Something to ponder.

For the first time since before Covid, work has announced a Christmas party. Usually, it's a good chance to dress up and "admire" co-workers. OK then, perv. Admittedly, it's been a good while since I've been to one. Maybe 2016? I remember one where I felt incredibly lonely after the table effectively emptied once the food was done, KfW2 disappearing, and just being really down.

I went home earlier that evening and haven't been back, I don't think.

I am a little tempted this year, but I'd need a new suit. I don't fit into my current suit because I have put on a lot of weight. I daren't step on the scales to see how bad the damage is.

There is something else to consider, but I'm in two minds about it and am reluctant to admit it publicly until I make a decision.

Salad Dodger.

"It's cold!" said KfW2

"It's bloody not, it's really warm!" I retorted.

"Maybe it's because of this," said KfW2 and patted my tummy.

Eeek. Am I actually noticeably fatter? I didn't think so, but I've done essentially zero exercise this year, so maybe my equilibrium has changed. It used to be about 216 lbs (just short of 100 kg).

I've done some stretching since I last complained about my bad back, but I've not yet delved fully into the yoga again. I need to sort out my eating habits too - I think I've been comfort eating since, well, about a year. Sigh.

Positive thinking.

This month is going to be very busy both professionally and personally. I've already had two social nights out. There's at least another one planned, with work, before the end of the month. There are a couple of other things in the pipeline as well, but they've slipped my mind for now.

In work, we're pretty much changing our entire suite of processes. We're years behind the current industry trends, but this is more to do with upper management than people at my level. In fact, if they'd listened to us when I joined the team, we wouldn't be involved in something this big. We've wanted to modernise our way of working as well as update the product we deliver for years, but were never allowed to. That's the trouble with the company I work for - they tend not to listen to us, only paying attention when someone in the upper echelons makes a decision. In this case, we got an industry renowned guy in, who pretty much suggested the changes we've been asking for for years. Only he wasn't suggesting this about my team or small departments but rather the entire company. We've spent millions of pounds making these changes, but it's been slow, not without issues and probably not as successful as it should have been.

This change means this month is going to be spent re-writing processes, meeting new team mates and doing lots of training. And it's going to get stressful.

I'm already stressed to a certain extent. Not as much as I was last year, but I don't feel that I've properly recovered from my boss working me to the bone then hanging me out to dry. My diet and exercise habits have been appalling since the turn of the year. Exercise-wise, I've been out of sorts for years due to various injuries, but my diet has taken a turn for the worse. I've increased the amount of takeaways and general junk/quick food I'm eating for dinners for the same reason that I've struggled to get into exercise again - mentally exhausted by the time I come home from work and want something quick and easy.

I've just done a Tesco shop with ingredients that I can use to cook proper dinners, including some healthy options - a filling Tabbouleh salad, for example. With the nights brightening, maybe I can spend half an hour in the kitchen prepping something tasty and healthier than a Chinese takeaway. If I can do the same for lunches, not only can I eat healthier, but I could even save some money as well.

Doppelgangers?

I received a text message from KfW2. It had a picture in it.

"Is this GB and CH?" asked KfW2.

I looked at the pic. It was weird. The five girls kinda resembled CH, GB, OK, MFF and one other... but I couldn't say for sure that it was the women I knew or an uncanny set of doppelgangers. CH, especially, looks different in pictures (and usually for the worst).

An hour later, after logging on to Facebook, MFF had posted pictures of her big night out at the weekend, complete with photo that KfW2 had sent. It turns out that it was a picture of the women I knew. It didn't do any of them any justice at all.

I replied to KfW2 and told her that it was CH and GB. Presumably she already knew about the others.

A few hours later, KfW2 phoned. She wanted to talk about the photo, in particular how "rough" CH and GB looked.

"They look really gaunt" said KfW2.

"I don't think photos in general do CH justice, to be perfectly honest," I admitted.

She put it down to the exercise they both did. CH has always been a runner, but GB has had an epiphany and started running too, despite being vehemently against exercise for as long as I've known her.

"Take that as a warning," I advised. KfW2 had been talking about getting back into running again to lose some weight. She used to be almost fanatical about running and the gym prior to meeting me. Well, to be more accurate, prior to reconnecting with the bloke who is now her husband. And she used to be thin. Too thin, if you ask me.

But, she thinks she's putting on weight. If she is, it's not obvious to me. But I know I am, and I need to be less lethargic and get back into my yoga again. Physically, I should be good to go. My shoulder is pain free (though doesn't feel "right" but that's not a barrier). It's just shaking the tiredness when I get out of the office and return home to give me the energy and motivation to do an hour's worth of exercise of an evening.

To do...

In a few days, I'll be back to work after nearly two weeks off. In that two weeks, I have accomplished pretty much bugger all. It doesn't bother me now, but it will once I return to work.

There are quite a few things around the house that I want to do, that have been on my list for some time - just little things to keep the whole House Project moving along. For example, clear the loft of the crap that was left behind. Or pull out some weeds in the back garden.

There was nothing urgent, nothing expensive, nothing beyond me. All I needed was time (a couple of hours per task)  and energy.

The illness, while certainly not debilitating, didn't help with motivation, and neither did my usual Christmas mood.

I should sit down and pencil these small tasks in for the New Year though.

Countdown...

At some point on New Year's Day, I'm going to be stepping on the scales to see what the size of my challenge will be in 2018. I know that I'm heavier than last year - the tightness of my suit at my Xmas dinner doesn't lie, but by how much?

Whatever it is, it'll be the heaviest I've ever been.

The exercise portion of what I need to do is pretty much taken care of - yoga and Bodyweight Freeletics. If I'm lucky, then some other stuff that FP mentioned as well. I have some weights at hand as well, but with DDP and Freeletics, I shouldn't need them.

I'm still not 100% convinced that my shoulder has healed, but I need to start somewhere.

The hard part is the dietary portion. I love food, me. I know that I should give up bread and crisps (crisps are easily my biggest vice), but that adjustment will be the more difficult aspect. Eat less, more frequently.

It's just a preparation and willpower thing.