Working the core.

D prompted FBS for some dates where we could go out, but it transpires that she's not available until the start of July, with travel plans and family commitments.

I messaged D separately and suggested if he wanted to meet for drinks, seeing as he's in town, I'd be more than happy to meet up. He said that Friction Guy was going to the same day time thing that D was, so there's a real possibility that he could also tag along.

Out of all of us who worked in the same place all those years ago: me, D, FBS, Friction Guy, QC2 and Opinionated Guy, I'd say that me, D and Friction Guy would be the core group (from my perspective). It'd be nice to head out, just the three of us. It must be 20 years since that happened.

Let's go!

D's just sent a message. Do we want to meet for drinks at the end of next month? I've checked my diary and I've got nothing on, so I've replied that I'd be interested.

Oh dear.

For the first time in ages, probably since before Covid, D was in contact about a Superbowl party at his house. Party is probably too strong a word for it - a gathering of a few people with lots of snacks and some beers.

Ordinarily, I'd be all over that, even if Opinionated Guy is going to be there. But I'm doing KfW2 a favour which means I need to be in the house at the weekend. 

Woohoo!

The chair is on its way! I'm hoping for a Friday delivery. I'm out all day tomorrow, firstly for a work thing, then for a gig where I'm likely to meet D and Opinionated Guy. So Friday would be prefect.

Yay!

I'm not gonna lie, I was slightly apprehensive about meeting FBS, D etc. last night. It was the pub thing, more accurately, the alcohol intake. My tolerance is pretty much zero these days, so the thought of six hours of necking pints had me a little worried.

It was all for nothing, though. Seven pints across nearly six hours meant I was drunk but not as bad a I thought I was going to be.

It was great catching up with the guys. The highlights, for want of a better word, was a running gag that lasted all evening about a euphemism for blowjobs, much to our amusement and FBS's puzzlement. And a debate (I hesitate to call it an argument) with Opinionated Guy who insisted he share our taxi, despite him living in the opposite direction to myself and FBS. He's shared before, because FBS is too nice to tell him to fuck off, but it was my taxi last night and I had no hesitation in telling him where to go.

I hope he'll learn this in future. It feels like we do all the work for him - arrange nights out, get him home etc. and he does nothing.

Let's go.

I hadn't heard from D, FBs etc. about this coming weekend so I sent a WhatsApp message to make sure we were all still coming out. FBS and D were quick to reply, in the positive. I've heard nothing from Friction Guy or Opinionated Guy as yet, but they're secondary. If it just turns out to be me, FBS and D, that'll still be a good night.

This is the day.

It's a day of anniversaries. 33 years ago, I started a new job that introduced me to QC2 (and later Friction Guy, FBS and Opinionated Guy).

But the actual reason for this post is that today is the 20th anniversary of me meeting USHW in person for the first time. If memory serves me correctly, it was around this time, too: half past four on a warm, sunny Friday evening outside Notting Hill Gate tube station. I wouldn't say that this is where our friendship began... we'd already been communicating on MSN Messenger (remember that?) for about six months and USHW had been prising more and more personal information out of me.

I knew she was doing it, of course. She was never subtle about it nor did she claim to be. But my various online presences and personae all had one thing in common - I rarely gave anything away about myself beyond some basic facts. I was renowned for being enigmatic. So I think she rather viewed it as a challenge.

We've only met twice, which is something I've always been really disappointed in, but there were extenuating circumstances that prevented me from pursuing more.

In fact, we were sharing a bed the first time we met. We were definitely friends at this point. And, actually, we're not that far away from the tenth anniversary of our second/last meeting, too.

Anyway... I thought the date was worth mentioning. USHW and I don't communicate that frequently any more, and I do miss her and think of her regularly. For a long time, she was a very dear friend, an outlet and probably the person who knew me (knows me) better than anyone on the planet, including FP and KfW2. Nothing was off-limits in our conversations, and I know that people say that, but in this case it was true. I think people who know me might be shocked at how open I was and the conversations we'd had.

I know she still passes by the blog regularly so Happy Meeting In Person Anniversary, USHW!

Let's not go.

Well, that lasted long. FBS reached out to Opinionated Guy who can't make the proposed dates, so we're back to square one. I suggested to the group that they arrange a night without me and we can do another one after Christmas.

I'm kinda dialling back stuff between now and December. I'm trying to put something in place, that I don't want to talk about right this minute, but if it comes off, then my availability is going to be limited, socially.

Saying that, there's still a work thing at the end of the month, and G has already hinted at a visit in the middle of November. It's pointless mentioning KfW2 at this stage. As I've repeatedly said, it's been nothing but trouble... Maybe trouble is the wrong word, but it feels like a pointless exercise. I ask her to name a date, she goes quiet, rinse and repeat.

Sigh.

Last night's night out with D, FBS etc. was very enjoyable. Opinionated Guy only showed briefly and I think the night was more enjoyable for it. I can take or leave him, but I think both D and Friction Guy actively dislike him. He's not part of our WhatsApp group, but that's his choice. FBS keeps him informed when we're arranging a night out.

I got a couple of great hugs off FBS, the first when we met and the second when the conversation turned to me and I shared the stuff that's been going on since last August. FBS was straight in for a hug.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I woke this morning with FBS on my mind. Specifically the period when we were hooking up. We did a lot of hugging and cuddling in the  lead up to us fucking for the first time, but it was the hugging and cuddling that was on my mind when I woke.

I really am touch starved.

Going out out.

Today was a day in the office. Nothing to report apart from bumping into D on my way home. We were going in different directions so we only got a few seconds to talk. Our night out is arranged with Friction Guy, D, FBS and presumably Opinionated Guy. It's two weeks tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.

I've not heard back from M. I'll probably have to take the lead on that one as well. A job for tomorrow, I think.

And getting a conversation with KfW2 is becoming increasingly more frustrating. I have, at least, spoken to her more recently than CC has.

Bailed.

Within the last week, I've "bailed" on Nerdy Girl, twice. Bailed in quotes. The first time was last weekend. She was out for her birthday with at least one other friend. However, it was also my niece's birthday, so that was out, immediately. So not really bailed, per se.

I was also meant to be out tonight. Nerdy Girl is leaving her current job and tonight was her leaving party. Even though we don't work for the same company any more, and haven't done for about 4 years, she invited me out.

I actually turned up at the bar, though. I did a quick lap and I couldn't find her. There was one corner where she might have been, but I would have needed to climb over people to see. I also could have called her but my social anxiety was in overdrive, so I went for least resistance. I think that was partly tiredness related. I got about three hours of sleep last night. I've had a splitting headache all day, which is never a good sign for me.

I decided that I'd get a pint, and hang about for however long it took me to drink it. If I hadn't spotted her or someone I knew by the time I'd finished, then I'd leave.

And that's what happened. I'm literally just in through the door. I'm fully expecting NG to call or text within the hour to see why I never showed up, so that's a chat I get to have. She does kinda know about my social anxiety, but I reckon, like KfW2, she never processes the extent to which it cripples me.

And it usually gets worse if I am feeling under the weather. Which I am.

To be honest, even if I had spotted Nerdy Girl, chances are I'd have been rubbish company. The tiredness and social anxiety would have made me really quiet. And I know for a fact that KfW2 can't deal with me like that. I don't know if NG can.

Plus, I'm out with FBS, D, Friction Guy and Opinionated Guy tomorrow. I want to be in better shape for that.

I am angry at myself for bailing on NG. But I am also about ten minutes away from falling asleep.

Out out.

It was a relatively quiet night last night. We moved on quickly from our starting pub because of a loud guitarist. It's a plague in my hometown at the moment. Barely competent guitarists playing pretty much the same songs, albeit far too loud. When you're in a bar that holds, at best, forty people, the last thing you need is someone drowning out all other noise.

It's got a great vibe ordinarily, but this was awful.

While we found seats easily, we could barely hear each other speak. So, we before we'd even finished out first drinks, we decided to try a new bar. It wasn't bad but didn't have the same vibe as the one we'd left.

Regardless... it was still a good night out. Am really tired today though.

Plans.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow night. It's a night out with D, FBS and Friction Guy. No word on whether Opinionated Guy is showing up. For some reason, he's not in the WhatsApp group and refuses to join. But it'll be good to see the rest of them. Plus, I do enjoy a night in the pub.

Sigh.

I spent last night in two WhatsApp conversations. One with D, FBS etc. and the other with old teammates in my current workplace, including KfW2. The aim was to arrange some socialising.

I partly succeeded. I've tentatively booked a date with D, FBS and Friction Guy for the start of October.

The group with KfW2 is another matter. We were originally meant to go out last December, and even had a day agreed and booked... until Covid Omicron came along, whereupon we decided as a group to cancel, for obvious reasons.

It's frustrating because it's so much work, and yet while everyone wants to meet up, the expectation is that I drive the arrangements with almost zero support. And by support, I don't necessarily mean help, but even just a willingness to suggest dates or venues. I'm getting nothing.

Sigh.

Tactically tactile.

D arrived at my place, around mid-afternoon. I'd just finished work, so he threw his stuff into the spare room and we chatted for a bit before heading to the pub to meet with the rest of the group. Opinionated Guy surprised us all by arriving almost on time. Usually, he's hours late. While I don't dislike him the way that Friction Guy does, I do find him hard to talk to. It's the "opinionated" thing. It's rarely a conversation and more that you're being talked at.

Regardless, I was more interested in FBS turning up. I've definitely posted before that FBS and I have a history. I think I've also posted that she's been very tactile with me. It's probably not as bad as it was with CH in terms of crossing boundaries, but I do think there's something there. So, I was planning on trying to figure out if that was the case or if I was just imagining the whole thing.

When she did arrive, shortly after D and I had ordered drinks, she sat on a stool beside D. She didn't seem to be tactile with D at all. About 30 minutes later, Opinionated Guy arrived. I still didn't see FBS being tactile. Finally, after another 30 minutes, Friction Guy arrived. My surveillance continued, but I didn't see FBS be tactile at all. Between the three guys, there was barely any physical interaction.

After a few hours of drinking, going to the bar, trips to the toilets, etc. the seating arrangements had changed and I found myself sitting beside FBS. Now, obviously, there are caveats; the main one being that we were all quite drunk by this stage. But FBS was more tactile with me. There wasn't anything untoward this time out, but she definitely initiated more physical contact with me than with any of the other guys.

Though when we were sharing a taxi back home with D, she did lay her head on my shoulder. Certainly, that was the most intimate she'd been all night. I did ask her to come in for a drink, but she refused. Not that anything would have happened.

So, still somewhat inconclusive from my perspective.

Hello again.

I'm heading out on Friday night with Friction Guy, D, FBS and possible Opinionated Guy. It's the first time I've seen them in over 2 years, when we'd usually see each other a couple of times per year. I'm really looking forward to it, though not the hangover on Saturday. 

D's staying over as well, so there goes my lie-in.

Time flies.

Today marks the thirtieth anniversary of meeting QC2 for the first time. We started work together, in the same induction group and the same team, though it would be a while before we became proper friends.

I also worked with FBS, D, Friction Guy and Opinionated Guy in the same office, but while I share a longer history with D and Opinionated Guy, it would be a while before our paths crossed to any significant levels.

And I've said it before, I do miss my irregular meetings with QC2 and I often think fondly back to the nights out where it was her, me and Friction Guy. I do wonder from time to time why she decided to cut contact. I don't think it's anything I did or said, I'm convinced there were other reasons. Possibly related to the child theory of mine.

Regardless, happy anniversary QC2.

Cheers!

I have an upcoming anniversary (I'll post about that later) that prompted the thought that it's been ages since I saw D, FBS, Friction Guy or Opinionated Guy. So I sent a message to the WhatsApp group, suggesting we meet for drinks.

Neither Opinionated Guy nor Friction Guy replied (to be fair, Opinionated Guy isn't part of the chat - he refused to use WhatsApp), but we at least have a tentative plan in place... for the end of May. That's ages away, but I am already looking forward to it.

Plans

In a conversation with a friend today, he was celebrating the fact that, when lockdown is over, groups of up to four will be able to visit the pub again. He was gloating because he hasn't been in the pub since late summer.

I countered that with a date in mid-March. That was the last time I was in the pub and I explained that I was frustrated because my early Spring months had been looking great from a social perspective.

Between mid-March and the end of April there were tentative plans for a few nights out with FP, at least one night out with The Crowd, a night out with FBS, D, Friction Guy and my long-awaited night out with KfW2.

Actually, the dates hadn't even been discussed with KfW2 about that night out, but when she talked about it (and she had mentioned in a few times in the lead up to the lockdown), she was suggesting it would be sooner rather than later.

Sigh. I miss those guys.

Oh dear.

Ever had "The Fear" after a night of drinking and partying? I haven't... but today I have an overwhelming sense of... something. Something not being right.

I don't know if it's related to the fact that the early morning, work-based phone call yesterday didn't go 100% smoothly (it really shouldn't have an influence), but I still feel like something's just over the horizon that's going to go badly for me.

I'm also kinda burned out (presumably with work, but there could well be a lockdown influence here). And fed up. And while I'm actually saving a bit of money during this pandemic, the fact that Stalky Guy is earning 30% more than me has been niggling at the back of my mind for a few weeks.

Ideally, I'd take a few days off, meet some friends, hit the pub and that would be enough to recharge my batteries and give me a boost again. That's not something that's going to happen any time soon though.

When the pubs do re-open, I already have semi-agreed nights out with KfW2 and FBS/D/Opinionated Guy and Brusque Guy with just the dates to be confirmed. I daresay other nights will be talked about (S, GM etc. for example), so there are things to look forward to.