Oh no.

I had two separate dreams that involved KfW2 last night. I think they both followed the same kind of them. In the first, we were at a party. I might have been hosting it. And I was trying to chat to KfW2, but she was proving elusive. If I tried to make my way across the room, she'd be gone by the time I got there. If I tried to talk to her, she'd make an excuse to be somewhere else or talk to someone else. And a general feeling of us becoming more and more distant with each failed attempt to talk.

I woke early this morning, around 6 AM, and tried to get back to sleep. I did eventually, around 7:30 AM, and had a similar dream, though these details are much more vague. I think I was in a caravan that I owned, KfW2 and her family were there, but I couldn't get talking to her for a number of reasons.

I was planning on calling KfW2 today anyway because of the aforementioned family stuff, but I think those dreams will mean I do make more of an effort to find the time.

Sigh.

More family stuff happening, which is probably going to be the start of more serious issues in the upcoming months, and I will have to either phone or email someone over the next few days and shout at them.

Interesting.

According to a meeting that I was in earlier, it looks like the Tall Woman (who might have been hitting on me at a work Christmas party about ten years ago) is likely to become my boss within the next few months. Probably around the start of August.

As I've posted before, I don't think she remembers (she was horrendously drunk), so I don't see it being a problem. There are other aspects that are concerning about this, but Tall Woman being my boss is not one of them.

Oh yes.

Ideas Girl has already leaked the details for the work summer party. It's at the same place as last year. We had a good time last year, with Quiet Girl, Stalky Guy and another couple of people hanging around afterwards and getting a much later train home. The weather was good too if I recall correctly. Fingers crossed for more of the same thing year.

I still have the memory of QG laying her head on my shoulder on the train on the way home. That's not helping the loneliness. I do not have a thing for QG (well, maybe a little crush), but it's not QG that's provoking the loneliness, but the action itself.

Grrr.

I'm tired. It's work-related. I've been trying to solve a problem for about a week now and while I am making progress, it's slow progress. And really, it should have been sorted quite a few days ago. my boss isn't saying anything, which is good, but I'm still pressuring myself to get this sorted ASAP so I can move on to something else.

I would take some time off, but a) I can't really until this issue is sorted, which is probably a day or so away, b) I have a 2 week training course starting next week and c) shortly after that, at the start of July, I have a week booked off for personal time anyway. 

I just need to get this bloody problem solved. 

It's raining, meh.

I'm toying with the idea of going to the local shopping centre. I don't have anything to buy. Actually, that's not strictly true. I don't need anything, but there are a few items that i could pick up, and I would pick up if I were out and about. Whether that justifies me going shopping is another matter.

But it's more a case of me going out to get outside and stretch my legs. I've not really gotten into the exercise plan for my back that I put together a few weeks ago. I have made a point about being a little more active in general, but I do need to target this back issue.

However, the weather's rubbish. If it were nice, I'd walk there. It's just over a mile away, maybe about 20 mins walk. But with the rain, it's a bus journey.

I need a shower anyway, so I'll decide after I get showered and changed. The shops don't open until 1 PM. The weather is sucking my enthusiasm though.

A-ha!

I found myself going through an old MSN conversation with A earlier this afternoon. I remembered us being quite open with each other, but the conversation was quite explicit. A was fresh off her "secret" relationship with the guy who was fucking K on the side. She was on match.com, trying out online dating, before online dating was actually a thing. Plus it was the early stages of her relationship with the guy who would become her husband, and who she couldn't get a read on at all.

It was notable for being around the time of a few interesting social nights that I might have blogged about before - a night out with G where we met some cute women and a night out with my sister and brother-in-law (and Friction Guy) where I met and had really intense chemistry with another cute woman. I'm almost sure I've blogged about the former, maybe not the latter though.

Anyway, A was being very explicit about a lot of things - her failed attempts to fuck the now-husband, her chesty Match.com photos, the now-husband's oral skills, her general horniness levels (the good weather gets her frisky), how great her tits were, and her concern that her holidays, the now-husband's holidays and her imminent period would take sex off the table for at least a month.

I'd completely forgotten that she was that forthright about stuff. But that kind of stuff never fazes me and unlike UHSW who was testing boundaries when we first started talking, I think A just liked that she could talk about whatever she wanted without pushing me away simply because she was talking about, for example, her period.

Woah!

This happens quite often: I posted yesterday about not having spoken to KfW2 in ages and how I'd planned to call her today. Well, guess who called me this morning? Yup. That seems to happen quite a lot, both ways.

We spoke for quite a while, covering topics such as our families, CC, work. KfW2 again suggested that we should meet soon, but she seemed adamant that it would be lunch, not dinner.

Part of me wanted it to be dinner. An evening out with kfW2 would be fun. An afternoon out with KfW2 would be fun, too, but I think I'd prefer an evening. I don't know why. She also suggested a Friday. She's off work on a Friday. I am not. I could take time off, quite easily. I have taken time off for social things in the past.

So, anyway, mild disappointment aside, we could be out before the end of the month. I'd like that. 

Long time, no speak.

It's been ages since i last spoke to KfW2. I know she's off tomorrow, so I might give her a call and catch up on life and see if there's any movement on us getting dinner and drinks.

Guess what?

WhatsApp group update: still no further messages apart from one from AM's husband that mentioned my favourite local band.

I can't say I'm surprised. I'm documenting this more to share with you, dear Reader, about how bad they've been.

More Memories

Facebook reminds me that it was a long time ago where I returned from Chicago on a last-minute work trip. It was where, arguably, my friendship with KfW2 began. We'd met before but never really talked. On this trip, though, we'd spent some time together and actually had conversations.

Our friendship didn't actually take off for at least another six months and it wasn't as smooth sailing as I had thought. Something that KfW2 didn't admit for a couple of years.

But there are photos posted on Facebook from the trip that have appeared on my timeline today. Good memories.

Eureka!

I can't remember the exact details around it, but a memory popped into my head earlier. My sister and mum were in town and I had taken them out to lunch. I think it was at the bar where R2 worked, but I'm not 100% sure on that.

What I am sure about is that they left and I had an afternoon off, and I did find myself in the bar where R2 worked, chatting to R2. It was midweek so the bar was quiet and she had plenty of spare time to chat.

I'm also pretty sure that's the afternoon where I decided to go to university, or it was the catalyst for my decision. R2 was easy to talk to, so an afternoon of chatting about my career plans (or lack thereof) was an easy way to pass the time.

So by the time I'd finished a few pints, a number of hours later, not only was I feeling fairly optimistic about things, but I had a rough idea of what to do, who to talk to and what I'd need.

I'm pretty sure I got a hug, too. 

The day after the day after.

I think spending some time with Quiet Girl on Friday night has sparked a feeling of loneliness. I was off-kilter for a lot of yesterday afternoon which I initially just put down to being drunk the night before and not getting enough sleep.

But as the afternoon wore on, it started feeling like something rather than just a vague apathy/melancholy that I sometimes get after a good night out with people.

And it's not Quiet Girl herself, but rather wanting to meet someone. She was talking about going to gigs with her husband and how the music festival I mentioned in a previous post was her favourite weekend of the year. And I think it was that conversation that kicked off the funk: I want to meet someone where I can do stuff like that. And if that's a romantic partner, then all the better.

The day after.

The work event was good fun. Unsurprisingly, I spent most of my time chatting with Quiet Girl. We also had some chat with a woman who I was convinced was about 25 but she claimed to be "nearly 40". I was also very drunk. To the point where I didn't enjoy it. I like being tipsy. The weight loss over the past year plus not really drinking that often any more has really damaged my tolerance.

Anyway, QG and I made some tentative arrangements for the end of June when there's a music festival across the city. I doubt they'll come to fruition, but they're out there. 

So, a quiet day planned. I see the sofa and football in my future this afternoon.

Saturday Night... what?

A bit of a weird dream last night. Most of the details are gone, but it featured FA2, KfW2 and random stuff like being backstage at Saturday Night Live, with the cast and guest stars. FA2 and KfW2 seemed to know each other and be friendly and that sparked some jealousy on my part, but most of the other details are gone.

Eeeeeek!

So I got the guy out to finalise the plans for the house work and I've paid a deposit and I'm scared. It's a lot of money. But it's work that needs done and it'll add value to the house (not that I am looking to sell) and it'll make a world of difference when the dark and cold nights come this winter.

And once that's done, I'll need to turn my attention to the kitchen, which is another expensive job. Sigh. but, again, having a new, bigger kitchen will make life an awful lot better. 

Let's not go :(

D's just messaged to say that he can't make it for Saturday night's planned event. He has a family thing out of town which means he won't be in town for the thing he was originally planning on attending which then means he won't be out for drinks afterwards.

I'm pretty sure that also means that Friction Guy won't be out.

The plus side is that if Friday night gets messy (work thing with Quiet Girl and others) then I have all day to recover without worrying about meeting D in the pub at 5 PM.

Let's go!

The guy got back to me with an all-in-one quote for the work I wanted to get done and it's right on the limit of my completely arbitrary price point. I said I'd call him back in 24 hours, which has already passed but I have been super busy with work. I am going to call him and tell him to progress with my order when I get ten minutes to myself.

The work won't get done until next the end of the summer, but I'm OK with that - as long as it's done before the nights draw in and it gets colder. And that shouldn't be a problem as long as I do call the guy before the end of the week.

Good and bad.

I went out for a walk with Nerdy Girl last evening. It was a slightly extended walk - about 4.5 miles, instead of the usual 3-ish, partly due to the weather, partly due to me wanting to push the limits a little with building up the strength in my back and leg muscles (which is a contributing factor in my ongoing back pain). 

She was great company as usual, we adjourned to a juice bar afterward and talked for an hour or so. But I am feeling it this morning, and not in that good "exercise pain" way, but in a "my back is killing me" way.

Sun's out.

Bit of a last-minute invite to my sister's for a BBQ yesterday. The weather here for the past few days has been great.

BBQs mean beer and I'm afraid to say that I might have over-indulged. And even though it's a Bank Holiday here in the UK, I'm working.

I'll log off early though and go and read a book in the back garden. It'd be a shame to waste this good weather, right? 

FFS

I bought some stuff during the week to make cocktails. Espresso Martinis to be more accurate. But can I find my cocktail making kit? I know I had one. I ordered one off Amazon years back when I had my cocktail night. It's unlikely I would have thrown it out. While I am not a hoarder, I also don't throw stuff out unless it's broken or it's been replaced with something else.

Man, this is frustrating. 

EDIT: I found it. I looked up the order on Amazon, recognised the box that triggered a memory and I had it in my hands within 30 secs.

Oooft.

We had a team-building event yesterday that involved an escape room then a trip to the pub. I was drunk, dear Reader. The first time in a long time. I can't remember the last time I was properly drunk. Maybe the last time I was out with FBS and that crowd?

Anyway, it was a good night. I spent a while chatting to the tall woman that I've posted about a few times before. The one who might have made a drunken approach at a previous work event. I don't think she really remembers that.

I met a few other work people from other teams and offices and they were all really nice.

I could do with going back to bed, though. Drunk sleep + waking early means a very tired Ruuude.

Cheers!

Last week, I questioned Ideas Girl about the lack of work events over the past few months. She promised to see if she could arrange one for this month, but i held out little hope. However, on Monday, IG pinged me and said that she'd gotten permission. Could I suggest anywhere? I gave off a couple of suggestions and left it at that.

24 hours later, I was chatting to Stalky Guy "complaining" about IG going quiet when an email from our organising committee landed in my inbox.

Next Friday then.

I quickly messaged the usual group of people about going out. IG was saying that the funding was our social events was being slashed, so it makes sense (to me) that we get numbers out to show that we still want these events.

Quiet Girl is on holiday, but I sent her a text message. She was quick to reply. She wants to come out, too.

Hopefully next Friday will be fun. 

Cautiously optimistic.

So the guy came out yesterday and took some measurements for the work I want done. I'm clueless when it comes to even guessing what this type of thing costs, but I had a random number in my head. I was chatting to G about it on Saturday. The number is my "I can definitely afford this" number. Any more than that and I would have to put some thought into maybe tailoring the work - getting less done or something. However, randomly, in a general conversation, the guy mentioned my number when chatting about something else.

"Oh, your work will be less than that," he was quick to clarify.

But he couldn't give me the quote there and then. He had a couple of things to do first, but he'd call me back.

Well... he did this morning. However I don't have the final price. He's given me the quote for the things I want done, but I also require some building work that he can't give me a figure for. If this extra work adds another 20%, then I'll be more than happy. That'll still be under my number and affordable.

I've got an email out there for another quote, but the base price from yesterday's guy seems fine to me, the materials are good quality (I did some online research) and both CC and S have used this company before, so I have confidence in the quality. 

The work won't be done until the end of the summer, which is disappointing, but the important bit is that it's done before the winter sets in. 

By the power...

I've said before that I'm not a He-Man fan in any shape or form. It was a cartoon from my childhood that I never got that excited by.

 

But, you know,  I might be tempted to go to the cinema to watch this for obvious reasons.

Checking in?

Remember the WhatsApp chat I mentioned a few weeks back? There's still no activity in it. The people who have started it have taken no responsibility at all for trying to arrange something. Why even bother?

Family ties.

I went to my sister's with a view to chat about some family stuff and ended up at my Dad's doing a clear out of the roof space.

We've thrown out a lot of stuff over the past few weeks. My Dad is a hoarder - though not one of those hardline ones that you see on TV. However, we did still throw out several TVs that were at least 30 years old.

I also found (and kept)  a few things from my school days. Specifically, FP and I arranged our end-of-school social - a party at a local nightclub with a live band and a DJ. As part of the clearout, I found some posters we'd created. We had grander schemes than just inviting our school which didn't really work out. But FP and I still ended up selling hundreds of tickets. Not bad for a Tuesday night.

I should photograph them and put them on social media. 

Happy talk?

We were only out for a few hours, but G is always good company. Our family situations, with respect to some family members, is almost identical, so we were swapping news and information based on that.

Additionally, he was telling me stories of his recent family holiday, which involved New York. I've posted before about NY being somewhere I'd like to visit, so I told him I was jealous and got some suggestions from him about things to do etc.

As I said above, we were only out for a few hours - a couple of drinks in total - but it was tough leaving the bar. I could easily have sat there for another few hours, putting the world to rights. 

Woah.

Another out of the blue text! This time from G.

We're going to meet for a coffee or a drink later this afternoon.

Very unexpected (I wasn't expecting him home again until next month) but very welcome.

Oddly optimistic.

Out of the blue, I got a text message from KfW2 last night.

"I still haven't forgotten. I think I'm free soon."

It's related to me "demanding" to take her out for food and drinks for her birthday. I'm delighted. For the past few years, this is something that drags on for months. And she insists that it's a joint day out to celebrate her birthday and mine. I don't really like this aspect of it. I want to treat her. We don't buy each other gifts, but pre-Covid, we would buy each other dinner.

But it's entirely possible that we could be doing something within a few weeks. Yay! 

WTAF?

Remember a while back I said I'd like to go to more gigs? Well, I've not done too badly, since I made that a goal. I could do more, and I will, but I've been to more gigs in the past 12 months than probably the previous decade.

Anyway, a band I like will be in town in September. I've just found this out. Tickets are already limited availability. I checked anyway.

£236 

Two hundred and thirty six pounds. 

What the actual fuck? 

Dream Girl.

Last night was a bit of a strange mish-mash of dreams. Plenty of people featured, but the context around most of them has already faded. The one aspect of the dream that I do still, sort of, remember featured CH.

We were at a bar, chatting. I think I mentioned something about the number of people who had been convinced that KfW2 and I were dating over the years. Not people who knew us directly, but those who kinda, sorta knew us and saw us out and about together.

In the dream, CH said something like:

"Yeah, I get that. I often have to correct people about my relationship with a close friend." 

I looked at her.

"You, dummy." She punched my arm.

Then she pulled me in and gave me a long, lingering hug.

I think there was more to it, but that's the bit I remember.

I do miss CH sometimes, but I think that's more the ambiguous touching/flirting and my attraction to her that went on rather than who she was as a person or a friend. Or the fact that it was clear that she had feelings for me. I can't remember the last time I had that, and it would be nice if I had that again. As a friend, I don't think she brought that much to the table.

But here are a few photos of Alison Brie in her "squint and she kinda gives off CH vibes" era. (I think it's definitely the smile.)

 I think my head might have exploded had CH worn a dress like that second picture.

Let's go!

Yesterday I sent off my first request for a quote for a big piece of work for the house. It's something I've tried, on and off, to get done for about 5 years. I've pivoted slightly this time. Instead of repairs, I'm just going for full replacement.

I got an email back, quite quickly, saying they'd call to arrange a date and time. Just waiting for that call to come in. 

Once I get that sorted, I'll see if I can get a second or third quote. But, much like the heating upgrade I got done before Xmas, if the first quote comes in around a figure I have in my head, I'm likely to just go ahead with it. 

Back at it.

While I've yet to do any of the exercises that I extracted from Chat GPT a few days ago, I have been putting other aspects of its advice into play: being more active, getting up out of my chair more, going for short, leisurely walks.

Walking to the post office yesterday to post a letter helps. Doing the favour for CC last night helped. They're not big things, but they help. I'd love to be out, doing some gardening this week, but the weather's rubbish. But that'd help, too. 

It advised taking things easy. My weight loss has also had an impact that I didn't get from Chat GPT but it was something that came up when I was cross-referencing its findings: I've lost muscle mass, too. And that could also be contributing to my back pain.

So I need to build up the muscle mass, which the exercises would help with, but general movement would also help.

It'll be weeks or months before I see some actual proper improvement, so this isn't something that'll be fixed within a few days, but it'll be a habit I have to re-form.

Plot points.

CC called me out of the blue. Well, not exactly out of the blue, because I tried to get her out for brunch a few weeks back, but that's the first contact we've had since... January?

Unsurprisingly, she wanted a favour. 

"I'll buy you dinner for it."

So I was sold.

It wasn't even that difficult a job: build some furniture. It took about 45 minutes. I think CC thought it would take longer. We adjourned to the nearest bar, which happened to be CC's local.

We chatted about various things: work, our families and TV. I don't watch a lot of (current) TV. I'm watching Daredevil at the moment and have just completed my annual rewatch of Community.

"I've started watching Euphoria" said CC.

"I've heard it's very good"

"Sydney Sweeney is in it. She gets her tits out a lot. It's a bonkers show."

"I can't say that Sydney Sweeney floats my boat, but I might give it a watch anyway."

"She what?"

"She's attractive. She has a GREAT figure. But she doesn't do it for me."

"Are you mad?"

"Not when I last checked."

And we moved on to other topics. 

Back to fitness.

I know that a lot of people look unfavourably at AI (or what's currently being described as AI: large language models, or LLMs). I admit that there are issues that I have with it, too. My job is increasingly at risk due to AI and I think it's entirely likely that I will be made redundant within the next five years as a direct result.

And don't get me started on AI-produced "art".

But it can have its uses if you know how to utilise it. That's half the battle. Creating a good prompt can yield incredible results, but writing a good prompt is a skill in itself.

For example, I could ask Google about chronic back pain.  Which would give me thousands of results.

Or I could write a comprehensive prompt, which is what I did. I described my pain, how long I've had it, the fact that I've not yet had a GP diagnosis, my own suspicions about my sedentary lifestyle being a factor and it give me a result.

To be fair, it did advise going to see a GP as one of its first comments, but it also suggested that my theory about my inactivity could be a factor. I then asked if there were exercises that I could do to help ease or remove the pain and it updated its response with a 6 - 8 week plan. I then added that I had some basic exercise equipment and listed it to see if that would change things, and the LLM made slight adjustments to add the equipment after a few weeks.

And finally, I asked it to create a collated collection of its responses with detail descriptions of the exercises in a printable format for offline reference. And it did that, too.

I still have to contact my GP, and it's still hugely advisable to double-check what an LLM tells you (as should be the case for any internet search, especially medical) but a lot of the basic exercises are the same as those in my Yoga programme. A cursory search looks like there's nothing massively incorrect in what the LLM has given me, so that's something to get on with, I think.

FFS.

Remember a few weeks back I complained about my sister's communication? Well, last night, around 11 PM, I got a text message.

Was I available to paint a fence? My Dad's fence, specifically.

As you may know if you read my last post, I had plans to today: carpet shopping. I also had plans to do some gardening and some cleaning.

I could  have said "no", but the work needs done for reasons I don't really want to get into on this blog. But 24 hours notice is awful.

I didn't reply until this morning. Not that my sister would have noticed as she barely carries her phone with her and even then she's awful at keeping it charged.

Anyway, I hurriedly did the cleaning this morning, or some of it at least, and will head over to my Dad's after lunch to paint the fence. It at least looks like a nice day outside.

Oh dear.

I have a confession, dear Reader. I didn't go carpet shopping per my plan that I shared yesterday. My plan was originally to walk to the carpet shop (probably about 2 miles from my house), grab a coffee on the way and just take it easy. However, the weather wasn't as reported, with frequent heavy showers. I could have gotten the bus most of the way there, but I really had my heart set on the stroll.

I contented myself with some further research about pricing, I did some basic measurements about how much carpet I'd need etc. and what I am prepared to budget. I am arguably better prepared to go to the shop than I was at this time yesterday. If the weather improves, I'll go tomorrow.

I also need to pull up the old carpet. I want to do that ASAP so I can prepare the floors - fix some creaky floorboards etc. That might be a job for an evening next week, 

Magic carpet ride.

I ended up taking tomorrow off work. I say "taking it off work", but the reality is that I've done my hours by 4 PM this afternoon, padded out with some time accrued from a few weekends ago. I'm looking forward to it.

The plan is to get a lie-in, a quick shower and then off to the local carpet shop to see about (finally) replacing the awful-looking 1970s carpet on my hall and landing.

I've already narrowed it down to a few, from online browsing, so it's just a matter of seeing them in person, arranging measurement and then fitting. I'm hoping that won't take any more than a few hours. I could be back in the house by lunchtime. 

Nooooo!

We haven't had a work event in over two months. I messaged Ideas Girl who's part of the organising committee and she shared that their budget had been slashed. That's disappointing. They've really cut our social budget over the past few years, but yet almost demand we go into the office "to chat and network with our colleagues".

We just can't do it on a Friday evening with a couple of drinks.

She also admitted that the annual summer party is likely to be a victim of the budget cut. I don't really blame them - it was expensive and, in my opinion, there was a lot of waste. However, a trimmed down summer party could be doable. I suggested this to IG, though I know she single-handedly arranges the summer party, so I was light on the observation about the waste. She liked the idea and said she's see what she could do. It'd be less like a summer party of old and more like a more posh version of our monthly event, and I'm all for that. 

All I really did at the summer parties was drink and chat to the likes of Quiet Girl. And that's what I do at the monthly events.

Urgh.

Remember that 4 AM start from this morning? Well, I have another one tomorrow. FFS.

The good news is that I should be able to take Friday off. 

Urgh.

Did I say that I had a 4 AM start this morning? On a Bank Holiday? It sucks, right? Well, if that's not bad enough, then I have another early start tomorrow. At this rate, I'll be finished by Thursday. I bet the weather's rubbish at the weekend.

Missed opportunity.

I forgot to mention that KfW2 left a voicenote yesterday after I'd told her that I wanted to take her out for food and drinks to celebrate her birthday (which was months ago). She said that yesterday would have been perfect as her kids had gone away for the day for a football competition.

But then she also admitted that she didn't get out of bed until near 1 PM. If we had arranged to meet, out time would have been really short - a couple of hours, max. But at least she was entertaining the idea, and she didn't mention making it a shared celebration, which is what she's done for the past few times we've done this.

She doesn't get that I want to treat her, because it is her birthday. It used to be our thing - we'd not buy each other presents or anything, but we'd treat each other to lunch or dinner. It also meant, that if we did separate events, I'd get to see her twice. In recent years, that's become much more difficult. This year has been different. We've seen each other about four times already, and I'd like that to continue even if I've not seen her since the end of February.

Chat Watch (con't)

After last night's post, I woke this morning to see a few notification in the chat. Apparently the chat creator forgot all about it. AM's husband and QC1 have both posted, but no-one's actually suggested anything.

And also, after last night's post, I think I will have to call the dentist. There's no pain, but there is a noticeable hot/cold reaction when drinking. So I think I'd like to see the dentist quicker than my scheduled appointment. 

Chat Watch

So, it's been like 36 hours since I was added to a chat with AM, QC1 etc. and still no-one's said anything. This is weird, right? This isn't just me?

And in other news, not chat-related, I might have to visit the dentist. I think a bit of tooth or a bit of filling has fallen off. There's no pain, but it will need looked at. I do have a scheduled appointment at the end of the month, so if there are no issues, I can hold off until then. if not, then I'll have to see if I can see my dentist before then. 

Let's see...

Digging deeper into the AM group chat has revealed that it wasn't created by AM or her husband but by a mutual friend. Still, no-one's said anything in the chat since I was added. It's all the usual ones: AM, her hubby, QC1, her hubby, a friend of AM's from university and an unknown number.

I'm not going to say anything. I'll just let it play out. AM's only really arranged one thing that I can remember and even then she got all angry and petty because she went to a restaurant where I didn't like the food.

That annoyed me, because I'd spent years making arrangements only for her to cry off at the last minute or demand adjustments to pre-arranged plans.

So, yeah, I'm being passive on this one. Again.

Long time...

No-one's said anything in the group chat yet, though people are still being added. Due to a busy work week, I'm logging off for the week in about 20 mins and I'll treat myself to breakfast at the cafe just round the corner. I realised, when I made that decision, that I've not seen CC in ages. Months, in fact. And while I do complain about her being self-centred at times, recently she's been a lot better. So I fired her a quick message to see if she'd like to join me. She replied quite quickly. She's not available. Just me, then. I'm getting quite peckish.

Ooooooh.

I'm in the middle of a work call, so I can't really check my phone, but I've just had a notification from WhatsApp that I've been added to a group by AM's husband. It's only taken, what, two years since AM promised to "do something soon".

A two-fer.

For the past two nights, FA2 has featured in dreams. In Sunday night's dream, I was in the city where she lives and I was looking for her, but I never found her. In last night's dream, I was working in her city, but with my current workmates. On a work night out, she comes into the bar where we're drinking and I explain our history to my colleagues.

I've not thought about FA2 in a while, so featuring in two dreams in a row is interesting.

Working the core.

D prompted FBS for some dates where we could go out, but it transpires that she's not available until the start of July, with travel plans and family commitments.

I messaged D separately and suggested if he wanted to meet for drinks, seeing as he's in town, I'd be more than happy to meet up. He said that Friction Guy was going to the same day time thing that D was, so there's a real possibility that he could also tag along.

Out of all of us who worked in the same place all those years ago: me, D, FBS, Friction Guy, QC2 and Opinionated Guy, I'd say that me, D and Friction Guy would be the core group (from my perspective). It'd be nice to head out, just the three of us. It must be 20 years since that happened.

Back to back.

I did another few hours at my Dad's house today. It's good to see the work having a real impact and the back garden looks presentable again after years of neglect. However, the fact of the matter is that my back is in worse shape than I realised.

While I woke this morning in better shape than I had anticipated, it didn't take too long for the discomfort to kick in. Specifically, the walk to my Dad's house. It's not that far: just under a mile and a half and it's pretty level. So, not that taxing a walk. But my back was already starting to give me grief.

So three hours later with some mild physical labour and the return journey and I can barely move. I definitely need to call my GP and see about getting this fixed.

FFS?

OK, so I take it back. No sooner had I posted my last blog entry than my sister texted. She was already on her way to my house to pick me to head to Dad's.

We got a couple of hours work done, but there's much more to do. A lot more than I had realised. My back's also taken a beating. So while I can feel a slight burn of sunburn (it was a really nice day here), I can also feel my back start to stiffen and become sore. That's not going to be great tomorrow. 

FFS.

Today didn't get off to a great start. Remember that 4 AM call? Well, technical issues meant I couldn't get online. I gave up after two and a half hours. I went back to bed, tried to sleep (unsuccessfully) and got up at 9 AM. I was able to log on, but the call had long ended and all the tasks required of me had been done by other people.

I sent an email to my manager. I'm not expecting fallout to come my way, but it's always best to be transparent. The fact I couldn't log on or get any kind of tech support is worth reporting regardless.

I also had to phone my sister. She was meant to call and let me know if she was going to be at my Dad's house. She's the only one with a key. I was semi-surprised not to have heard from her by now, so I called. She wasn't feeling well, had yet to decide if she was going to go to Dad's and would let me know.

But now I kinda feel like I can't do anything myself. I could do some gardening or go shopping, but a call could come in at any time. That's frustrating. My sister is always like this: unreliable and uncommunicative. It doesn't help when you're relying on her to make a decision/plans and she can't communicate.

Quick Digest

I did call KfW2 at lunch and we spent 20 mins or so, chatting. I think that's the the first time we've spoken since I was at her house about 2 months ago. Our calls and texts are getting more infrequent, and she doesn't really interact on social media any more (not that I am massively active on Facebook). I should follow up over the weekend see about getting her out properly for food and drinks.

I also did get the gardening done. Well, about 80% of it. I have some tidying up to do, but the equipment I need to do it is at my Dad's house. I'm meant to be heading over there tomorrow, so I could get the work done by the end of the weekend.

FBS has already replied to D's text message saying she's unavailable on the day that D's suggested for drinks, but she's not offered up any alternatives.

And finally, thanks to some guy in work who's been a massive PITA over the past few weeks, I have a work call to attend tomorrow morning at 4AM. FFS. These use to be fairly regular when I was in the same team as Stalky Guy, but in my current team, these are almost unheard of. 

Let's go!

D's just sent a message. Do we want to meet for drinks at the end of next month? I've checked my diary and I've got nothing on, so I've replied that I'd be interested.

Blast from the past.

Years ago, when I was an active participant in online dating, I got a message from a woman on OK Cupid. That was unusual. Women, in my experience, never open a conversation or make the first move. It was a "proper" website, too. Not an app. So there was no "match" to indicate a message was incoming.

Anyway, she seemed pretty, had decent curves and great, colourful hair. When I shared her pictures with USHW, she admitted to some hair envy. We messaged for a bit. She seemed fun, had a decent sense of humour but there wasn't that level of attraction that wanted me to take it further. The conversation fizzled out after a couple of days, IIRC.

Another point worth mentioning that is pertinent is that pretty much every bar in my hometown these days has some kind of music act on: guitarists or DJs. And they're loud.

So when one of my favourite bars in Belfast (the one where I had my actual date with Recruitment Bird) posted on Facebook about a new all-female DJ collective, I nearly passed it by. The "music" scene in my hometown is a scourge if all you want to do is meet friends and chat. But one of those women looks familiar. It has been ten years, but is it?

Yes, it is! The girl from OK Cupid with the hair! 

Whoops.

Bugger. I told KfW2 that I'd call her last night and I completely forgot. We've played phone tennis over the past week. She texted me, for the first time in ages, last Friday around this time. So that started the phone tennis. I've got another half day off work today, so I'll give her a call at lunchtime before I start the gardening. 

Chillax.

It's been a long week, so I've taken an afternoon off. It's not costing me any time because, as I said, it's been a long week - literally. I could have pocketed the time and used it later, but it's a dry day. I'm waiting on a package being delivered - some of those clothes I mentioned a few posts back then I'll head to the local shopping centre to do some shopping (more of those clothes I mentioned a while back).

I have another half day tomorrow, but that's been earmarked for the gardening work that I want to complete when it's still meant to be nice, but a little bit warmer and more conducive to being outside because it's a bit chilly today despite the sunshine.

Not quite right...

I can't remember if I've posted about this before, but I had a random memory earlier today about a Saturday afternoon spent with FBS and a few others in the pub. The night before, I had been at D's house, having beers and playing video games.

I seem to recall D making a point about FBS being out with BW and a few others and why I wasn't with them. D was one of the few people who knew that FBS and I had been fucking. I knew he knew. He knew that I knew he knew, but still, I never really admitted it to anyone.

So, the next day, I arrived at FBS's house, which we'd preplanned. We were meeting D and others in town. Why I was at FBS's and not D's, who only lived two streets over, and closer to my house is lost in the mists of time.

I knocked on the door and BW answered. I can't say I was surprised. I would say that 90% of the time BW went to a bar, he went with a plan to meet a girl. He didn't know about FBS and I, so to the best of his knowledge, FBS was available. I'm willing to bet that he'd tried it on. 

He had kipped on the sofa. FBS was nowhere to be seen. It was silent. I couldn't even tell if she was still asleep. But it was rapidly approaching lunchtime and I wanted to get into town, grab a bite somewhere and hit the pub.

While BW made himself presentable and tidied the sofa, I went upstairs and knocked on FBS's bedroom door.

"Are you awake?"

"Yes. C'mon in."

FBS was lying in bed.

"Get your arse out of bed. It's time to meet the rest."

It wasn't really. We had about an hour or so, but that allowed time for FBS to get ready, perhaps shower and get a bus into town.

"Yes, well, not with you watching. Turn around."

I'd forgotten that FBS had made two surprising claims about her sleeping habits. The first was that she didn't have a "side" of the bed. She just went to bed on whatever side was closest when she was ready. The other was that she slept naked. 

I'd already seen her naked at this point, but this was months after we'd last spent the night together. She wrapped herself in a dressing gown and opened her wardrobe.

"Is BW still downstairs?"

"Yeah."

"OK, I'll get ready. Go downstairs, I'll be 20 minutes."

The thing is, while I am 100% that this happened, some of the details of my memory feel off... not quite right. Like the night with D, playing video games, feels like it was the middle of winter, while the next day arriving at FBS's house feels like today: not quite spring, but dry, bright and just a little cold. Given our recent history and how it ended - I wouldn't say I ghosted FBS, but we didn't spend a lot of time alone once she admitted she wanted more than just casual sex - so me turning up at her house months after we last fucked and being cheeky enough to walk into her bedroom and demand she got out of bed also feels off.

Ah well, it's a pleasant memory nonetheless. 

Confused.

A few months ago, I pondered on the blog about the attractive blonde woman that I knew from primary school selling a car due to moving to Australia and her subsequent (and ongoing) presence in my online dating feeds.

And today, on Facebook, she pops up again, this time with a link to an estate agent, selling a house. A very nice house, too. Is it hers or is she doing someone a favour?

The ongoing online dating presence doesn't seem to align with a move to Australia, and her online dating presence doesn't give off "casual" vibes either which is the only way I could see emigration tie into online dating.

Long time...

I was pinged by a girl from work. It was the girl from this post. We've not spoken for ages, so she was asking if I still attended our monthly work nights out. I replied that I went to most of them. The last one she was at was the one mentioned in the above post. but she said she was interested in going out to the next one.

I'm hoping that's the end of next week. We didn't have one in March for some reason, which was annoying because I really wanted to be social (i.e. go out, have a few drinks and a bit of banter). 

Suits you sir.

It's unlike me, but I've gone on a bit of a clothes buying spree this week. I bought a waterproof jacket last week in a clearance sale, and when it arrived and fit perfectly, I then bought a heavier one for next winter. I've also bought a couple of t-shirts and a couple of pairs of jeans.

I think that's my clothes buying over for the time being apart from one thing: short sleeved casual shirts: my summer clothing preference. Once (if) the weather turns nice, that's what I tend to wear. I've not bought a short sleeved shirt in years - since before Covid, actually. Carrying the extra weight always put me off buying clothes unless I absolutely had to, and now that I've shifted a lot of the extra, I could do with something new.

Twiddling my thumbs.

Off the back of yesterday's post about my Dad's house and my sister, I'm torn between calling her and letting her call me. I'm also toying with finishing off the work in the garden, maybe 90 minutes worth of effort, though the weather forecast is for regular showers. The weather forecast also says that next week is meant to be consistently good from Monday, so maybe I just wait until then? I think that's the best thing to do - I'll pencil it in for Monday evening.

I'm also waiting for a parcel that's due to arrive between now and 4PM. I can't really afford to miss it - it's already being redelivered as I missed the knock on the door yesterday, thanks to a demanding co-worker.

So I'm not going anywhere until that's been delivered. 

Grrr.

As part of the ongoing family stuff, my sister hinted that she was going to hire a skip to help my Dad do a complete clean of his house and get rid of all the worthless, useless rubbish.

"If you're not busy, come over and help!" 

I say "hinted" because she told me this yesterday. To the best of my knowledge, getting a skip with 24 hours notice is almost impossible.

So do I go over to my Dad's place tomorrow on the off-chance that my sister managed to order a skip and get it delivered? Should I call my sister to confirm that everything's going according to her plan? Should I wait for my sister to tell me that a skip will be delivered on a specific date?

You'd think the latter, right? Except my sister (and brother-in-law) are fucking awful at communication. They're inconsistent (they'll say one thing then contradict themselves the next time the subject is discussed) and half the time they don't bother because they forgot or they assume the other has been in touch.

I've been accused in the past of not communicating well (in work, mostly, and somewhat unfairly I think), but I think that when it comes to logistics: organising, arranging etc. that I am very good, no excellent, at it. 

So it always frustrates me when this kind of thing is half-arsed. 

Go away.

Part of the problem at my workplace is Microsoft Teams. I compare it to the proliferation of mobiles phones. People feel that they have a right to your instant attention just because you use it.

In the past, people would send an email asking for me to do work/favours. Now, it's a Teams message and because they have engaged you in conversation, they think they have your focus and attention to the detriment of my other workload. 

 Yesterday, I was due to leave work at lunchtime. At 1145, I did the decent, polite thing and let the other person know that I was leaving the office. Bear in mind that the small favour they'd asked me to do on Wednesday afternoon had already taken me a full working day and was nowhere near completion.

"Can you do this before you leave?"

"Can you get someone else to cover for you while you're out? We have a deadline"

"Can you do this other thing?"

I logged off at closer to 2PM than 12PM with the work still incomplete. Will there be a shit show on Monday? Who knows?

All I know is that I have already gone above and beyond. I have spent 1.5 working days doing an hour's worth of work because other people don't understand what happens outside their own little sphere.

I hate Microsoft Teams, or rather, I hate the etiquette around it that enables people to feel they have your instant attention.

Water off a duck's back

Luckily, Nerdy Girl's sofa wasn't heavy and it didn't need to moved too far, so my back was just about up to the task.

We didn't do a walk afterwards - there was torrential rain and by the time I got to NG's house, I was soaked through. We ended up in a coffee shop where I had a hot chocolate and a donut.

We chatted for a few hours and then I called it a night - my clothes were still damp, my feet were soaking and I just wanted to be dry and warm.

But it was great seeing NG again. It must be over a month since we last saw each other.

Back to back.

I've agreed to meet Nerdy Girl tomorrow evening for a walk, weather permitting. About an hour after that, she sent another message. Could I help her move a sofa? I responded positively, but I'm having second thoughts. I had some groceries delivered earlier and I struggled to pick up a 24 pack of Pepsi max cans.

I think my back's in a worse state than I realised, but I don't want to let NG down. I am tempted to 'fess up and give her a chance to get someone else to help, but part of me wants to try. 

Sisters

I saw this picture of Daisy Ridley and the person who popped into my head wasn't the person I thought it was going to be. In the past, I've mentioned that E's sister kinda, sorta looks like a cross between Daisy Ridley and Kiera Knightley.

And there were times where DR also gave of E vibes, too. Specifically in The Force Awakens.

So, yeah, it wasn't ES who popped into my head when I saw this picture, but E herself. When I first met E, she had short hair in a style not unlike that pictured below. But it's a weird hybrid in the photo - definitely E vibes from the neck up, ES vibes from the neck down. ES is slim, like Daisy Ridley, and out of the two women, she's probably the one most likely top wear something like that, being an ex-model. E is not as tall as ES, but has more curves.

And, of course, I love women in suits and below is a great example. 

I should reach out to E, it's been months since we last swapped messages.

Hmmm.

I do hope the apathy, that I mentioned in my previous post, fucks off. I have a busy week this week that includes an appointment related to the health thing from Wednesday, a walk with Nerdy Girl, a trip into the office on Wednesday, a couple of house things (mainly asking for quotes for work) and I also have the feeling that there's something I've forgotten.

I didn't go to the opticians. It was a logistics decision instead of an apathy one. On an ordinary day, the bus to the shopping centre passes every 10 minutes. On a Sunday, it's every 30 minutes. So having to work around that alone wasn't worth it for a 10 minute trip into the opticians.

Meh.

For some inexplicable reason, I got hit with a huge wave of apathy yesterday that's still hanging around today. Well, apathy and funk. And I don't know why. Most of the time, when I get into a funk, I can pinpoint what made it happen or the general mood that led to it. Not this time, though.

It's likely a combination of several things, but not one thing is screaming out to me as being the main culprit.

I've managed to get some washing done, I also managed about 45 minutes of garden work, left over from midweek, before the rain started. (Still a couple of hours to do, though, and couldn't do any more as my grass bin is full and won't get emptied until Thursday). And even this small achievement isn't making me feel any better.

I got a text message yesterday from my opticians that my replacement glasses have arrived, and I could (should) go and collect them this afternoon once the shops open but the apathy is still here. I'd have to shower, change into "going out" clothes instead of these "household chores" clothes I'm currently wearing and then catch a bus. And part of me is like "Meh, do it tomorrow".

Woohoo!

I've spoken about them before, but one of my favourite local bands is playing CB Pub at the end of June, according to Facebook. It's a Sunday afternoon, strangely, but that wouldn't stop me from going. I went with M a few years ago, on a Friday night, but he was unavailable last year. I'll maybe fire him a text message this weekend about it.

Typical.

With the family health thing distracting me on Wednesday, I wasn't able to get everything done that I wanted to in the garden. With the weather forecast not looking too great for the next week, I had planned on getting as much done as I could after logging off for the weekend this afternoon.

The weather forecast had predicted rain from tea time, so that gave me a couple of hours to finish off what I wanted before the weather turned.

Except the forecast was wrong. When I logged off at 2:15, the wind had picked up and it had started to rain. FFS.

It looks like the next spell of dry weather could be about 8 or 9 days away. Fingers crossed.

Indulging.

Unfortunately, I was in a position to satisfy my admiration of women in scrubs last night. I mean, it's rare that you get a chance to admire women in scrubs under good circumstances.

And I have to say that there was a lot to admire compared to the last time I "indulged". The doctor that I was specifically dealing with looked really familiar. It took a few hours before it clicked. She reminded me of a woman that I used to work with about ten years ago. Like, really reminded me, to the point where they could have been sisters.

She was super nice, even when dealing with a troublesome patient (not me).  

Interesting.

In an interesting turn of events, there's a slight possibility that the tall drunk woman who came on to me at a work Christmas party ten years ago might be my new boss. Things in work are going to change next month, and that's something that's been mentioned, though nothing is currently set in stone.

She was very drunk, so I assume she doesn't remember. 

Cuddle up

While the Easter weekend is memorable for a lot of reasons - mainly afternoons spent in bars, trying to get around the archaic local licensing laws, probably the most prominent memory is sleeping with FA2 for the first time.

I don't know if that played into my waking memory this morning, but I woke thinking about FA2, about waking beside FA2. But not for sex, just to cuddle and chat. I've undoubtedly posted before about missing that kind of physical contact and how much I am touch starved, but there's something to be said about waking beside someone, cuddling and chatting.

Amaze amaze amaze.

I've always been interested in space. The black stuff in the night sky, not being left alone (though that's not bad either, in moderation). So I was delighted when I found out that Netflix was live broadcasting the current Artemis mission to the moon.

I've been sat here, in front of the PC, with Netflix on. There's not a lot to see visually, but I'm finding this absolutely fascinating. Years ago, I was absolutely jealous of KfW2 who was in Florida when the last ever shuttle mission landed at Kennedy Space Center in Florida, though she never actually went to see the landing.

It's been nearly ten years since FP and I went to Kennedy Space Center when we were in Florida, which will always be one of my all-time favourite memories. Going to KSC was something I had on my bucket list and it's not every day you get to tick something off that, is it?

Dated memories.

Randomly, about an hour ago, Date No. 1 popped into my head. Well, semi-randomly.

There was a post on Reddit that said (I parpahrase): 

"What are your expectations on a second date if the first date was kinda plain?" 

Which reminded me of the date I had with date No. 1.

Date No. 1 was pretty. I was attracted to her. The conversation flowed easily enough, but it was vanilla. But that's me. You want to get to know me, know my sense of humour, my flirty side? It's highly unlikely you're getting that on a first date. I don't know you well enough.

So, yeah, I wanted to see Date No. 1 again, but she refused. Ah well.

Anyway... that's why Date No. 1 popped into my head in the middle of the afternoon. 

Back at it.

We've just been through Storm Dave, which has meant wind and rain. To be honest, it kinda feels like wind and rain is now our standard weather. But! We're due a spell of a few days of dry weather, with Wednesday meant to be both dry and warm. So that's the day I'm planning on doing some gardening - my first of the season.

I'm not sure how much my back will come into play - mowing the lawn and other small bits and pieces shouldn't be too bad. It'll only take a couple of hours, tops, as well, so it's not like I'll be at it all day. 

Sigh.

While I know that it makes sense because you're booking a room, it still annoys me that I have to pay a premium to stay in a hotel.

Check in as a couple into a nice boutique hotel, it's £150 per night for you both.

Check in as a single person? It's £150 per night.

Booooo!

Yes, I'm bored, unmotivated and creating holidays that I'll never go on. 

 

Counting up.

Four people put their name forward for the steps challenge that I mentioned before. I decided that I'd bow out and leave the other three to it. I don't think that suddenly upping my steps from 3.8K to 11.1K per day is just something that I can do within a few days, and maintain that over a month.

So, I'll spend it trying to increase my step count instead. baby steps. No pun intended.

Fingers crossed.

I had hoped that this weekend would see our regular monthly work thing. It's been a long month and I quite fancied some drinks, socialising and a bit of banter with Quiet girl and that group of people.

I forgot it was Easter weekend, so that's never going to happen. Maybe next weekend then?

One step at a time.

One of the guys in the office has suggested we do a "1 million steps" challenge. Essentially it's a challenge where a team of three attempts to do 1 million steps in a month. That's 333,333 steps per person, or 11,111 steps a day, at least. 

Bear in mind that my current average for last year is 3837 steps, then that means I need to do 3 times the number of steps that I'm currently doing.

I've said that I'll take part if we can get a full team. The goal is tough enough with having to increase it by 50% if there's only two of us.

Oops!

I was going to make a post about how I slept really well last night and didn't wake until nearly 10 AM. It was only when I sat down and started typing that I remembered that the clocks changed last night and I "lost" an hour.

But I didn't lose an hour's sleep because I still slept longer than usual, by about an hour. It seems I'm still catching up on the past few days.

Urgh (but also, let's go!)

I slept well last night, but I still woke early due to having a coughing fit at 7 AM. Usually, I'd try to get back to sleep but I knew immediately that that was me for the day. So I'm up, showered and ready to go. There's adulting to be done today and I am strangely motivated, so let's go.

With regards to the coughing fit and the current lurgy, the cough is gradually getting worse, but there aren't really any other symptoms to speak of. Let's hope that continues. A sore throat/cough I can deal with, but my eyes have a tendency to get sore when looking at screens when I get a cold (or similar illness), and that's my job, so I'd like to avoid that.

*yawn*

The illness I reported a few days ago hasn't really gotten any better (or worse for that matter). The lack of sleep over the past few days hasn't helped though. I should have logged off from work a couple of hours ago due to a few long days this week, but the urgent work I mentioned before has only now been resolved.

I reckon that means an early finish at some point next week. 

Urgh.

I've not slept well over the past few nights and I am really feeling it today. I woke early this morning but got back to sleep. In this second spell of sleep, I had a dream. It featured two women from work. One of them was Quiet Girl, the other was a girl I've worked with briefly who gives me Kate Mara vibes.

We were at some kind of work retreat, Quiet Girl was being her usual friendly self. Maybe a little more tactile than usual, but nothing out of the ordinary. And the Kata Mara girl was also getting friendly. There was nothing more, just the three of us being a trio at a work event.

I woke up with a headache - a lack of sleep - and a desire to take today off work and get a lie-in, but I have too much urgent work to complete to even consider it as an option.

Room with a view.

Facebook has been throwing up some random things recently. Most are pages I've zero interest in - the algorithm is a mess. It's also, for some reason, started showing me local hotels. The travel bug is hitting hard, but I've not been looking at hotels local or otherwise. The main picture was a local hotel. A nice one, too. And now the travel bug is really kicking off. And I'd quite like a lottery win so I can stay in rooms like this. But preferably one that's somewhere warm and sunny.

Ideas.

As someone who can't drive and works from home, I reckon it's about time that someone started a company that sold coffees door to door, maybe like an ice cream van. Surely that'd be a huge money maker?

Oh... and maybe something similar, only a butcher? I know I can get meat from Tesco and the like, but better quality meant from a butcher. What an idea, especially coming into barbecue season.

Cough, cough.

Yup, I'm definitely coming down with something. The cough is more pronounced today, my eyes are watering and I'm a bit wheezy in the chest. Sigh. That'll teach me to leave the house.

And I'm meant to be going to my sister's this evening to help my nephew with some computer stuff.

And I'm meant to be in the office tomorrow.

Let's see how this works out. 

Cough.

I think I might be paying for being social at the weekend. I woke this morning with a minor headache, a blocked nose, a tickly throat and a bit of a cough.

I'm hoping that I'll shake it off soon. I've always been relatively resistant to cold and flu-like illnesses which never really develop beyond these kinds of minor symptoms. Even the few times I think I've had Covid, it was little more than a lack of energy and, during the first time, a lack of smell and taste for a week.

I'm also meant to be at an event this evening with BR and his wife, so it'd be nice if I didn't get more unwell in the next six hours.

What if...

I'm blaming the booze for a weird dream I had last night. It was a scenario that I've dreamed and blogged about before: the weekend I originally met USHW. I think I blogged about a recent version of the dream that involved both USHW and K. Last night's dream just involved K.

It was a bit of a "What if?" scenario. I've already blogged many times about how K and I had hooked up, how she wanted to properly date whereas I just wanted something casual and how that effectively ended our friendship.

Well, in the dream last night, we had gone down the casual route, meeting every few months in cities across the UK for fun. As a result of that, in this alternative universe, USHW was never offered the opportunity to share the hotel room. And so when the weekend rolled round, it was K who shared the hotel room even if she wasn't attending the social event that required the hotel room.

It was kinda weird. Despite over analysing things at times (you should see some of the conversations between USHW and me when I was trying to bed Sports Girl), what might have happened with K is something I've never really revisited. I've no idea what "something casual" might have looked like with her.

So, it was a bit of a frustrating morning, but I do like the reminiscing sometimes. 

Nice to meet you.

It's been a social weekend. As blogged yesterday, I met up with G ostensibly for coffee, but it turned into a couple of pints.

The night out with The Crowd ended up being just me and S. FC and Mrs FC got unexpected guests and couldn't make it. GM was always an outside bet - he had previously claimed to be skint this month.

With that, I was nearly texting S to see if he wanted to meet up. S can be difficult at times - a lack of maturity - meaning conversations feel shallow and typically film-related. But he was good company last night and the conversation flowed easily.

And then today, my youngest nephew had asked me for a favour, so I went to visit. My brother-in-law asked me to stay for dinner, so we had a few drinks and chatted.

I'm knackered, but despite being an introvert, I do enjoy weekends like this. I get out of the house and I don't feel like I've wasted my weekend by sitting in front of the TV or at the PC, doing very little.

Wow.

Wouldn't you know it? A text message from G at 8 AM. He's home this weekend and wants to meet for coffee or lunch. I'm expecting a few parcles to arrive, so I'd like to be in the house when they arrive, but luckily, they're all scheduled to be delivered by lunchtime.

I've told G I can be available from about 2 PM if that suits him.

Just waiting to hear back from him. 

Overdue

I've been expecting G to be in contact for the past few weeks. When he was last home in January, he had said he'd be returning in March, so I've been expecting a message from him every Friday for the past few weeks.

I had offered my spare room for a place to stay as he said that it was getting a bit tough always landing down at his sister's. I don't know if he'll take me up on it, and if he does, I hope he gives me more warning than he's done the past few times he's been home.

Let's go!

A week or so back, I suggested to The Crowd about meeting for drinks. it must be six months since we last did it. Everyone seemed keen, though GM claimed a lack of money, so would have to pass this time around.

Today, I followed up to see if people were still interested. I think it's still the same: everyone's keen but GM definitely can't afford it.

I suggested that we might stay local if GM is not coming out (S, FC/Mrs FC and I all live on the same side of town). There are about seven bars we could choose from, including CB Pub, and I don't mind any of them.

I'm not in a rush to make that decision, i just wanted to make sure we were still meeting, which seems to be the case. 

Green with envy?

With it being the day after Paddy's Day, Facebook is full of memories of past days. It's the women who stand out: Foreign Girl was 11 years ago. She was great fun. 15 years ago there was a near miss with a girl that I regularly saw on Plenty of Fish who ticked a lot of boxes: tall, nice figure, brunette. I didn't talk to her, and I can't remember if I even tried. On the same day, one of RB's friends came out because MF was out. She was cute in a Joanna Garcia Swisher kinda way. And there are pics of KfW2, who inadvertently wore a thin black top that didn't hide her blue bra when the flash went off.

It's been years since I went out for Paddy's Day, but I don't recall there ever being a bad day out. Even the day where it was only KfW2 and I and she was pregnant was a great day out.

FFS

I knew this was going to happen. I got my eyes tested a few weeks back. I knew that my eyesight had deteriorated, though I'm not strictly due an eye test until September. But off I went to the opticians. I explained about my eye sight and what my needs are: a set of glasses for being out and about, and a set specifically for sitting at a desk looking at a monitor an arm's length away.

The optician talked me into a new set of fancy lenses for the office work. "Office lenses" they called them. Varifocals but with a much shorter focal range: up to five meters.

"I'm not sure that's right for me"

"They get rave reviews" 

"But still, I don't need a range of vision, I literally spend all day either at home or in the office looking at a monitor which is exactly this far away."

I move my arm out in front of me to indicate the distance. It is literally an arm's length.

"They'll work" declared the optician. 

I picked up the glasses this morning.

They do not work. The varifocals are great for up close or far away (2 meters), but for that sweet spot for my monitors, any slight movement of my head makes everything out of focus, even more than with my current/old glasses.

It's not a case of getting used to them. They're just not fit for purpose (for me). 

I'm gonna have to go back to the store this week and give them the old "I told you so" speech. At least I should get some money back because plain lenses are cheaper. 

Over the top?

I'm just back in the house after staying over at KfW2's house last evening and then going to see two of her kids play football. Her kids have wanted me to go to a football match for ages, so I was happy enough to do it this time around. And remember that post I made a few days ago about KfW2's gratitude? Well, there were hugs. KfW2 is tactile as standard and we hug a lot, but there were a couple of extra ones in there. She really was very appreciative. A lot more than I would have thought for what I thought was a small favour.

It's not like they were celebrating a big wedding anniversary or something. It was "only" a charity pub quiz that they'd signed up for.

I'm not complaining. I like getting the compliments. I like helping people out. I love hugs. But the reaction still seems a little bit excessive. 

Gratitude.

Whatever frustrations and criticisms I have with KfW2 (which are mainly around how little I've seen her over the past few years), she's always been very good at being thankful when she feels gratitude is required.

And this favour I'm doing her tomorrow is no different. She was very thankful when I initially agreed to babysit tomorrow evening and she's just sent another message thanking me and helping her out and asking when I'm coming down.

A thought has already crossed my mind, and I can't remember if I've already mentioned it, but I've seen more of KfW2 in 2026 than the past two years combined. 

Normality.

Six years ago, to the day, I walked out of the office not knowing if I would be back in on the Monday. I had told all around me, including my bosses, that I was expecting things to shut down quickly and that we wouldn't see each other for a while. They were dubious, but I grabbed everything that I thought I'd need: cables, pens, notepads etc. And despite not fully admitting that I was right, I saw them do the same.

24 hours later, I was out with FP at CB Pub which only had a fraction of the people it normally would for a Saturday night.

48 hours later, while KfW2 was visiting in the afternoon, the call came in: the office would be shut for the foreseeable future, and that was the last time I was in the office full time.

And this is the new normal. 

Sigh.

Work has taken a turn. A deadline that's going to be difficult to hit because we only heard about it today... despite the fact the other team who are making the demands knowing about it for weeks and not simply sharing that detail with us.

No... instead, they tell their boss who tells their boss who tells their boss who tells their colleague who tells their underling who tells... you get the picture.

Is it any wonder the company is haemorrhaging customers?  

Please?

A text message from KfW2. I knew instantly that she was going to follow up and ask for a favour. And she did.

And I agreed to the favour. It's at the weekend and I don't have any plans.

She's really pleased. She always is.

So that's Saturday night taken care of. 

Dream a little dream.

I woken this morning to a semi-remembered dream. It was something that actually happened: a night out with MM and MMBF. They were out celebrating their birthdays (they were born only a few days apart), and MM messaged me and asked me to join them.

What happened in real life was that we chatted, MMBF added me on Facebook (or was it the other way around?), we moved to a different bar after the girls insisted I do many shots, MMBF went missing for about half an hour before reappearing, then MM and I got a taxi and went home.

In the dream, MMBF got very tactile and when MM suggested getting a taxi home, MMBF made it perfectly clear she wanted me to hang around.

I kinda woke up at that point.

I'd always wondered if MM had any ideas about that evening. M was nowhere to be seen, so it was puzzling why I got an invite out. I'd never been shy with M or MM about saying that I thought MMBF was attractive, though I think we all agreed she was too high maintenance for me. And at least one conversation from that evening was MM trying to talk MMBF into not talking to a guy that MMBF admitted was no good for her. So had she any plans for me and MMBF? She never admitted to anything and I never saw anything from MMBF to think that anything non-platonic was on the cards.

A pleasant start to Monday if nothing else, though. 

Regrets?

A question was asked on Reddit a few days ago: "When did you regret leaving a SO?"

I replied that I didn't regret leaving someone, but there was a person where I had second-guessed the timing. The person I was thinking of was CAB. As I've no doubt explained before, we always had an expiry date. She was going to go away for university and I had no desire to have a long-distance relationship. At best, we had six months, though I pulled the plug around the three month milestone.

Had I thought it through, I probably should have just kept on dating her. She was good fun, we had some great private fun even if there was never any actual sex (not through a lack of trying on our part) and I could easily have spent the summer going to bars with her, because that's really all we did. 

A thought that only crossed my mind recently was that we didn't feel like a couple, she felt more like a FwB to me. Was that just our vibe or was her imminent departure for university at the back of my mind and putting a barrier up against any real relationship growth?

But a pleasant enough memory. And here's a picture of Anna Kendrick giving me some serious CAB vibes:

Ups and downs

Family stuff reared its head again today, though thankfully it wasn't serious and only took a few hours to resolve. It did, however, allow me to indulge in my appreciation of women in scrubs. 

Vibe day

It's a dry, bright, sunny day where I live. While it's warmer than it's been recently, it's not objectively warm. But from where I work in my home office, it looks warm. It's what KfW2 calls a "greenhouse day". It does give off real Spring vibes, and Spring puts me in a good mood.

Guess who?

In a fit of boredom in a work meeting, I fired up my phone to play a game. One of the benefits of working from home, I guess. It was a word game, though this fact is unimportant to this actual story. I just wanted to share that I like word games.

Imagine my surprise when one of the in-game adverts fired up (for a local university) and who am I looking at? Only CH!

I wasn't quick enough to grab a screenshot, but hopefully it'll appear again soon, then I can send it to her and see if there's any banter to be had about her being an internet superstar. (There won't be, but I remain the stubborn optimist.)

Back and forth.

For the first time in ages, SSCW was in the office. We got talking, as we do, and quickly fell into our old rhythm. That usually means that I take the piss out of her and in return, she tries to be outlandish to get a rise out of me. It's never worked though, which I think annoys her a little. Everyone else that she's worked with has quickly fallen into her trap.

Her "in your face" attitude is just an act, but few people have actually realised that. Stalky Guy is genuinely scared of SSCW.

I've met her outside of work on a couple of occasions and she's been really... normal. I recall one night I was out with QC1 and she was genuinely interested in talking to me rather than getting a rise out of me. 

But people are always intrigued by our... I want to say chemistry, but I'm not sure if that's the right phrase to use. 

It was great seeing her again, though. 

Walkin' and talkin'

Another night of broken sleep. That's been a factor recently. But another semi-remembered dream, this one featuring KfW2. In it, we were walking around an old European city. I don't know which one, but the weather was glorious and we were just chatting about general stuff.

I don't think there was an actual point or theme to the dream, but that's the general vibe I remember about it. It, as you might expect, reminded me of the nights where KfW2 and I would go out, drink heavily and chat.

I owe her a night out for her birthday. I should maybe try and pin her down for a date, though that's probably not going to be until after the Easter holidays.

See this?

The problem with getting old and having bad eyesight is that glasses are expensive. And my eyes are suitably wonky that I need two pairs of glasses: one for doing my job (i.e. sitting at a desk, looking at a monitor) and everyday glasses for being out of the house and needing to see further than the end of my arm.

I'm fortunate that I get some money back from work - about 20% of the cost of my glasses and eye test, but it's still not a small amount of money and it's still a PITA to claim back. 

Hmmm...

I was chatting to CC a few days ago about some of the work I was planning for the house this year. Surprisingly, she was rather supportive rather than being her usual bossy self. That also prompted me to look at some smallish chores I wanted to do, like (re)paint my bedroom ceiling, and a few other small tasks that I keep putting off.

A few years ago, I had a leak in the roof which dripped water onto the ceiling of my bedroom which has resulted in a couple of patches of discolouration. I had always planned to paint over it as a short-term solution once the roof was fixed (which it has been for a while now), but really, the ceilings probably need replaced.

A while back, I'd actually taken the first step and  gone over the affected areas with a sealant. Today, years later, I managed to do the second step, but it looks as if it won't work. I can still see the staining quite clearly. It might be that it will require a second coat, but I am not being optimistic about that, and I'm wondering if it's even worth the effort if I am going to replace the ceilings.

Remember?

I was only out with Quiet Girl, Stalky Guy and the others for about 2 hours, but it was fun nonetheless. Quiet Girl is a hugger, so I got one when she arrived and another when I left. She's not a bad hugger.

For the first time in 18 months, her friend was out, the one that may have asked me to get in touch but I was too drunk to recall if I imagined it or it she actually did.

She wasn't as cute as I remember, so I wouldn't say there was a lot of attraction there, but she's good fun.

Wince.

The back's in a bit of a state today. I think it was the gig with D. I was standing mostly still for nearly three hours. Despite the common advice for back stuff being to be active and move, I don't think that standing still counts. It was the same when I played pool with Nerdy Girl on Monday.

Memory Lane Again.

There was an announcement on Facebook about a band playing a local venue near the end of the year. It's a band that I was a huge fan of back in the day, so my interest was piqued. I wasn't even sure they were still active, never mind touring.

I think I've posted about them before in a post about AM and her university friend, Music Friend.

I think I'll probably go to the gig. Part of me wonders if Music Friend will attend, but as she's married with kids and lives out of town, I really doubt it. 

Plans.

I've just been speaking to D about Friday night. He's going home after the gig rather than staying over, so my plans are to meet up with Quiet Girl for an hour or so, have a few drinks and then meet D at the gig venue.

Potentially, I could meet up with the work people after the gig, which isn't going to go on too late, but I suspect QG will have gone home by that stage. She's not a big drinker. Neither am I these days. Three Pina Coladas and half a dozen beers were my limit on Saturday night at KfW2's (though there may have been some additional factors, if you know what I mean).

Nope.

No, dear reader, playing pool (as mentioned in my last post) did not help my back in any way. If anything, I think it's worse.

Pool party.

Sleeping on KfW2's sofa has really done a number on my back, which wasn't in great shape to begin with. I had hoped that the favour I had done for her a few weeks back, which ended up in my walking probably about 12 miles more than I normally would, would have helped my back. I am still operating under the assumption that being sedentary for the past 18 months is the cause of the issue, but being out and about more seemingly hasn't helped.

I was contemplating cancelling again on Nerdy Girl as she was suggesting a walk, but the weather has turned, so I think we're going to meet and play pool instead. I don't think that's going to do my back any favours, but who knows? Maybe the bending over the table/stretching might be a good thing?

Spitting Image.

When I arrived at KfW2's house last night, she was already drinking cocktails with a neighbour. Pina Coladas, in fact. Classic KfW2. However, that's not the talking point. The talking point was that KfW2's neighbour was the spitting image of CAB. We ended up persuading her to stay and it was a fun night. I've not been that drunk in a long time. I don't like being drunk, but I called it a night before I got too drunk. Back home now and an afternoon on the sofa, watching TV is the plan for today.

Just stuff.

I'm heading to KfW2's tonight for drinks and food. As far as I am aware, OP will also be there. I've commented before about how often this pairing seems to happen. Regardless, despite my regular complaints about not seeing KfW2, this will be the third weekend in a row that we've met.

None of it was what I would classify as quality time, but it's been great seeing her nonetheless. 

Oh, and in other news, apparently Alexandra Daddario has split with her husband. No reason to share that other than have a reason to post a picture.

Provocation?

I was reading Reddit earlier and a post in a Men's sub asked the question about turning down an attractive friend.

I instantly thought of the evening that E3 kissed me, at the end of M's birthday party. What I didn't put together until today were the parallels between that evening and the first night I kissed FA2.

On the evening I first kissed FA2, I was out with another group of people that included FA1. FA1 and I had a bit of chemistry, but I could never tell if that was translated into actual romantic interest. BW was meant to be out, but there was no sign of him when we all met in the early evening. Eventually BW turned up, with FA2, nearly three hours after the rest of us had met. By that time, I'd been chatting to FA1 for a while. I'd ruled out any interest on her part due to the fact she'd recently started dating a new guy. But as I said, we'd always had chemistry, so the conversation flowed easily, and that was how BW and FA2 found me, deep in conversation to the point of being oblivious to anyone else around us.

At M's birthday party, while there was a group of old school friends in attendance: G,BR,E3 and others, I was being more of a social butterfly. I was chatting to some of MM's friends, including MMBF who was looking mighty fine in one of her figure hugging dresses. There was a bit of low-key flirting going on. Both M and MM knew that I had a bit of interest in her, but I think we all agreed that we probably weren't suited from a personality perspective. On more than one occasion, MM's friends had me on the dance floor.

There are strong similarities in both nights - me being fully engaged with other, attractive, women. So, it struck me earlier. Was it my behaviour with MMBF and FA1 that prompted E3 and FA2 to make their moves? Another similarity was that I didn't see a lot of E3 or FA2 at that point (that changed with FA2 after this night though).

These boots...

I'm feeling a bit run down and de-motivated in work (though for no actual reason that I can tell). I've cancelled meeting Nerdy Girl tonight because I'm really low energy, and I spent an hour this afternoon looking at nice hotels in various cities in the UK and beyond because I'd like a change of scenery. Ho hum.

Quick update

Just a couple of things: firstly, it's USHW's birthday today. I've already texted her, but HB anyway. Lovely weather, isn't it? *wink*

Secondly, BR has been in touch. BR and his wife are going to be in town in a month's time, so we may get the chance to get some food and catch up. That should be fun. It's been ages since I saw BR and his missus.

Let's go!

I'm meeting with Nerdy Girl on Thursday. It's been a while since we've seen each other. The start of January maybe? That's a while. So I threw out some options for later this week and we've settled on Thursday. Maybe food, maybe drinks, maybe pool. We've yet to decide.

She might even bring out her "new" girlfriend (they've been dating for about 18 months, but she only got introduced to people at Christmas).

Under where?

I came across a picture of Alison Brie earlier. It's probably a picture that I've posted before on the blog, though this version is in black and white rather than colour.

She's wearing a vest top and some boy shorts underwear. I've always liked boy shorts on women. I've always liked vest tops too, if I am being honest. There's a certain style of boy short, too, that really does it for me. Not the style pictured below, but a more low-cut style. Is "low cut" the correct phrase? I dunno. I know in my head what I mean, though.

Take the ones pictured above, with the same leg, but the waistband doesn't go as high. A slightly skimpier version. Oh yeah baby.

HB FBS

It's FBS's birthday today. She's three years younger than I am. Back when we briefly fucked, she was a lot more wordly wise than I was. She'd moved out of her parent's house quite young. She had, by her own admission, gone through a rebellious streak. She didn't have a great relationship with her Dad. She'd taken a lot more drugs than I had. Her body count was much higher than mine. And she'd already been engaged.

But she was always positive and optimistic. It's the one thing I would say was her defining characteristic.

Anyway, I sent her a message earlier, wishing her a Happy Birthday. 

Back to basics.

I had thought that the favour I was doing for KfW2 this week would get me on my feet more, and it has! I had hoped that being on my feet more (I'm walking about two miles a day more than average) would do something positive for the ongoing back issue that I've been having for months now.

I had assumed that the back issues were due to my sedentary lifestyle and some actual movement and exercise would help it.

But it's been a week now and I don't think my back has shown any kind of improvement. 

Romance is in the air...

I woke this morning thinking about K. Or rather an old MSN conversation with F about K. F was congratulating me on keeping my distance from K one weekend we were all in Glasgow. This would have been roughly six months after I had sex with K and she a) demanded a relationship and b) refused to accept that my reasons for not wanting to go down that route were genuine, despite being told by friends (specifically F) that they were completely valid.

K was adamant that she was going to bed me. She never said that to me directly - that was a conversation she had with F. And if memory serves, I don't actually recall her making any obvious move that weekend. If it weren't for her behaviour as described above, I'd have gladly gone to bed with her again. She had talked a good game any time we'd discussed sex. But I wasn't doing it when she was pushing for something that I couldn't, and wouldn't, give her.

So errr... Happy Valentine's Day, yeah?

Oh dear.

Wouldn't you know it? I log on to my laptop this morning to a message from Quiet Girl.

"Are you going to this? I'm going with my friend."

It's our monthly work thing. And, yes, that friend.

FFS.

"I might pop in for a couple of drinks, but I'm out at a gig that night"

And then we started talking about other things. But the timing is not great. I've been wanting to meet QG's friend again since that night just over 18 months ago.

Like a bus.

I started thinking earlier about our work night out for this month. If my guess is correct, that'll be two weeks from tomorrow. So I was contemplating whether or not Quiet Girl would be out. I quite fancy being social this month.

Then I remembered that I am out with D that night at a gig. The night before that, I'm meeting a few ex-colleagues for dinner and drinks and the weekend before that I'm meant to be at KfW2's (unless she's forgotten).

So not bad at all. Definitely the most social I've been this year. 

*strokes chin*

For the first time in ages, someone I know popped up in one of the online dating applications that I use. This time it was the attractive athletic woman I knew from primary school. I've definitely posted about her before. It was interesting because I thought she was meant to be emigrating to Australia. She had popped up on my Facebook feed in September, selling a car due to a relocation. Maybe it fell through, maybe she was selling/advertising on behalf of someone else. But I think it's fair to say that if she's on online dating apps, that she's not moving to Australia any time soon.