This weekend was really enjoyable. On Friday, the guys I used to work with (same company, different department) all went out for a few beers. A few turned into many and I was probably more toasted by the end of the evening than I have been in months... possibly years! The craic was great and I had a really good night. The kind of night I want/should have more often.
Obviously Saturday was a near write-off. The hangover kicked in late, but it kicked in with style leaving me pretty much like a stranded turtle until tea-time.
The day was redeemed by an invitation to babysit my nephew for a few hours, which gladly took. He's great fun so it's no hassle at all unless he has one of his difficult moods, but he was a star.
Today was spent lazing around, fiddling on the internet and doing a bit of reading. Tomorrow's the start of a long week at work and the frustrations of a few weeks ago are diminishing, but still present. That's most apparent on Sunday nights when I've got the full working week ahead of me. Ah well... at least it's pay day tomorrow!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Re: D'oh!
Of course, the answer is quite simple. I'm scared of rejection, even for something where I'm asking someone I like to stay in contact. Three years ago, V and I had the beginnings of what could have been a super friendship. It might have been more, I did sense a certain amount of sexual tension between us and I don't deny that I found her extremely attractive, but I never saw it going to another level (plus my limited time with her meant nothing big was ever going to happen). So, yes, a great friendship.
We lost touch when I came home. I sent a quick "thank you" letter and small gift for her hospitality when I came back and I made the odd half-hearted attempt to get in touch, but nothing serious and I heard nothing from her in return until the Facebook thing.
Now, after swapping a couple of brief messages, everything's gone quiet again. I could try and add her as a friend, but these things are two way streets for those of you that don't know Facebook. I have to request her friendship and she has to grant it. And... well... I'm scared (?) that she'll reject me or add me as a friend, but never speak to me or that she'd only add me as a friend because I made the request and maybe she's had no interest in knowing me at all since I left.
I should just grow some balls, shouldn't I?
We lost touch when I came home. I sent a quick "thank you" letter and small gift for her hospitality when I came back and I made the odd half-hearted attempt to get in touch, but nothing serious and I heard nothing from her in return until the Facebook thing.
Now, after swapping a couple of brief messages, everything's gone quiet again. I could try and add her as a friend, but these things are two way streets for those of you that don't know Facebook. I have to request her friendship and she has to grant it. And... well... I'm scared (?) that she'll reject me or add me as a friend, but never speak to me or that she'd only add me as a friend because I made the request and maybe she's had no interest in knowing me at all since I left.
I should just grow some balls, shouldn't I?
D'oh.
I was about to post that I'd tried to access V's profile on Facebook, but that it seemed to have disappeared. It was obviously going to be another rant about the amount of time I invest in people, only to see that I pick the wrong people far too many times.
I have come to the conclusion that I expect too much from my friends or I have this sixth sense that tells me who's going to be sporadic in contact.
Anyway, I tried again, and lo and behold, V's profile is still there. She's updated her picture to something that looks a little less like her than her original picture, but is a picture that arguably makes her better looking. Does that make sense? She's also added a few friends, which indicates some activity over the past few weeks, although she's yet to reply to my last message.
I keep meaning to add her as a friend, but then I get all nervous because if she wanted to be friends, she would have replied, right?
This is absurd! I'm sitting here sweating, like a teenager asking out a girl he really likes. All I'm doing is asking a (potential) friend to stay in touch, so why the nerves? What a gimp!
I have come to the conclusion that I expect too much from my friends or I have this sixth sense that tells me who's going to be sporadic in contact.
Anyway, I tried again, and lo and behold, V's profile is still there. She's updated her picture to something that looks a little less like her than her original picture, but is a picture that arguably makes her better looking. Does that make sense? She's also added a few friends, which indicates some activity over the past few weeks, although she's yet to reply to my last message.
I keep meaning to add her as a friend, but then I get all nervous because if she wanted to be friends, she would have replied, right?
This is absurd! I'm sitting here sweating, like a teenager asking out a girl he really likes. All I'm doing is asking a (potential) friend to stay in touch, so why the nerves? What a gimp!
Guess what?
Yup, you guessed it. FP cried off again.
At 8:30 PM, I got fed up waiting for him to declare his intentions and asked if he was heading out.
He wasn't. He was hungover.
He could have bloody said that during the afternoon when I first asked him if he was going to the pub.
Fucking idiot.
At 8:30 PM, I got fed up waiting for him to declare his intentions and asked if he was heading out.
He wasn't. He was hungover.
He could have bloody said that during the afternoon when I first asked him if he was going to the pub.
Fucking idiot.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
To pub or not to pub?
At the start of the week, FP suggested we hit some bars on Friday night and although I didn't want to get too hammered because of the birthday party I was attending on Saturday, I agreed.
Come Friday afternoon however, and FP starts playing coy.
A text message sent enquiring about heading to the pub gets the reply "It's very probable."
Probable? This is the guy that wanted me to go to the pub and is now playing silly buggers! This is typical FP though... he has to remain in control at all times or else he throws his toys out of the pram. I prodded again on MSN at tea-time, figuring I could still swing something if the FP thing collapsed (I was in the mood for a few beers by this time). Again, he remained non-committal.
At 8 PM, he appeared once again on MSN saying that he'd just been for a nap and would get back to me once he'd fed and watered himself. And to my surprise, he did...
... at 9 PM whereupon he said he was too tired to go out, but he suggested Sunday night instead.
Usually, I'd agree or disagree immediately as I usually know what I'm doing a few days in advance (don't most people?), but this time I never committed myself either way. I did get a notion for a pint or two this evening and once again mentioned this to FP. His reply?
"It's in discussion."
That was a few hours ago. It's now just after 8 PM. Will FP say "yay" or "nay"? And will he leave it until late to actually make a decision without me chasing him?
Come Friday afternoon however, and FP starts playing coy.
A text message sent enquiring about heading to the pub gets the reply "It's very probable."
Probable? This is the guy that wanted me to go to the pub and is now playing silly buggers! This is typical FP though... he has to remain in control at all times or else he throws his toys out of the pram. I prodded again on MSN at tea-time, figuring I could still swing something if the FP thing collapsed (I was in the mood for a few beers by this time). Again, he remained non-committal.
At 8 PM, he appeared once again on MSN saying that he'd just been for a nap and would get back to me once he'd fed and watered himself. And to my surprise, he did...
... at 9 PM whereupon he said he was too tired to go out, but he suggested Sunday night instead.
Usually, I'd agree or disagree immediately as I usually know what I'm doing a few days in advance (don't most people?), but this time I never committed myself either way. I did get a notion for a pint or two this evening and once again mentioned this to FP. His reply?
"It's in discussion."
That was a few hours ago. It's now just after 8 PM. Will FP say "yay" or "nay"? And will he leave it until late to actually make a decision without me chasing him?
Saturday, July 21, 2007
"Groo", I believe is the word.
Yes, it's that time again, which seems to be coming around ever more frequently recently. It's that "I'm pissed off at being single" moment.
Sometimes, it's because I want someone to share the moment with. Sometimes I get this feeling because I want regular/semi-regular sex. Sometimes, I just want someone I can rely on to go out for a drink, or to the cinema and not have to hope one of my other mates can get a pass out. There are usually tonnes of reasons like these and these momentary self-pity moments are usually set off by one thing just like that.
This time it was brought on by being at a birthday party today where there were plenty of couples around my age - married and dating. For some reason, despite the fact I was enjoying myself, I still felt kinda lonely. Everyone else was paired up, having a good old chat and whatnot. I don't know exactly why I felt lonely or why being in a relationship would have made this any different, but it was the over-riding feeling I had after everyone else had gone home and I was left with the hosts, tidying up.
Oh, and the girl from this post was there, but sadly I didn't get to chat to her. She looked different this time around... not as pretty as the first time I saw her (though still extremely pretty mind you) and this time around, she reminded me of someone else. Someone famous, I think, but I can't think of who it was.
Sometimes, it's because I want someone to share the moment with. Sometimes I get this feeling because I want regular/semi-regular sex. Sometimes, I just want someone I can rely on to go out for a drink, or to the cinema and not have to hope one of my other mates can get a pass out. There are usually tonnes of reasons like these and these momentary self-pity moments are usually set off by one thing just like that.
This time it was brought on by being at a birthday party today where there were plenty of couples around my age - married and dating. For some reason, despite the fact I was enjoying myself, I still felt kinda lonely. Everyone else was paired up, having a good old chat and whatnot. I don't know exactly why I felt lonely or why being in a relationship would have made this any different, but it was the over-riding feeling I had after everyone else had gone home and I was left with the hosts, tidying up.
Oh, and the girl from this post was there, but sadly I didn't get to chat to her. She looked different this time around... not as pretty as the first time I saw her (though still extremely pretty mind you) and this time around, she reminded me of someone else. Someone famous, I think, but I can't think of who it was.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
The wait continues...
Still nothing from V in the past few weeks (two weeks tomorrow, actually), which is disappointing, but not exactly unexpected. When we actually saw each other face to face, she had a habit of 'disappearing' for days at a time and a week wasn't unusual - no return phone calls, voicemail etc. I'm an impatient man by nature, so hanging around waiting for people isn't my idea of fun, but I am (some might say stupidly) loyal/patient with the people I like and have a bond with, so I'll give her some more time, but my patience won't last forever.
On the plus side, I got a card today from E. She posted it two weeks ago and it only arrived today! Bloody hell! Still, it was nice to hear from her. I hope to catch her online again sometime soon for a bit of a chat.
I'm going to a party on Saturday, which I'm looking forward to. Plenty of people that I know, and as a bonus, the girl that I posted about here will probably be there. No danger of anything untoward (nice though she is, there's not that spark), but I like her. It;s not often I meet someone with whom I'm so instantly at ease and comfortable.
On the plus side, I got a card today from E. She posted it two weeks ago and it only arrived today! Bloody hell! Still, it was nice to hear from her. I hope to catch her online again sometime soon for a bit of a chat.
I'm going to a party on Saturday, which I'm looking forward to. Plenty of people that I know, and as a bonus, the girl that I posted about here will probably be there. No danger of anything untoward (nice though she is, there's not that spark), but I like her. It;s not often I meet someone with whom I'm so instantly at ease and comfortable.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Stll waiting...
Nothing from V in a few days since we both established that we were both who we thought the other was. does that make sense? Anyway, I'm getting impatient as we were getting to the point in the "conversation" where we stop tiptoe-ing around each other and get into the proper conversation, catching up with each other and, hopefully, getting to a point where we're in contact every now and again.
As an aside, I got a vards from USHW at the weekend, which was sweet. Thanks USHW!
As an aside, I got a vards from USHW at the weekend, which was sweet. Thanks USHW!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
An interesting conversation
I made a post last night that I really shouldn't have. No point on going looking for it... it's been deleted. It wasn't that terrible or scandalous, but I wasn't expressing myself too well and I didn't like it, so it went.
Anyway, I was out last night with my brother-in-law for a few drinks and we bumped into a good friend of his (top lad, actually) who was out with his “new” girlfriend (as we knew it... their relationship is about six months old). The girlfriend is stunning and right up my street: good looking, brunette, great smile, good figure, great sense of humour, (very) easy to talk to... a lot of boxes were ticked.
While my brother-in-law and his mate were off at the bar/toilet/whatever (having a blokes' chat about the girlfriend, unsurprisingly), I had a chance to chat with the girlfriend. Somehow, we ended up talking about my relationship status. Usually, it's something I don't like talking about, but I felt completely at ease with this girl and within a very short period of time she knew practically everything I've posted here regarding my feelings toward my relationship status. I told her that most of the time I'm happily single but that every now and again it was something that annoyed me and that I was probably entering a stage where it was pissing me off. She found out that I had considered online dating, but never committed myself because there was a distinct lack of potential dates on the sites I'd checked out (and she found out I was extremely picky from my brother-in-law). She heard my frustrations about my lack of social life (mates with kids/mortgages/marriages etc.) and how that translated into less opportunities to get out and meet people, which she agreed with totally and said she had found the same thing with her friends, even though she is quite a bit younger than I am (about 8 years). There was playful talk about getting set up with her (high maintenance) friends, but I think that was just pub talk. It was nice (and strange) to actually say all of that out loud, because it's not something I usually talk about. My sister's heard bits of it, but she's just like “well, go out and meet someone”, so finding someone that could relate to what I was moaning about, agree with some/all of the points I was making and even sympathise/empathise with me was most refreshing.
After meeting her though, I am in one of those moods again where being single is pissing me off. It's partly because she is exactly the sort of person I'd like to meet myself and partly because it's just getting to that time again. Even the Sarah Silverman girl from work was quizzing me on Friday about my relationship status, and when I end up in conversations about my single life, I usually get pissed off.
Anyway, I was out last night with my brother-in-law for a few drinks and we bumped into a good friend of his (top lad, actually) who was out with his “new” girlfriend (as we knew it... their relationship is about six months old). The girlfriend is stunning and right up my street: good looking, brunette, great smile, good figure, great sense of humour, (very) easy to talk to... a lot of boxes were ticked.
While my brother-in-law and his mate were off at the bar/toilet/whatever (having a blokes' chat about the girlfriend, unsurprisingly), I had a chance to chat with the girlfriend. Somehow, we ended up talking about my relationship status. Usually, it's something I don't like talking about, but I felt completely at ease with this girl and within a very short period of time she knew practically everything I've posted here regarding my feelings toward my relationship status. I told her that most of the time I'm happily single but that every now and again it was something that annoyed me and that I was probably entering a stage where it was pissing me off. She found out that I had considered online dating, but never committed myself because there was a distinct lack of potential dates on the sites I'd checked out (and she found out I was extremely picky from my brother-in-law). She heard my frustrations about my lack of social life (mates with kids/mortgages/marriages etc.) and how that translated into less opportunities to get out and meet people, which she agreed with totally and said she had found the same thing with her friends, even though she is quite a bit younger than I am (about 8 years). There was playful talk about getting set up with her (high maintenance) friends, but I think that was just pub talk. It was nice (and strange) to actually say all of that out loud, because it's not something I usually talk about. My sister's heard bits of it, but she's just like “well, go out and meet someone”, so finding someone that could relate to what I was moaning about, agree with some/all of the points I was making and even sympathise/empathise with me was most refreshing.
After meeting her though, I am in one of those moods again where being single is pissing me off. It's partly because she is exactly the sort of person I'd like to meet myself and partly because it's just getting to that time again. Even the Sarah Silverman girl from work was quizzing me on Friday about my relationship status, and when I end up in conversations about my single life, I usually get pissed off.
A reply!
It's V! She seems quite pleased to hear from me. Am not investing a lot in this continuing for some time, but hopefully it'll last long enough to swap up-to-date contact details and we won't have top rely on the site for contact.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Quick reply!
I got a reply from V late last night, but she's either playing coy in case I'm a nutter or she's completely forgotten me. I'm more convinced that it's her as a little more of her profile has opened up because I messaged her. Bugger.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Message sent!
So I sent V a message. I've no idea how often her Facebook account is accessed (the account does look pretty bare/neglected), but hopefully the notification email she gets will persuade her to log in and check her messages and we'll see what happens then!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Oooooooooh!
Part of my problem with contact with V has always been that I was unsure if I was actually reaching her. When we parted, we swapped contact details and she was very sweet in the note she gave me along with her details (although to be fair we were both very definitely un-sober). Me, being the sentimentalist that I am, still carry it around in my wallet. However, while I can read her note, her email address is unreadable. She left her mobile number, but I was useless with international dialling codes and I'm not even sure any text message I sent was even delivered. I did send her a present when I first returned to the UK (as a thank you for showing me around, taking me to clubs etc.) , which I know she got, but relying on snail mail all the time isn't practical.
So, imagine my surprise when I found someone with V's full name on Facebook. There's a picture, too. It kinda looks like her, but it's really small and unclear and has no location data and profiles are inaccessible unless I get added as a friend. Should I send this girl a message? What should I say?
So, imagine my surprise when I found someone with V's full name on Facebook. There's a picture, too. It kinda looks like her, but it's really small and unclear and has no location data and profiles are inaccessible unless I get added as a friend. Should I send this girl a message? What should I say?
Yay!
I managed to find a card and send it to E today. Only a few days late and the message in the card is kind of lame, but it's gone nonetheless.
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