Just pondering

Despite owning a house for the best part of five years and prior to that, living on my own* for far too long in a few different countries, I've never been great at just buying for the house. It was a habit I never got into. The six or seven years of living with people like Useless Flatmate, Heating Guy, MfW and the whole general distrust that went on wasn't conducive to just opening my wallet and buying things on semi-impulse to improve our lives. It has to be noted that they didn't, either. But then, they rarely lifted a finger in cleaning up and doing general house chores.

It's only actually with lockdown that I've found myself buying little things here and there just to improve life in the house rather than only buying things when I absolutely need them. I wouldn't say that I live a Spartan existence, but I'd say that it was basic.

It's all functional stuff. I still can't get my head around buying shit for purely decorative purposes.

*With housemates

Wait, what?

I have an Instagram account, purely for perving purposes. The email account linked to it is one of (many) secondary email accounts I own and the display name is completely made up. I tend to follow celebrities and gamers - Jessica Alba, Felicia Day, Alison Brie, Brie Larson and pretty much any interesting, attractive, female celebrity mentioned on this blog.

And until recently, all my suggestions were based off the people I already follow. Until about a week ago. Now the suggestions are GM, BR, FBS and... Heating Guy. Fucking Heating Guy. Where the fuck did Instagram pluck him from? We've never been linked on social media, so it's not like that link is there in my Facebook history or anything. 

Weird. And creepy.

Home.

Today marks the eighth anniversary of moving into a quite spectacular city centre apartment with stunning views. You know, the kind you often see on young adult comedies. We managed to get a great deal on the place and while it wasn't perfect (some of the walls between apartments were terribly thin), the positives outweighed the negatives.

In fact I got the keys around this time and spent the entire afternoon moving and unpacking.

This was the place where one of ES's previous boyfriends had lived (hence us having slept in the same bed, albeit a few years apart). It was also the place where I met Attractive Neighbour, and where R2 had lived in an adjacent unit previously.

In a conversation with AN a year or so ago, we both admitted that we didn't get to meet our neighbours as much as we would have liked. Our expectations of apartment living, in that regard, didn't get met.

Obviously, I had to live with MfW2, UF, Heating Guy and TV Guy which posed problems (and I'm still disappointed that the Scottish doctor turned us down which led to Heating Guy moving in. But all-in-all I loved the place, if not the people I shared with.

The end of the line?

Things are taking a little longer than expected to get sorted with the housing situation. Heating Guy is due to move out in a few days - he's been unbelievably childish recently, crying about a shortfall in the electricity bill (that simply made us even due to a deliberate underpayment for the TV etc. and he knew was going to happen.) Clothes of mine have been taken off the clothes horse and left on the ground and in the mop bucket - nothing serious - just little things. He at least has the intelligence not to do anything directly to me. His histrionic slamming of the doors etc. is becoming tiresome though.

I'm only here for another few weeks myself. TV Guy is on his own from the end of the month. It'll be interesting to see how he copes with two new people. He's gotten away with a fair bit this past 12 months - no housework, not being available for the landlord's handymen, not paying any gas money (dunno what Heating Guy  makes of this) and regular complaining about how much we spend on internet etc. With two new guys coming in, this will all need to be sorted and he might even have to take responsibility with one of the utility bills.

I'm in limbo for a few weeks until my own housing situation is finalised and I can't wait for that to happen. I just want to move in, get settled and relax again. That's looking at being the end of next month though.

I dunno how I feel about moving out of here though. It's been four years. Maybe five? I can't actually remember. I don't know that I was ever friends with any of my flat-mate, though I did get along with TV Guy and MfW to a certain extent. Come the start of October, it's a new chapter regardless.

So... *deep breath*

It's been a bit quiet around these parts over the past few months. I'll not lie - a lot of that is apathy-based. The apathy itself comes from simply not being in the mood. Quite a bit has been happening, none of it really bad per se, but it's been keeping me busy and, to be honest, it's starting to get a bit stressful.

Arguably, it's been stressful for a while now but it's only now that it's starting to get on top of me that I'm noticing it. The funk is still there too. It seems like, beyond little oases of optimism, that it's been hanging around for far too long now. It's been reinforced within recent months by the fallout with CH (her name popped up on my Facebook feed this morning for what seems like the first time this year) and my current house-hunting. I can't remember if I've mentioned the house hunting before from this angle (I'm drafting this during some down time in work, so can't check), but going out to look at houses, arrange viewings etc. is reminding me how lonely I am. I've been looking at houses with my sister, but her availability cannot be guaranteed, so I reckon about 50% of the places I've seen until now have been on my own. I kinda want a second opinion on houses - this is going to be the biggest purchase of my life so far and I don't want to make it entirely on my own.

I'm kinda under a deadline as well... I've not seen anything thus far to really excite me, but I need any proposed purchase to go smoothly and be complete by the end of September at the latest due to current house things. Speaking of house things, and Heating Guy has returned to his psycho form. Each time he's criticised or gets angry, he brings up things that have been bothering him for a long time, simmering away but previously unmentioned. Over recent weeks, he's locked himself out of the house overnight (I got the blame for not answering my phone that was on silent and in another room). A small shortfall in the TV money that I rebalanced when I gave him the utilities sparked yet another meltdown about rent (the letting agent arbitrarily rebalanced the rent, Heating Guy never raised it as an issue). Only a few days ago, HG put some dinner on the cooker and seemingly let it boil dry. The entire house stank. HG's OCD meant he refused to open any windows to ventilate the place. When TV Guy spoke to him about it he said that HG was reluctant to talk.

As I said, nothing bad or seriously, but small, negative stressful things that have been snowballing to a certain extent. I simply need to come out the other side of this and completing the house move would be a major step, but that's unlikely to be for at least a few months yet. I'm meant to be out with people this weekend, but I've got a bad feeling that a fair few people might cancel/not turn up. That would hurt. I kinda need to have some people round me this weekend for a boost.

No title.

KfW2 asked me what was wrong today. Apparently I didn't look great and had been doing a lot of sighing.

I replied honestly. I didn't know.

I am out of sorts - I've been tired, both physically and mentally for a while now and I seem run down but without any one, obvious reason.

If I had to guess, I'd suggest that the whole flat thing - TV Guy, Heating Guy and my plans to move house are all affecting me and it's more stressful than I realise. The CH thing has probably played into that as well as well as the usual funk. Work's been a bit of a chore recently, trying to get recognition for the work that I do. It's a pent up thing - being unable to properly relax, I think.

I need something - a holiday, to meet someone or even just to get this whole house thing sorted - to be able to relax, and that will probably make things better quite quickly.

Moving on.

So, after Heating Guy's spectacular meltdown last week, I guess you could say that the big goal that I have for this year is now underway - find somewhere to live on my own. That means I'm looking to buy my own place. Initial conversations with my family have taken place - I need help with the deposit - so hopefully we can thrash that out within a few days.

While I was at my sister's over the weekend, she took the initiative  and started looking at property websites and within minutes I saw a couple that really piqued my interest, falling into my price range (just about) and ticking the boxes I want ticked.

But I don't want to get too invested in anything I spot though. I don't want to see a great house, but lose out on it because I'm not ready. So, I have started looking a bit today, but not too much... not for a week or so until I can get what I need sorted - mortgage in principle, deposit etc.

Oh dear (sigh 3).

Things have escalated quickly at Chez Ruuude. I'm not going to into the detailed ins and outs of lengthy "conversation" that I've had with Heating Guy today, but the upshot of it all is that he refused to take any responsibility for getting  the washing machine repaired or replaced. When I asked him to do so, he threw a massive strop and said that, despite being the person who found the problem, he was the last to know about the washing machine being broke.

So, I contacted the landlord to arrange a solution but I indicated that if the landlord had any questions to contact Heating Guy directly as he knew the details.

Heating Guy was livid. I was passing the buck, apparently. The landlord said that I'd passed the buck. He sent me screen shots of the chat. The landlord did say that. Heating Guy denied all knowledge of the incident and said that the washing machine "was not a priority for me right now". All he had to say was that it had leaked all over the utility room.

The landlord was in touch with me and within a few messages had arranged a replacement. I'm just waiting on the details for delivery etc.

That wasn't the end of it though. I sent Heating Guy the screenshot of my message to the landlord to show that, at no point, was I passing the buck.  More ranting. No matter what I said, the ranting continued until he outright accused me of lying about the washing machine, saying I'd broken it, tried to clean up after me and not told anyone. Pretty much he had done.

I've been open and honest about all manner of house stuff since the guys have moved in, communicating everything to them in a timely fashion and taking responsibility when something needs done (cleaning, getting decorators in etc.) and that he's done nothing but suit himself and avoid communication or responsibility, the evidence really does look bad for him. That didn't put him off.

"How can I believe you when you never told me about your argument with the neighbours about the noise?" was his logic. Well, I explained to him that last August was all very much last minute with MfW leaving with five days' notice, that he wasn't originally meant to take the room he finally got and while there was an oversight (I didn't tell him about the noise), it wasn't deliberate or malicious. I had other priorities.

It looks like his entire attitude about everything goes back to some kind of assumption that I lied to him about the room. He still doesn't believe me. According to him, I should stop trying to make things right and we should avoid each other, apparently.

Heating Guy is a basket case. I'm going to have to have a chat with TV Guy so that he knows the score. and I will be avoiding him. Crazy bastard.

Sigh 2.

Everyone except me was away home over Easter. Heating Guy came back yesterday, around tea time and put a wash on. Twenty minutes later, all I could hear was frantic coming and going from the utility room to, well, somewhere else. I've suspected for a long time that the washing machine is on its last legs and it certainly sounded like it yesterday.

Except, Heating Guy never said anything about it. He made his racket then left the house. I checked the utlity room. The floor was sopping wet, the washing machine was full but not running and everything was rearranged.

I said nothing. Heating Guy doesn't take any responsibility beyond his own comfort, so he'll leave empty packets lying at his arse. For example, at one point, he had four tea bag boxes, each with two tea bags in it on the kitchen worktop. Or the six empty packets of washing up powder lying in the utility room for months until our recent decorating.

He's not dirty per se, but he seems weird in that he will ensure that the cutting board, dish mop and dish cloth are all lined up around the sink exactly the way he wants, but he'll freely leave the ironing board up in the middle of the living room once he's finished with it. Don't get me started on the fact that his cutting board placement means it's difficult to turn on the taps without moving the bloody thing anyway or that the dishcloth is left sopping wet and gets mildewy smelling because it never dries out, but at least they're placed to his wishes. And more than once I've heard him set everything up, turn on the iron and then forget about it, including leaving the apartment.

His obsession with order might make you think he's a clean freak, but he's far from that. The communal bathroom, that I no longer use because I have an en-suite, is stinking. He hasn't (and neither has TV Guy to be fair) mopped or brushed or cleaned any of the communal areas since he moved in.

While I have been frustrated with TV Guy and his complaining about our internet, he's a reasonably decent bloke to talk to and if he did at least a bit of housework, he'd be a decent housemate. Heating Guy is just annoying me more and more with each passing day. The passive aggressive heating control, the lack of responsibility taken for anything and the compulsion to have things a certain way (see chopping board and ironing board), even if they make no sense is all starting to build up to some real frustration.

It's already started to leak out of me.

I sent en email when I got home today. It had been twenty-four hours since the washing machine flooded the utility room and Heating Guy had said nothing. Just like the last time when he blew the lighting fuses in the house, he sorted himself out and left the rest of us to fix the problem. I was adamant this wasn't going to happen.

So I asked both guys what had happened.

TV Guy arrived a few minutes after I sent the email and we talked it through. He was none the wiser about anything so we needed Heating Guy to confirm it was the washing machine and not something stupid that he'd done. Four hours after I sent the email, there was a reply...

"Looks like the washing machine is broke"

I replied immediately.

"Presumably you've contacted the landlord and he's arranging a repair/replacement?"

No reply as yet, but he has come back to the house and turned the heating on and full blast. On the warmest day of the year so far. No-one can be THAT cold, surely?

Feeling hot, hot, hot.

It's been a lovely day here. Temperatures hit over 15 degrees centigrade and even with a hefty breeze blowing, it was quite warm... which didn't stop HG burning the heat at 100% for hours at a time.

And he's still turning down the hot water temperatures to less than tepid. How he thinks anyone is meant to actually wash anything in nearly cold water is beyond me.

It's not that he might feel cold. I understand that he may well do... it's the fact that he's burning the gas at 100% while running around in shorts and a t-shirt instead of putting on a pair of jeans and a jumper. He's paying for the gas because for some reason he won't tell TV Guy that it's his turn to top up, but the reality is that the rest of us are sweating because HG doesn't have the common sense to turn down the heating temperature and put on a jumper to regulate his own comfort. Just like he turns down the water temperature because it's too hot instead of mixing cold water.

Passive aggressive nonsense.

Heating Guy was the last person to top up our gas... but that ran out about ten days ago. Rather than send an email out suggesting the next person top up, which would be the normal thing to do - shows a bit of common sense and maturity - he's been sneakily topping up the gas a few pounds at a time, then burning through it as per his usual habit.

(As a throwback to my previous post on the topic, yesterday was the coldest day of the year so I actually put the heating on for the first time in weeks, at my usual 60% level and left it on for a good few hours. As soon as HG came into the house, despite the obvious heat, he turns the thermostat on the boiler up to 90%)

Then, about a week ago, one of the fuses in the house blew. The lighting circuit that services the utility room, main sitting room and kitchen was out of action. Everything was fine when I was making my dinner, but whatever happened, happened when either TVG or HG used the kitchen. I suspect HG.

I heard HG flicking the lights on and off in the kitchen. Then, footsteps as he moved to the sitting room. More switch flicking before he seemed to assume all the bulbs had blown and went to his room.

Suffice to say, HG took zero initiative and it was me who replaced some of the blown bulbs and the fuses. It wasn't a lot of money - about £12 - but I'm starting to get fed up of both these guys' lack of initiative. The communal bathroom, for example that they share is appalling. It hasn't been cleaned since they moved in - pretty much five full months.

Anything that you might considered a shared duty (e.g. cleaning) hasn't been done.

I'm no DIY expert, but my time in this house has given me experience. I know roughly how long the gas will last given the its use, to within a day or so. I know that the circuits can be temperamental and blow sometimes. My "experience" means nothing though. I've spoken to TVG and HG about all the house issues before, but they never listen and both of them think they know better.

HG is arguably the worst of the two. He's been rearranging the kitchen, despite his changes making life more awkward (e.g. putting the bread board behind the taps so you have to move the bread board to turn on the water). And the incident that sparked off this complaint/rant? I went into the kitchen to make my food earlier and he's moved the one of the bulbs that I had replaced which were pointing at the cooker and fridge from the fridge to the dishwasher.

This is all very passive aggressive of me, but if he wants the bulbs to point at certain appliances he should have fucking replaced them himself. I moved it back, of course. But I'll be interested to see if he moves it again...

EDIT: And just after I posted this, TVG has just cornered HG in the kitchen and is talking about slashing the TV package AGAIN, despite saying that he'd go with the consensus in the house... which was to leave things as they were.

2015 Goals.

While a lot of the goals I have this year are remarkably similar to those of old, there are a few twists involved.

The big one is my housing situation. Having to deal with Heating Guy and TV Guy is tiresome, even after four months, so I think I'll start looking for somewhere to live on my own. Possibly permanently as well i.e. buying instead of renting. My finances are in decent shape at the moment, so now is a good time to think about buying. I need to do a lot of homework on that front though.

Another goal is one that's often been seen: get fitter and lose some weight. I did do it to a certain extent last year. I lost almost 12 lbs/5 kg until I suffered a severe muscle injury playing football. I've put roughly just over half of that back on again. I'll use the same technique that I used last year (a body-weight yoga/resistance workout), plus add something extra (maybe a bit of weights). I need to see some decent results quickly to maintain morale and interest, but that'll be less about the exercise which I enjoyed a lot and more about making the changes to my diet. There's also a possibility of doing a 10 km run around the end of April after a suggestion by G last night.

Career-wise, I'm more than happy currently. I don't foresee any movement there, unless something radical happens. I have things to learn, to progress, to become better at my job, but I have no current desire to start looking for moves elsewhere.

The only other thing I want to address this year is the relationship status. Once again, I'm not marking it down as a goal per se, as these things are often luck and out of my control. I'll do my utmost to get into more social settings where I can meet people (I also still have a standing agreement with GM about speed dating), I doubt I'll try online dating again though I might actually try and use Tinder to meet someone rather than let it sit unused on my phone.

There are some other things to look forward to - a weekend away with G, FP, M etc. I've a few other plans with FP - gigs and sporting events and a big social gathering in London to celebrate a thing with G.

I'm tentatively heading into 2015 feeling quite positive.

The cold shoulder.

The young of the two new house mates is already starting to piss me off. From trying to rearrange the kitchen, to always leaving the ironing board in the middle of the floor (we never put it away, it just sits at the side of the room), to running the heating almost constantly.

He's been running the heating a) almost as a habit rather than necessity and b) at the highest level.

I keep turning the level down to about 60%. If you put you hand on a radiator, you can't tell the difference between that and full power, but each time he turns on the heating, he moves it back to over 90%.

He doesn't usually get into the house until after 9PM, but he already has a routine - turn on the heating, make some food, have a shower and he'll turn off the heating after 11PM when he's going to bed.

Even if we've already had the eating on for a bit, he still turns it on. Our place hold the heat really well, so a quick hour or so of heating (even at 60%) will keep the place comfortable for a good couple of hours afterwards, but this guy doesn't seem to notice and will turn the heating on again... one night he turned it on no more than five minutes after I'd turned it off, FFS.

I'm not complaining about the heating being on. Heat is a necessity, especially in winter, but I think he's using it too much. There are times when I am tempted to turn off the heating because I am uncomfortably warm.

I'm digressing a little. The gas has now run out. That leaves us with no heating and no hot water. Unsurprisingly, Heating Guy hasn't topped up the card or even mentioned that there's no more gas. Thinking about it, neither has TV Guy. I was the last person to top up the gas card, so it's up to one of the new guys. Except neither of them appear willing to accept responsibility for anything.