It's not often I say this, but...

I could fucking murder a ciggie. Two days on the sauce, a couple of weeks of shit from work and that all adds up to some ciggie-based stress relief.

Why email is bad...

Here's something I received by email:

This is should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it everyday. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

I mean, what sort of muppet sends this stuff out? At least 15 people love me in some way? Well, d'uh! Someone that I don't even know exists loves me? Is that meant to make me feel better? I'll tell you what would make me feel better... having this person kneeling naked in front of me. I'd be in better form then, for sure. I am special and unique. I know that too. I'm not some follow-the-crowd idiot. I do things my way (which, by the way, is the right way).

People who send this stuff out should be bloody well shot (or atleast have email access taken away from them).

A rant on human nature...

In previous posts, I've talked about the on-line pastime that I have. It takes up a lot less time than it used to, but that's only to be expected really. Most people start off intensively and then it fades away, just like any other aspect of life.

Anyway, within this on-line hobby, I have a position of some power. It's kind of a cross between an advisor, a customer service role and well, some kind of third example that I can't put my finger on. Sue me, it's Boxing day and I've spent all day drinking beers at my sister's house with my brother-in-law. However, you wouldn't believe the politics and back-stabbing that goes on around it.

I've made a name for myself as a no-nonsense character. I say what I mean and I say it in few words. Along the way, people have developed a somewhat irrational hatred of me for exactly that. Some people change their minds (I believe USHW once wanted to biff me for exactly the thing I've described above, but now only wants to boff me instead. That may or may not be true, but it makes a great pun.) and some carry petty little grudges for years based on a few click of a mouse on a website.

That kind of behaviour has raised it's head again recently and it's always disappointed to see. One fully grown man, possibly over fifty, spent hours recently trying to make the most obvious (though invalid) point possible, while trying to disguise his motives with practically no success in my opinion. It's funny because the person whose defence he has leapt to is one of the most disliked people on the site due to numerous mistakes over the last few years, but who keeps returning under different guises. So he's not actually defending this bloke, but rather using him as a reason to try and cause me inconvenience. It's not the first time either, but he obviously didn't learn his lesson last time when plenty of people called him on his inappropriate behaviour.

I guess it's easy for me to keep the moral higher ground because there are very few people involved in the online hobby that I would say that I disliked and most of those have ended up in my bad books because they've started some sort of personal crusade against me first. Even that old guy mentioned above, I don't really dislike. I just think it's incredibly sad that a grown man has to act like a teenager in being snidey in order to try and get one over someone else for reasons that have yet to be released. I certainly don't know why this man dislikes me.

A few years ago, USHW forwarded an email from another, similar, older guy who had ranted about me and made numerous unfounded accusations. I currently have dealings with a much older woman who is, quite frankly, a spiteful, hate filled cow. I'd go further and perhaps suggest that there's something not quite wired right, because her behaviour is extremely odd and inconsistent.

I don't know what it is with these people, but sometimes I just shake my head at life. I mean, I could easily make life easier for myself by either quitting my role or stopping the hobby, but I enjoy the hobby even though I'm not as active as I once was and my stupid stubbornness means that I won't give up my role... at least not quite yet.

The totty list... further additions.

I forgot to add Zooey Deschanel to the list.

Saves an otherwise horrid Will Ferrell movie in "Elf" and is brilliant as Trillian in "Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy".

And her sister Emily's not bad either!

Aaaaaaargh...

Yesterday, after carefully watching a project of mine in the real world, it was flagged that a phone number in the correspondence aspect of it was wrong... by three digits.

Six weeks worth of work ruined and all because some senior manager can't proof read, and now us lackeys are slaving, trying to recover the situation without causing too much inconvenience to the customers.

Yesterday and today have been nearly twelve hour working days, which is so not what I had planned for this week. I fancied some Xmas shopping (only one more to get), perhaps a few hours to write a few articles for my online hobby and general chilling out with perhaps a day off at the end of the week (and the rest of the year off, too).

Bollocks to that plan, then and my "I hate my job" mood is back. Once again the issue lies at the heart of our information supplying processes, not just to me, but across the board. Again I'm wondering if this is specific to my department, the company as a whole or even the entire industry. My "I hate my job" mood is purely down to the fact that I'm no good at this information hunting. I shouldn't have to do it anyway. If it's as bad elsewhere (company or industry) is there even any point in considering a transfer or new job? I guess I have some pondering to do at Xmas.

On the other hand, I found a few more pictures of V. Does that woman look bad in any photograph? It appears not. While there are several where she doesn't actually look as she does in real life, she's gorgeous in all of them.

I showed them to USHW which prompted a conversation about V again, albeit not particularly serious, but I am now in a "I miss V" mood. Still, chatting with USHW about V and sex is jolly good fun and a nice tonic to the frustrations of the past two days (and probably the rest of the week).

Ruuude's celeb totty list (additions)

Of course, Jessica Alba and Catherine Bell will take some beating at the top of Ruuude's totty list, but there are others out there that are more than worthy for inclusion.

• Jessica Alba
• Catherine Bell

Other girls I've mentioned on the blog so far:

• Sienna Guillory
• Lexa Doig
• Sarah Wayne Callies
• Nicole de Boer
• Keegan Connor Tracey

So, here are a few more that I've liked for a while. These aren't new additions from 2007, but just people I've never spoken about. (Too busy stalking making sure Jessica's OK, you see.)

• Ellie Crisell (she presents Newsround, or did the last time I saw it, and is wasted on kids' TV)

Facebook

USHW recently quizzed me about my love life. It was like being on Mastermind. "Tonight, your specialist subject is Ruuude's love life, from 2000 until 2007" It was fun. It's nice to reminisce sometimes, and USHW's Qs were a good way of doing it. That prompted me to trawl my Outlook contacts once again for more people to contact and names from my past that have somewhat unexpectedly popped up. FA2's name is there. I've no idea how long she's been a member, but thus far, she's yet to contact any of her so-called friends from the UK. Somehow, I doubt she will and that all ties have been cut (until the next time she wants something, that is.) K's name popped up too, but I already knew she was on Facebook. I'm toying with contacting her, but I know that F will laugh at me, as might USHW, given what happened before between K and myself. FA1's name is there and I will definitely contact her, either by email (likely) or by asking for friends on Facebook (not as likely). One name that popped up that was a complete surprise was the Finnish's girl's name from this post and this post. I'm not going to add her/contact her because she had that chance a few years ago and was throughly disinterested from the very start. She's prettier than I remember, too (though I was very, very drunk when chatting to her).

No title at this time

I used to really, really fancy QC2. She was an ex co-worker of mine from a job I had probably about 13 years ago. QC2 was Jessica Alba before Jessica Alba was old enough to be attractive to men. QC2 was brunette, an almost perfect size 10, fantastic arse in a pair of Levis (blue or black), a sarcastic sense of humour with an edge to it and she was gorgeous. There are many, many similarities between QC2 and Jessica Alba, physically speaking. Jessica's better looking with a body only too much time at the gym can provide, but if there ever was a real world copy, then QC2 is it.

I think she knew that I really liked her, but there was never anything in it from her perspective. As these things tend to go with me, the non-platonic feeling soon gave way to platonic feeling and QC2 is a girl I'm quite fond of. I'm sure an element of the non-platonic stuff still exists in some minute fragment but ignoring that, she's someone I feel extremely comfortable with. I would have no hesitation in talking to her about my ambiguous feelings regarding E, for example. Or my frustration at the recent Kiwi Girl events. However, for some reason, I'm not entirely comfortable just saying it out loud. It kinda sounds like bragging and I don't have the skills to bring it up in conversation without it sounding like a boast ("See me, I pulled a stunning blonde Kiwi Girl last week!"). If someone raises a subject, I'll talk about it. If not, I talk around subjects. That's why I prefer people to ask me direct questions, I think. It certainly gave rise to USHW's list of Qs that she asks sometimes.

I was out with QC2 tonight and rather than just voice the remaining frustrations I have regarding the Kiwi Girl situation, all I could do was hint at it and hope she asked the questions. So, rather predictably, I skirted around the issue. QC2's usually quite intuitive and picks up on these weird foibles of mine, but tonight she was a little off (for no reason that I could ascertain). Maybe it's because we've not seen each other in well over a year. That'd be my guess.

Irrespective of my own weirdness, I had a thoroughly enjoyable couple of hours in QC2's company. Part of it is probably sue to that remaining non-platonic core that I have, but QC2 is simply good company. We've agreed that it's something we should do far more of and have tentative plans to arrange a night out some time and a different night out to visit a mutual friend of ours (AM) that we've both neglected far too much recently. This probably won't be until after the holiday season, but I'm looking forward to these nights already.

You have to wonder...

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine and myself were talking about our relative singleness. He's quite annoyed by his, I'm indifferent to mine, but we kinda agreed to be more proactive about meeting girls.

I followed this up by attracting Kiwi Girl last weekend and last night, who did I see in the bar? None other than Pretty Blonde! Well, I've often said that if I saw her out, away from a work's bash, I'd do something about it. Last night, I did nothing apart from catch her eye a few times. Why? Well, I wasn't out with mates last night, it was a work's night out (not one of the usual, regular nights out, but a smaller, team night out).

Bugger.

There was a flicker of interest still there, I think, though it doesn't seem to be as strong as it used to be. Who knows why? There are loads of reasons, but it's pointless trying to guess what they might be.