Ring, ring.

A surprise phone call from KfW2 earlier. Unsurprisingly, she was in the car on her way back from the shops, cramming some last-minute chores into time she didn't have because she's off on a family weekend away for her mother-in-law's birthday.

The conversation was cut short because her husband was calling her and she promised to call back.

She didn't, of course. And I wasn't expecting her to: she had to go home, pack, sort our her three manic kids and leave for a 60 mile trip to the Air BnB.

But I sent her a message - Facebook reminded me of a visit to my house from KfW2 about ten years ago with her eldest daughter in tow, and I got a couple of really cute pics. I sent them on to KfW2. she replied quickly.

"I totally forgot to call you back! When are you free next?" 

Free next for what? A phone call? Dinner and drinks? I was getting mixed vibes from the question.

"I'm free anytime"

That's true.  After a busy-ish July, my diary is empty.

How long will it take KfW2 to reply? 

Hey, sweet thing.

I've mentioned before that I've lost weight over the course of the last like 20 months or so. And it was tough, but I managed to overall stick to the plan: portion size, less bread, less cheese, less snacking.

I never quite hit my goal - at my best, I get to within a pound or two (1kg) of my initial target weight - but that can't take away from the overall loss. 

But in the past two weeks I've had a serious craving for something sweet - anything really. Chocolate, ice cream, sweets... and it's not just a little niggle at the back of my head, it's a full-blown "can't think of anything else" for hours at a time.

I can't crumble. The "food noise" in the back of my mind still hasn't gone away despite nearly two years of eating better. It's still more prominent when I'm bored, and it's easy to be bored when you live on your own with limited in-person contact with other people.

Let's hope this craving goes away soon.

Wonderful?

Do you know who randomly popped into my head this afternoon for seemingly no reason? Sports Girl. I don't know why. I'm still her friend on Facebook, though I've not seen her post in ages. Last I heard, she was living in Spain with a guy, as a scuba instructor or something like that - a far cry from her days as an engineer.

Do I miss her? It's difficult to say. She "disappeared" long before she left the country when she started dating GM, and was at least self-aware enough to keep her distance when they split up despite being friends with The Crowd.

I daresay that if I re-read the lengthy conversations I had with USHW about her would bring back some frustrations around her flakiness and going non-contact for no reason. And a different kind of frustration from that two month period where I was trying to bed her. She did look amazing in that Wonder Woman costume though.

Dance the night away

I've booked my tickets for the gig at Xmas, with my favourite band at CB Pub. My sister and brother-in-law are going, too. While no-one else has said anything, I'd be very surprised if there weren't others there - AM, QC1 in all likelihood. I suspect M could show his face if I told him about it.

There's an outside chance that Quiet Girl might show up too if I let her know. She seemed to be quite impressed by the band at the end of June .

Even if no-one else shows up, I'm already looking forward to it. 

Grrr...

Adulting fucking sucks. I'm dealing with more family stuff - financial this time. And it always feels like there's more trouble than it worth. Like I can't just pick up a phone or send an email and get it sorted. There's paper work, applications... stuff that just rears its head for seemingly no reason.

And I think that's bleeding into some stuff that I want to do for me, to the house, and up until now I've been quite excited about getting the work done despite the fact it's going to decimate my savings, but now I'm suddenly anxious about it.

Sigh. 

Bah (cont'd)

Brother-in-law just messaged. He's literally waiting for the bus into town. I've just started cooking tea. Even if I were inclined to join them, I'm probably 2 hours from leaving the house. If he'd messaged an hour ago, I'd have cooked earlier or grabbed something in town.

Why is it so hard for people to communicate? 

Bah.

My brother-in-law sent a message at lunchtime. Did I want to go to the festival? I mentioned it in my last post. It's a music festival across the entire city centre. Facebook has been full of people having fun. But it's not really my thing. At least the music genre isn't really my thing.

I replied back and asked when they were thinking of going, I suggested that I'd probably go, but as it wasn't really my thing, I'd probably not hang around for long. I'd show my face, soak up some of the (supposedly excellent) atmosphere and then head back home once I'd had enough. And I reckon I'd probably not last 90 minutes, but it's the kind of thing that probably worth experiencing, right?

But that was hours ago. 

As I said, I'm not massively bothered about going, but still... I asked a direct question. Are they already there? When he said "later" did he mean this evening rather than the afternoon? I definitely got "afternoon" vibes from the message.

This is typical of my sister and brother-in-law. Communication is woeful. 

Chores.

I was going to cut the grass today - I've not touched it in about a month, and the weather forecast suggested it would be dry. but the weather forecast is wrong. It's been raining all morning, so that's scuppered that plan.

I also had a chore that I wanted to do in the city centre, but there's a massive festival going on, and it's going to be really crowded. I might wait until Monday morning, take some time off work and get it done then. It does need done though, so I can't hang about.

Urgh. FFS.

More poor quality sleep and a dream that felt more like a memory than anything else... purely because a lot of the dream did take place. It involved FBS and I having a slot of sex. And that was pretty much the dream.

In real life, we'd been to the pub, she'd asked me back to hers afterwards, we'd kissed on the sofa which escalated, she asked me to stay, I agreed, we went to bed, fucked, fell asleep and spent most of the next day in bed going through another couple of rounds. Late afternoon, I eventually left to go home, shower and change before heading out to the pub again. 

And that was pretty much the dream, except we were a lot more adventurous in the dream than we had been in real life.

Going back to the real life aspect of my memory/dream, we might have repeated the same feat that second evening, too. There was definitely a weekend where we did just have sex and go to the bar, but whether that's the night of this dream, I can't say. And because it was the middle of Winter - mid-January, I think - I don't think I saw daylight for nearly three days.

So not only am I still exhausted after nearly a week of rotten quality sleep, I'm now uncontrollably horny, too.  

Date for your Diary.

The poor quality sleep continues, as does the remembered dreams. This time, there's a festival in my hometown. I'm out with friends, enjoying the vibe and who sits beside us in the bar? Anna Kendrick. Obviously, I have a huge crush on her, so I'm chatting away, making small talk and it looks like she's actually enjoying herself and our company.

Then this faceless, unidentified, guy comes over and tries to butt into out conversation. I'm annoyed, but AK is trying to be nice, but this isn't working in getting the guy to leave.

And that's kinda the tone for the entire dream. I'm chatting with AK, we move from bar to bar, enjoying the festival, trying to get a feel for what she might say if I ask her on a date and the same, faceless guy keeps appearing to ruin the vibe we have, presumably by trying to get AK on a date. 

The dream ends when I wake up without any resolution. I don't have my date with AK, but neither does the random guy.

Wow.

As part of our work things, we often get in a private casino. We "gamble" using fake money, but it's usually good fun. I've posted before about one of the women who shows up to work at these events - our paths have crossed elsewhere. She's attractive and has a great smile.

Well, there's a piece in yesterday's LA Times about Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles fame, and stone me if the cover photo of the piece doesn't give off huge vibes of the casino girl.