Surprisingly chipper for a Monday morning, while on the bus, I formulated a message for my tinder match. I find opening messages difficult when I have nothing to go on* so my generic, but I hoped reasonably witty at least, message would have to do the job.
Shortly after lunch, curiosity got the better of me. For some reason, I don't get Tinder notifications on my phone, so I had no idea if there was a reply or not.
There wasn't.
Nor was there any sign of a conversation history. Either I'd been blocked or she'd deleted her profile.
Sigh. I know that it probably wasn't personal on her part, but when it's a typical reaction on the rare occasions that the opportunity arises to approach someone, it's hard not to take it personally.
IG suggested "She probably just deleted her Tinder".
Well, duh. It's the reason behind it that's troubling.
USHW suggested she might have met someone, or perhaps the length of time between matching and messaging was an issue (around ten days ago according to this post).
I deleted my Tinder profile and restarted from scratch - new photos (chosen courtesy of IG) and new blurb, again courtesy of IG. According to IG, I was "doing it wrong" - a mantra, it seems from some of my female friends who can't grasp the multitude of approaches, photos, descriptions etc. I've used on dating sites over the past seven or so years, on and off with he same result.
Anyway, maybe someone new has appeared on PoF? After all, it's only a few weeks to Valentine's Day. Oh, who's that who's rocketed to the top of my "favourites" list, indicating they've been online recently? Yup, Tinder girl. Sigh.
And now we get back into the discussion about online dating being so impersonal and how its so hard to meet someone on sites that are meant for just that. I'm betting Tinder girl wouldn't simply walk off if I approached her in the pub, so why do it online?
* I knew a bit about the Tinder girl as her profile on PoF was a bit more verbose and it does appear that we share similar interests and opinions, but I'm not sure what the etiquette is for cross-referencing dating sites.
Monday, January 30, 2017
Sunday, January 29, 2017
The more things change...
So 2017 gets off to a familiar start with my first major social engagement being postponed. My night out with KfW2 was put on hold with less than 24 hours to spare due to a family emergency. It's not a serious emergency, if that makes sense, but it was something that needed sorted in person... and that meant she wouldn't be in town.
When she comes back at the start of next week, we'll try and arrange a new date, but it's probably going to be another few weeks away.
There was a backup plan, though. S, SG and GM had talked about heading out for a few drinks. Unsurprisingly, that all fell flat on its face. GM suddenly decided he hadn't been feeling well all week, despite being very positive about going out. SG suddenly decided that she had had a bad week and wasn't in the mood for going out despite, literally minutes before GM's message, talking about where to go.
The SG bit is the annoying thing. I know her and GM live in each other's pockets. We all know that. So just fucking admit to it! If GM doesn't come out, neither does SG. That's how its been since they hooked up nearly a year ago.
In other news, today is the day I plan on opening up communication with the girl I matched with on Tinder a few weeks back. As I suggested back then, I didn't want to start chatting then not be available to meet for weeks. My calendar has opened up somewhat, so hopefully a conversation with the pretty, blonde girl will lead to arranging to meet.
When she comes back at the start of next week, we'll try and arrange a new date, but it's probably going to be another few weeks away.
There was a backup plan, though. S, SG and GM had talked about heading out for a few drinks. Unsurprisingly, that all fell flat on its face. GM suddenly decided he hadn't been feeling well all week, despite being very positive about going out. SG suddenly decided that she had had a bad week and wasn't in the mood for going out despite, literally minutes before GM's message, talking about where to go.
The SG bit is the annoying thing. I know her and GM live in each other's pockets. We all know that. So just fucking admit to it! If GM doesn't come out, neither does SG. That's how its been since they hooked up nearly a year ago.
In other news, today is the day I plan on opening up communication with the girl I matched with on Tinder a few weeks back. As I suggested back then, I didn't want to start chatting then not be available to meet for weeks. My calendar has opened up somewhat, so hopefully a conversation with the pretty, blonde girl will lead to arranging to meet.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Organised.
Following on from my last post, I finally have the required bookings made for Saturday night. I also got a stroke of luck with the timing and managed to snag a table round my preferred times as well.
That means we'll have a good couple of hours after the meal to find somewhere else to go. I've made it clear that what we do afterwards is KfW2's choice.
She seems very pleased with the arrangements so far, just have to make sure that the evening lives up to its promise. Which it will, because we've never had a bad night out.
That means we'll have a good couple of hours after the meal to find somewhere else to go. I've made it clear that what we do afterwards is KfW2's choice.
She seems very pleased with the arrangements so far, just have to make sure that the evening lives up to its promise. Which it will, because we've never had a bad night out.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Disorganisation.
Following on from this post, I still. haven't booked something for this weekend. I changed my mind on going to the expensive place in favour of a similar, though not as expensive, restaurant. I know that KfW2 would like it - we've been before. Their only free table was 2 hours after I wanted to sit.
Except, as luck would have it, they had no seats for the time I wanted. So I ended up calling the expensive place, who told me a similar story, except this was an hour later than I'd wanted.
So I went to my third option, which again had no free tables at the time I wanted.
I went back to the second option, but they've not picked up the phone since Saturday night.
So, I'm trying to book a table at one of the nicer restaurants in the city for Saturday night, with four days notice.
I hate being this disorganised.
It's also a measure of how my head's wired. I had it in my head that we'd book for, say, 7 PM, but when that was not possible, I try elsewhere. Until I had been told by my three preferred options that that time slot wasn't available, the time was more important than the venue. Partly, I think, because I know that KfW2 would love any of the options I had, partly because KfW2's ability to turn up at that time, but partly because when I have an idea in my head, it's hard to shift me from it.
I really wish I'd just taken the later booking at Option 2 when I had the chance at the weekend.
Except, as luck would have it, they had no seats for the time I wanted. So I ended up calling the expensive place, who told me a similar story, except this was an hour later than I'd wanted.
So I went to my third option, which again had no free tables at the time I wanted.
I went back to the second option, but they've not picked up the phone since Saturday night.
So, I'm trying to book a table at one of the nicer restaurants in the city for Saturday night, with four days notice.
I hate being this disorganised.
It's also a measure of how my head's wired. I had it in my head that we'd book for, say, 7 PM, but when that was not possible, I try elsewhere. Until I had been told by my three preferred options that that time slot wasn't available, the time was more important than the venue. Partly, I think, because I know that KfW2 would love any of the options I had, partly because KfW2's ability to turn up at that time, but partly because when I have an idea in my head, it's hard to shift me from it.
I really wish I'd just taken the later booking at Option 2 when I had the chance at the weekend.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Goals. 2017 Edition.
Remarkably, I'm drawing a blank at trying to figure out some goals for this year. There are the perennial goals, of course - fitness/weight-loss, the not-really-a-goal of trying to meet someone. But other than that, I'm struggling.
So, in terms of what I'm likely to start doing, rather than importance, the first goal is fitness/lose weight. I haven't been brave enough to stand on some scales this year, so I've no idea what the scale of the issue is, but I know my goals. The main goal is to get down to 196 lbs. Once/if I hit that weight, then I will re-evaluate.
I've already done a couple of things - walking home from work with CC, but I need to do more. That will involve getting back into my yoga again. I've also got a Freeletics account, but I don't know if it's exactly what I'm looking for. What I will say is that it's decently priced at only a few pounds per week compared to a gym membership or a personal trainer.
I know that, roughly, I need 2500 calories a day. Walking home with CC burns around 350, supposedly. If I can recall correctly, my yoga sessions tend to burn around 400 calories. I know that a pound of human fat takes around 3500 calories to burn off. I need to revisit these figures for accuracy.
In order to maintain the regime, I need to see results. I need to see constant weight loss - a pound or two a week, consistently. That will keep me motivated. It's just a simple matter of mathematics and exercise. I need to have a weekly calorie deficit of at least 3500 calories to lose weight. That's 500 calories a day.
That will require a slight tweak to my diet as well. Portion management is the most important thing, but cutting out some foodstuffs will help without being a massive change. Ill need to refresh my memory on that side of things though.
I'm going to buy a fitness tracker as well to help me.
While it's not a goal per se, I still want to meet someone. I keep saying that I'm going to be more pro-active on online dating, but it's often hard to shake the lethargy due to the lack of results. There is currently one potential girl who I'm planning on contacting at some point this week. I'll consider other options, but I really want to kick off my fitness thing before getting into the dating game.
One other thing in the pipeline is work-related. I'm planning on getting re-evaluated at work for no other reason than it comes with a potentially big pay rise, but I'm due one due to a lot of extra responsibilities taken on. If I were to get the full amount, that would be enough to make life a little more comfortable. While I have money left over at the end of each month, a busy social calendar can really eat into that and make life a little difficult. That also means dating - going on dates is not cheap, so the extra money would be extremely helpful.
That might also allow me to do some travelling. FP has been asking me for a while to accompany him on a trip Stateside that I've put off for purely financial reasons. A trip away, especially somewhere warm, would be brilliant.
So, in terms of what I'm likely to start doing, rather than importance, the first goal is fitness/lose weight. I haven't been brave enough to stand on some scales this year, so I've no idea what the scale of the issue is, but I know my goals. The main goal is to get down to 196 lbs. Once/if I hit that weight, then I will re-evaluate.
I've already done a couple of things - walking home from work with CC, but I need to do more. That will involve getting back into my yoga again. I've also got a Freeletics account, but I don't know if it's exactly what I'm looking for. What I will say is that it's decently priced at only a few pounds per week compared to a gym membership or a personal trainer.
I know that, roughly, I need 2500 calories a day. Walking home with CC burns around 350, supposedly. If I can recall correctly, my yoga sessions tend to burn around 400 calories. I know that a pound of human fat takes around 3500 calories to burn off. I need to revisit these figures for accuracy.
In order to maintain the regime, I need to see results. I need to see constant weight loss - a pound or two a week, consistently. That will keep me motivated. It's just a simple matter of mathematics and exercise. I need to have a weekly calorie deficit of at least 3500 calories to lose weight. That's 500 calories a day.
That will require a slight tweak to my diet as well. Portion management is the most important thing, but cutting out some foodstuffs will help without being a massive change. Ill need to refresh my memory on that side of things though.
I'm going to buy a fitness tracker as well to help me.
While it's not a goal per se, I still want to meet someone. I keep saying that I'm going to be more pro-active on online dating, but it's often hard to shake the lethargy due to the lack of results. There is currently one potential girl who I'm planning on contacting at some point this week. I'll consider other options, but I really want to kick off my fitness thing before getting into the dating game.
One other thing in the pipeline is work-related. I'm planning on getting re-evaluated at work for no other reason than it comes with a potentially big pay rise, but I'm due one due to a lot of extra responsibilities taken on. If I were to get the full amount, that would be enough to make life a little more comfortable. While I have money left over at the end of each month, a busy social calendar can really eat into that and make life a little difficult. That also means dating - going on dates is not cheap, so the extra money would be extremely helpful.
That might also allow me to do some travelling. FP has been asking me for a while to accompany him on a trip Stateside that I've put off for purely financial reasons. A trip away, especially somewhere warm, would be brilliant.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Seen on Plenty of Fish today...
Headline: "WHY DOES NO-ONE EVER MESSAGE ME???"
Profile blurb: "If you're less than 6 ft and not hot then don't bother contacting me as you're punching well above your weight. Also if you don't have a professional career then I'm afraid you just won't cut it.
Must have your own house and car please."
She's attractive enough, but the blurb... She's a tall bird herself, so I can understand wanting a tall bloke, but the tone of the message is all wrong.
She's not alone either. Plenty of women have "demanding" profiles like that. I can understand preferences, but why rule anyone out at this stage? At least tone down the message, ladies.
Another one - a really attractive friend of my sister's:
"...If you are tubby, bald, separated, communicate in 'tx spk', not athletic, have no photo. ...no thank you!"
She's separated herself.
But that's an aside. I didn't come here to rant about women on dating sites. My list of "favourites" on POF is quite long. People who had something about them enough that I needed to keep track of them, in case I ever got the motivation to message them. It rarely happens. Mainly because I rarely get excited about people on a website, though it has happened in the past - CB, foir example. Date No. 1 as well, to a certain extent.
Well, I matched with one of my "favourites" on Tinder, though she doesn't seem to have been active on PoF for quite some time.
I think I might message her, but as I discussed with USHW one time, I don't like hanging around with these things. If I start messaging, then I'll want to meet quickly. I don't have any availability for at least two weeks, so I'm sitting here, hoping that she doesn't cancel or reset her account. That happened a while ago with one of CC's friends who I'd decided to message after we matched, only to find that, less than 24 hours after matching, she'd disappeared.
Profile blurb: "If you're less than 6 ft and not hot then don't bother contacting me as you're punching well above your weight. Also if you don't have a professional career then I'm afraid you just won't cut it.
Must have your own house and car please."
She's attractive enough, but the blurb... She's a tall bird herself, so I can understand wanting a tall bloke, but the tone of the message is all wrong.
She's not alone either. Plenty of women have "demanding" profiles like that. I can understand preferences, but why rule anyone out at this stage? At least tone down the message, ladies.
Another one - a really attractive friend of my sister's:
"...If you are tubby, bald, separated, communicate in 'tx spk', not athletic, have no photo. ...no thank you!"
She's separated herself.
But that's an aside. I didn't come here to rant about women on dating sites. My list of "favourites" on POF is quite long. People who had something about them enough that I needed to keep track of them, in case I ever got the motivation to message them. It rarely happens. Mainly because I rarely get excited about people on a website, though it has happened in the past - CB, foir example. Date No. 1 as well, to a certain extent.
Well, I matched with one of my "favourites" on Tinder, though she doesn't seem to have been active on PoF for quite some time.
I think I might message her, but as I discussed with USHW one time, I don't like hanging around with these things. If I start messaging, then I'll want to meet quickly. I don't have any availability for at least two weeks, so I'm sitting here, hoping that she doesn't cancel or reset her account. That happened a while ago with one of CC's friends who I'd decided to message after we matched, only to find that, less than 24 hours after matching, she'd disappeared.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
A question about manners...
...or etiquette.
If you invite people to your house, do you assume that in the absence of people saying "no" that they're attending, or should one always assume people aren't coming unless they specify otherwise?
I think I keep doing this wrong!
If you invite people to your house, do you assume that in the absence of people saying "no" that they're attending, or should one always assume people aren't coming unless they specify otherwise?
I think I keep doing this wrong!
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Soon...
I haven't forgotten about my now-traditional 'goals' post. I'm really busy with work at the moment - not good busy either, so I'm mentally drained by the time I get home. It's usually later than usual as well, though I have a couple of days time built up.
It'll be a few days at the earliest. It all depends how quickly I get this work stuff out of the way.
It'll be a few days at the earliest. It all depends how quickly I get this work stuff out of the way.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Happy birthday!
It's KfW2's birthday today. We don't do presents, but we do treat each other with food. Usually, it's a leisurely lunch, but with it being a bit of a milestone, it's dinner and drinks this year. I asked her if there was anywhere she'd like to go or if she'd leave it up to me.
She chose the latter, so the pressure was on to find somewhere she'd like. Well, not pressure per se, but I wanted to find somewhere that would do the occasion justice. I have a pretty good idea of what she likes - we've been to plenty of places that she's been vocal and positive about.
I had a specific place in mind, but had doubts. Not about whether she'd like it. I can almost guarantee that she would. The issue was with the price of the restaurant. It's slightly more expensive than the places we'd normally frequent, and it kinda made me wary of taking her there. It's only about 40% more expensive.
It also got ruled out because she was going there for lunch with CC... then that got cancelled. Then it was back on... then it got cancelled again.
Ideas Girl agreed when I voiced my concerns to her, though she doesn't know how close we are nor about any of the other stuff (and it's the last bit where most of the concern is coming from). But she did suggest that going to one of the nicest restaurants in the city might be a bit extravagant or that the perception might not be kind. Not from anyone who knows either of us, but others.
If I don't choose the expensive option, I have a couple of really good backup options, but the decision still needs to be made. I have a couple of weeks to think it through, though.
She chose the latter, so the pressure was on to find somewhere she'd like. Well, not pressure per se, but I wanted to find somewhere that would do the occasion justice. I have a pretty good idea of what she likes - we've been to plenty of places that she's been vocal and positive about.
I had a specific place in mind, but had doubts. Not about whether she'd like it. I can almost guarantee that she would. The issue was with the price of the restaurant. It's slightly more expensive than the places we'd normally frequent, and it kinda made me wary of taking her there. It's only about 40% more expensive.
It also got ruled out because she was going there for lunch with CC... then that got cancelled. Then it was back on... then it got cancelled again.
Ideas Girl agreed when I voiced my concerns to her, though she doesn't know how close we are nor about any of the other stuff (and it's the last bit where most of the concern is coming from). But she did suggest that going to one of the nicest restaurants in the city might be a bit extravagant or that the perception might not be kind. Not from anyone who knows either of us, but others.
If I don't choose the expensive option, I have a couple of really good backup options, but the decision still needs to be made. I have a couple of weeks to think it through, though.
Thursday, January 05, 2017
Happy New Year!
For the first time in years, there was no running around on New Year's Eve. The plans had been agreed upon days before with Sports Girl doing all the organisation and most of the usual crowd were out including SG, GM and FC.
SG has a new favourite bar, so that's where we were headed. I had some reservations - with new bars, you don't know how they're going to be and the place we've been to for the last few years has been excellent.
My fears were somewhat founded. It wasn't a brilliant night, though that might have also been in part to my mood which was very much "meh". I don't know why. As I've repeatedly mentioned to pretty much everyone, if Xmas is for family, then I regard NYE for friends.
The bar was half empty all night, there were few single women, the bands were appalling and we were sat right under a speaker that made conversation difficult at best.
But it still beat sitting in my house on my own.
SG has a new favourite bar, so that's where we were headed. I had some reservations - with new bars, you don't know how they're going to be and the place we've been to for the last few years has been excellent.
My fears were somewhat founded. It wasn't a brilliant night, though that might have also been in part to my mood which was very much "meh". I don't know why. As I've repeatedly mentioned to pretty much everyone, if Xmas is for family, then I regard NYE for friends.
The bar was half empty all night, there were few single women, the bands were appalling and we were sat right under a speaker that made conversation difficult at best.
But it still beat sitting in my house on my own.
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