Watched "Grosse Point Blank" earlier. I quite like John Cusack's movies. But I was quite taken with Minnie Driver. Facially, she kinda reminds me of SSCW, and her character in this film has real sass, just like SSCW.
Great soundtrack, too.
And I was 100% sure I'd posted a similar thought before, but I can't find it.
I had a dream last night where I had this power where I could heal people through direct physical contact, but the caveat was that there had to be an emotional connection. A handshake wouldn't cut it, but a meaningful kiss would, for example. Someone hugging me goodbye wouldn't activate the power, but someone giving me a hug in gratitude because I'd given them some emotional support would (with skin to skin contact, of course).
And so, the dream was that I had various encounters with people that included FP, QC2, KfW2 and CH. There was, of course, physical contact that would trigger my powers. Then days or weeks later, I'd meet them again and they'd be different. They'd look younger, healthier, happier and while they all knew that they were in better physical shape, none of them were able to trace it back to our hugs, kisses or whatever direct physical contact there had been previously.
I woke up this morning kinda sad that I wasn't a secret superhero but also bemused that, in my dream, QC2 had six kids.
Years ago, I was browsing Facebook when a photo of FA1 popped up on my feed. I wasn't stalking - FA1 and I are Facebook friends. She was at a formal with her husband. As part of the photo, there were two other people. One, I recognised as being one of FA1's friends. The other was an unknown but really cute female.
About six months later, the unknown friend started appearing on online dating sites and apps. I tried to engage with her but was unsuccessful. I don't know if she didn't read the messages (this would have been the unreliable Match.com) or simply wasn't interested.
Cut to a year or so again, and another appearance in FA1's pictures. The unknown girl had seemingly taken up weight lifting or something because she was super-toned in the photos. Super-toned and cute women is a BIG win in Ruuude's world.
She appeared to be single, but other than say to FA1 outright (and I'd not spoken to FA1 in years), I had no way of getting an introduction.
Like a similar scenario with CB, only less frustrating.
Well, guess who turned up in a comments thread on FA1's Facebook today? (Hint: not CB).
A while ago, I pondered something with USHW. CH would send me a PM or comment on Facebook with a particular memory... usually a photo and she would use a phrase.
At the time, the phrase seemed weird. It was almost like there was a second meaning to it that I was missing.
Yesterday, out of the blue, my brother-in-law used the same phrase with the same context. Admittedly, he and CH are from the same town, so maybe it's something common to that neck of the woods?
A big change to report this week!
Today's figure is 227.2, a loss of almost 3.5 lbs. I'm really pleased with that. It's nice to see a "big" number rather than nickel and diming half a pound here and there that seems to have been the case, plus the Summer plateau as well. I know it's not sustainable, but it is a nice boost. Here's hoping that it continues to go down.
I was reading a thread on Reddit where someone was asking if it was OK to ask their FwB if they'd slept with other people.
That conversation is just a distraction to this post, because I was pondering more around the definitions of things like "fuck buddy" or "friends with benefits" and a lot of people on Reddit seemed to have a different definition than I did.
There are, IMO, four types of physical relationship (maybe five if you want to count a one-night stand):
KfW2 asked if I wanted to go for lunch with her on tomorrow. Well, not just her, but her and CC. I declined because my weekend is going to be somewhat frantic and reactive with family stuff, so I can't really commit to anything.
The reason, I assume, that she's out with CC is that it was CC's birthday a few days ago. So I am kinda annoyed that I've been trying to get her out for months without any real interest on her part, but she will go out to treat CC.
I feel guilty about being annoyed because she sent a sweet message last weekend making sure I was OK due to the above-mentioned family stuff. And then followed that up with a phone call.
While those are nice, I would still dearly love to get her out, on her own, for dinner and drinks and chat in anonymity. Long-time readers will know that I value time and actions over words.
So, I re-iterated my desire to get her out for dinner and drinks and promised that I would be in touch later this week to arrange something.
I had two distinct dreams last night. In the first, I played professional football for Liverpool FC. My sister also had a job there as some kind of youth team co-ordinator. There wasn't much to recall specifically about this dream other than pass comment that it's not the first time I've had a dream where I played football for Liverpool FC.
Usually, in those dreams, it's about how my body is wracked with injury and I can never fulfil my potential. Last night's was different.
The other dream involved a girl I found attractive at school. I'm not even sure it was a crush. We were friendly but not friends. We had some classes together and sat beside/close to each other, so chatted.
Anyway, in this dream, there were a large group of us. For some reason, this girl wanted to have sex with me. Everyone knew it, so made themselves scarce and gave us some privacy. However, every now and again, we'd be interrupted by someone, then there'd be a period where we'd try to get these people to leave us alone before returning to what we were trying to accomplish.
This repeated until I woke up, after there'd been a lot of foreplay but before there'd been any sex.
Suffice to say, there was some frustration this morning.
In a question that wasn't really asked, I think I've found out what CH was doing on the night that she spent testing me with vague undertones of something and I was feeding this back to USHW "live". As coincidence would have it, was roughly this time of year (a week and eight years ago, to be more accurate).
I was doing some Facebook reminiscing and came across a photo of CH on a hen night. On a Tuesday night. I don't know how I've missed that photo before when I have perused CH's Facebook photos, but it stood out tonight.
I don't do regrets, but I would loved to have been a mind-reader, to have known what was going on in CH's head. Not just that night, either, but in general.
230.6 lbs
Back on the downward movement. I think I'd had a mini-plateau last time I checked-in. I haven't been on the scales for a few weeks - nothing deliberate, just preoccupied with other things, so the numbers were very much welcome this morning.
Still about 30 lbs heavier than I'd like, but that's not a quick fix.
The "other stuff" from Wednesday has been ongoing. And there's still no interview date or, rather, there wasn't at 1PM yesterday when I logged off for the weekend. If I arrive in on Monday morning to an email telling me the interview is on Monday, I'll have to try to reschedule. The Wednesday stuff is eating up all my time at the moment and I'm neither prepared enough nor in the frame of mind to sit in an interview.
Anyhoo... because of the Wednesday stuff, I spent most of yesterday admiring a petite, Anna Kendrick lookalike (probably! She was wearing a mask, but had similar features) run around in a set of scrubs.
I've admitted to both a liking for Anna K before, and for women in scrubs. So it was a great double whammy for me.
So, yeah... I was wrong. Nothing yet on the interview front. That's going to be next week at some point, giving me some extra time to prepare.
However, I'm still pretty stressed, but it's not just about the job stuff. Other things have happened that I don't particularly want to talk about right now.
I have two offers to do something on Saturday. One with GM, S and maybe FC, the other with FP. I'm going to go with the FP one. While I do want to meet up with GM etc, it smells like something that FC will take over. He can do that at times and as he's already out with a group of pals, we'll end up dancing to his tune rather than him coming to us.
Just a quick update. Still no email from HR about the interview, or there wasn't when I logged off at 5:15 PM earlier. I do fully expect to get one before 10 AM tomorrow, though.
Instead of sitting and going over my notes again tonight (which I've been doing non-stop since Saturday), I watched a film and played some games after dinner. It took my mind off the interview completely and I actually felt relaxed. It was good downtime, but now I'm paranoid that I should have done a few hours worth of prep tonight.
Sigh.
I'm expecting to have an interview this week - probably Wednesday or Thursday - and the stress is already killing me.
I'm stressed out, even more than I was last week from this post. All the same symptoms, only more intense.
I can prepare for some it and be decently prepared, even if it doesn't feel like it right now, but there will be another part of it, probably 20% that I can't prepare for at all as it's a complete unknown and that's where I'm most likely to fail. Imposter Syndrome plus an element of not learning as much as I should over the past few years - getting a job done and moving on to the next one without picking anything up.
Sigh.
One thing that I thought was worth mentioning from last night, was a conversation FP and I had about the night I met Recruitment Bird. We got onto the subject in a roundabout way - chatting about a friend of FP's who had recently passed away.
FP's friend was a bit of a player. Despite having a girlfriend, I saw him chat up plenty of women (often successfully). I regaled FP of a night that I was out with KfW2 and FP's friend was quite clearly making moves, once he'd ruled out my own intentions.
The subject of RB came about because FP had said that his friend had commented on the fact that me "pulling" RB was the fastest he'd ever seen someone move. We compared timelines. My memory says that while the connection was made early, and by RB, the actual first move, by me, wasn't made for several hours and we were, in fact, still in the bar at closing time.
FP's recollection is markedly different in that I sealed the deal early in the evening and then RB and I left.
I'm still convinced that my recollection is the correct one, because I remember RB and I snogging like teenagers well after the crowds had cleared and ordering a late cab, plus her housemates all being in bed when we pitched in and got handsy on her sofa.
And now I'm reminded of getting handsy on RB's sofa. Sigh.
It's taken until September, after a Summer of great weather, to actually use my garden furniture for hosting guests. This time, it was FP. We sat in the garden, with a fire lit, drinking beer and just chatting until near 2AM. It was really nice to sit, chill and spend time in someone's company. I've been a bit stressed recently.
It's unlikely that the furniture will get used again this year and I'll have think about storing it for the Winter.
Am very tired today, but I'll need to motivate myself to do an hour or so's prep for an interview that's likely to be the middle or end of this coming week.
While out with Nerdy Girl last night, I got on to the subject of how useless I am at interviews. I've not done one in years, but I have come close a few times within the past few years and even before getting into an interview, I've had panic attacks and withdrawn my application.
I have an application sitting, ready to go. I doubt there are many other people within the company who match the criteria like I do. But I've not even sent in the application and I'm already all over the place.
Since this morning, here's what I've experienced:
