Things that make you go "hmmm"...

Hot on the heels of my sex dream featuring CC a few days back, I had another one last night. This time it featured KfW2. Maybe calling it a sex dream is a bit much, but it did involve KfW2 and I being in a relationship. Sex wasn't the focus of the dream, though there were scenes where we were in bed, naked, and sex was implied. The focus was KfW2 trying to get me to open up, to communicate and to vocalise my feelings for her.

However, no matter how many times I told her that I loved her, she couldn't hear it or refused to acknowledge that I'd said the words. 

While CC's appearance in a sex dream was bemusing, KfW2's appearance is causing a little more confusion. I know that sex dreams aren't literal, but that still doesn't stop me from being concerned about KfW2's appearance in last night's dream.

In real life, KfW2 has made a couple of comments about the fact I've not told her that I love her as much as she thinks I should. Maybe it's just me, but while I have said it to her and meant it, telling someone else's wife that I love them on a regular basis, even platonically, doesn't sit right with me.

My friendship with KfW2 is very special to me, it's extremely important to me and I know that it's not something that's common: a single guy being close to a married woman. I know people have raised eyebrows that we've gone to the pub and gotten drunk together or that I've stayed overnight at her house while her husband was away. I'm not even talking about strangers who barely know us but people who've met us both, like CH, for example. 

I know CH was always intrigued by my friendship with KfW2. My brother-in-law was surprised when I'd said that I'd been at KfW2's one evening for drinks while her husband was out with his friends, and he didn't return home until lunchtime the next day. 

So, yeah, I love that KfW2 wants me to tell her that I love her even if it doesn't always sit right with me, because it reminds me that she cares.

But really, the events in the dream better mirror my relationship with FA2. We weren't great communicators, though FA2 might argue that she was (she wasn't). I didn't vocalise my feelings towards her as often as she wanted, though from my perspective, I always thought my actions should have said enough. She needed to hear the words though. And one aspect of the dream rang true: I did say the words. She claims I never did.

It's safe to say that I'm a little confused this morning, the dream has thrown me a little, and I miss KfW2. 

Weather or not.

I'm looking forward to the work summer party this coming Friday, though with half an eye on the weather forecast, it's potentially going to be a damp affair. We've formed a fairly decent core group of people who usually attend these things with Stalky Guy and Quiet Girl and myself, plus associated colleagues.

Last year, we sat outside and stayed well after everyone else went home. Whether that happens this time is another matter, and the weather will be a factor in that. In previous years, we've adjourned to CB Pub afterwards, which is kinda central to everyone.

I do pride myself in being able to bring everyone together, and everyone genuinely tends to get along, which is always a bonus. 

WTF?

I had a dream last night where CC and I went on a city break somewhere. Nothing out of the ordinary in that. CC features in dreams occasionally, travel features ion dreams quite often. What doesn't feature in dreams or thoughts in general is me and CC having sex.

But that was a large part of last night's dream.

CC is attractive, physically, she ticks boxes: brunette, tall, great figure. But I don't think I've ever thought about her from a sexual perspective. Her personality always deflects from her physical characteristics. Maybe a dream before? But never an actual conscious thought. Not that it concerns me... I'm a little bemused by it.

But last night's dream has given me though about travelling. 

And it was.

It was a decent night, last night. QC1 didn't show up, but she had been in contact with AM outside of the WhatsApp group.

I arrived on-time, got a beer and found some seats. Twenty minutes later, Mr AM walked in. 

"We're in the other bar"

CB Pub has like three different bars, and AM favours the one with no atmosphere, no natural light, is quite dark and is, IMO, very... oppressive?

So, yeah, they arrive later, instantly go to that bar then come looking for me. I don't think I blogged about it, but I was pretty sure this was going to happen.

Regardless, minor frustration aside, it was a decent night, catching up with AM and Mr AM. Another couple arrived  - the couple who said they were clearing out their kitchen.

But it's not something I'm inclined to do again soon.

We did talk about the useless WhatsApp group. I did say to AM that I was considering leaving it, which she was surprised about. My complaint about people not having the decency to reply to a question fell on deaf ears even though AM herself has been vocal about arranging things. The QC1 thing is a case in point. If I were relying on the WhatsApp chat, I could easily have been doing something else last evening.

"I was never not coming out," said AM.

"You suggested rescheduling in the group on Tuesday!"

"Yeah, but..." AM trailed off. 

I did try and catch the eye of an attractive blonde woman who was with a couple of friends, but AM's choice of bar was against me - not only is it dark and oppressive - it's not really a bar for mingling in the way the other bars would be.

She was really cute, though, in an Elizabeth Banks kinda way. 

Get on down.

While out at CB Pub last night, I saw a poster for my favourite local band. They're playing CB Pub a few days before Christmas. It's a Wednesday night, but I'll likely be off work anyway, so a few beers and some great music would be very welcome.

I think it might be stress free this year, too. I think we (the adults in the family) have agreed to only buy the kids, so no stress about buying presents as the kids will just want money.

Cooking up a storm.

Years ago, in the early stages of dating FA2, she decided to move house. That prompted two things: firstly, an unspoken agreement that we had to "christen" every room in her house and secondly, and most obvious, that she needed to do a clear out and pack.

As part of the clear out piece, we were doing her kitchen and I marvelled at how much foodstuff in her cupboards was out of date - mainly cooking ingredients like spices etc. I'm pretty sure I scoffed at her for having things that were ten years old in her cupboard.

Well, luckily no-one was around when I binned off a lot of stuff earlier today. Like FA2, a lot of spices etc. but also a lot of dried foods: rice, lentils etc. and cooking kits.

Hopefully, though, once the next few phases of house upgrades are complete, I'll have a better kitchen that will allow me to do more cooking. I do enjoy cooking, I just don't have the space currently to get into it properly.

And, yes, we did christen every single room in her house... many times over as it turned out. 

Here we go?

I'm looking forward to seeing AM and Mr AM tonight. To the best of my knowledge, no-one else is showing up. At least, no-one's said anything in the group chat. It really wouldn't surprise me if QC1 and her husband showed up. That's typical of QC1. She'd only have said anything if she were unhappy with the arrangements.

the girl who started the WhatsApp chat has claimed that she's clearing her kitchen in anticipation of getting work done soon, so she can't attend. Guess who else has been cleaning and clearing their kitchen in anticipation of getting work done within the next few weeks? Yep, me. And yet I'm still organised enough to attend. After all, this isn't a last-minute thing. The date has been out there since the start of the month.  Anyone not replying to say they can/can't make it is just plain fucking rude.

Plans.

Remember a few weeks ago, I stated in this post that I had tentative plans in place with AM and her husband to do dinner and drinks? Well, a few days after that, AM posted in the Quiet WhatsApp Group about it. I was the only person to reply. It's now two weeks after that again, and the tentative date mentioned is this coming Saturday.

I skipped the Quiet Group and messaged AM directly: are we still doing Saturday?

No reply as yet.

Regardless of what happens on Saturday, I'm leaving the group on Sunday. What's the fucking point when people don't even have the decency to reply to a message/question about meeting up? It's not even me being ignored, but I'm still angry at their uselessness.

(As an aside, I fully expect QC1 to be in touch with AM directly and if we do go out on Saturday, I expect QC1 and her husband to show up.)

Work and Play

Quiet Girl pinged our group chat in work earlier. Were we still going to the work even at the end of next week? I replied saying that I was. No-one else has said anything as yet, but I'm looking forward to it. It's been good fin the past few years and I think our group will be a little bigger than last year.

It might be similar to the year before that, though, where we ended up in CB Pub and QG's friend might have made a suggestion about me calling her.

That was a great night, and if we get close to having a night that good, I'll be pleased.

I will say that my capacity for alcohol has greatly diminished over the past year or so. Even on Saturday out with G, I only had like 5 pints over 5 hours and I was definitely not sober. 

It's weird... I can drink a lot more in the house than I can in the pub. 

But something to look forward to nonetheless. 

Walky talky.

Nerdy Girl finally replied to my message from last week. We swapped a few messages and we're going to meet on Thursday for a walk. It's been ages since we last met - maybe the start of June? So it'll be nice to catch up. The weather's gotten a bit cooler, so it'll be easier to do a walk of a few miles compared to last week.

Suits you.

Shortly after posting my last post, G was in touch. He was in the city. I replied and told him I'd meet him in an hour. That would give me time to finish a couple of chores, get showered and get the bus into the city.

And so it was, pretty much exactly an hour later, that I rocked up in a local tourist bar to meet G, his wife and youngest son. And it was good fun. We parted ways around 7:30 PM after roughly five hours of conversation and banter. Despite only having 5 drinks was very tipsy and horrendously dehydrated.

That's been a feature of me drinking alcohol over the past month or so - it doesn't take a lot to get me drunk, I don't like being drunk (even more so than in the past - this feels like a different type of drunk) and I get dehydrated really easily.

And as a side note, I had a bit of a strut on. I wore some of my new clothes - a shirt and a pair of jeans - and I caught myself in the mirror before I left and I looked good. I can't remember the last time I thought I looked good to the point where I actually had a confidence boost - probably wearing a suit and getting compliments from KfW2/eye fucked by CH.