Right then...

I managed to get KfW2 on the phone, and we've had a nice twenty minute chat, though we don't have a lot of news to share. However, we have tentative plans (you've heard this before) for the start of March.

This week's too early, next week is Valentine's Day (though KfW2 claims she doesn't celebrate it), the week after I'll be out with D, FBS etc. and the following week is KfW2's husband's birthday.

It's interesting that the second weekend in March is when we've seemingly done a few things. I recall taking her out for a milestone birthday back in 2017 on that weekend and I'm sure there are at least a couple of other nights out.

But I hope this pans out. If not, then the count will be 15 months since we last saw each other, face-to-face, and that's really disappointing for me.

Don't tell anyone, but I'm actually really excited.

Just... erm... stuff.

For no reason... ahem... I was thinking of Jenni Lee earlier.

Count 'em.

Unsurprisingly, the number of Valentine's cards received this year is 0, dear reader. I can't remember if I've posted about this before, but I only ever recall getting two cards in my entire life. One was a joke from a godparent and the other was from QC2. I had the hugest crush on her at the time, too. I had kissed her at a party only a few weeks earlier, asked her out and was turned down, so this card coming through the post really threw me. It took a chat with AM to clarify that there was no intent behind it other than a bit of light-hearted fun.

The only person I've actively been dating at this time of year was FA2. She was giving off these "I don't buy into V-Day", though I still bought her flowers and took her to dinner. I don't recall getting a card from her, either. In fact, beyond birthday cards, she never really came up with the goods, though I've probably covered that before.

But even though I wasn't actively dating anyone on V-Day, the memory made me realise that this time of year is probably my most active or successful in terms of meeting women. And by this time of year, I mean roughly mid-December through to mid-March.

Of the women frequently mentioned on this blog, QC1, FA2, FBS, and CAB all happened/started within this period. The E3 incident happened. While nothing progressed, the Chloe night fell into this window too. There are a few others who have not been mentioned on the blog when the initial meeting happened at this time.

While regular readers of this blog might assume that, due to my perennial single status, I don't like V-day, I do have very fond memories of this time of year because of the women mentioned above.

Sigh.

I'm pretty sure that I've posted previously about not making a big thing of St Valentine's Day. I've never celebrated it, any girlfriends I've been dating at the time haven't made a big deal of it and I don't ever remember sending a proper, anonymous, Valentine's card.

I don't think I've ever received one, either, apart from a jokey one once, from AM and QC1.

Today has been different though. I've seen some posts on social media that have made me feel a little lonely, both in a general and a romantic way. I presume this has been brought on by lockdown, the pandemic and all that sort of stuff.

Ah well, let's get this out of the way and stuff our face full of pancakes on Tuesday, yeah?

'Member?

Every now and again, USHW reminds me or informs me of an upcoming speed dating night in my city. I'd mentioned an interest in trying it and time and again, it's never actually happened. Sometimes the nights have been inconvenient and other times I've been appalling at trying to get some company to tag along. My social anxiety means that I'm unlikely to go on my own. But I had considered CC, S and GM. CC and S would be ideal - they're within the age range that I'd be able to attend, so at least two of us going would be fun. (As an aside, while CC and S are on speaking terms, I'm not entirely sure CC knows why S refused a second date or that she was/is happy about it.)

This time, though, was different. USHW let me know ages in advance. Before Christmas, actually. On a night out with GM and FP, GM actually asked if there was something happening soon. I told him of the night that USHW had told me about and we agreed that we would go.

Then it fell off my radar. And this is an issue. Lots of things have fallen off my radar. Not serious things, but I have things I want to do, research, people to talk to... and I get side-tracked (usually in work) then completely forget about for a few days. Then I'll remember about it and the cycle repeats. It's not procrastination - most times I can't drop what I'm doing and tick whatever off my list. Sigh. I need to get started on getting some of this stuff done though.

Anyway... back to it. The speed dating thing fell off my radar until USHW reminded me about it at the weekend. I messaged GM, who took a while to reply. He couldn't make it - money was tight this month, he explained. I tried to think of a backup. CC is (figuratively) getting screwed to within an inch of her life, so is out of the dating game right now and S is, well, S. I wouldn't want to rely on S alone, but I'd consider asking him if I knew GM would be there. I think he'd be interested then.

And the speed dating night was tonight. Speed dating on Valentine's night. You gotta think that's going to provide a story or two, don't you?

Happy Valentine's Day!

An admission... I've never received a Valentine's Card. Well, strictly speaking, I've never received a serious card from someone interested in me in a non-platonic way. I did get one once from QC1 (and secretly AM) that was very much tongue in cheek that I really wanted to be legit. I had kissed QC1 at a New Year's Eve party only a few weeks prior, asked her out a few days later (was shot down) and carried a huge crush on her for far too long afterwards.

Even now at my age, a small part of me hopes that a card arrives on my doormat, even though there's no one remotely on the radar.

Arguably, I should have been at a speed dating night tonight with GM for moral support, but that hasn't panned out, for reasons I'll go into in another post, later.

Plans

So, KfW2 and I have a tentative date for our next night out, though it's not going to be until the middle of February. And, actually, that's all we have right now. "The middle of February"

My guess is that 16th - a Saturday - but that could coincide with KfW2 doing something for St. Valentine's Day (though she doesn't "celebrate" it, but won't leave her hubby). It might also coincide with GM's birthday though, like S, he doesn't seem to actually celebrate it that much.

BIG SIGH

There's something in the air. That something, dear reader, is a storm cloud. I feel that, any day now, KfW2 and I are going to have a fight.

We're working on a project together. I say "together", but really it's mostly her (excellent) work and I'm just doing some technical donkey work to help out.

Except communication, at least on a project basis, is not KfW2's strong point.

She's stressed about an upcoming deadline. I'm stressed about an upcoming deadline. She's frustrated that I'm not getting stuff done as quickly as she (or I) would like. I'm frustrated because she only drip feeds information or changes her mind without telling anyone.

A few weeks ago:

KfW2: Can you do X for me?
Me: Yup.
*Ruuude goes off to research X*
KfW2 (a few hours later): Can you do Y for me?
Me: I'm trying to get X done for you.
KfW2: Oh, I did that already.
Me: *silently* FFS.

Today:
KfW2: Can you do Z for me?
Me: Yup.
*Ruuude goes off and starts on Z, which will take all day*
KfW2 (a few hours later): Can you do A for me?
Me: I was doing Z.
KfW2: Forget that, do A instead.
Me: OK.
KfW2: (20 minutes later) Have you done A yet?
Me: No, nothing's working, I'm trying to figure it out.
KfW2: *list a couple of things to try*
KfW2 (5 mins later): Have you done those things I suggested yet?
Me: No, I was trying some other stuff

I know she's frustrated. If she pulls this off she gets massive amounts of kudos. But she's all over the place, doing ten things at once with most of the knowledge in her head. I like getting one or two things done and moving on. But having her chop and change and breathing down my neck is making me frustrated and often giving me little information to start. She doesn't have to tell me for the tenth time when the deadline is... I know!

Sigh.

Also: what a great Valentine's Day post.

Valentine's Day etiquette?

"Is it this Wednesday that you're out with CC?" I asked. KfW2 looked insulted.

"Nooooo! It's Valentine's Day!" she declared.

"But you think it's nonsense. Hubby thinks it's nonsense. So why treat it differently?"

"It's no wonder you're single" she teased.

"But if your marriage has proper romance in it, then you shouldn't need to worry about this one day. You two do loads for each other!"

"Yes, but you still can't do that on V-Day. I can't say to hubby that I'm off to the pub*"

"I don't see why not, if both of you feel the same way," I mused.

"And again, you're the single one," KfW2 laughed.

*Cocktails followed by the latest 50 Shades of Grey movie. KfW2's hubby won't know what hit him at 11 PM on Thursday night.

Pondering.

Unlike Christmas and especially the New Year period, as a long-term singleton, Valentine's Day isn't a big deal for me. I don't get more lonely in the same way that I do at Christmas, for example.

But that hasn't stopped me looking through Tinder and the other online dating sites/apps. Someone has popped up a few times - stunningly attractive with piercing blue eyes. She was described to me as a blonde Emma Willis, which is a great description of her. I've not yet matched with her on Tinder, but she is very much someone that I would like to meet, ignoring a couple of things (namely religion and kids).

It turns out that she used to be married to a high profile (where I'm from) sportsman. I found this out by accident when looking through the website of my local newspaper and saw an article about her.

Add to that the recent spotting of Orlaith McAllister as well as a nationally renowned clothing designer, then it seems to me that there seems to be fair amount of high profile/successful women on Tinder locally.

This is just an observation. I'm not suggesting anything.

Does this translate across the rest of the UK, I wonder?

Socially speaking.

Recent events, discoveries and realisations have added to my usual funk and I need to get out of the house, to be social. Luckily, this weekend is our monthly work thing which may be good fun. CH won't be there (CH is part of the current problems), but the two cute girls I "pestered" at our work Christmas party in December might be there and it'll be fun to see if they say anything.

I'm also meant to be meeting up with D and Opinionated Guy for our annual Superbowl party which will also be a welcome distraction.

Add to that a big night out imminently with KfW2 and a less-imminent but no less drunken night out with M and MM (though not E3 or MMBF sadly) at the end of February and socially it's looking good for February. I just have to avoid Valentine's Day... though maybe getting GM and S out on Valentine's Day might be good fun.

Grrrr... Part 1.

It's been far too long since I was out with GM, so when he sent a late invite to a birthday bash this weekend, I was quick to accept. I had made arrangements with S - we had a few drinks on Friday night and planned what we were going to do on Saturday.

Just before he (S) arrived, he broke some bad news - he was bringing out his whining, self-obsessed friend. I was saying to KfW2 at the end of last week that I couldn't make up my mind if it was a strength or a weakness in character that S is so loyal to his friends. I'm sure I've posted before how his small group of friends is the centre of his life and he won't break his routine with them if something else comes up.

For example, I only managed to get him out on Friday because his usual Friday night thing got bumped due to Valentine's Day.

Right from the start, S's friend annoyed me. He has strong opinions on everything but is usually factually incorrect. When things go wrong, it's always someone else's fault, never his. We decided to walk to the bar to meet GM. Cue moaning from S's friend. If things don't go exactly the way he wants, there's just a constant stream of whining and bitching.

Thankfully, when we got to the final bar, he disappeared to see some other supposed friends and we didn't see him for the rest of the night. I think S has finally realised that I really don't like this person as I think I really went over the top in my criticism of him throughout the night.

General musings.

Tomorrow is St. Valentine's Day. I've never really celebrated it, mainly because if I've been dating at the time, the women involved haven't made a big deal of it. I can't recall too many women I've been dating on 14th February, though. 

Plus, if I am blowing my own trumpet a little, I didn't need to make some token gesture on February 14th as I was always quite good in general at making random, surprise gestures of my affection.

The only anonymous card I ever received wasn't legitimate, instead being a bit of a prank from AM and QC1 (back in the days when I had real feelings for QC1). I didn't find out for months though until AM let it slip one night when we were out in the pub.

I always wanted to get a proper, anonymous card from a cute girl who would eventually reveal herself to me but it never really panned out. Maybe because it's not seen as something women do?

That kinda leads me on to online dating. There hasn't been much movement, to be honest. I'm still sitting on about sixteen messages sent with no reply. I've had a few emails from women, but no one who's really piquing my interest. KfW2 hasn't really mentioned it either recently, so the motivation has really just ebbed away.

The frustration with online dating continues, not just because of the mechanics of the whole thing with the various restrictions on the sites, but also because of the mentality of women. Even on a dating site, women rarely seem to take any initiative, so the number of women willing to make the first move is incredibly small.

I'm due to go out with S tomorrow night where we'll hopefully head to a local bar that I want to spend more time in, just for a chat and a few drinks. Nothing particularly rowdy because we're meant to be heading out on Saturday night with GM amongst others. I'm looking forward to the weekend, but I sense a bit of a funk on the horizon as well.

St. Valentine's Day

I got two cards today. Well, e-cards to be more accurate. One was from USHW, a friendship card, which was extremely thoughtful of her (and much appreciated). 

The other was from, well someone else, someone unknown. It was, well, not a friendship card. Heh heh.

No!

So, it's St. Valentine's Day tomorrow. I'm neither sending nor expecting anything (though am quite willing to be surprised). There aren't even any real targets. PD's still kinda floating around, but that's not looking as if it will develop anywhere and anything else is, well, just never going to happen. 

I did toy with the idea of sending PD (and a few others) an e-card earlier, before giving up on that idea. It did mean that I did find this cool e-card site: http://www.grtz.net/grtz/index.html It's well worth taking a look at.