There's a ton of stuff ongoing that, for the first time in a long time, could mean that come New Year's Eve, I'm celebrating an overall good year.
Potentially the housing issue will be resolved in a matter of weeks giving me a lot more freedom, but a lot less free cash. That will enable me to restart a lot of things that were put on the shelf a few months ago including exercise and cooking - two things that I've missed dearly. I'll also be in a position where I do a lot more hosting/entertaining - something I was unable to do when I lived in a shared house.
Sports Girl and I have spent more time in each others' company as well, but I'm unsure about the future. It's still lust rather than a relationship vibe I get from her, but I'm not sure that's her point of view. We've spoken about Christmas and New Year (we both find it to be a lonely time of the year and that could be the catalyst for some socialising for both of us) and she's been very excited with my recent housing news. I get the impression she's lonely in general - she's mentioned a few things, amongst other things, that her friendship with GM, FC, S and myself is very important to her. Her youngest child is far younger than I had originally known, so she's been single a lot less than I had assumed. I have inferred, from what she has said, that she didn't do an awful lot of socialising prior to meeting GM.
She's very much getting into "friend" territory, but there are too many deal-breakers for her to be anything more serious, romantically-speaking or for anything like that to develop.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Monday, November 23, 2015
Pondering.
For obvious reasons, I've recently been pondering the term "fuck buddy", which to some is interchangeable with the phrase "friend with benefits". Not to me, though.
For me, a fuck buddy is purely a physical relationship. A booty call. Someone to scratch that particular itch. A friend with benefits, in my opinion, lies somewhere between a fuck buddy and a full-on boyfriend or girlfriend.
It's the latter I'm considering with Sports Girl, though I've no real idea how she would take it. I didn't notice anything untoward during our recent night out playing pool, but the past weekend's night out, her interest was clearer. She was very tactile while we were dancing, there were a few moments where it looked like she might have gone in for a kiss before she caught herself on and when we were parting ways (SG, S and a friend of SG's were going to a club while I called it a night), she was very reluctant to let me leave.
My current living situation is not really conducive to bringing women home and SG has a live-in teenage daughter, so it's not like we have ready-made privacy if things ever did get physical. My inability to make any kinds of plans over the past few months has been very frustrating. I have a lot planned when things are resolved, but that's not looking to be done this side of Christmas.
So, thinking about SG non-platonically, but also in a non-relationship way is a fine line to have to tread with SG already being a friend and us sharing mutual friends.
For me, a fuck buddy is purely a physical relationship. A booty call. Someone to scratch that particular itch. A friend with benefits, in my opinion, lies somewhere between a fuck buddy and a full-on boyfriend or girlfriend.
It's the latter I'm considering with Sports Girl, though I've no real idea how she would take it. I didn't notice anything untoward during our recent night out playing pool, but the past weekend's night out, her interest was clearer. She was very tactile while we were dancing, there were a few moments where it looked like she might have gone in for a kiss before she caught herself on and when we were parting ways (SG, S and a friend of SG's were going to a club while I called it a night), she was very reluctant to let me leave.
My current living situation is not really conducive to bringing women home and SG has a live-in teenage daughter, so it's not like we have ready-made privacy if things ever did get physical. My inability to make any kinds of plans over the past few months has been very frustrating. I have a lot planned when things are resolved, but that's not looking to be done this side of Christmas.
So, thinking about SG non-platonically, but also in a non-relationship way is a fine line to have to tread with SG already being a friend and us sharing mutual friends.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Words
After a bit of deliberation with myself, I owned up to Sports Girl about not being able to remember most of what happened on Hallowe'en night. This was after we'd spent the entire afternoon bantering away about replaying our impromptu pool competition of last weekend. SG issued another challenge, so I knew that we were both OK, but part of me still felt the need to apologise.
I do get drunk, but I am a sensible drunk. I rarely forget the night before due to alcohol and it's an even rarer event that I do something outside of my comfort zone. So, having memory loss of that period of time was something that wasn't sitting right with me. I don't even remember talking to SG after her admission, never mind just forgetting what it was I'd said. My vague memory of the night is of her saying something then there's a blank until I return from the bar or the toilet and she's sat there looking unhappy and on the verge of tears.
Arguably, I should have apologised weeks ago, but it was a conversation with KfW2 a few days ago that made me realise that time was passing quickly and waiting any longer would mean it was too long to say anything.
So, with no face time looming and us living on opposite sides of the city, I fired off a quick text message.
She replied. She says there's nothing to forgive and that I said or did nothing wrong (though I can't shake the feeling that I could've dealt with it better). She also admitted that she can't remember too much about that night, which leaves me wondering if she can remember coming on to me or if she's saying she's got her own memory loss to save face.
None of it really matters. We never stopped chatting and texting and have spent time alone outside of the group since that night, so we're all good. She asked a few questions about my housing project, once again offered a place to kip after a night out and the conversation continued as if the serious interlude never happened.
I just need to figure out how open she is to trying something physical without going down the whole dating route.
I do get drunk, but I am a sensible drunk. I rarely forget the night before due to alcohol and it's an even rarer event that I do something outside of my comfort zone. So, having memory loss of that period of time was something that wasn't sitting right with me. I don't even remember talking to SG after her admission, never mind just forgetting what it was I'd said. My vague memory of the night is of her saying something then there's a blank until I return from the bar or the toilet and she's sat there looking unhappy and on the verge of tears.
Arguably, I should have apologised weeks ago, but it was a conversation with KfW2 a few days ago that made me realise that time was passing quickly and waiting any longer would mean it was too long to say anything.
So, with no face time looming and us living on opposite sides of the city, I fired off a quick text message.
She replied. She says there's nothing to forgive and that I said or did nothing wrong (though I can't shake the feeling that I could've dealt with it better). She also admitted that she can't remember too much about that night, which leaves me wondering if she can remember coming on to me or if she's saying she's got her own memory loss to save face.
None of it really matters. We never stopped chatting and texting and have spent time alone outside of the group since that night, so we're all good. She asked a few questions about my housing project, once again offered a place to kip after a night out and the conversation continued as if the serious interlude never happened.
I just need to figure out how open she is to trying something physical without going down the whole dating route.
Monday, November 16, 2015
FB or not FB, that is the question.
Since her admission on Hallowe'en, SG and I have been in more contact. It's hard to say if this is a direct result of what was said that night because our contact, outside of the main group, was increasing anyway. And there was at least one night before then where it was just the two of us - having a coffee or just having a game of pool and chilling.
This isn't all one-way traffic from SG either. I've initiated contact a few times by myself, I've suggested that we meet, just the two of us, which was ultimately cancelled because of an injury to SG's daughter.
A few days after that, though, we found ourselves in a bar by ourselves. GM, S etc. had all had other plans, so SG's last-minute suggestion of pool and pints meant it was just me and her. We did the pool and pints, then adjourned to another bar where we knew a band would be playing.
It was a good night, though it dipped in the middle due to the breaking news of the attacks in Paris. She might not be girlfriend material as far as I am concerned, but she's really good company and good fun. I'm trying to figure out if we can get something physical going, but I'm drawing a blank at the moment. There were plenty of hugs and, with her repeatedly dragging me up to dance, I had plenty of opportunity to be tactile.
The night ended late - we were the last to leave the bar. We got talking to a couple of people outside who were going clubbing. SG wanted us to go along with them, but I'm not big into clubbing. At least, not a club that exclusively plays dance music which is pretty much all of them here. I tried to get her to change her mind so I could order two taxis (we live in completely opposite directions, so no chance of sharing a taxi).
She left with the two people for the club. I flagged down a taxi and went home. When I arrived, I had a missed Whatsapp call, from SG, and a message. She'd gone to the club, then immediately gotten a taxi home before going in. We had arrived back at our respective homes almost in tandem.
There were a few extra messages swapped back and forth where I explained to yet another person that it's not clubbing I am against but the music. If there were a rock or indie club here, I'd stay out late a lot more often.
Since then, we've been in conversation a little more. It's less banter-like and more serious, but that's because SG's concerned about the fallout from Friday's attacks. In this scenario, SG and KfW2 are very similar - they're very empathetic.
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'd love for something physical to happen. I'm incredibly frustrated that a gorgeous, sexy woman who, physically at least, ticks a load of my boxes has shown interest in me, but I can't to the same in return, beyond lust. But she's a friend too. I don't want to ruin anything by clumsily trying it on when she's not interested (and obviously, having turned her down a few weeks ago and not actually being able to remember what I said, is not working in my favour.)
This isn't all one-way traffic from SG either. I've initiated contact a few times by myself, I've suggested that we meet, just the two of us, which was ultimately cancelled because of an injury to SG's daughter.
A few days after that, though, we found ourselves in a bar by ourselves. GM, S etc. had all had other plans, so SG's last-minute suggestion of pool and pints meant it was just me and her. We did the pool and pints, then adjourned to another bar where we knew a band would be playing.
It was a good night, though it dipped in the middle due to the breaking news of the attacks in Paris. She might not be girlfriend material as far as I am concerned, but she's really good company and good fun. I'm trying to figure out if we can get something physical going, but I'm drawing a blank at the moment. There were plenty of hugs and, with her repeatedly dragging me up to dance, I had plenty of opportunity to be tactile.
The night ended late - we were the last to leave the bar. We got talking to a couple of people outside who were going clubbing. SG wanted us to go along with them, but I'm not big into clubbing. At least, not a club that exclusively plays dance music which is pretty much all of them here. I tried to get her to change her mind so I could order two taxis (we live in completely opposite directions, so no chance of sharing a taxi).
She left with the two people for the club. I flagged down a taxi and went home. When I arrived, I had a missed Whatsapp call, from SG, and a message. She'd gone to the club, then immediately gotten a taxi home before going in. We had arrived back at our respective homes almost in tandem.
There were a few extra messages swapped back and forth where I explained to yet another person that it's not clubbing I am against but the music. If there were a rock or indie club here, I'd stay out late a lot more often.
Since then, we've been in conversation a little more. It's less banter-like and more serious, but that's because SG's concerned about the fallout from Friday's attacks. In this scenario, SG and KfW2 are very similar - they're very empathetic.
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'd love for something physical to happen. I'm incredibly frustrated that a gorgeous, sexy woman who, physically at least, ticks a load of my boxes has shown interest in me, but I can't to the same in return, beyond lust. But she's a friend too. I don't want to ruin anything by clumsily trying it on when she's not interested (and obviously, having turned her down a few weeks ago and not actually being able to remember what I said, is not working in my favour.)
Sunday, November 01, 2015
Oh dear.
S had a Hallowe'en party last night with a few of his mates and our core crowd (FC, GM, Sports Girl, FC's wife). It was a great night, but the talking point was Sports Girl.
She pretty much admitted that she was attracted to me. I'd kinda figured that was coming from the way she was behaving in the time leading up to that, even though, in general, I always thought that she might have had a thing for S (and I definitely thought S had a thing for her). Sadly, from her perspective, I don't see SG as girlfriend material, so I had to let her down. I don't think I did it particularly well so I will have some apologising to do if we need to talk it out.
She looked stunning last night though in a home made Wonder Woman costume (she's into cosplay, so she's good at costume making). If she were into one night stands or something casual, then I would definitely have left the party early, if you know what I mean, but she's not. She's implied that in the past, specifically when she offered, then retracted, an offer of something casual with GM.
*knowing wink*
I also have a massive hangover today - jelly shots, general shots and tequila are not a good mix. And a tinge of frustration at not being able to take SG home.
She pretty much admitted that she was attracted to me. I'd kinda figured that was coming from the way she was behaving in the time leading up to that, even though, in general, I always thought that she might have had a thing for S (and I definitely thought S had a thing for her). Sadly, from her perspective, I don't see SG as girlfriend material, so I had to let her down. I don't think I did it particularly well so I will have some apologising to do if we need to talk it out.
She looked stunning last night though in a home made Wonder Woman costume (she's into cosplay, so she's good at costume making). If she were into one night stands or something casual, then I would definitely have left the party early, if you know what I mean, but she's not. She's implied that in the past, specifically when she offered, then retracted, an offer of something casual with GM.
*knowing wink*
I also have a massive hangover today - jelly shots, general shots and tequila are not a good mix. And a tinge of frustration at not being able to take SG home.
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