible, so we've gone from having two (40W) table lamps on during the evening to almost twenty (50W) spots. It doesn't take a genius to recognise that this will use a lot more electricity, but he seems to be looking for other reasons for this spike.

There are a few other things to say, though less annoying (and less interesting) than the above. I've been out and about socially over the past few weeks, which was good fun. M got engaged and has invited me to the wedding later this year. I finally went to my GP about my injury from last year and I've been referred for physiotherapy, so I need to get that started. Then I can get into gear with my fitness and weight loss goal (I want to lose about 28lb before the end of the summer). Finally, the PoF experiment that DSC was running kinda petered out with no results... after about three days when she gave up on it!

I'm amazed I've sat here for the fifteen minutes it's taken me to compose the post and type it out. Things must be pretty bad or pretty good to vent this much in type!

Yay!

I got my laptop back today! Hurrah! I'm not 100% happy as the internal part wasn't actually to blame at all, but the power supply. That's a much cheaper part than £80. The repair guy said that the internal part does look like its on its last legs though, so there's still a potential £80 repair on the horizon.

More work issues.

I did not sleep one second of one minute last night. My recent work issues were still a problem to a certain extent and I simply couldn't stop going over two or three different things in work that were causing me grief.

I've honestly never felt anything like it... my heart was pounding, even reading wasn't any help and I was tossing and turning all night long.

I was up super early this morning and was in work, sorting out as much as I could. I had a quick chat with KfW who suggested I talk to my boss again. It was good advice, so I got a quick word with him when he arrived and we got things sorted again. I was certainly a lot happier after the chat than I was beforehand and was able to get a lot done this afternoon with a little help from some team-mates.

I was, however, fighting sleep all day and I only made it to 5 PM without falling asleep due to large quantities of coffee, Red Bull and other assorted energy drinks. I kept zoning out during the afternoon, I had a splitting headache all day, my eyes were super dry and I kept taking dizzy spells. This was all because of sleep deprivation, I think (though, thinking about it, could have been due to the caffeine). Now I'm home and still trying to stay awake. I need to stay conscious until 10 PM I think so I can get a good night's sleep but not wake up too early.

Roll on the weekend!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

My bloody laptop has died! It looks like it's an internal part and could be about £80 to get fixed. Small price to pay though as it's an excellent laptop, bought at a bargain price.

Work relief.

I approached my boss today to tell him that I was going to perhaps need some help with my current workload. He was OK with that. I guess he was more concerned with being kept in the loop than with my seeming failure to manage the work. It was good to know. My internal reviews have been OK, which is a lot better than I was expecting. It's my first real work in this department and while I'm a little slower than I would like, I'm more concerned about getting it right.

Let's talk stress.

Since the start of the year, I've been feeling somewhat under the weather. I've no idea what it is, it's just a general malaise rather than something specific. The only thing I can think of offhand is that the upheaval over Xmas (and excesses) took it out of me more than I thought. I'm also considering the fact that my current project in work is stressing me more than I realise.

This last bit is concerning me because I've only moved into this new department last summer and everything is still new to me and I don't think I've ever been the type to get stressed easily. I'm surprised myself at the lack of work I've done since then and now I find myself on my first project with a very daunting learning curve and a project that just seems to keep snowballing with every bit of research that I do on it. My only experience thus far is a training course that really only taught me the basics, so this is quite a shock to the system. I want to learn more and projects like this are the best way of learning, but I look at the work that I'm meant to be doing over the next five or six weeks and I get very apprehensive.

I do have support at work, but if I'm being honest, I'd far rather that I wasn't the only person involved in this aspect of the project. Having to ask other people constantly for help take them away from their own work, especially when I will be spending a lot of time in the near future reading over technical manuals and related websites.

The next few months are going to be very tough, professionally speaking.

Dating site dilemma.

I spent a pleasant few hours in the pub last night with DSC. To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to it. I've been feeling a bit lethargic recently and last night sort of caught up with me. Anyway, we adjourned to my local pub and spent a good few hours just chatting... about her and her boyfriend, about CF and her ongoing single status and various other pieces. DSC wanted to talk about my own single status and did suggest that I try dating sites again, but I don't know if I want to put myself through that again. The lack of success of any kind last year really caused me to doubt myself, and that's something I've never done before. However, DSC's point was valid - how else do we meet new people these days?

So, against my better judgement, I have been semi-considering the dating site angle again, but I keep changing my mind, then changing it back a few minutes later. Do I have other options? I really don't know.

Midweek blues.

I'm meeting DSC tonight around half past seven in my local pub. It was her suggestion to meet because we haven't seen each other in a while, but part of me is wondering if there isn't an ulterior motive, especially given her recent dramas with the boyfriend and death of a loved family pet. I'm looking forward to it though... even as an excuse to get out of the house for a few hours.

That's something I want to do - find something to do to get out of the house during week nights. At the moment, my routine is to come home and vegetate in front of a DVD, read a book or sit at the PC for a few hours. I want to do more.

Small world.

I picked up my phone tonight to see a missed text from DSC asking if R3 was engaged. Well, I hadn't heard anything, but a quick scoot across to Facebook confirmed this. Then a quick browse through R3's photos reminded me that I simply have to meet her tall, brunette attractive friend.

We've been meaning to get together for a coffee since last summer. I will simply have to get in contact and make sure we can meet up soon.

As side note on DSC and R3... they've both known each other for years, long before I knew either of them. I believe they went to school together and might have even been friends at one point, but they're not now. R3 is unaware of this, but DSC has some very strong thoughts on the matter, but won't tell me what they are knowing that R3 and I are friends.

A chat.

After sending me the text mentioned in this post, DSC followed up with contact a little later suggesting that we meet up and soon. Her rationale is that we haven't had a good chat in ages. This is partly true. We're in contact all the time, some of it serious, most of it just random banter and teasing.

She must have something serious on her mind that she wants to talk about, so we've pencilled in this Wednesday. DSC suggested a cup of tea at mine, but we're having work done at the moment and I've no idea if it will be finished or not. Suffice to say, this is a post in itself, but even thinking about it right now is really starting to get me angry.

Hah and indeed hah.

Now seemingly over her angst of a few weeks ago, DSC declared yesterday that she was going to have words with a friend of her boyfriend and set me up on a date. Well, fair enough, let's see how that pans out, even though I'm not a big fan of DSC's boyfriend for a fair number of reasons.

It was no surprise then, when I got a text late last night saying that any potential date was off, not because the friend was not interested, but because DSC's boyfriend unequivocally that I would never date his friend.

Interesting? Yes. Amusing? Definitely. Will I ever find out why he's so set against it? I have no idea.

The first contact of the year.

I haven't seen QC2 in ages, so I fired off a quick email today to see if she fancies heading out for a drink some time soon. I hope so. I like QC2 a lot and I really enjoy chatting to her, but she's been extremely unreliable since last summer. I don't mind making arrangements and having to cancel (well, I do, but...), however not even replying to emails or texts is a tad annoying. it's not like her, so I assume that something's up, but the last time this happened, she simply said that she was busy.

While I was at it, I also fired off an email to AM and QC1 to see if they wanted to meet for lunch next week. Let's see what happens.

Back in black.

I have been under the impression that the universe doesn’t want me to get fitter and lose weight. For the past two years, it seems that any time I try and ramp up my exercise routines, some injury comes along and scuppers me for a while. When I go to make a return, something else happens to keep me away from the gym or football pitch for another month or so. So, while I will rarely have the same injury twice in a row, coming back from a twisted knee might mean I then pull my hamstring, for example.

This time, it was no different. I came through an hour’s worth of football last Friday with no serious concerns about my Achilles – just the usual aches and pains from a return to exercise. However, on Sunday, I managed to tweak my back while loading the dishwasher of all things. The pain has been uncomfortable this week, but not excruciating though enough to stop me from playing football last night or even walking home from work. The worrying thing is that I don’t think it’s muscular… I think it might be a disk problem. If that’s the case, then that’s worrying.

COM-PRO-MISE

There’s been another spectacular fail by DSC in her relationship with this idiot she’s been dating since last summer. I have a low opinion of him because of his religious and political views, though any time I’ve met him we’ve gotten along fine. Where I come from, these things are viewed with some importance, but this is getting side-tracked.

Following a night out with the boyfriend, DSC had decided that she needed to see where they stand. She’s long complained about the lack of fun in their relationship. It seems to me that since they started dating, there was no honeymoon period where they had fun and got to know each other, they went straight into full on relationship-mode. Now I think they’re paying the price. DSC has tried to bring this up with her boyfriend time and time again, but it seems that these pleas are falling on deaf ears. If I’m being honest, I think DSC’s boyfriend is getting exactly what he wants from this relationship. It’s DSC who’s not, but while she’s not brace enough to dump him, he doesn’t have an incentive to change.

I’m not a huge fan of women trying to change their partners (or vice-versa, I guess), but there has to be an element of compromise involved and DSC’s boyfriend isn’t doing this and all compromise is coming from DSC’s side.

She was going to dump him on Monday night but, after a chat, they’re still together and, as far as I can see, still trundling along the way the boyfriend wants to, not DSC.

I don’t understand why she continues to hang on in there when it seems to me that it’s making her extremely unhappy. For her own sake, she should get rid, I think.

First impressions.

When I joined the department I currently work for, I managed to continue my run of working alongside extremely attractive women. KfW2 was no exception... tall, brunette, athletic, intelligent, lovely smile and pretty. I'd always been a little concerned because she'd always blanked me during work-related social functions or even passing her in the street. In my mind, we'd always been aware of each other, at least enough to have a nodding acquaintance as we passed in the corridor/street etc.

It was of little surprise that, during a conversation about first impressions this afternoon, that she admitted that she had been very wary of me before she got to know me better. She admitted that she now thought I was great, and I guess I should believe her. It would have been nice to have found out why she had these thoughts about me before we got to know each other, but we were in the middle of work, I was busy and people were listening in.

Some other time, maybe. Perhaps over a drink to loosen the tongue.

Woah!

I wouldn't say I was a huge fan of Kaley Cuoco, but stick her in a superhero outfit and my jaw drops. At least it did a few minutes ago when I saw her in "Big Bang Theory" dressed as Wonder Woman.

Let's talk about food and diets.

While I haven't yet begun my diet reformation, I have been reading up on various things I can incorporate in order to achieve my goal. Alongside the Harris Benedict equation to calculate my calorie intake, I've been reading up on trying to eat smaller meals, but more often. Most articles I've read talk about six smaller meals per day rather than three larger ones.

Also, there are recommendations about how to break down this calorific intake. There appear to be a few schools of thought: 40% carbs, 40% protein and 20% fat or a 40/30/30 split for carbs/proteins and fats.

These same sources also suggest that eating carbs earlier in the day and then swapping onto protein rich meals later is also a good habit to pick up.

Finally, pretty much everyone suggests drinking a lot of water - around 2 litres per day.

These are all ideas I hope to incorporate into my diet regime as time goes on, introducing one at a time so that I'm not making huge changes all at once. That's just a recipe for disaster when big changes are made and you lose enthusiasm because the changes are too great.

Goals Update 2011

I'm already behind in my plans for going on a diet which was due to start tomorrow, but I can make a start at least by being more careful with what I eat and restricting my calories by using the Harris Benedict equation to better plan what I need to eat daily.

This week, I should also be seeing my GP about getting my leg injury sorted, possibly with some physiotherapy, which means I can eventually hit the gym and play football again.

It's a long term thing with my goal to be well on way, if not completed by July. Hopefully a few days won't have too much of an impact on that.

Bleh.

G is home this weekend and I've already managed to get one night out with him (including FP and M) with another lined up for tonight. There's nothing strange or startling to report... nights out with G are like nights out with M - lots of craic without having any huge standout moments. Last night was typical of this and tonight will be more of the same, though we're aiming for a quieter night at a local bar rather than something more substantial in the town centre. This is potentially the last night out for a while with my upcoming diet and fitness plans...

In other news, the supposed experiment with DSC sorting me out with a date via an online dating profile has seemingly bitten the dust due to the death of a family pet. She's taken it pretty hard and says that the last time it happened, she was depressed about it for nearly a year. While I'm a bit disappointed cos I thought it would have been a laugh, I'm more concerned about how this is going to effect DSC as I thought she'd finally gotten her head round this relationship with her boyfriend and was starting to settle into it. I think sometimes she can be a bit flaky and something like this can have a domino effect.

An interesting twist.

Chatting to DSC on MSN today and she said that she was going to write me a profile for a dating website. I laughed, of course, and said that I'd be interested to see what she'd say about me, but I was expecting the next reply, which was that she was going to create an account on a dating website and upload this profile.

"Give me a week," she said, "and you won't know what hit you"

I have to say that I as intrigued, but apprehensive. Let's just say our taste in women is markedly different. DSC accuses me of trying to punch above my weight, of only being attracted to stunning looking women. The women DSC points out as potential dates are rarely women I find physically attractive, but looks are way down DSC's list of important things to consider in a potential date whereas I think they're one of the most important things.

What am I thinking?

In a conversation with DSC earlier today, she asked if I would be getting back on the dating trail this year. I said that I would, but that it wasn't a resolution or anything being out of my control for the most part. Then she asked if I would be joining a dating site again. My reply would have taught sailors some new words and it was, of course, in the negative.

I didn't have to explain to her why this was. DSC knows my "luck" with dating sites and she has no idea why I wasn't getting more attention, much less dates or anything else.

As a counter-argument, I suggested that she might get involved again if this current relationship of hers is as good as over (as she claims), but she says that she needs to take a break from all that, having been dating or in a relationship since she left her husband almost two years ago. DSC did say that she probably would get back into it after a while though as she thinks that's the only way she will meet new people.

The thing that's getting me angry is that I am seriously considering getting back into it through Plenty of Fish or Match in a few weeks once I get settled back to work and get started on the diet/fitness thing. I really didn't get the results I wanted out of either of those sites for the amount of work that I put in, so why am I considering going back?

January Blues

January blues, eh? Rolling off the back of Christmas and New Year and just before a return to work, it starts to get depressing. Coincidentally, it was around this time, eight years ago that I came home from living abroad for my sister's wedding and I never went back out again (due to a lack of funds) and this has always depressed me a little, adding to the seasonal emotional slump.

What I need is to get the ball rolling ASAP on something productive and/or fun, but I just want to chill out and enjoy the last of my holidays. I've been off work for almost two weeks, and yet it doesn't feel like it with the Christmas rush and the issues with the water and heating at the house.

2011 goals.

With 2011 now underway, I guess it’s time to look forward and plan what I want to do this year. 2010 was generally positive – moving job was a main goal and that was achieved, albeit with a bit of help from others. There were a few dalliances with some females including Date No.1 and Near Miss, but I want something more.

The main goal is to get back to fitness. A serious leg injury, while healed, is still causing some pain and I need to get this sorted before I can get back to playing football and keeping fit. As an aside, I want to lose weight, so this new fitness along with a new diet plan (eating more healthily and more intelligently as opposed to a “proper” diet per se) should help this goal, which is not intended to be a quick fix.

There’s also the issue of the house and moving out and preferably ASAP. When the house mate returns from his trip home, I’ll be suggesting we start looking to move immediately... however with a month’s notice to be given, realistically we won’t be moving before the end of February.

Those are my only real goals for this year. There are other little ideas floating around in my head that I’d like to achieve, but nothing serious enough where I want to sit down and plan or indeed anything that I can plan for and achieve – some travelling, finding more fun stuff to do, finish my professional exams, doing some dating with a view to meeting someone. Some of these I can actually do and tick off a list, but something like dating is something that is out of my control.

More drama.

Well, last night was interesting. Firstly, everyone was out at some stage, including KfW, MfW, JB and others. MfW brought along his ex-girlfriend who he’s been fucking on and off since they split in July. MF was already in the pub and slightly the worse for wear. RB wasn’t in attendance as I’d theorised, but a different friend of MF and KfW. I don’t know if I was more disappointed or relieved by that.

When JB turned up, she looked stunning in a red dress. There's certainly a stirring in the loins recently when she's about, but I will re-iterate my guideline about dalliances with co-workers.

Sadly, JB and a few others left before midnight, but I still had a good time and got rather drunk.

For a New Year’s Eve, the bar itself wasn’t particularly busy which was a shame – it’s a good night to be social in pubs - but this didn’t ruin the night.

MfW continued the soap opera by leaving his ex-girlfriend and disappearing, leaving us to pick up the pieces again, but I was lucky enough to miss most of the drama by deciding to leave. It was a stroke of good fortune as we walked out of the pub and immediately hailed a cab.

I’m going to be a mess all of today though.