Low energy.

KfW2 called at lunchtime.

"We've not spoken in ages!"

She's right. It's been a few weeks, but to be honest, I've been tired, stressed and de-motivated in general. Reaching out to people is not at the forefront of my mind. Mostly that's due to the above, but the recent frustrations in trying to arrange something with KfW2 and the ex-teammates have also drained me.

We made some small talk, and then the subject of the socialising this coming Sunday was raised. I shared my frustrations with KfW2.

"I know I can't make it, but I really appreciate that you've put the effort in."

I was delighted to hear that. She has the ability to say the right things, even if I don't see her as often as I'd like these days and she can be a PITA at times.

"Yeah, well, someone else can arrange the next one. Stalky Guy was being awful too."

I explained what Stalky Guy had been up to (I've not blogged about it before, but he was being very immature).

"Yeah, that's SG for you."

"Well, maybe we can do something by ourselves?" I offered. 

It was a token suggestion. KfW2's availability at this time of year is pretty much non-existent, plus she's been difficult to get a hold of for quite a while now. After all, it has been at least 5 years since we last had a night out, just the two of us. KfW2, as usual, was excited.

"Yes, we should!"

At this point in the conversation, we were starting to move on to work-related stuff, but she was interrupted by her husband calling.

"I'll call you later" I promised. And we hung up. I don't know if I have the energy though.

Grrr...

Since I bought my current house, I've found it difficult to get people in to give me quotes for jobs around the house - upgrade heating, fix windows etc. I don't know why that is. Even before Covid kicked in, it has been a massive ball ache.

Another example is that my roof has been leaking. It's weird that it only happens when the wind blows in a certain direction and the rain finds a way in. But I first noticed it about 18 months ago and it has slowly, but surely, been getting worse. either that or the direction of the wind has shifted from west to east to the opposite direction.

I tried three or four people at the start of the year and everyone told me the same thing.

"Too busy."

"Can you come out, price up the job and pencil me in any way? The roof is leaking it needs fixing."

"Sorry."

Cut to a few weeks ago. I found another roofing guy. He promised to come round the next day and estimate. He never showed up. I followed up this week and lo and behold, he actually turned up today and quickly estimated the job.

And then the bombshell.

"I won't do it unless you get your neighbours on board. It's pointless for me to fix one side of the chimney and have it leak from the other!"

It made sense, but that meant I now have to go and talk to my neighbour about a job that will cost a couple of hundred pounds that he might not even need right now. Obviously, the emphasis is "right now". If his chimney isn't leaking, it will in future.

I need the work done. If I have to, I'll pay for the entire thing, which will add about a third of the price.

It's frustrating though because I hate talking to people that I don't know. And now I have to talk to my neighbour about money. There's other stuff that needs done - our shared fence is on its last legs, for example. So, if I pay for the roof work, he can pay for the fence. I just hate the conversation and I'm already stressed out about it, even though my neighbours are nice people (even if we don't really interact).

Happy Friday!

Nothing really to say today, but I need something to cheer me up, so here's a collection of Alison Brie pictures.

Countdown

At this time of year, things start slowing down, workwise. The performance reviews are locked in, so that can be put to the back of my mind until February. But with Christmas looming, other things start to ramp up. 

There's nothing planned, socially, though I am trying to get KfW2 and some work people out for drinks. Concerning The Crowd or FP, I've heard nothing, nor have I proposed anything, but that will change.

Come dine with me.

Earlier this week I sent a message to the WhatsApp group asking if anyone wanted to meet for drinks. I've been trying to arrange something for the past year. I was originally going to say "we've been trying..." but that's not true. it's always me who makes the suggestion, who tries to get people to make a decision or confirm their attendance.

Perhaps stupidly, I thought I'd give it one last go. One of the first to reply was KfW2. She was definitely interested. But was this the same KfW2 who told me she was too tired and stressed to think about going out for dinner and drinks? Yes, dear reader, the same.

You'll not be surprised to hear that I'm still waiting for final confirmation so that I can book something. How is it this difficult to get six people to agree to a date?

last minute.

Last night was a last-minute night out with G. Well, I say "night out", but it was a couple of pints in a quiet bar local to G's Mum's house. G had tried to get FP and M out, but they're both ill at the moment. Still, it's always great getting out with G. It was good to be able to talk, get some stuff off my chest and talk. G always proves a willing ear, should I want to open up.

THT

On Reddit, they have a thing called 'THT', or 'Thigh High Thursday' where people post pictures of themselves, celebrities, models etc. all wearing stockings or thigh-high socks. It's a good look.

What does that have to do with me? Well, it provokes a memory... several actually. FP and I used to hit a couple of bars on a Friday night. Over the space of several months, we'd see the same faces time and again. One of those faces belonged to an attractive woman roughly our own age. She had this habit of wearing short skirts and stockings.

On more than one occasion she caught us appreciating her attire, and though FP and I can't say for sure, we both believe that she gave us both a show. She would move her legs apart slightly or adjust her skirt to show a little more leg. Her boyfriend appeared to be oblivious.

One night, FP invited one of his work friends out. We never mentioned the woman, her attire or her behaviour, even though she was in the bar that evening. However, it didn't take long for him to nudge FP in the ribs.

"Have you seen that girl in the skirt and the stockings?"

We laughed and explained what had been happening over the past few weeks.

And then, one Friday, she wasn't there, and we never saw her again.

So, for my own THT, have some Cobie Smulders and Monica Belluci.

Lookalikes.

On a forum, a question was posed... "Post a picture of someone who is your type". Well, not a question per se, but a statement.

I think I have two 'types', both similar. One would be a tall, athletic brunette. So, Charisma Carpenter, Allison Stokke, KfW2, Daniela Ruah, Morena Baccarin and possibly Alison Brie and Jessica Alba etc. The other would be a petite version of that - Kate Mara, Cristin Milioti or Anna Kendrick.

Someone posted a picture of a redhead. She's possibly an adult actress and I don't know her name, but she really reminds me of Attractive Neighbour. And not in a "squint and you might see a resemblance" like I've mentioned before with Anna Kendrick and CAB, for example. But a genuine, "they do actually look alike" resemblance. Pity I can't find that photo now.

Happy talking.

S had a guest over the weekend. It was the girl who used to be his great unrequited love. I think he's over it, though I couldn't say for sure. Plus, GM pulled her too on a previous visit.

Regardless, she's great fun and easy to talk to, so I do like it when she comes to visit. She seems to rub off on S too, so it's actually possible to have a proper conversation with him instead of the film-related nonsense that usually falls out of his mouth.

I think S might be a little like me in that he feels more comfortable talking to women rather than men. He opened up to KfW2 about one of his previous relationships. KfW2, in turn, was incredulous that I didn't know any of the story.

"He doesn't talk to me about any of that."

"You're not asking the right questions"

"I am... I just can't get him to talk about anything other than films. All he does is speak in film quotes."

And that's true. I've blogged about it before.

But it was great to get out of the house, to have a proper conversation with someone. We talked about dating, careers and some other stuff. She asked for some pretty serious career advice and was both surprised and pleased at what I said.

I need to do it more often.

Moments of madness

For some reason, over the past few days, I've had both RB and K on my mind when I wake up. I can't remember any recent dreams, so I don't know if either woman is featured. However, they have been in my thoughts almost immediately upon waking.

I doubt it's a coincidence that the most unpredictable women that I've been physical with (i.e. bonkers) are featuring heavily in my thoughts at the same time.

Back in time.

I still remember the bemusement from A and USHW when I admitted a liking for women's backs. I have to say that even after all this time, a well-fitted, backless dress really does do something for me.

Case in point: Christina Ricci

And Gal Gadot

Answers.

KfW2 replied to my questions after her concerns from yesterday. It's not surprising, in hindsight. I knew that she was frustrated with her new place. What I didn't realise was how bad things were. KfW2 doesn't like people knowing that she's underperforming to her own ridiculously high standards.

But I think there's an element of running before you can walk to her current crisis. Since she left our team, she's moved through three different jobs, all promotions. No sooner had she completed the minimum time in one role, then she moved into another. There was no time to gain experience, to become comfortable with what she was doing, to learn and to grow.

And this new job in the new company was similar, though the jump in knowledge and experience required for it was much bigger than she'd experienced before.

Bear in mind that she left because she felt she wasn't getting support. I am not sure that's correct, but I feel, sometimes, there's an entitlement to KfW2 when it comes to getting help from other people. She's complained about babysitting by her parents (or the lack thereof) and yet I've seen first-hand that her parents adore both her and her kids. Having been promoted three times in four years and had at least two opportunities handed to her on a plate, I don't think lack of support was an issue.

But it's kinda the same argument. No support, a perceived lack of efficiency, too much work for one person and she's stressed.

I tried to suggest dinner and drinks, but she claims she's too tired to do anything. So, who knows when we'll get out? I'll try and call her soon though. She sounds like she needs a chat at the very least.

Urgh.

So, guess who's just found out that he's not only put on his boxers back-to-front but also his tracksuit bottoms too?

Yup, this guy.

Fricking Mondays, man.

Surprise!

Tinder threw up a surprise this morning. I think I've posted before about the crushes from my primary school. Most of my male friends were fans of the blonde girl (mentioned in this post), whereas I was more drawn towards a brunette, elfin girl and another girl who I find difficult to describe (but I think I've mentioned that when I think of her, I'm reminded of Cristin Milioti).

Sadly, neither "Cristin Milioti" nor the elfin girl popped up on Tinder. But the attractive blonde girl did. She's still very attractive. Athletic, too, which ticks one of Ruuude's boxes. I've swiped right... I nearly always do with women I know, even though "know" is a bit of a stretch.

Similarly, a senior manager from my company appeared on Tinder a few months ago. Again, we know each other at least to say "hi" to, and she's also an attractive blonde woman, but I did not swipe right that time.

Comeback.

A somewhat out-of-the-blue WhatsApp message from KfW2 earlier. Not the fact she was in contact... despite not seeing each other face to face as often as I would like, we do message frequently. The "out of the blue" aspect was that she made a reference to perhaps not being as happy in her new job as she would have liked and said that she might want to return to her old place of work.

Now, while the tone of the message was that she was being flippant, she sounded frustrated any time I've spoken to her about work. It wouldn't surprise me if she wanted to return. The thing is, she never left for a pay rise. She left for a perceived lack of support. I say "perceived" because ever since she left the team where we worked together, she has constantly been rewarded, promoted, and praised. For KfW2 to cite a lack of support always seemed strange to me, but admittedly I knew little about her new team and department.

Obviously, I've replied with questions. Let's see what she says.

Chat and chimichangas.

CC sent a text.

"Dinner?"

I didn't particularly want to. It's been difficult forcing myself to leave the house recently. Plus, I have this weird thing going on with CC. I don't mind her company, but I really don't like the almost interrogation that goes on when we're out with the sudden shift in conversation when we're, IMO, halfway through a topic of conversation.

I agreed to an early dinner though. I was knackered yesterday and didn't want to be out late. I was also feeling a little under the weather, so not in great form. CC picked a Mexican place just a few yards away from CB Bar.

After dinner, CC suggested heading to her place for drinks. I had already explained that I wanted an early night, but she tried to force the issue and huffed when I declined the invitation.

Still, the food was nice, and we went for gelato afterwards.

Burn it down.

I've been continuing my bingeing of Burn Notice. I'm now at the start of Season 6, and quite frankly, it's now jumped the shark. Not even Lauren Stamile can save it as it stands.

Reminisce.

Facebook's memories from today involved a photo dump by GB. That's not unusual. We've been at so many over the years that they pop up fairly regularly. Today's one, though, reminded me of a specific night, ten years ago.

It was a Hallowe'en party. CH was out. We sat at the same table and CH was extremely tactile. There are pictures of us together.

I'm pretty sure this was the night that CC expressed an interest in GM, romantically. It's also the night that CH "grabbed" my butt. Well, not grabbed per se, but as we stood at the bar, chatting, someone came to take a picture. She put her hand on my shoulder. As the picture was taken and the photographer (probably JB or GB) walked away, she slid her hand down my back to my ass. And it just kinda stayed there for a bit.

I miss those days. I miss the ambiguous stuff with CH. And I miss actually feeling something for someone... I genuinely can't remember being genuinely excited by someone since the days of CH and CB.

How to brighten your day.

Over the past while, I've been binging "Burn Notice" - a weekly action series that's utter nonsense, but that I've always enjoyed. I've never sat and watched it religiously though. It's always been the kind of thing that I'll randomly find on the TV and end up watching, then lose track of for a while.

I might have mentioned it on the blog previously since it stars one of Ruuude's old crushes, Gabrielle Anwar and one episode featured another old crush, Stacy Haiduk.

So, guess who's been in recent episodes? Only Lauren Stamille (from Community), who gives off KfW2 vibes every time I see her.

And an added bonus in the latest episode that I've just finished... Charisma Carpenter! In a bikini!

I'm actually seeing, for the first time, definite similarities between CC and LS.

Bah, humbug!

Hallowe'en is over, which means the race to Christmas starts now. I've probably said before, but this time of year is easily my least favourite. The seven weeks between Hallowe'en and Christmas Day just depresses me - the days get shorter, the weather gets colder, and Christmas is shoved down your throat.

The flip side to the above is that the week between Christmas and New Year is one of my favourites. I tend to be off work, seeing friends, and the pressure of buying presents etc. has gone for another year.

So, here we go...