Ch-ch-changes.

Before, meeting up with E would mean getting a substantial lunch, heading to a local bar for a few hours of pool, pizza for dinner and then to a local bar for its comedy night, all the while keeping a close eye on E's cleavage, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and maybe having a bit of a perv at her sister if she came out.

Nowadays, it's pizza for lunch, a leisurely stroll around town, playing with E's daughter, internally bemoaning what breastfeeding can do to a good cleavage and then heading home after a couple of hours.

It was great seeing E again, just a little disappointed that we only had a couple of hours together.

Still... she surprised me by telling me that her and her sister would be around tomorrow night. I'm meant to be out with GM and FP, so I might be able to arrange for everyone to meet up. I even suggested to E that we might keep an eye out for some chemistry between E's sister and GM. I doubt anything will happen, but you never know. I have had conversations with E's sister in the past about how she's gagging for a fuck. She's still single, so I doubt that's changed.

Oh dear.

GM sent a text yesterday. Did I fancy meeting him and his friend for a drink? There was an undercurrent of something I didn't really get, but GM's good company and I've been trying to get him out for age. Also, his friend is someone I've met a few times, we get along pretty well and she's quite cute.

I am trying to lay off the midweek drinking while my fitness regime is ongoing, but this sounded more than just a social drink.

I was right - it wasn't long after I arrived and GM's friend has gone to the bar that he confided that he'd recently split up with his girlfriend. It was his call - he enjoyed her company, but he didn't miss her when they were apart (it was a long-distance thing). There's more to it than this though, I think. He was talking about his current lethargy, he's very hard on himself about the breakup even though it was probably the right thing and he's really disappointed that he's hurt the girl involved.

I'm meant to be meeting FP on Saturday, but I invited GM out as well. He actually seemed pretty keen, so the entire online dating chat plus GB-related frustration might actually, finally, be aired.

Oooooooh! *dances*

I'm very excited this week - I'm due to be meeting with E at the end of the week and follow that immediately by going to the monthly work thing with KfW2 (though she'll only be out for a few hours). I had hoped to get CH out given her recent absence, but she's got a busy social schedule over the next few weeks.

I also made tentative arrangements to get KfW2 out for a more social lunch sometime over the next four or five weeks outside of working hours. That's something else to look forward to.

Another blast from the past.

I've just realised that today is/would have been my anniversary with FA2. We actually had a bit of a joke around it. We had gone out on a proper date the night before - our first actually - though we had been out socially before and ended up hooking up. We ended up back at hers that night and slept together, but the next morning FA2 initiated a conversation about actually dating before we had sex again.

I'd always said that our anniversary was the moment we had the conversation rather than the actual date itself, but FA2 disagreed and any time it was mentioned, it usually ended in some good natured 'arguing'.

That is, until our actual first anniversary when I gave her flowers and a present and booked her favourite restaurant on the day I consider to be our anniversary.

She had been moody the night before and I kinda knew why, but I wasn't making any reference to it. I wanted her to let me know. When I handed over the flowers etc. she was very grateful, but something was still bothering her.

It was later when we were getting ready to go out that she got irritable. I'd missed the date, she said. I didn't care, she said.

I told her that I'd gotten all the gifts for the day we officially started dating, especially given the courting period where it was not really dating, just hooking up a few times.

She reiterated the claim that I didn't care. I told her that she was wrong and that I was disappointed that she hadn't made any effort herself. I didn't even get a card that year, not even on the day she considered to be the actual anniversary.

She calmed down an hour or so later just as we were leaving for the restaurant and patched things up quickly after that, but it always bugged me that it was me who made more effort during big holidays and milestone dates rather than her... especially given how the relationship ended and her justification for what happened.

Ah well.

Despite giving up on online dating at the end of last month, I never deleted Tinder from my phone. I don't know why - it's not that I was getting anywhere with that either, despite the simple concept (yes or no based on photos and one you both say "yes", then a conversation can start).

I've had a few mutual matches, all of whom have deleted their profiles within a day of us being matched. There's one outstanding match left, matched on 5th May, but I'm really not feeling any desire to start a conversation really. Not one person has seemingly said yes to me after I've said yes to them and I've viewed probably about a hundred profiles.

So when that kinda hit me yesterday, I got a bit funked again.

That then reminded me that I was still a bit disappointed in a lack of sympathy from KfW2 and that I hadn't managed to tie her down for a conversation about it.

Then (and perhaps because of that reminder), we ended up angry at each other - me, because she was taking too much time to do silly stuff and pushing lunchtime to the limit and her because I was angry at her.

I stand by my loss of temper - far too often KfW2 calls the shots regarding times - coffee breaks, the time we go for lunch etc. She typically wants to eat around 1PM, so that's the time we tend to go for lunch. Any deviation on this is her idea 95% of the time. Any time I suggest an early lunch, for example, is usually rebuffed or she'll agree then get caught up in something that manages to magically get resolved at 1PM.

I ended up going for lunch by myself, but the bad mood passed quickly and we were on speaking terms b y the time work had to be resumed and we were back to normal by today. It's the first time since we've been friends that a proper argument was close to breaking out, though.

And then, last night, I saw a girl on Tinder. She might have been on one of the dating sites - her face was very familiar (and she was stunning). Of course, I swiped "yes", but I can easily do that... I know that no-one's going to swipe "yes" back.

It didn't stop me from telling USHW about her though and making lots of drooling comments.

Urgh.

The social gathering with GM, S and others has been and gone and it was a brilliant night out, but I'm still paying the price for it a little. CH wasn't able to make it due to a prior engagement running on longer than it should have. It was a shame... GM's new girlfriend was really looking forward to meeting her (I think GM and myself have both talked CH up a bit) and I'm still intrigued by CH's behaviour on nights out, though she wouldn't have been drinking this time around and I was extremely drunk.

I've really warmed to GM's new girlfriend - we've only met a few times, but we get on like a house on fire. It's a pity she's not more local - not simply because new friends are good, but because it's increasingly harder to get GM out as he's spending all his money and time visiting her.

There's nothing else on the horizon, socially. Perhaps a work thing in a couple of weeks, but that's it as far as I can tell until July. Maybe that will keep me out of the pub and hopefully kick on my fitness goals project which is making slow but steady progress.

Ssshhhh.

I know that I've been a little quiet here of late. Part of that has been the fallout from the online dating thing which has very definitely left me a little deflated. I've also been blogging (elsewhere) about my health/fitness kick which is into its fifth week. Things are moving forwards, but not as quickly as I would like given the dietary and exercise changes that I've made to my life.

I've a thing to go to at the weekend with S, GM and CH amongst others that should be a good laugh, otherwise, there's not much happening socially.

Part of me is quite glad - laying off the booze might help the fitness goals thing take a few more steps foward, but the lonely part of me wants more to happen so I'm not stuck on my own all weekend.

FFS.

"We're going out later... and GM is coming too. Are you up for it?" read S's text on Saturday evening.

I'd been out the night before and was feeling quite lethargic, but I replied in the positive.

So, I roused myself from the sofa, made my dinner, showered and made myself presentable. I was in no hurry... S and his cronies don't usually head out 'til after 9:30 or so... and it can be as late as 10:30.

When I was still sat in my room watching Beverly Hills Cop at 11PM, I knew he'd forgotten about me, but I wasn't chasing him up. I'm pig-headed that way.

It was Sunday afternoon before he realised what he'd done... and that was only because I was in touch with him about next weekend's arrangements. He rationalised it that I wouldn't have gone out - they'd hit a club that I don't particularly like.

"That's not the point." I replied. "I was waiting for a call, that you promised and instead you just forget about me."

"I don't mind that you ended up going where you did, even though you invited me out. I do mind that you weren't in touch and that this is about the sixth time it happened."

He went quiet for a long time and then replied hours later about our arrangements for next weekend and hasn't mentioned the lack of phone call since.

Oh, hello...

I've been watching new comedy Brooklyn Nine Nine while it's been on here in the UK. It's not bad, but this woman is in it

Melissa Fumero is her name and she's lovely.

Once upon a time

For reasons that I can't quite explain, RB popped into my head yesterday. That started me "reminiscing" about the two nights/dates we'd had (nearly six years ago!) and that, in turn, got me amazingly horny and frustrated. A state of mind that lasted pretty much all day.

So, this morning, in a semi-hungover and horny state, I went Facebook stalking.

She's still pretty and seemingly in a relationship.

Undoubtedly still an absolute mentalist as well though.

Weird.

It's strange how these things happen... I was bemoaning the lack of conversation with KfW2 and was going to try and have the same conversation with GM about my funk. Lo and behold, as I was telling KfW2 about GM, we got onto the subject of online dating and my funk.

We covered some of the conversation that I had with GM, specifically his success which was only marginally better than mine over a longer time period, and I'd said that I had taken it personally again. KfW2 re-iterated a point she made about her own husband's experiences that mirrored GM's to a certain extent.

KfW2 suggested that I was going after the wrong women.  I don't know exactly what she means and I didn't get a chance to clarify that point, though she did follow up with a question about whether or not the dating sites matched me with people with similar interests (they do, obviously). That might have been her point. I messaged women who I thought were cute (unless their profile was really bad), or were borderline cute with good profiles. Anyone who really didn't float my boat in pictures or profiles were not contacted. I can't help who I find cute and who I don't.

What was disappointing was that I didn't feel that there was too much in the way of sympathy coming from KfW2... maybe we're still not finished talking about it (I hope not, I think there are still some things to say), but I did warn her what the fallout would be if I went through with online dating.

Sigh again.

I was out last night with GM and his new woman. I have to say that I really like her. It was actually her invitation through Facebook rather than GM's and we went out to my favourite bar (something that we'd talked about when I first met her a few months ago).

I was looking forward to seeing GM, despite the age difference between us (a smidgen over ten years), we have extremely similar views on all manner of things. I wanted to talk him through the online dating thing and specifically talk about my funk. It hasn't gone away entirely and has been niggling at me at the back of my mind ever since I closed my online dating accounts at the end of April.

We only briefly touched on the subject though - there were lots of people out and GM had to meet his girlfriend's friends. GM said something that surprised me - he'd done online dating for a year and only gotten two dates from it and they were, to directly quote him, "the most awful dates I've ever had".

I didn't get to chat to him about my ongoing/recurring CB frustration, that our paths had crossed, once again, on Match.com or about any of the other half-dozen or so women that really stood out but didn't reply to my messages. CB was mentioned though, simply because there was a girl sitting at a table next to us who looked very much like her. She was constantly surrounded by blokes and by the end of the night neither myself, GM or his girlfriend identified if she was single or not.

So, despite have a great time last night, I still awoke this morning in a bit of a funk. It got worse when I was surfing a property website, doing some rough research for this time next year, when I saw a familiar property - the house FA2 owned when we started dating. It just reminded me of the early days of our relationship - it was the house she lived in when we started dating.

Double whammy - it would be perfect for me - great area, local conveniences, bus routes ,requires practically no work etc. but I'm not in a position to buy until the middle of 2015 (unless I win the lottery).

I think I will try and get GM out this week, if only for a coffee or something. I need to talk to someone about this online dating funk...