Zzzz.

This sleep thing is still an issue. As reported before, getting to sleep isn't an issue, but waking at 530 AM and struggling to get back to sleep is an issue.

However, the new mattress does appear to be paying dividends. My back is noticeably less sore than before. I still need to be more active, and that's proving more difficult to motivate myself into. I'd like to both get out of the house more and get back into the yoga. I don't know if that would help the sleep issue, but it's something I should be doing regardless.

Sigh.

I'm in a real funk at the moment. I think a good portion of that is coming from the illness. I'm really low-energy. The illness has sapped me of energy for the past two weeks, I've been in a permanent state of either pain or discomfort and I think that has had an effect on my mental health as well. The illness, fatigue and the resulting loneliness are all coming to a head, I think.

I've already put out feelers to FBS, D etc. for a night out, which will probably happen in April. I'm still keen to get KfW2 out, too, but it's still proving difficult just getting her to talk, never mind arrange something.

Longest week ever!

The work week is only 4 days long, but it feels much longer. As I explained on another forum, it actually doesn't feel like I've had any time off, and I think that's part of the issue with this week feeling like it's not going to end.

My sleep patterns are still all over the place. Thankfully, I've not had one of the insomnia nights this week, but I am either taking longer to fall asleep or waking earlier and can't get back to sleep, so I am tired.

It's the weekend, and I have no plans. And I kinda don't want to be sitting in on my own, but I've no idea who to reach out to.

And off the back of a conversation with FC earlier this week, I probably should get in touch with S and GM and let them know about FP.

y a w n

For the third time in a week, I've had a sleepless night. I went to bed around 11 PM, woke around 130 AM and that was me til this morning.

If I hadn't had to take a trip into town to pick up KfW2's brolly from lost and found, I'd have stayed in bed for a bit. I've got a headache, my eyes hurt and I am so, so tired.

While I can't say that the recent family stuff is at the forefront of my mind during these periods of insomnia, they have to be the main factor. I hope this sorts itself out soon. The New Year is going to be busy.

Yawn

My quality of sleep over the past week or so has been appalling. As such, I feel both mentally and physically drained nearly all the time. I'm planning on taking some annual leave in a week or so, for about a week, and I hope that gives me the opportunity to really rest and recharge.

Yawn.

I've been back at work for two days and despite gradually feeling better, I am also increasingly fatigued. For the past two nights, I've slept for practically 9 hours. I get through to lunchtime and I hit a wall. I don't know if this is a "back to work" thing or the remnants of the Covid/'flu that I had before Xmas.

Shot down.

It's been an eventful weekend that ended with a family BBQ at my sis's to celebrate a milestone birthday. There was alcohol. Lots of alcohol. my brother-in-law's sister insisted that we did shots and somehow managed to arrange for a bottle of Sambuca to be delivered. I'm not lying when I say it lasted about 20 minutes.

She then spent the rest of the evening proclaiming that she was going to find me a woman. I'm not putting anything into it, it was all (or mostly) drunk talk. But it was kinda nice for someone to recognise that I am single.

I think she wanted to have a proper conversation with me, but she was very drunk. I doubt she remembers half of what she said today.

I didn't get back into the house until late, helping my sister clean up, and I had a very early start this morning for work. Suffice to say, I am expecting to really crash hard this afternoon. It's a matter of 'when' not 'if'.

Oh dear.

Ever had "The Fear" after a night of drinking and partying? I haven't... but today I have an overwhelming sense of... something. Something not being right.

I don't know if it's related to the fact that the early morning, work-based phone call yesterday didn't go 100% smoothly (it really shouldn't have an influence), but I still feel like something's just over the horizon that's going to go badly for me.

I'm also kinda burned out (presumably with work, but there could well be a lockdown influence here). And fed up. And while I'm actually saving a bit of money during this pandemic, the fact that Stalky Guy is earning 30% more than me has been niggling at the back of my mind for a few weeks.

Ideally, I'd take a few days off, meet some friends, hit the pub and that would be enough to recharge my batteries and give me a boost again. That's not something that's going to happen any time soon though.

When the pubs do re-open, I already have semi-agreed nights out with KfW2 and FBS/D/Opinionated Guy and Brusque Guy with just the dates to be confirmed. I daresay other nights will be talked about (S, GM etc. for example), so there are things to look forward to.

Oh dear.

There are few things as tiring as waiting around all day, without any control over what's happening. That's what happened late last week. A family member went to A&E after a fainting incident. Nothing serious, but I think they were shaken up. They went at 6 AM, called me soon after, I arrived at 9 AM and I left at 7 PM.

The staff were brilliant - this is not a rant against the NHS - but the waiting around was a killer. By the time we'd arrived, bloods had been taken and were being analysed. A few hours after I arrived, there were x-rays and MRI scans. A few hours later again, we saw a consultant who advised an overnight stay for monitoring (though he had admitted there was nothing in any test so far to be wary of). And it was, again, another few hours before there was a bed available.

By the time I got back home - after 8 PM - I was ready for bed.

It took me a good few days to get that fatigue out of my system.

I like the way you move.

While 5 beers and an reasonably early bedtime should have seen me be OK for today, a 5 AM awakening pretty much made me feel hungover - it's always the tiredness more than anything that gets me.

Still, arriving into work today and Quiet Girl was talking to a guy who sits near me. Her hair was doing that sexy, wavy thing again - she must go to the gym before work or something and not properly dry her hair as she has days like this from time to time and the mildly dishevelled look really suits her in my opinion.

We spoke briefly and she walked away, whereupon I admired her and the way she moved.

There's also talk of a work night out, but Quiet Girl won't be joining us this time - her own team has grown to a size that they have their own night. Saying that, I probably wouldn't have gone anyway - the work situation has dampened my appetite for work socialising with some people.

So, a pleasant, if frustrating start to the day.