For the first time since I started this blog, I can actually write a goals list that won't have one of my recurring goals on it. The housing situation is resolved, and should be pretty much permanently resolved. That, though, has kicked off a whole new set of goals that arise from living on your own - decorating and making my new place my own.
The ongoing Sports Girl thing is not a goal per se, but the recurring one of trying to find someone most definitely is. That's not to say that the SG thing goes away - it doesn't. SG could provide a "fix" that I need, but it's not a solution. Well, not a goal. All I can do is try and maximise the chances of something happening, which is definitely a goal.
The physical fitness thing is another goal. I have things I want to do - stuff that I had been doing before and had been successful with, but had fallen away due to sports injuries etc. I just need to get some decorating done to free up a room in my new place, then I can get started in anger.
And, I can't really think of anything else. That's not a bad thing. Those three above are fairly major (and two of them are time sinks as well). Maybe having fewer goals means more chance to achieving them?
Oh! But before I sign off and post, one more sprung to mind. I want to take bigger steps forward in my professional career. I have been moving forward, but in a more organic way. This isn't getting me the results I was hoping for though, so I am going to try and make some headway by being more pro-active.
And that's it, I guess.
Belated Happy 2016 everyone!
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Updates and the end of the line?
Friday saw our regular night out resumed - GM, Sports Girl and a plan in place to hit a couple of our favourite bars. SG mentioned dancing. She wanted to dance.
GM was being his typical, indecisive self. He didn't know if he'd come out, though I knew better than that. SG would talk him into it.
I was right, SG turned up with GM in tow. That's neither a good or bad thing, but I had hoped that SG would be on her own. We've had some decent conversations recently, but nothing in person - it's all been via text message. I wanted to see if we could sit and have a conversation, face to face, over a drink.
And I wanted to try and gauge the interest levels - while I've not really been encouraged by the signs recently, I am still trying to figure out if a friends with benefits thing is viable.
That's all hard to do when there are others there and the focus is more on fun than anything else.
Beyond SG being a lot more tactile than I remember her being in recent times, there's not an awful lot to report about the night. We didn't get to hit all of the bars we wanted to and there was no dancing.
Last night, I suggested that SG came over to mine for a few drinks partly simply for some company (I was feeling a little lonely) and partly to address the topics I wanted to talk about the previous night. She turned it down but quickly suggested we hit the town again.
I wasn't really in the mood for it, but it was an opportunity to spend some time with SG. I got ready and watched the TV with a beer... and another beer... and another beer.
Eventually I asked her what she was up to. She replied that she'd gone out of town to meet with a guy she'd previously dated and then threw out the comment that she needed to date again. My comment about being annoyed at her was semi-ignored and the dating comment could potentially rule out the physical thing I was looking for.
This annoyed me - she had implied she was going out, with me. It didn't bother me she was seeing an old boyfriend, but it annoyed me that I had eventually come around to the idea of going out and was looking forward to it, only for her to be doing something completely different and not telling me. Regardless of whether it's a friend, a romantic partner or family, reliability is a trait I very much value. This kind of flighty, random nonsense annoys me. CH pulled something similar a while back that frustrated and annoyed me immensely at the time.
But it's given me something else to talk to SG about. She says she needs to date again, but recent conversations have indicated she doesn't like dating and that she's not ready for a serious relationship. She's a good looking, sexy woman. She'll get plenty of offers if she signs up to dating sites (again).
GM was being his typical, indecisive self. He didn't know if he'd come out, though I knew better than that. SG would talk him into it.
I was right, SG turned up with GM in tow. That's neither a good or bad thing, but I had hoped that SG would be on her own. We've had some decent conversations recently, but nothing in person - it's all been via text message. I wanted to see if we could sit and have a conversation, face to face, over a drink.
And I wanted to try and gauge the interest levels - while I've not really been encouraged by the signs recently, I am still trying to figure out if a friends with benefits thing is viable.
That's all hard to do when there are others there and the focus is more on fun than anything else.
Beyond SG being a lot more tactile than I remember her being in recent times, there's not an awful lot to report about the night. We didn't get to hit all of the bars we wanted to and there was no dancing.
Last night, I suggested that SG came over to mine for a few drinks partly simply for some company (I was feeling a little lonely) and partly to address the topics I wanted to talk about the previous night. She turned it down but quickly suggested we hit the town again.
I wasn't really in the mood for it, but it was an opportunity to spend some time with SG. I got ready and watched the TV with a beer... and another beer... and another beer.
Eventually I asked her what she was up to. She replied that she'd gone out of town to meet with a guy she'd previously dated and then threw out the comment that she needed to date again. My comment about being annoyed at her was semi-ignored and the dating comment could potentially rule out the physical thing I was looking for.
This annoyed me - she had implied she was going out, with me. It didn't bother me she was seeing an old boyfriend, but it annoyed me that I had eventually come around to the idea of going out and was looking forward to it, only for her to be doing something completely different and not telling me. Regardless of whether it's a friend, a romantic partner or family, reliability is a trait I very much value. This kind of flighty, random nonsense annoys me. CH pulled something similar a while back that frustrated and annoyed me immensely at the time.
But it's given me something else to talk to SG about. She says she needs to date again, but recent conversations have indicated she doesn't like dating and that she's not ready for a serious relationship. She's a good looking, sexy woman. She'll get plenty of offers if she signs up to dating sites (again).
Wednesday, January 06, 2016
Knowing me, knowing you.
Things have taken an interesting turn with Sports Girl. Neither bad nor good (possibly slightly good) but definitely interesting.
It started, as it usually does, with a question.
"How long have you been single?"
I answered, and it kinda took off from there. I didn't get a chance to say the things I wanted to say - to steer the conversation towards dating in general, what SG is looking for, maybe get her views on casual sex because, off the back of briefly talking about dating, she was telling me about a guy she'd met a couple of times and was being a bit full-on. Seemingly, this was the only guy she met last year. I'd thought she'd met a few people (and I don't mean that to sound nasty or anything... I just seem to recall she met up with us after a couple of dates).
We talked about NYE - she was very drunk and can't remember the end of the evening, which has stopped any further probing about her admission.
The following day, we touched on her personal circumstances. I know about her kids, but wasn't entirely sure about the exact details. She explained them to me in great detail and it's not brilliant, to be honest. There are custody disagreements that could have HUGE life changing influences on SG if they go ahead.
We chatted further, but in the course of about 36 hours, we'd had a more personal conversation than we'd ever had. We've dripped bits and pieces of information about ourselves, but this was quite direct (and admittedly, she was saying much more than I was). I don't want to use the word "enjoy" with regards to the conversations, but I've often posted here about not getting enough meaningful conversations with some people. The crowd of GM, SG, S etc. is mainly banter and less about getting personal (ignoring the infrequent and all-too-rare GM chats), so I liked that I was able to get to know SG a little better, and I hope we can have more conversations like this in future.
The family revelation stuff had another effect - it made a few other recent things make sense that were inexplicable at the time.
SG is still not dating material, but she is very forthright about who she is, and from what I've seen so far, she is exactly what she claims to be. I just want to get her naked to see all of her tattoos.
It started, as it usually does, with a question.
"How long have you been single?"
I answered, and it kinda took off from there. I didn't get a chance to say the things I wanted to say - to steer the conversation towards dating in general, what SG is looking for, maybe get her views on casual sex because, off the back of briefly talking about dating, she was telling me about a guy she'd met a couple of times and was being a bit full-on. Seemingly, this was the only guy she met last year. I'd thought she'd met a few people (and I don't mean that to sound nasty or anything... I just seem to recall she met up with us after a couple of dates).
We talked about NYE - she was very drunk and can't remember the end of the evening, which has stopped any further probing about her admission.
The following day, we touched on her personal circumstances. I know about her kids, but wasn't entirely sure about the exact details. She explained them to me in great detail and it's not brilliant, to be honest. There are custody disagreements that could have HUGE life changing influences on SG if they go ahead.
We chatted further, but in the course of about 36 hours, we'd had a more personal conversation than we'd ever had. We've dripped bits and pieces of information about ourselves, but this was quite direct (and admittedly, she was saying much more than I was). I don't want to use the word "enjoy" with regards to the conversations, but I've often posted here about not getting enough meaningful conversations with some people. The crowd of GM, SG, S etc. is mainly banter and less about getting personal (ignoring the infrequent and all-too-rare GM chats), so I liked that I was able to get to know SG a little better, and I hope we can have more conversations like this in future.
The family revelation stuff had another effect - it made a few other recent things make sense that were inexplicable at the time.
SG is still not dating material, but she is very forthright about who she is, and from what I've seen so far, she is exactly what she claims to be. I just want to get her naked to see all of her tattoos.
Saturday, January 02, 2016
Let's get physical
No matter how I think things are planned, I seem to spend the majority of New Year's Eve stressed out. This one was no different. I was chasing GM and SG to see if they were coming out with myself, S and his crew. Eventually, they both confirmed that they were. Of course, I had a vested interest in getting SG out, but GM is good company too.
A number of times, I invited everyone to mine for pre-pub drinks which got a favourable response but crucially, no one actually stated outright that they'd come over. I was having some banter with SG about putting on a dress, which she agreed to (I think she secretly wanted to anyway, but she's one of those women that looks good in a dress or jeans). Then I tried to get her to leave the car at home and drink. The latter was more to do with my ulterior motive of scoping out the possibility of getting her into bed than simply a desire to see her drink.
But, it all came together... late as usual. When we hit the bar, SG said that she'd turned up at GM's house at 6 PM as she thought they were then coming across to mine. For some reason, this last part never happened and they ended up spending time with GM's lodger. The annoying part was that they never communicated this to me and I had to find out where they were.
But, SG had been talked into drinking by GM and the night got off to a good start. SG had gotten dressed up and looked stunning in a strappy, figure-hugging dress. I followed her upstairs from the bar to the club, admiring the view and how it all moved.
I had planned to initiate a kiss at midnight, but she never presented herself with a kiss on the lips. I settled for a kiss on the cheek and a long, lingering hug. From then on, the night was a bit of a blur. SG led me, by the hand, to the dance floor where we danced for a few songs. When I suggested going for a smoke, she led me by the hand, to the smoking area. In between times, she was inseparable from GM. It had been suggested to me that perhaps she and GM still had a thing going on, but NYE put paid to that. GM's eye was wandering and he got chatting to a few women. SG didn't really mind and was chatting to me when all this was happening.
We were at the bar, late on, when SG tried to tell me something. I can't remember the details, but apparently, someone had mentioned something about how we held each other. I tried to probe for details but SG wasn't in a position to explain. While my intentions may be less than honourable, I've never actually been inappropriate with SG. Any physical contact is strictly above board and usually only when we're dancing (apart from the odd hug).
I asked her about it earlier today, but she can't remember. Or so she claims. She was pretty toasted by the end of the night, so I have no reason not to believe her. Her chat with me, yesterday and today, has been no different than usual. Whatever it was that was bothering her, I don't think it's that big a deal otherwise we'd have talked. It's entirely possible that whoever brought up the topic, only said to her on NYE itself, so the blackout means she can't even remember someone talking to her about this perceived issue in the first place.
I think the problem is that she appears to be more interested in me when it's only the two of us and when others are out, she dials it in. That was certainly the case on Thursday night (and a few other, recent nights out). Maybe, if I am going to try it on or cover this potential issue, I'll need to do it when no one else is around.
It wasn't the end to the year I was hoping for, but I have reason enough to feel positive about 2016 which I will address in my usual goal-setting post in a few days.
A number of times, I invited everyone to mine for pre-pub drinks which got a favourable response but crucially, no one actually stated outright that they'd come over. I was having some banter with SG about putting on a dress, which she agreed to (I think she secretly wanted to anyway, but she's one of those women that looks good in a dress or jeans). Then I tried to get her to leave the car at home and drink. The latter was more to do with my ulterior motive of scoping out the possibility of getting her into bed than simply a desire to see her drink.
But, it all came together... late as usual. When we hit the bar, SG said that she'd turned up at GM's house at 6 PM as she thought they were then coming across to mine. For some reason, this last part never happened and they ended up spending time with GM's lodger. The annoying part was that they never communicated this to me and I had to find out where they were.
But, SG had been talked into drinking by GM and the night got off to a good start. SG had gotten dressed up and looked stunning in a strappy, figure-hugging dress. I followed her upstairs from the bar to the club, admiring the view and how it all moved.
I had planned to initiate a kiss at midnight, but she never presented herself with a kiss on the lips. I settled for a kiss on the cheek and a long, lingering hug. From then on, the night was a bit of a blur. SG led me, by the hand, to the dance floor where we danced for a few songs. When I suggested going for a smoke, she led me by the hand, to the smoking area. In between times, she was inseparable from GM. It had been suggested to me that perhaps she and GM still had a thing going on, but NYE put paid to that. GM's eye was wandering and he got chatting to a few women. SG didn't really mind and was chatting to me when all this was happening.
We were at the bar, late on, when SG tried to tell me something. I can't remember the details, but apparently, someone had mentioned something about how we held each other. I tried to probe for details but SG wasn't in a position to explain. While my intentions may be less than honourable, I've never actually been inappropriate with SG. Any physical contact is strictly above board and usually only when we're dancing (apart from the odd hug).
I asked her about it earlier today, but she can't remember. Or so she claims. She was pretty toasted by the end of the night, so I have no reason not to believe her. Her chat with me, yesterday and today, has been no different than usual. Whatever it was that was bothering her, I don't think it's that big a deal otherwise we'd have talked. It's entirely possible that whoever brought up the topic, only said to her on NYE itself, so the blackout means she can't even remember someone talking to her about this perceived issue in the first place.
I think the problem is that she appears to be more interested in me when it's only the two of us and when others are out, she dials it in. That was certainly the case on Thursday night (and a few other, recent nights out). Maybe, if I am going to try it on or cover this potential issue, I'll need to do it when no one else is around.
It wasn't the end to the year I was hoping for, but I have reason enough to feel positive about 2016 which I will address in my usual goal-setting post in a few days.
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