Let's talk stress.

Since the start of the year, I've been feeling somewhat under the weather. I've no idea what it is, it's just a general malaise rather than something specific. The only thing I can think of offhand is that the upheaval over Xmas (and excesses) took it out of me more than I thought. I'm also considering the fact that my current project in work is stressing me more than I realise.

This last bit is concerning me because I've only moved into this new department last summer and everything is still new to me and I don't think I've ever been the type to get stressed easily. I'm surprised myself at the lack of work I've done since then and now I find myself on my first project with a very daunting learning curve and a project that just seems to keep snowballing with every bit of research that I do on it. My only experience thus far is a training course that really only taught me the basics, so this is quite a shock to the system. I want to learn more and projects like this are the best way of learning, but I look at the work that I'm meant to be doing over the next five or six weeks and I get very apprehensive.

I do have support at work, but if I'm being honest, I'd far rather that I wasn't the only person involved in this aspect of the project. Having to ask other people constantly for help take them away from their own work, especially when I will be spending a lot of time in the near future reading over technical manuals and related websites.

The next few months are going to be very tough, professionally speaking.

Dating site dilemma.

I spent a pleasant few hours in the pub last night with DSC. To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to it. I've been feeling a bit lethargic recently and last night sort of caught up with me. Anyway, we adjourned to my local pub and spent a good few hours just chatting... about her and her boyfriend, about CF and her ongoing single status and various other pieces. DSC wanted to talk about my own single status and did suggest that I try dating sites again, but I don't know if I want to put myself through that again. The lack of success of any kind last year really caused me to doubt myself, and that's something I've never done before. However, DSC's point was valid - how else do we meet new people these days?

So, against my better judgement, I have been semi-considering the dating site angle again, but I keep changing my mind, then changing it back a few minutes later. Do I have other options? I really don't know.

Midweek blues.

I'm meeting DSC tonight around half past seven in my local pub. It was her suggestion to meet because we haven't seen each other in a while, but part of me is wondering if there isn't an ulterior motive, especially given her recent dramas with the boyfriend and death of a loved family pet. I'm looking forward to it though... even as an excuse to get out of the house for a few hours.

That's something I want to do - find something to do to get out of the house during week nights. At the moment, my routine is to come home and vegetate in front of a DVD, read a book or sit at the PC for a few hours. I want to do more.

Small world.

I picked up my phone tonight to see a missed text from DSC asking if R3 was engaged. Well, I hadn't heard anything, but a quick scoot across to Facebook confirmed this. Then a quick browse through R3's photos reminded me that I simply have to meet her tall, brunette attractive friend.

We've been meaning to get together for a coffee since last summer. I will simply have to get in contact and make sure we can meet up soon.

As side note on DSC and R3... they've both known each other for years, long before I knew either of them. I believe they went to school together and might have even been friends at one point, but they're not now. R3 is unaware of this, but DSC has some very strong thoughts on the matter, but won't tell me what they are knowing that R3 and I are friends.

A chat.

After sending me the text mentioned in this post, DSC followed up with contact a little later suggesting that we meet up and soon. Her rationale is that we haven't had a good chat in ages. This is partly true. We're in contact all the time, some of it serious, most of it just random banter and teasing.

She must have something serious on her mind that she wants to talk about, so we've pencilled in this Wednesday. DSC suggested a cup of tea at mine, but we're having work done at the moment and I've no idea if it will be finished or not. Suffice to say, this is a post in itself, but even thinking about it right now is really starting to get me angry.

Hah and indeed hah.

Now seemingly over her angst of a few weeks ago, DSC declared yesterday that she was going to have words with a friend of her boyfriend and set me up on a date. Well, fair enough, let's see how that pans out, even though I'm not a big fan of DSC's boyfriend for a fair number of reasons.

It was no surprise then, when I got a text late last night saying that any potential date was off, not because the friend was not interested, but because DSC's boyfriend unequivocally that I would never date his friend.

Interesting? Yes. Amusing? Definitely. Will I ever find out why he's so set against it? I have no idea.

The first contact of the year.

I haven't seen QC2 in ages, so I fired off a quick email today to see if she fancies heading out for a drink some time soon. I hope so. I like QC2 a lot and I really enjoy chatting to her, but she's been extremely unreliable since last summer. I don't mind making arrangements and having to cancel (well, I do, but...), however not even replying to emails or texts is a tad annoying. it's not like her, so I assume that something's up, but the last time this happened, she simply said that she was busy.

While I was at it, I also fired off an email to AM and QC1 to see if they wanted to meet for lunch next week. Let's see what happens.

Back in black.

I have been under the impression that the universe doesn’t want me to get fitter and lose weight. For the past two years, it seems that any time I try and ramp up my exercise routines, some injury comes along and scuppers me for a while. When I go to make a return, something else happens to keep me away from the gym or football pitch for another month or so. So, while I will rarely have the same injury twice in a row, coming back from a twisted knee might mean I then pull my hamstring, for example.

This time, it was no different. I came through an hour’s worth of football last Friday with no serious concerns about my Achilles – just the usual aches and pains from a return to exercise. However, on Sunday, I managed to tweak my back while loading the dishwasher of all things. The pain has been uncomfortable this week, but not excruciating though enough to stop me from playing football last night or even walking home from work. The worrying thing is that I don’t think it’s muscular… I think it might be a disk problem. If that’s the case, then that’s worrying.

COM-PRO-MISE

There’s been another spectacular fail by DSC in her relationship with this idiot she’s been dating since last summer. I have a low opinion of him because of his religious and political views, though any time I’ve met him we’ve gotten along fine. Where I come from, these things are viewed with some importance, but this is getting side-tracked.

Following a night out with the boyfriend, DSC had decided that she needed to see where they stand. She’s long complained about the lack of fun in their relationship. It seems to me that since they started dating, there was no honeymoon period where they had fun and got to know each other, they went straight into full on relationship-mode. Now I think they’re paying the price. DSC has tried to bring this up with her boyfriend time and time again, but it seems that these pleas are falling on deaf ears. If I’m being honest, I think DSC’s boyfriend is getting exactly what he wants from this relationship. It’s DSC who’s not, but while she’s not brace enough to dump him, he doesn’t have an incentive to change.

I’m not a huge fan of women trying to change their partners (or vice-versa, I guess), but there has to be an element of compromise involved and DSC’s boyfriend isn’t doing this and all compromise is coming from DSC’s side.

She was going to dump him on Monday night but, after a chat, they’re still together and, as far as I can see, still trundling along the way the boyfriend wants to, not DSC.

I don’t understand why she continues to hang on in there when it seems to me that it’s making her extremely unhappy. For her own sake, she should get rid, I think.

First impressions.

When I joined the department I currently work for, I managed to continue my run of working alongside extremely attractive women. KfW2 was no exception... tall, brunette, athletic, intelligent, lovely smile and pretty. I'd always been a little concerned because she'd always blanked me during work-related social functions or even passing her in the street. In my mind, we'd always been aware of each other, at least enough to have a nodding acquaintance as we passed in the corridor/street etc.

It was of little surprise that, during a conversation about first impressions this afternoon, that she admitted that she had been very wary of me before she got to know me better. She admitted that she now thought I was great, and I guess I should believe her. It would have been nice to have found out why she had these thoughts about me before we got to know each other, but we were in the middle of work, I was busy and people were listening in.

Some other time, maybe. Perhaps over a drink to loosen the tongue.

Woah!

I wouldn't say I was a huge fan of Kaley Cuoco, but stick her in a superhero outfit and my jaw drops. At least it did a few minutes ago when I saw her in "Big Bang Theory" dressed as Wonder Woman.

Let's talk about food and diets.

While I haven't yet begun my diet reformation, I have been reading up on various things I can incorporate in order to achieve my goal. Alongside the Harris Benedict equation to calculate my calorie intake, I've been reading up on trying to eat smaller meals, but more often. Most articles I've read talk about six smaller meals per day rather than three larger ones.

Also, there are recommendations about how to break down this calorific intake. There appear to be a few schools of thought: 40% carbs, 40% protein and 20% fat or a 40/30/30 split for carbs/proteins and fats.

These same sources also suggest that eating carbs earlier in the day and then swapping onto protein rich meals later is also a good habit to pick up.

Finally, pretty much everyone suggests drinking a lot of water - around 2 litres per day.

These are all ideas I hope to incorporate into my diet regime as time goes on, introducing one at a time so that I'm not making huge changes all at once. That's just a recipe for disaster when big changes are made and you lose enthusiasm because the changes are too great.

Goals Update 2011

I'm already behind in my plans for going on a diet which was due to start tomorrow, but I can make a start at least by being more careful with what I eat and restricting my calories by using the Harris Benedict equation to better plan what I need to eat daily.

This week, I should also be seeing my GP about getting my leg injury sorted, possibly with some physiotherapy, which means I can eventually hit the gym and play football again.

It's a long term thing with my goal to be well on way, if not completed by July. Hopefully a few days won't have too much of an impact on that.

Bleh.

G is home this weekend and I've already managed to get one night out with him (including FP and M) with another lined up for tonight. There's nothing strange or startling to report... nights out with G are like nights out with M - lots of craic without having any huge standout moments. Last night was typical of this and tonight will be more of the same, though we're aiming for a quieter night at a local bar rather than something more substantial in the town centre. This is potentially the last night out for a while with my upcoming diet and fitness plans...

In other news, the supposed experiment with DSC sorting me out with a date via an online dating profile has seemingly bitten the dust due to the death of a family pet. She's taken it pretty hard and says that the last time it happened, she was depressed about it for nearly a year. While I'm a bit disappointed cos I thought it would have been a laugh, I'm more concerned about how this is going to effect DSC as I thought she'd finally gotten her head round this relationship with her boyfriend and was starting to settle into it. I think sometimes she can be a bit flaky and something like this can have a domino effect.

An interesting twist.

Chatting to DSC on MSN today and she said that she was going to write me a profile for a dating website. I laughed, of course, and said that I'd be interested to see what she'd say about me, but I was expecting the next reply, which was that she was going to create an account on a dating website and upload this profile.

"Give me a week," she said, "and you won't know what hit you"

I have to say that I as intrigued, but apprehensive. Let's just say our taste in women is markedly different. DSC accuses me of trying to punch above my weight, of only being attracted to stunning looking women. The women DSC points out as potential dates are rarely women I find physically attractive, but looks are way down DSC's list of important things to consider in a potential date whereas I think they're one of the most important things.

What am I thinking?

In a conversation with DSC earlier today, she asked if I would be getting back on the dating trail this year. I said that I would, but that it wasn't a resolution or anything being out of my control for the most part. Then she asked if I would be joining a dating site again. My reply would have taught sailors some new words and it was, of course, in the negative.

I didn't have to explain to her why this was. DSC knows my "luck" with dating sites and she has no idea why I wasn't getting more attention, much less dates or anything else.

As a counter-argument, I suggested that she might get involved again if this current relationship of hers is as good as over (as she claims), but she says that she needs to take a break from all that, having been dating or in a relationship since she left her husband almost two years ago. DSC did say that she probably would get back into it after a while though as she thinks that's the only way she will meet new people.

The thing that's getting me angry is that I am seriously considering getting back into it through Plenty of Fish or Match in a few weeks once I get settled back to work and get started on the diet/fitness thing. I really didn't get the results I wanted out of either of those sites for the amount of work that I put in, so why am I considering going back?

January Blues

January blues, eh? Rolling off the back of Christmas and New Year and just before a return to work, it starts to get depressing. Coincidentally, it was around this time, eight years ago that I came home from living abroad for my sister's wedding and I never went back out again (due to a lack of funds) and this has always depressed me a little, adding to the seasonal emotional slump.

What I need is to get the ball rolling ASAP on something productive and/or fun, but I just want to chill out and enjoy the last of my holidays. I've been off work for almost two weeks, and yet it doesn't feel like it with the Christmas rush and the issues with the water and heating at the house.

2011 goals.

With 2011 now underway, I guess it’s time to look forward and plan what I want to do this year. 2010 was generally positive – moving job was a main goal and that was achieved, albeit with a bit of help from others. There were a few dalliances with some females including Date No.1 and Near Miss, but I want something more.

The main goal is to get back to fitness. A serious leg injury, while healed, is still causing some pain and I need to get this sorted before I can get back to playing football and keeping fit. As an aside, I want to lose weight, so this new fitness along with a new diet plan (eating more healthily and more intelligently as opposed to a “proper” diet per se) should help this goal, which is not intended to be a quick fix.

There’s also the issue of the house and moving out and preferably ASAP. When the house mate returns from his trip home, I’ll be suggesting we start looking to move immediately... however with a month’s notice to be given, realistically we won’t be moving before the end of February.

Those are my only real goals for this year. There are other little ideas floating around in my head that I’d like to achieve, but nothing serious enough where I want to sit down and plan or indeed anything that I can plan for and achieve – some travelling, finding more fun stuff to do, finish my professional exams, doing some dating with a view to meeting someone. Some of these I can actually do and tick off a list, but something like dating is something that is out of my control.

More drama.

Well, last night was interesting. Firstly, everyone was out at some stage, including KfW, MfW, JB and others. MfW brought along his ex-girlfriend who he’s been fucking on and off since they split in July. MF was already in the pub and slightly the worse for wear. RB wasn’t in attendance as I’d theorised, but a different friend of MF and KfW. I don’t know if I was more disappointed or relieved by that.

When JB turned up, she looked stunning in a red dress. There's certainly a stirring in the loins recently when she's about, but I will re-iterate my guideline about dalliances with co-workers.

Sadly, JB and a few others left before midnight, but I still had a good time and got rather drunk.

For a New Year’s Eve, the bar itself wasn’t particularly busy which was a shame – it’s a good night to be social in pubs - but this didn’t ruin the night.

MfW continued the soap opera by leaving his ex-girlfriend and disappearing, leaving us to pick up the pieces again, but I was lucky enough to miss most of the drama by deciding to leave. It was a stroke of good fortune as we walked out of the pub and immediately hailed a cab.

I’m going to be a mess all of today though.