As you were.

I know I've been quiet this month on the blog front. I have been feeling a little down, to be honest, and that has meant less energy to post. Plus, if I am being honest, it's not been the most exciting month. kfW2 has just called, and I've had the same update for the past few weeks: I've not left the house nor spoken to anyone.

Still, to make up for my silence here are some attractive women.

Christina Hendricks:

Alison Brie:

Morena Baccarin:

Jessica Alba:

Gut Feeling.

I can't remember if I ever posted about this before, but for some reason, this popped into my head earlier this afternoon. It's about FA2, and specifically my suspicions about her feelings towards me much earlier than when we first started fooling around.

The thing is, there have been few times where hints have been given, by women, and I've noticed them. QC1, FA2, and QC3 of those mentioned on this blog, are good examples.

When FA2 first announced her availability, she specifically asked BW to let me know. The thing is, while I'd met FA2 a few times, it struck me as weird that she insisted that BW share the news. I thought nothing of it at the time, assuming that it was all BW's doing. FA2 admitted later that it was her doing.

BW got a contract to work abroad for a few months. He asked me to look after FA2. I called her randomly one evening and asked if she fancied doing something. She declined and I thought nothing of it. I reported back to BW.

Again, there was a night when FA2, BW, me and others went out to see an ABBA tribute band. There was lots of booze and dancing, and I caught FA2 giving me looks. Again, nothing concrete, but I had a hunch that something was up.

Then we get around to the night we first kissed. I had arranged a night out with FA1 and her friends. BW and FA2 were meant to turn up, and they did... albeit hours later as they'd gone out for dinner while I was trying to figure out FA1. I had suspected that FA2 was interested in me, but I also thought that there was an outside chance that BW might have been interested in FA2. 

It later transpired that when I called her to do something, she assumed I was asking her on a date. But I wasn't. I didn't view her with romantic ideas until she kissed me. it was the BW influence. If he wasn't interested in her, they were close friends, and that needed to be managed, so I think I kinda refused to consider something romantic/physical.

Of course, a mutual friend then explained that BW had been interested in FA2, but he'd never said to me.

But still... I wasn't always useless at picking up signals. Just most of the time. And even when I did, I tended to second-guess myself.

Happy Monday!

So, off my recent "Women in suits" post, I present Alexandra Daddario. Maybe not in a full suit but looking stunning nonetheless, with cute hair and brightening my Monday morning.

Surprise!

The details are already starting to fade, even though I only woke an hour ago. In the dream, I was getting paranoid about my friends. They were blowing hot and cold. Specifically, I couldn't get a read on both KfW2 and QC2 who knew each other at least in this dream. KfW2 also knew about my crush on QC2 because I'd confided in her and she was doing her best to subtly match-make.

Towards the end of the dream, I was summoned to a gathering of friends. I expected it to be an intervention of sorts, though for what I couldn't figure out. When I got there, it wasn't an intervention but a surprise party in my honour. QC2 approached, kissed me, gave me a massive hug and walked away. Was it romantic? Platonic? Who knows.

And I kinda woke up. There were more details to it, but they've rapidly faded from memory. As you might expect, waking up with this on my mind has left me somewhat deflated and feeling a little lonely.

Sigh-prisingly.

Surprisingly, the chat with my ex-work peeps about meeting up hasn't died. And doubly surprising, it was KfW2 who kept the topic going.

And then I got a message over WhatsApp, from KfW2 suggesting we do the long-overdue night out that she's promised me since Summer 2021 and asked when suited.

I gave her the answer that I've given her for the past few years - whatever suits her. This isn't just pandering to her. My diary is currently empty, she has commitments and rather than have a back and forth about availability, it's easier (IMO) just to let her pick a date.

Then came a question that made my blood boil.

"Should we ask the work peeps along?" I assume this would be instead of doing our planned dinner and drinks (date TBC).

I was instantly super-paranoid... again. Why would she ask that?

I was reminded of a Reddit post I saw yesterday:

And I was reminded of CC's self-invite to the dinner and drinks that KfW2 and I had arranged not that long back. In all honesty, I'd thought that KfW2 would have known enough to tell her that she wasn't welcome on this particular occasion.

Clearly, it's not a date for me and KfW2. But I will admit now (and have done previously) that there are times I want to get a friend out, just the two of us, and chat. It's one of the reasons that my friendship with CH bit the dust. It's been over five years since I last recall having done so with KfW2. Again, I don't count sitting in her house with her kids running around as fulfilling this. There's something that changes when we're out, with a kind of privacy and a completely different tone. The conversations become more personal.

My reply to KfW2's question was that I thought we should do this thing by ourselves. The work peeps stuff can be something else. Let's see what the reply is.

Sigh.

I spent last night in two WhatsApp conversations. One with D, FBS etc. and the other with old teammates in my current workplace, including KfW2. The aim was to arrange some socialising.

I partly succeeded. I've tentatively booked a date with D, FBS and Friction Guy for the start of October.

The group with KfW2 is another matter. We were originally meant to go out last December, and even had a day agreed and booked... until Covid Omicron came along, whereupon we decided as a group to cancel, for obvious reasons.

It's frustrating because it's so much work, and yet while everyone wants to meet up, the expectation is that I drive the arrangements with almost zero support. And by support, I don't necessarily mean help, but even just a willingness to suggest dates or venues. I'm getting nothing.

Sigh.

Back again.

I saw a clip on YouTube this morning of the old Vic and Bob show, Shooting Stars. One of the guest stars was Anna Friel, who looked absolutely stunning. I don't recall if she was ever listed as a celebrity crush when USHW and I would have those conversations, but she should have been. So, off I went to find a picture or screen grab of Anna on the show.

What I did find instead was this picture of Anna looking stunning, but with added, well, regular readers will know.

Friendbombing?

So, reading this article on The Independent (it's called "‘I feel like I was used’: The rise of ‘friendbombing’ and why we need to talk about it "), brought back memories of CH. CH might not be a narcissist per the article's claims, but it did resonate a little with me. A somewhat intense friendship that blows out quickly due to one person being... a sub-optimal friend.

Calling time.

I've been thinking of RB this morning, and specifically the journey home from her place the morning after we first met. We parted ways at the entrance to her office and I ambled into the town centre to get a coffee. Only having like three hours of sleep was creating a massive need for caffeine.

I grabbed the largest coffee that I could and strolled through the city centre to my bus stop. There were loads of people out and about, specifically around the Apple store. of course! The newest iPhone was being released to the public that day.

And I guess that's why RB popped into my head. The phone isn't actually released to the public today, nor is it an "on this day" memory, but pre-orders open for the iPhone 14.

Time out.

KfW2 phone this morning as I was... ahem... otherwise engaged. We've not spoken in a bit, so it was nice to hear her voice, even if the timing was unfortunate. She was sharing news about her new job, and I felt I had to butt in and give her some advice about pushing herself too far. She has a habit of doing it, and I don't think she often sees it herself. From what she was sharing with me, it seemed to me like this was one of those times. It all fits... she does it when trying to impress someone. This time, it's her new employer.

She asked me about my week off. I've done nothing this week. I had plans about tidying up the back garden for winter, but the weather over here put that idea to bed. I had at the back of my mind an idea to start getting back into yoga, but until I was typing up this blog post, I had completely forgotten it. I know that if I don't do something a little bit productive that I'll regret it at 9 AM on Monday when I am booting up the work laptop, even though I've enjoyed chilling out this week.

I will try and get something done over the weekend - I am busy this afternoon. But getting the yoga started, getting stretched out, is the first stage to doing actual, proper exercise, whatever that may be.

Bah.

I'm off work next week. No reason, just time to take, feeling a bit burned out. The weather's meant to be rubbish though, so I've no idea what I'm going to do. I had some plans about a little gardening and some work on the outside of the house, but that's looking unlikely.