*yawn*

It's safe to say that I haven't been myself recently - probably over the past month. It's hard to put my finger on the cause, but it's probably a combination of quite a few factors including, but maybe not restricted to: lack of sleep due to my neighbours not being aware of their surroundings and heat-induced insomnia, boredom at work (I've had nothing to do for quite a while now), "the funk" (it's been hanging around in various stages since I started (and finished) online dating a while back.

The tiredness is probably the biggest factor though. I've been mentally exhausted for what seems like ages, my fitness thing has kinda semi-fallen by the wayside for a few weeks and I find myself being very short-tempered (a sure sign of tiredness).

I need to get back into the fitness thing again and I have plans to do so next week, but that alone isn't going to solve my issues, but it might help a little, at least raise my spirits a little.

I've a few social things coming up to look forward to - a big night out in a few weeks, seeing QC2, out with D and FBS etc.

Last minute things.

A few days ago CC text me and asked me to go out tonight with her to a local-ish pub that serves food. As much as I like CC, I can't sit with someone whose only topic of conversation is themselves, so I declined citing "possible plans". That's not a complete lie - at the time, I had thought that I might get out to the same pub as CH and see how things went, but that's was ruled out last night.

Instead, KfW2 sent a text late last night and asked if she could tag along if I was going to the pub. I didn't realise that she'd also sent it to CC, but I replied in the affirmative.

I wasn't planning on it, but as it turned out to be a nice night here, I thought that I might as well.

I was sat in the bar with CC for almost an hour before KfW2 turned up with her husband and we spent a few enjoyable hours talking rubbish about all sorts of things. Eventually, KfW2 made it clear she wanted to move on, so we left. KfW's husband was meeting a friend of his at another bar, CC was going home, so KfW2 asked if I wanted to go for something to eat.

I replied positively, partly because I wanted to stay out longer and KfW2 is always good company and partly because I was only going to go home and order a takeaway anyway.

We found a nice looking place and sat for a few hours, chatting away about nothing in particular (though CC's self-centeredness might have been mentioned) and generally chilling out before her husband called her and asked for a lift home (less than two hours after meeting his friend in the pub).

An unexpected, but otherwise enjoyable start to what is going to be a quiet weekend.

Bah.

CH is out and about tomorrow night with a friend of hers. I had been hoping for her to be in my home town so that I could try and engineer a repeat of this night, albeit with a slightly different outcome. I tried to confirm that with her today, with the aim of starting to plant the seeds, but it turns out that she's going out in her own home town instead.

She's due to come out with us in a few weeks' time, but that'll be a completely different night out.

A real blast from the past.

Years ago, when I first started university and the internet was still in its formative years, I used to waste time hanging out in a couple of IRC chat rooms.

Like all social things, do it long and regularly enough and you'll find yourself talking to the same people. That happened to me. I clicked with a few people  - a couple of public schoolboy types from London, a female student from London and a couple of people from New Zealand. I especially connected with the female student and one of the girls from New Zealand and we became fairly close. However, even in those early days of the internet, I guarded my privacy.

None of these relationships were secret and they were both platonic, so much so that when I was dating FA2, she would often chat to both women on IRC with me, or sometimes when I was off playing football or whatever.

I did meet London Girl eventually - a weekend in London visiting friends and a handy, spare afternoon, meant we could meet. So we did. And things were no different offline than online. A side note here... while I was in London this weekend, FA2 randomly called me out of the blue while she was on her sabbatical. This was before mobile phones were commonplace, so she phoned home where she was told I was in London. I'd often told her that I couldn't afford to visit her (which I couldn't), but spending money on a trip to London must have annoyed her a little, even if it was about 10% of the cost of a trip to see FA2. Looking back now, I should have realised that there was a reason she wasn't THAT annoyed.

London Girl met a boy in the same IRC chat room that we frequented. She fell in love. She secretly left the country knowing full well that her extremely religious parents would have lots to say. Before she left, LG sent me a letter. In it she told me how much she valued my friendship and said some really nice things. She also included a letter to her parents, confessing everything. So I posted it from my home town, giving off a false trail of "clues" to throw her parents off the case. She was a young woman in her early 20s, so I really didn't have any issues with this (beyond the whole leaving the country to meet a stranger thing).

We kept in touch, on and off. The friendship was always there, but we were losing touch - she wasn't online as much and the last time I did the long-distance snail mail thing was with R2. But I knew when she married the same boy, when she completed her degree, making peace with her family back home, when she was pregnant... all the big events, but it was just that. Even after she joined Facebook, conversations were few and far between and usually short.

I'd almost forgotten about her, despite the fact it's her birthday in a few weeks' time, until I got a private message on Facebook last night.

"Come and see me in Scotland!" LG demanded. "Or I can come and visit you!"

I asked for further details. It appears she's back in the UK for work for a few weeks over the summer.

The conversation continued, but it had a tone that I've not seen before - while she was never serious per se and was always joking, this was different... playful. LG has changed... a lot... but she was talking me round.

We swapped contact details (which, miraculously, were still the same ones from years ago), and the conversation paused as I had a meeting to attend. We will meet up when she's back in the UK, I think. It just has to be seen if she's coming to visit me or if I am going to meet her somewhere.

Excuses, excuses.

I was out with MfW last night for a few beers and some World Cup. Unexpectedly, the conversation took a semi-serious turn and we ended up talking about FNG (I see problems arising there in the next month or so) and my love life.

MfW was asking questions. I didn't want to tell him about the whole CB and on/off funk, but I did tell him that I went through moods between being single not bothering me and actually wanting to meet someone seriously. That was, according to MfW, an "excuse". An excuse for what, I don't know because he wasn't able to tell me. That's part of MfW's problem - he often has strong ideas which he is not afraid to vocalise - but often cannot explain why he has the point of view that he does.

With that in mind, I got the subject off my love life and onto other things such as FNG's inability to close a door quietly and the upcoming, expected troubles.

FNG doesn't want to sign a lease for a year when ours is due renewal in August. I do, because I've had plans in progress for the past few years that will all come to a head next summer and a year long lease ties into that quite well. I think MfW wants to sign for a year, so we might be asking FNG to leave. I certainly don't want to be looking for a new housemate in February with the potential that the landlords will get sick of us only signing 6-month leases and demand a 12 month lease at that time which really screws with my own plans.

Oh, and MfW has some cheek complaining about FNG's door closing abilities when his own are probably the poorest in the house.

Girl talk.

E is away home and I only got to see her the twice (and the second time was only briefly and was kinda hogged by her younger sister). It's disappointing but with a small child in tow and more family than usual coming out of the woodwork, her time was always going to be limited. Despite that and the fact that contact is becoming more and more infrequent, I still miss her.

A night out last night with BR, his wife, M, MM and E3 was uneventful, but fun. E3 was her usual self - slightly more tactile than you might expect but not enough to be obvious to anyone else or enough to cross any lines. She does have a boyfriend though, so this behaviour from her is intriguing, but I don't know what her endgame is. We don't see enough of each other for it to become anything else... and I'm not sure I want it to.

Despite the fact I was off work today, I did meet KfW2 for lunch. She was asking all about E3, from the initial night where she was trying to pull me, to the night she explained to her boyfriend about me to last night. I was open enough with her, even admitting to the tactile stuff that was going on . I don't think KfW2 knows what to make of it either, but it's not a dilemma I'm interested in figuring out.

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

KfW2 popped in to work on her day off today with a new, short hairdo. I approve. Unlike a lot of blokes, I don't mind short hair on a woman. Some suit it, some don't. KfW2 is very much the former and looks really, really well for it.

Ups and downs.

I'm still kinda in my funk, but I think that's been exacerbated by sleeping issues over the past two weeks which are undiagnosed. Mentally, I'm shattered and a night out with KfW2 last week wasn't as fun as I had hoped. She asked me the next day what the problem was as she had seen I wasn't in tip top form. I mentioned the sleep issues, but not the funk.

I know, I know... I should really have opened up, but part of me still thinks that "news" is out of date. The funk kinda knocked me on my fitness goals though and a bad week (in terms of hitting goals) didn't help matters either. I've been a bit lax over the past week or so regarding that. The start of the World Cup, a bout of really good weather have raised the spirits, though the good weather has subsequent side-effects in that the female population is out in nice summery clothes looking all nice and sexy and really not doing my horniness levels any good.

There was some disappointment in a planned couple of hours with E this evening having to be cancelled due to E's family commitments coupled with her lack of availability, KfW2 has cried off a work thing on Wednesday night due to her husband arranging other things without consultation but both those were slightly negated by contact from QC2 for the first time in ages and a tentative plan to meet within the next few weeks for drinks.

All-in-all, I am in better form, but there is still that niggle at the back of my mind about the singledom thing.

Get the funk out,

Another funk over the weekend... well, since about Thursday of last week. I don't know what prompted it - possibly the fact that Tinder still hasn't thrown up any matches - but equally something else that I haven't been able to put my finger on.

It's very definitely one of my "I don't want to be single" funks.

I'm feeling slightly better today, but only by a little bit. The funk itself just reminds me of the complete failure of the online dating experiment at the start of the year and the fact that CH was asking if there were any women in my life earlier today hasn't helped.

Oh dear (cont'd)

GM just text to say he wouldn't be going out tonight. Why he couldn't have done that two hours ago is beyond me.

Oh dear.

Another few hours of very enjoyable personal time with KfW2 and I leave slightly disappointed that we only seemed to make small talk to the entire four hours. I know that's partly my fault - I still have an inability to control conversations the way I would like and be able to voluntarily open up about myself.

On the flip side, it's not like I had anything I specifically wanted to to say to KfW2 - at least not anything relevant or recent. I do need to learn to open up to my friends though.

I'm meant to be seeing GM this evening, I think. If that's the case, I definitely need to talk to him about a few things.

Good news... and old friends.

I sent a quick Facebook message to FBS, D and that crowd today, suggesting we meet up for our infrequent trip to the pub. FBS tried to decline, citing a change in circumstances... those circumstances being her pregnant status.

We congratulated her but told her it was no excuse for not coming out to the pub.

So we have an agreement in place, we just need to sort out the final details.

Making plans.

I've put plans in motion for a night out with the usual crowd - CH, GM, KfW2 etc. for the start of July and it's gotten good traction right now and the three above have already said they're interested in coming along.

Obviously that will change closer to the time, but right now, I'm pleased.

Good times.

Last night was a great success. I went into town early to meet up with E and her sister and enjoyed a good hour laughing and messing around with them. E is very like myself - we're tough nuts to crack and conversations tend to take some time to build up steam but E's sister is much more direct - she just has that kind of personality.

So, unsurprisingly, it was E's sister who was asking all the questions. FP was very amused when he turned up to see me chatting quite closely to an attractive looking brunette. There was a bit of good natured banter about GM and E's sister (she asked about him, so I sent him  a message) but by the time he turned up, she was long gone.

GM and FP (and his wife) got along really well - I've had good fortune when introducing different circles of friends and we spent the rest of the evening just generally chilling, chatting and having a few drinks. I think it really helped GM as well after his recent breakup.

Maybe I should see if E's sister wants to meet for a platonic drink at some stage? Getting someone out who asks lots of questions might help me with my privacy issues and I did admit to her that it was a problem.  Oh, and I have tentative plans to see E one more time before she goes home.

The past few days have caught up with me though - that's Wednesday, Friday and Saturday and I'm just about to leave the house to visit family, so more running around!

I'll be glad when Monday rolls round. I need the rest!