Weekend digest.

The house thing is coming to a close. MfW should move out finally today - 90% of his stuff has gone and the only things that remain are the furniture items really. It's just a matter of when his parents come to pick up his stuff. Knowing him, it won't be until late afternoon, so I'll probably not get a chance to move my own stuff today. FNG is effectively gone. Today is the last day of him being here, but his stuff is gone and he's at a wedding this weekend.

Friday's night's work thing was a big success. CH did turn up, albeit for only a few hours, but we managed to cram an awful lot of laughter into that time. CH's tactile mood was back and there was lots of touching, though nothing like before with the lingering touches and fleeting sweeps across my ass, but she moved in closer, pretending to be cold (at least this is my assumption... she didn't feel cold). There were three kisses - one on the cheek and two on the lips. The latter two lasted just a little longer than a platonic peck on the lips should, in my opinion, but probably nothing that would draw attention from anyone else... and they were all in full view of everyone.

We continued to text after she left and when I was reading through them against yesterday, there was a tone to them that I hadn't noticed before. She was being a lot more earnest than usual, being overly grateful for small acts of friendship, for example, and perhaps a touch of something darker - a touch of melancholia. She also mentioned that our friendship surprised her, how much she trusted me was a surprise to her. It was touching, but there was something in the tone I couldn't put my finger on.

There are other things happening, or potentially happening, that make me believe that our friendship will fizzle out soon, but the next time I get to talk to her, I plan on bringing up the texts. I am concerned at the tone.

Out of the blue.

After a month or so of silence on her part and a couple of unanswered messages on mine, QC2 sent a message on Facebook last night, apologetic for her lack of contact and promising to meet soon... except she's going away for a few days, so it might be next week instead.

I left the ball in her court. I'm sure we'll meet... it's just a matter of when that's going to be. I haven't seen her in over a year... since before my holiday in July last year, I think.

I'd like to meet up, obviously. Apart from anything else, we've always had a bit of chemistry and we used to be part of a small group that socialised together. The night she ended up hooking up initially with her now long-term partner was the same night that I started my brief thing with FBS. We've never sat down and discussed it, but she knows exactly what went on that night... and that it led to the rest of it coming out eventually over many conversations.

With the FBS thing (and others - K, for example), I've been accused of embarrassment or secrecy, but it's simply that I saw it as a casual thing that was no-one else's business. If I don't see a long-term future in it, I don't see the need to tell everyone about it. I recently said something similar to KfW2.

D and some of that crowd knew about me and FBS but never admitted it for a while. A mutual friend of ours later mentioned that there was a bet between him and FBS about whether we would screw. I can't remember who bet what.

K was a little different seeing as she was from out of town, but she confessed all to F and F spent months in conversations with me, waiting for me to trip up and admit some little detail that she could use to accuse and laugh at.

I guess the point that we kinda veered off into there was that I am not a kiss and tell kinda person. Even over the course of this blog, things have happened that I knew had no future and most of them are never recorded, and some get the airtime simply because they're relevant and/or interesting.

Back to the matter at hand... hopefully QC2 gets in touch next week and we can meet up.

Reasons to be cheerful?

Earlier in the week I had asked S and GM if they fancied going to see Sin City 2 in the cinema last night with the lovely Jessica Alba. Then, as I was stressed and tired, I told GM that I wasn't going to bother. And then I changed my mind again at tea-time and called him and asked him if he'd mind.

He didn't, so we went. In the half hour we had before the movie started, we had a quick chat. I've mentioned before that it's easy to talk to GM, so a lot of the frustrations I'd had this year all came out - the general funk that's lasted eight months so far, online dating and it's complete lack of success, the CB on Match.com frustration and my gradual disappointment in GB  over the past 18 months.

It was surprising how much he agreed with me. He's seen much more in the way of results from online dating, but still admitted that he'd had his own frustrating spells. His feelings about GB was something that mirrored my own, though to a lesser extent. I raised the subject of speed dating from S's reaction in this post and he was definitely up for it. I just have to find a singles night or a speed dating night that looks fun and caters for our age ranges (I'm approximately ten years older than GM).

The flatmate thing has been resolved as well. MfW has gotten his way and the last of our potentials has taken the room. I'm glad he's gone/going. He's not a particularly good flatmate - not doing any cleaning beyond his own room, not taking responsibility, taking food and drink that doesn't belong to him and taking forever to "replace" it with cheaper alternatives. He's also a massive hypocrite - complaining about FNG's notice then taking the piss himself or laughing at UF's tightness with money when he's extremely similar himself.

So I'm looking forward to moving into a new room (with ensuite, woohoo!), getting my shit in order and starting to gather information for my 2015 goal that I've decided that I'm kicking off now. I have a night out with CH and booze hopefully this weekend and am hoping that the new guys coming in are more sociable and cleaner than the two that are leaving.

Spanner -> Works (Part 3)

Both ladies on the list have passed on the offered room. One girl said it was quite small. I don't know what she's basing that on, while it's the smallest bedroom in the house, it is comparable to a lot of master rooms that I've seen when viewing houses. I'm slightly disappointed... I was hoping to get a girl in to add some balance to the place. Living with MfW, UF and FNG has made me want to see what it's like living with a female. I know we had NSU, but she was always away on business or back in her family home, so doesn't really count.

I'm down to one person, and I've just sent the text. I don't like getting in touch with people this late, but I can't listen to more of MfW's whining. Six day's notice indeed. I'll probably know early tomorrow morning if this guy is willing to take us up on our offer, but I can't see it... it's been too long since he first viewed the place and probably has a place lined up.

I've done my bit... I'll be interested to see what lengths MfW goes to over the next three days to ensure he can leave the place at the weekend.

Spanner -> Works (Part 2)

For the second night in a row, I got about 4 hours sleep. This time, instead of the back pain I'd been suffering over the weekend, it was the students next door having a party. It started at 2AM and went on until after 4AM.

This was on top of MfW breaking the six day news to me at 11PM, so I was late dropping off to sleep after mulling the potential consequences of MfW's selfishness (he admitted to me that there's no emergency here, this is a personal decision).

However, he cannot move until there's a replacement, according to the landlord. After the shortlisting of last week, we're running out of names. There are three left. As I effectively ran the advertising last week, it's been left to me to sort it out, though MfW is impatient and has already annoyed me by asking for updates an hour after sending the first text message. I've already left a message with my top choice, but that was at lunchtime and she's not yet replied. I'll give her another few hours and then I'll have to move on.

As it stands, MfW is in danger of having to stay on another month. The whole thing is, as pop culture has taught us, an omnishambles. Sigh.

I think I've made a decision to stay on here rather than go back to my sister's. I can grab the master bedroom, get away from the students and get more space and an en-suite, but I shall definitely be moving up my plans.

At this stage, though, I really need a good night's sleep.

Spanner -> Works

MfW arrived into the house today and straight-away offered that the female, and my top choice, was now his top choice. Instantly, I was suspicious. It's not like MfW to change his mind. He sees it as a sign of weakness.

It wasn't long before the real reason came to light - MfW has asked the landlord if he can leave. I don't know the reasons why MfW wants to leave, but the bottom line will be, well, the bottom line. Money saving will come into it somewhere. He hasn't bought a house nor is he moving in with his current girlfriend, he's moving back home with his parents, who live 20 miles away.

The assumption was that he would leave in a month's time. After all, the lease does say we need to give a month's notice, but this very second, he's just informed me he wants to leave at the end of this month - in six day's time.

Yesterday, my sister offered me her spare room for a few months... I dismissed it out of hand, though she was serious, but you know, I might take her up on that for a few months and bring my plans forward a year.

I hate making rushed decisions though, so this is fucking with my head. So many things to ponder and not a lot of time to do it. Ideally, I'd spend a month going over my options, not six days.

Decision, decisions.

So, after spending all last week with strangers walking through our house, we need to make a decision regarding who's going to take FNG's place. I was expecting a disaster, to be honest. MfW is a friend (barely) who I've known for ten years but we rarely agree on the little details. I predicted, wrongly in fact, that there would be a massive argument over the new person.

As it turns out, our top two are the same, just in reverse order. MfW's concern over my top choice is valid - shift working patterns, so I've asked her (yes, my top choice is a female) for clarification. Hopefully she will come back and confirm that her shift working will not be invasive i.e. no 3AM finishes.

The other person is an I.T. guy. Having previously lived with two technically-minded people recently (UF and FNG), I just fancy a change of vibe about the place which is why I'm angling for a non-techy female. The I.T. guy seemed really sound though, so having to settle will be disappointing but not a disaster.

Here's hoping that my first choice texts back soon and can offer some assurance that she won't be running around the place at 4AM after doing a late shift.

Unexpected.

MM and MMBF were out on the town last night. MM left me a message on Facebook to come down and join them for a drink. After spending the week sorting out the housemate stuff, I quite fancied a drink. I gave myself a quick scrub and trotted down after the final viewing, the intention being literally a couple of drinks then back home to leave the girls to their night out.

That plan went out the window pretty much immediately as MM bought me several shots. They were both pretty drunk and they both insisted that I had to be in the same state. Then MMBF wrapped herself around me and insisted that I accompany them to her favourite bar which was some distance away.

I could have said no, but MMBF is a very striking and sexy woman and even though MM continues to warn me about how high maintenance she is, I'm not interested in her as potential girlfriend material. Nudge, wink. I've only met MMBF a few times, so we don't know each other that well and it was a surprise that she was so tactile this time around. She's always seemed so timid. We chatted briefly about mutual friends - QC2 - before MM let slip about a drama. It appears that MMBF has a long-term on-again-off-again thing with a bloke that's hit very rocky ground. I don't know anything beyond those details, but MM was asking me for advice.

I offered my own point of view, but MMBF is a very stubborn woman. I don't know what she was going to do, but I do know that she had already decided on her course of action.

We left and went to the bar that MMBF had been talking about, but the night kinda fizzled out there. Lots of MMBF's friends showed up, so MM and I had our own chat on the side for an hour or so before calling it quits and coming home. Even though I was only out for about four hours, I still managed, thanks to MM and MMBF's insistence on shots, to get completely wrangled.

I've been suffering a bit for it today, so I've been consoling myself with a bit of Facebook "browsing" after sending MMBF a friend request last night.

Pleased to meet you...

This week, MfW and myself have been "interviewing" potential new house mates this week. FNG has simply refused to take any responsibility in the process, even though he's the one leaving us in the lurch. It's been a mixed crowd and there have been some surprises - the twenty two year old secretary seeming much more mature than a late forties pilot, for example. There are an awful lot of time wasters though.

It's been a huge pain in the ass though and I can't wait for it all to be over - that'll be around this time tomorrow night. There have been a few people already who look like good candidates, including the twenty two year old, though given that she's approximately half my age, that's the one negative against her.

Roll on the weekend!

Opportunities.

I was trying to get CH out to our usual monthly work thing which is due to take place in around ten days. I think there's a good chance of it, but the conversation got on to other subjects such as diet and exercise. She was telling me about her recent running habit and suggested that I accompany her at some stage.

I immediately shot down the idea. I hate running. I find it to be boring and simply cannot motivate myself to do it. I explained this to her.Give me some team sports and I'll run myself into the ground.

The conversation ended as she had to leave, but it had given me cause to think. CH doesn't do long distances, so it's not like we'd be marathon training, and it would only be twice a week, max. That could easily fit in with the other thing that I'm documenting elsewhere and might give me an incentive to get out of bed an hour earlier in the mornings.

When we continued the conversation later in the afternoon, I mentioned to her that I might actually take her up on the offer. The exercise plus spending a bit of time with CH is never going to be a bad thing - it could certainly take the friendship forward, giving me some time alone to talk about things I'd like to cover, but never get around to - the funk, being single, the whole GB and CB thing etc.

She seemed genuinely excited by my semi-turnaround and showed me some of her routes. I still don't know if I will take her up on her offer (I really hate running that much), but the benefits are too good to instantly dismiss.

Looking forward or looking back?

For some reason today in work, I thought about this year's New Year's Eve. I can't remember why that popped into my head, but it did. That, then, reminded of last year and my disappointment in GB and GM, which then reminded me of CB and that provoked a feeling of sadness. And loneliness. The funk is simply that, a funk.

The feeling of sadness wasn't specifically about CB per se, but more the funk of singledom that has been hanging over my head since the turn of the year. Let's not kid ourselves though - if there was an opportunity gain to make contact with CB in whatever form, I'll be grasping it with both hands, but it's been a long time since she was at the forefront of my mind, even if there is currently no-one else grabbing my attention.

The loneliness thing is something that's been gradually building since last NYE. It's not just about the lack of romantic partners, but the reactions of friends - GB for a lot of things, S's focus on his core friends, GM has become unreliable, often citing a lack of funds, CH's lack of reliability etc. Both USHW and London Girl have suggested taking a more direct approach to meeting new people for romantic, and physical, engagements and that is my plan, but I can't get buy-in from the people I need to tag along. I'd love to go for a night on the pull rather than just a few pints or a singles night or speed dating and be more pro-active, but I simply can't get anyone to come along for the ride. No pun intended.

The unexpected.

Today was A Good Day. Nothing spectacular happened - no lottery wins or booty calls from Jessica Alba - but the little things all seemed to fall into place. Things at work started taking shape for the future (it's been a slow year to date, so something that has a more long-term feel to it is welcome). I deposited some money into my savings account today that will halve my credit card bill. The bill itself is not unmanageable in its current state, but with some big goals next year requiring finances, this is simply a small step towards that.

The banking cashier was a cute blonde girl who triggered a feeling of, well, something... and that hasn't happened since I last laid eyes on CB which was 18 months ago, so I engaged in some flirting. Completely unrelated, she managed to find out that I'd miscounted, so I got a "free" £20, and that led to more self-deprecating humour and flirting.

This afternoon, the entire office descended into some kind of lull. I don;'t know what triggered it - perhaps the unexpectedly hot and sunny day (we were due wind and rain), but it was a more relaxed atmosphere than recently and little work was done in favour of meetings and general mucking about.

The only downside is trying to put together an advert to replace FNG as he informed us last night that he's leaving and MfW and myself are completely in the dark about the landlord's intentions. The next few weeks will be unnecessarily stressful.

Go figure.

London Girl has been and gone and I think she had a really nice time. It was extremely busy - we barely had time to draw breath in the 48 hours she was in the country. Usually, I would just go to the pub with visitors, but London Girl wanted to explore, so I found a couple of interesting things to do.

We also managed to spend some time in the pub, but we were both so exhausted with the tourism-y stuff that it was nothing more than a couple of drinks each night.

I'd forgotten how close London Girl and I used to be, but that all came flooding back when she asked, on Friday night, if I were currently dating.

I replied in the negative and she asked the obvious question: "why?"

And so, with that one simple question, I sat for easily half an hour, just pouring out my frustrations over the past two years - CB, online dating, lack of introductions to friends' cute friends etc. The topics were obviously intertwined - CB and the friends introduction thing, for example, but I sat there, sipping my pint and telling London Girl how frustrated I was.

I was chastised for not dating E3, which prompted a discussion on whether I should have non-platonic feelings for women whom I find physically attractive. (London Girl's assessment of E3: stunning.) I was criticised for going to pubs and having a good time instead of Going Out On The Pull  (note the capitals) and my friends were criticised for not introducing me to cute friends. In fact, London Girl suggested that I got S and GM out so she could shout at them for being useless.

I did explain my "pressure" theory/preference where I prefer not being told about potential dates, and just getting people into the same room/bar to see if we click, but even at that, I'm still pretty sure that there have been scarcely any attempts over the years. Only the E crossover thing springs to mind and that was easily 8 years ago.

None of the above information is that new to regular readers, but the conversation is the important part here. Even with KfW2, someone I know cares for me a great deal and who is close to me, I still find it hard to talk about personal things. With London Girl, it all just came out with the gentlest of nudges and practically no alcohol. I actually wish I could be that open with KfW2 and CH (and others, but they're the main two).

Oh dear.

For the past week or so, I've been asking MfW or FNG to get in touch with our letting agent. Our contract is due for renewal at the end of this month and I want it sorted ASAP. Part of the problem is that FNG has work commitments that he needs to sort before we can do anything ourselves. Another part of the problem is that MfW is adopting a "fuck 'em" attitude because the letting agent is poor at her job and refuses to answer emails or return phone calls, so MfW is doing the same.

But now FNG is leaving. His work commitments now mean that he is being transferred now-ish rather than next year and we're going to have to find a replacement. I have my doubts about how long he's known this or at least how long he's been trying to get that question answered... we really needed to know this time last week.

Theoretically, we have about three weeks to find a replacement, but MfW is hoping we can wangle an extra month out of the landlord. This is where his "fuck 'em" attitude is dangerous as we're asking favours when he's been immature. Now, we've been good tenants - the only work we've required is because of wear and tear, bills are paid on time, it's only when we deal with the letting agent that MfW is difficult.

The timing is poor though. I have plans for next year that kinda needed sorted by around this time. Extending our lease means that I will be tied into the next lease until the start of October 2015. I might be able to escape a few months early if I am lucky, but it is a risk.

Plus there will be the undoubted headache of having to come to an agreement with MFW about a new flatmate and he will want to revisit the rent allocations. He thinks I'm not paying enough, but doesn't realise that it's because he got the ratios wrong when we last advertised for a new flatmate i.e. NSU. She ended up paying over the odds while both MfW and myself gained a little... but only by about £5 per month.