Bad decisions.

Just before Xmas, my neighbour arrived with a selection of Belgian beers, not common to shops local to me. I knew all of them, they're very nice, but I've not had any of them in years. Interestingly, one of them reminded me of a night I spent chatting to GM and GB about CB and MFF, shortly after I saw CB in CB Pub. At GM's request, I ended drinking a leftover beer that was 8.5% in strength. Not a great decision for a Monday night.

But good memories, tinged with a little regret at a missed opportunity.

Ups and downs.

I've been feeling really off for the past few days. I can't put my finger on it. It's a combination of a few things - there's a lack of sleep (though for no real reason that I can put my finger on). I've been queasy for the past 48 hours, too. Emotionally, I've been up and down.

The emotional thing is, I think, partly influenced by KfW2's job hunting. Oh, and the fact that a lot of people are leaving my current company including MFF and the attractive HR girl. Loads of people who originally joined around the same time as me i.e. people with similar backgrounds and histories.

While I've not sat on my arse doing nothing (I'm currently in the middle of my second re-training in three years and I've moved teams/departments), I do kinda feel like I'm being left behind. I can't figure out if this is a personal or professional thing. Professionally, I don't want to do what KfW2's done and go into management. That's not me. Personally, I think those Tinder statistics have hit me a little harder than expected.

Should I apply for jobs in another company? I'd get a great pay rise, though strictly speaking, I don't need the money. I am comfortable. Nerdy Girl asked me to apply for her place, though I really need to address the anxiety issues before I even think about any of this stuff.

Sigh. I need something nice to happen.

Time flies

A digest email from LinkedIn reminded me that it's been six years since CH left for a new job. I've barely heard from her since then, but that's not massively surprising given how things were when she left and our last-minute reconciliation.

Would things have been any different had she left a year earlier when we were on much better terms and she was sending me gushing text messages expressing how awesome I was? Somehow I doubt it. I know she's still in regular contact with OK, GWTNA and MMF, often seeing them socially. I still think she didn't know how to handle a male/female friendship and that was causing her as much angst as her other feelings.

Frustration.

I've always suggested that my catchment area, for online dating, is small. Even in real life, six degrees of separation? Hah! Someone always knows someone where I live.

I've posted before about coincidences, so that shouldn't be a surprise. The frequency of them might be, though.

I was at my sister's house earlier when my bro-in-law started talking about a girl. He looked at my sis.

"You know the girl who..." then described her profession, then her name.

I know her. Well, not "know" per se. I'd seen her on Tinder and she has a distinctive name.  I think I once suggested to USHW that I would like her for Xmas shortly after I'd swiped right. What's not to like? Cute, great figure, brunette, successful.

My bro-in-law showed me a pic. It was the same girl.

"Yeah, I know her."

"Oh? Where from?"

"Tinder"

"She was on Tinder?"

"A few years ago, yeah."

We chuckled at the small world we live in and moved on. No-one asked me if I'd swiped right on her. Did they assume I did?

Half an hour later, my sis is talking about a uni friend.

"I think I know who you're talking about," I said.

"She's not changed since uni," bemoaned my sister, referencing her looks.

She surfed Facebook. Sure enough, it was cute uni friend.

"I've seen her recently," I admitted.

"Where?" asked my sis.

I smiled.

My sis and bro-in-law looked confused. I thought the logical leap was simple. They clearly didn't.

"Oh, Tinder! I though you'd have assumed that." I said.

Then my sister started talking about how... I wanna say eccentric... she was. I don't think that's the right word to use, but it seems to fit this story.

Again, they didn't ask if I'd swiped right. Would it have made any difference?  (I did, FTR, every time she popped up).

Like CB and MFF from ages ago, contact with a cute girl, is so near yet so far. I don't think my sis is close enough or in contact enough with cute uni friend for there to be any kind of introduction via my sister.

Funny how.

I was going to make a post about how, one time, a taxi driver was incredulous that E and I weren't an item. This would have happened a few weeks before she left the country. Then I realised two things: first of all, I'm pretty sure I've posted about this before, so I won't repeat myself. Secondly that it's not the first time someone has confused my relationship with someone else.

An ex-colleague (we never really worked together, but our company is social so I'm on 'head nodding' terms with hundreds of people) approached me in a bar one night and asked how long KfW2 and I had been married. KfW2 was at the bar at the time, hence his inquisitiveness.

Finally, a schoolfriend of mine asked G how long I'd been dating a girl I had a massive crush on (SJ). I've posted about this girl before - destined to leave and go travel and live elsewhere and was mature beyond her years. And I did have a massive crush on her, and we were friends and I probably was spending a noticeable amount of time hanging out with her, hoping to see something that would indicate the attraction was mutual. It wasn't, though. But at least I can understand this one. The two above are mysteries.

There was also the fact that CH's friends, and maybe even CH herself, thought I was trying it on with her when we first got introduced. They told me as much, one night, when we were out for a work thing. But that always confused me because, in the early days, there was nothing to be suspicious about, and when we did get to the ambiguous touching etc, it was a two way street (and mainly coming from CH, plus she started it). So I found it funny that OK, MFF and CH were admitting that they initially thought I was trying to get into CH's underwear, only to change their minds after seeing no evidence, when CH would regularly grab my ass surreptitiously or linger on a kiss just a fraction longer than you'd expect. 

Nice dreams.

I had a dream. My first in some time, actually, as I've been sleeping really well recently. In it, the pandemic had ended and we were all allowed out again, to socialise.

Unsurprisingly, FP and I were in CB Bar where were were joined unexpectedly by KfW2. We adjourned to a table, drank and had lots of fun. In the middle of the evening, who should approach us but MFF and OK. They were out, doing the same as us, catching up with friends.

"We're finishing dinner, we'll come over once we're done" said OK. MFF had a gleam in her eye.

A short while later, MFF and OK did indeed come over to join us, and who was with them? CB.

And so began the introduction that, in real life, I'd been desperate to get all those years ago. We started talking and she turned out to be everything I'd want in a partner: intelligent, funny, independent etc. In the dream, I spent a long time trying to figure out CB's relationship status, but she, OK and MFF were not giving anything away. 

I woke before any kind of resolution.

Frustrated. Disappointed.

Memories

Facebook reminded me today of two things: that it's F's birthday. She's been going through a tough time of it recently, so I must sit down later and send her a message.

It's also the 8th anniversary of the night I sat with GM and GB in the hope that I might kick off a chain of events that could see an introduction or something with CB.

It was only the second time ever that I actually reached out to friends with a view to meeting a girl (the first being AM/QC1, and that was 'safe' as I'd already kissed QC1 at a party). I'm still kinda disappointed in GB that nothing really happened despite some gentle prodding. I was delighted that GB offered to reach out to MFF, but frustrated that she didn't seem to do anything after that.

I was (and still am) very conscious about pushing too hard or even admitting how much I was interested in meeting CB. Maybe I should have admitted that I'd seen her on the online dating sites and this wasn't just off the back of a glimpse in the pub on NYE?

Still... water under the bridge now.

Wistful thinking.

The recent picture of CH prompted a bit of nostalgia last night. It may or may not have been alcohol-fuelled. It was tinged with a great sense of disappointment though, of what might have been. After all, this was a woman who confided in me when she was pregnant, long before she gave everyone else the good news. This was a woman who sent some gushing messages (albeit drunk) about how fabulous I was as a friend, who turned to me for help and advice when she was looking for a new job and who claimed to be actively looking for someone for me to meet. She even told me that she was considering giving her then-unborn child my name if it was a boy. I believe she was eventually talked out of it by OK and MFF.

Ignoring the will-they-won't-they goings on, CH was someone I could have been close friends with and it saddens me to this day, even with the many, many times she disappointed me, that it ended the way it did.

Oh dear.

Facebook reminded me that it's the seventh anniversary of the night I made initial moves with GM and GB to see if we could figure out how to turn our acquaintance with MFF into, well, something with CB. An introduction? A blind date? I'm still disappointed nothing came of it.

If I recall, it ended up being rather drunken, helping GM get rid of the last of his Christmas beer, including some rather strong Belgian beer. And it was a Monday night then, as well. That didn't end well.

Girly Nights Out

I bumped into MFF today. She asked if I was going to go to the Xmas Party. I'm not. It's not fun any more and the people I used to have fun with have moved on. MFF is going - she has a routine with OK and another girl (and previously CH as well) where they'll all get ready to go out at MFF's with a few drinks then arrive just as the meal is being served, and follow that up with a few hours of dancing.

And, quite frankly, I've no desire to socialise with Stalky Guy on my own. If I am being honest, the years of favouritism shown to him has bred resentment when there's only the two of us. That's why I don't do our monthly work thing if it's only the two of us any more.

KfW2 is going, though she might only stay for the meal and leave. My offer of a bed for the night has been refused. I had kinda hoped that she'd be out a while, take me up on my offer and we'd at least have a few drinks when she got back into the house. After all, she managed to stay up until well after 4 AM last year with CC when she stayed there. Still... if KfW2 is not staying at mine, that frees me up to try and get a few friends out for a beer or two.

Memories.

Facebook has reminded me that today is the 6th anniversary of the night I went to GB and GM's apartment to talk about the realisation/discovery that CB was a friend of MFF.

I still think about CB sometimes, but I rarely think about how or why nothing ever seemed to come of GB talking to MFF, even though it bothered me at the time.

Had I misread it? Had I made assumptions? Or had I not been clear in what I had hoped would happen?

If I remember correctly, GB did talk to MFF who said that CB was single and lovely, but I had hoped that  something more might have come from that - an opportunity to meet or something.

It never did, obviously.

I've always been reluctant to ask for help in meeting people and sitting with GM and GB was well out of my comfort zone which, I think, increased my disappointment in GB at the time and the general lack of, well, anything.

Like most people (I presume), I hate ambiguity, so the lack of a definitive outcome via GB was the worst possible ending as far as I was concerned.

Doppelgangers?

I received a text message from KfW2. It had a picture in it.

"Is this GB and CH?" asked KfW2.

I looked at the pic. It was weird. The five girls kinda resembled CH, GB, OK, MFF and one other... but I couldn't say for sure that it was the women I knew or an uncanny set of doppelgangers. CH, especially, looks different in pictures (and usually for the worst).

An hour later, after logging on to Facebook, MFF had posted pictures of her big night out at the weekend, complete with photo that KfW2 had sent. It turns out that it was a picture of the women I knew. It didn't do any of them any justice at all.

I replied to KfW2 and told her that it was CH and GB. Presumably she already knew about the others.

A few hours later, KfW2 phoned. She wanted to talk about the photo, in particular how "rough" CH and GB looked.

"They look really gaunt" said KfW2.

"I don't think photos in general do CH justice, to be perfectly honest," I admitted.

She put it down to the exercise they both did. CH has always been a runner, but GB has had an epiphany and started running too, despite being vehemently against exercise for as long as I've known her.

"Take that as a warning," I advised. KfW2 had been talking about getting back into running again to lose some weight. She used to be almost fanatical about running and the gym prior to meeting me. Well, to be more accurate, prior to reconnecting with the bloke who is now her husband. And she used to be thin. Too thin, if you ask me.

But, she thinks she's putting on weight. If she is, it's not obvious to me. But I know I am, and I need to be less lethargic and get back into my yoga again. Physically, I should be good to go. My shoulder is pain free (though doesn't feel "right" but that's not a barrier). It's just shaking the tiredness when I get out of the office and return home to give me the energy and motivation to do an hour's worth of exercise of an evening.

Centric.

When CH and I fell out (or rather CH stopped talking to me), it was because I had criticised her. The first shot fired was her reliability. I say "shot", but really I don't think I was *that* blunt. 90% of the time, she'd agree to do something social then cry off with a day or so to go, often with the flimsiest of excuses.

When we did have a chat about it, it was also suggested that everything revolved around her or was done the way she wanted. Numerous times, for example, I tried to get her for a coffee to chat about something personal only for CH to turn up with MFF or OK in tow. On the flip side, social engagements that CH had a say in were rarely cancelled.

This was why I'd been critical. Having to constantly work around someone, regardless of the chemistry or trust, is not a friendship.

So, it was interesting to see what was going to happen when CH sneaked in to our Xmas party. After all, this was something she counter-suggested when I suggested buying her a birthday drink a few months ago.

Well, let's put it this way... I didn't hear from her. Neither did KfW2. Neither did GB. Three people that she was close to at one time and was supposedly looking forward to meeting.

I'd left the party early due to a funk, so I've no idea if she made any effort to hunt me out. The lack of text message asking my whereabouts would suggest not, though. As would KfW2 and GB's lack of contact.

As usual, it was all about CH.

A Christmas Digest (Part 1?)

Another digest of sorts, covering the entire week. It's been eventful.

It started off badly. Fresh off returning home from KfW2's house, I was in bad form all of Sunday. It was nothing but tiredness. Well... not really. Something resurfaced on Saturday night that hasn't shown its face for quite a few years - my non-platonic feelings towards KfW2. While that in itself is not an issue - they were put back in their box sharpish and I don't feel guilty about these feelings nor do they trouble me - the issue is, unsurprisingly, this put me into a funk.

But it was mostly tiredness.

On Monday, while I was having coffee with KfW2, D called. That's never a good sign - we usually email or text. Friction Guy's father had passed away and the funeral was on the Wednesday. In addition, D had a couple of tickets that he and Friction Guy were going to use on the Tuesday, would I mind going instead? It wasn't my cup of tea, but it might be interesting enough, so I agreed. In addition, and out of the blue, SG messaged me on Whatsapp. Some small talk for an hour before she went quiet again. Why bother? It's a little sad - we were close. We messaged a lot for about 6 months and got quite close. Our conversations were quite personal - opening up to each other. For it all to go quiet almost over night has been frustrating and disappointing.

As I was taking myself off to bed, I wasn't feeling 100%. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew something was wrong. An hour after I went to sleep, I woke. Every fibre in me ached. When I lay still, it hurt. When I moved, it hurt. I was also running a bit of a temperature. There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that, again, while it wasn't queasiness, was definitely not right. I tossed and turned and lay still most of the night. I don't think I got a lot of sleep - the odd fifteen minute doze here and there, but nothing significant or refreshing.

Soon, it was time  to get up, to get ready to go into work. I'd already decided to work from home on the Tuesday, but wasn't going to let work know until after I'd had a shower. Maybe a long hot shower would wash away this, well, whatever it was. I wouldn't find out. As I let the shower run through, I felt the need to make an urgent detour into the toilet where the previous night's dinner made a surprising reappearance. Urgh.

So, working from home then. I was only twenty minutes into my first batch of emails when I knew that I'd have to take a half day. The lack of sleep and general not-wellness was proving to be too much, but that led to a dilemma. I had planned on taking a half day on the Wednesday for Friction Guy's dad's funeral and to get ready for the Xmas party. If I were going to take a half day to try and rid myself of this awful virus thing (Norovirus had been suggested, though it seemed too mild to be that bad boy), then I'd not be able to make the funeral. It wasn't really a decision I could make though - it had been made for me. I spent all of Tuesday afternoon in bed, but thankfully started feeling better around 8 PM.

I was nearly back to normal on Wednesday morning. I wasn't sure if it were simply lack of sleep or the virus, but I was hopefully on the mend. I had to be - that evening was our works Xmas party. Ultimately, while I usually enjoy these things, I was underwhelmed this year. I think it was mostly because I was coming off the back of the 24-hour virus and a lack of sleep that had been plaguing me, for various reasons, since the previous weekend. A couple of the highlights/more interesting points to note:

• CH was there! She doesn't work with us anymore but was there to pick up OK and MFF - her old coffee clan. That in itself says it all - while I would have to fight to get CH alone, she used to do coffee with these people twice a day (as well as car share twice daily). We chatted for about ten minutes but it felt a little forced, at least from my perspective. Remember, I'm still waiting for her to arrange a coffee from our last contact at the end of August.
• KfW2 was as stunning as ever.
• I had suggested to KfW2 that if she wanted to stay at mine, then my spare room had finally been decorated and furnished. She had been due to stay at CC's, but CC had cancelled for personal (and understandable) reasons. KfW2 refused a couple of times before admitting that she had issues with people talking and what they would think if she took me up on my offer.
• Some of the HR girls scrubbed up really well. KfW2 disagreed.
• A cute, albeit horrendously drunk girl tried to chat me up as I was leaving for my pre-booked taxi, so I couldn't follow through to see what happened. Stories emerged the next day from IG that the drunk girl had subsequently ended up kissing some other bloke.

I was meant to be at a friend's house on Friday, but WhatsApp was a hive of activity on Friday from SG, GM, S and FC. The upshot was that SG, GM and S all went out to the pub on Friday night. I didn't get involved in the arrangements because I had my friend's thing, but that got cancelled at the last minute and I simply couldn't face the crowds in town. Plus... I find it hard to give SG any time these days. It's the fact that she's effectively disappeared off the face of the planet since she got together with GM with only the odd snatched conversation in between.

I have had a couple of days off though, my sleep is almost back to normal and this week, at work, I've pretty much nothing on. By the end of tomorrow, I hope that my Xmas shopping will be done and I can get it wrapped and forget all about it.

Oh dear.

A work colleague is getting married this weekend and GB, CH, MF and MFF (amongst others) are away to help her celebrate. GB has just posted some photos on Facebook and those of CH are really not doing her justice at all.

I actually think she's very pretty in the flesh, but often photos really don't do her justice.

Not that I'm ever going to say that to her.

And finally...

Another funk this week and a lot of annoyance at myself. Around this time last year, it came to my attention that it looked like CB was no longer living in this city. Sad to say that I was still hoping that I'd get a proper introduction to her or at least bump into her when out and about (I knew we shared the same favourite bars and cafes). However, a bit of Facebook stalking indicated that she might have been living just outside of London.

I projected a little and part of me assumed/hoped that whatever it was, it was only temporary - a secondment or placement for work - after all she's close to her family (her three sisters at least) and had recently become an auntie again. I'd made a similar decision myself about living abroad some years ago. Also, whilst doing my online dating thing last year, CB's profile on Match.com was still active (she had logged on several times while I was a member, though she never read the message I'd sent) and she was still listed as living here.

I'd still hoped that she lived locally and that I'd get that introduction that I'd always wanted and was even looking out for her a bit on New Year's Eve. However, some Facebook stalking again has confirmed that she's still in London and looks as if she'll be there for the foreseeable future. It was semi-accidental. I did a search for R2 to leave her a message, clicked on CB's sister by accident (they share the same first name) and then clicked on CB's name as she'd left a comment on her sister's page.

One of the most recent comments was a friend arranging a lunch date with CB in the middle of London and was dated only a few weeks ago. My heart sank at the confirmation. Her Facebook account had been updated as well. While it still says that she lives here, it's also been added that she has moved away.

Obviously, I'm disappointed. The confirmation means more than just disappointment, though. I am angry at myself for still feeling the attraction with CB, even after all this time. I'm angry at myself for not taking the chance to talk when I saw her in the pub. The anger directed at GB and MFF for not a) getting in touch with CB's sister quicker and b) not getting a definite answer is raised again. That leads on to the reminder that my friends in general haven't been that helpful (refer back to this post from April 2013) in getting me to meet new people and then, in turn, that reminds me of the ongoing issues with CH and this post I made from around the same time. And to top it all off, the ongoing woes about not meeting anyone who is interesting me from an attraction point of view.

And, ultimately, I think that's the problem. I was still hoping for a lucky break with CB because no-one else has taken my fancy and now, with that effectively ruled out once and for all, I'm left in the situation where I am still extremely unhappy at my single status and have nothing on the horizon. I think if I'd done any dating at all over the past couple of years, CB wouldn't have been an issue. I've never been this, well, infatuated with anyone else.

However, as USHW reminded me, I always wanted some definite closure on this and that's what I have. I'd rather the closure was a definite introduction, but that's neither here nor there now.

Last Christmas...

After all the talk this year about CH, I had pretty much forgotten about some aspects of last year's work's Christmas Party until USHW asked a few questions earlier about this year's.

We (me and group of colleagues) turned up early to a pub near the hotel and started drinking quite early. By the time it came to meet everyone else, four hours later, I was more than tipsy. When KfW2 arrived, I berated her for her hairstyle before complimenting her on her ass in a figure hugging dress. She was really not impressed.

Later, I bumped into CH and GB. GB was staying at the hotel and had brought in some illicit booze which she was sharing with people. When I got to the room, there were already a few people there, including CH. CH was wrecked. I've never seen her that drunk before (and consider that I was nowhere near sober myself) and found it all amusing.

I also had to sit beside her and cover her modesty as she lay back on the bed, her dress rising up and giving off more of a show than she'd realised. We had our drinks and prepared to leave GB's room and return to the throng. CH squeezed my thigh and whispered that she was going for a nap and could I come and get her again in half an hour.

I think I saw a bit of mischief in her eyes, but it was hard to tell. I left the room, returned to the party and mingled a bit, but all the while I had an eye on the clock. After about forty minutes, I excused myself from a conversation and returned to GB's room. When I was about twenty yards away, the door opened and GB came out, followed by CH.

CH looked at me. It was hard to read, but I'm convinced it was a look of disappointment. CH leaned up against me as we returned to the main room, and even under the watchful eye of GB, CH was being very tactile in her usual subtle way.

We didn't see a lot of each other for the rest of the night, but she hunted me out at the end. I walked her and her friends (MFF and others) to CH's sister's car as she was giving them a list home. As they all got into the car, CH turned and kissed me. Again, a peck on the lips but one that lasted just a fraction too long. Luckily, everyone apart from CH's sister was drunk or there might have been more made about it. CH got into the car and left.

By this stage, KfW2 had forgiven me and offered me a lift home. The Christmas party ended half an hour later when I was dropped at my place.

Sigh.

I'm feeling tired, a little depressed, disappointed and very lonely right now.

I was tagged in a post about eleven hours ago on Facebook by CH. In it, she suggested a night out, possibly with KfW2. I didn't see this until I met with CH for coffee this morning at ten o'clock and she told me about it. The reason for the suggestion? She can't make it next week. Plans that have been in motion already for nearly three weeks and she still can't put aside time because of yet another emergency, this time robbing her of money rather than availability.

I was looking forward to that night out for a number of reasons, but the main one was to talk about my relationship status. CH has often asked and commented on it, but we've never really had a proper conversation about it and most times it's been mentioned have been while we were in work - somewhere I don't like having personal conversations.

We'd kinda already started talking about it - I had already suggested, semi-seriously, that CH and the mutual acquaintance's job that night was to find me a woman, so we were already heading down the road to having that conversation. Right now, I feel the need to fill her in on the past eighteen months - GB, CB and MFF for starters, but also online dating and KfW2's lack of understanding, because it's all led to me being very unhappy right now with that aspect of my life. While social nights out aren't intrinsically tied to my relationship status, being let down, regardless of the notice period, does add to the loneliness. This isn't just a CH thing either - GM's recent distance etc. has all fed into this. And it's the one over-riding emotion I'm feeling today, more so than anger or disappointment or sadness.

I sent her a message after afternoon coffee and told her that we should go out for lunch next week. I want to have this conversation with CH, but I can't have it in work and I think we need more than a fifteen minute coffee break to do it justice. As of my leaving work this afternoon, she hadn't replied, so I don't know where this is going to go.

Here we go again.

It was our monthly work night out on Friday night and it was a good night, even if most of my usual acquaintances didn't turn up. I did my usual semi-flirting with JB with liberal doses of cheek and boundary pushing. I'm surprised she doesn't slap me to be honest. Fun aside, I called it quits at a sensible time and headed home.

I have a night out with CH and a mutual acquaintance in a few weeks that I am really looking forward to. There's also an option to invite MFF out as she knows everyone else who's going out, in fact she's good friends with CH and our mutual acquaintance.

I'm being selfish though. The idea of inviting MFF out is purely to see if we can talk about CB, rather than enjoy her company directly.

Regardless of who goes out, I can definitely see CH talking about my relationship status. If MFF is out, then that could easily segue into a conversation about CB (she's still the last person I've seen whilst out and about who really made an impression on me).

USHW doesn't think it will pan out that way and she might have a point. I still have issues in steering conversations the way I want them to go and it always feels awkward to me to be more direct in nudging a conversation the way I want.

The choice seems to be either to invite MFF and hopefully move the CB forward or to finally lay it to rest or not to invite MFF and enjoy the drunken flirting that CH seems to indulge in (the reason it's a choice is that I don't think she'd ever do it in front of her friends).

The relationship status unhappiness is almost constant these days, from being something that only came about a couple of times per year and I'm very much looking for a long-term rather than short-term solution.

Frustration.

The urgent thing that G had to deal with a few days ago was a death in the family. I've known G for many years and while our families weren't friends, they did know each other a little. Going to the funeral was a no-brainer for me. M and BR were there also and we showed our faces at the house afterwards.

That meant I arrived into work in a full suit. Normally, I don't really like wearing suits, but I went shopping with KfW2 last year and got one that I really like and really feel comfortable in. I think that comes across when I wear it because I've had plenty of compliments (though, to be fair, I've always had plenty of compliments when I scrub up, even dating back to FA2).

I bumped into CH in the lobby and she could barely contain herself. In fact I'd go as far to say that she pretty much eye fucked me, which was a huge ego boost. We man aged to arrange coffee for that afternoon. I messaged USHW to gloat about the obvious frustration that I'd caused CH.

I got changed out of my suit and later met CH and she voiced her disappointment that I'd gotten changed. However, the tables were turned. She'd removed her coat that she'd been wearing earlier and was wear a black vest top under a sheer, black blouse. It showed off her figure really well and as she was playing around on my phone, I got a good angle for a perv.

To say that I was frustrated after that was an understatement and USHW laughed when I reported that fact as well.

I discussed the upcoming work thing in a few weeks time which CH (as usual) has said she'll attend. We'll have to wait and see if that actually pans out though. And even if she does turn up, it's likely that MFF (who has recently returned to work) will be there too which would cut down on any shenanigans, but could open up the possibility of talking about CB/dating in general.