An all-female digest.

CH's attendance at the work thing tomorrow night has suddenly been put in jeopardy by child-minding issues. It's disappointing, but unsurprising. It's happened before. That's reduced my own enthusiasm for tomorrow night, which I had been looking forward to quite a bit and although GB and MF are good company, I fancied a bit of light flirting and ambiguous too-ing and fro-ing.

Still, a lack of CH (and her insistence on drinking shots) might mean I have less of a hangover for meeting DSC on Saturday for lunch and shopping.

I have lots to update DSC on, not least the CB thing (still nothing from GB or our Mutual Facebook Friend on that score) and the plastic date thing that I'm doing as a favour for MM. That's taken an interesting few turns this week already as the initial contact came in on Tuesday night and was, how can I put it, enthusiastic. It certainly didn't seem like it was a platonic thing from the way the text was written and subsequent contact hasn't really swayed me from that initial assumption. It was a message from MM earlier today that kinda, sorta put my mind at ease when it was pointed out that the girl in question is ten years my junior and probably very nervous about meeting new people.

I still have a certain level of reservation about it all - I worry that she's looking for more than just a trial run and that I'll then have to deal with fallout. I really don't like fallout and have often made sacrifices when it looks as if it is on the cards. Turning down E3 last year after a birthday party is just one recent example, but there have been others. I guess it's why I try and date outside of my social circle, so that if something goes "wrong", then I can walk away.

I guess this all goes back to the brief few months when I was fucking FBS. I was just interested in a fuck buddy, she wanted more. As we worked together and had plenty of mutual friends, plenty of people tried to get involved when it looked like I was gonna walk away (which I was, to be fair) which really didn't help - partly because I am stubborn and while I didn't want to offend FBS, I knew that she wasn't what I was looking for in a girlfriend. I also didn't think that it was their business.

That still resonates with me, even today. I'll try not to announce plans or goals or anything that will potentially happen until I know for sure that things will pan out the way I want. That's why I was (am) keeping the CB thing as close to my chest as I can though, through necessity, other people have found out and been let in on the, well, not secret, but knowledge.

Regardless, it looks as if I will be meeting up with this girl at some point next week - we still need to arrange the details, but even that seems to be more trouble that I think it should.

Something to look forward to.

Most of this week is to be quiet. Weather permitting (i.e. no snow), I am going to make a big effort to get to the gym. I've been doing bits and pieces of other things, but probably not as much as I should have, but with a charity run to do in April, I have to start doing some proper exercise.

In addition, I have a work night out on Friday with amongst others, CC, CH and GB. Obviously I'm particularly looking to getting to the pub to spend time with CH, but I have a sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind that CB could play a part by making an appearance. That's based on absolutely nothing more than it's what I would do if the situation were reversed and I was investigating a guy for GB. With CH in attendance, Friday night will be lots of fun, but it has the potential to be extremely interesting too.

Ponderation

I've kinda taken MM up on her offer of a date with her friends and my contact details are, I assume, heading her way even as we speak. I did make a mention of the CB thing with a brief description of the scenario, so that MM knows that this is very definitely a platonic date (or, if I am being honest, the least important of the two potential dates I might have planned for the near future). Still, let's look at this objectively... it's the end of January, and I could potentially have two dates with a matter of weeks.

MM's offer has given me a reason to ponder if she was actually serious about MMBF not being my type - too sophisticated (and by extension, too high maintenance). After all, within the past three months, MM has delivered two potential blind(ish) dates to my Facebook inbox, but not once did I detect any matchmaking where MMBF was involved. M has often spoken highly of MMBF, but I don't think he ever suggested that it was worth pursuing.

I was going to say that it was a pity she didn't at least try, but given what GM told me recently about his most recent girlfriend (personable, stunning and completely high maintenance, the latter being the cause of them splitting up), that's probably not a bad thing.

The mind just boggles.

Oh Jesus .. I heard UF load the washing machine half an hour ago and walk away. I had assumed that he was just prepping for tomorrow morning, and would switch it on as he left for work. That's the sensible thing, right?

But, oh no. He's literally just went back into the utility room and started the cycle... What the absolute fuck is this dickhead playing at? He's had ALL night to stick a wash on, but leaves it until practically midnight. It'll be near 2AM by the time the cycle finishes.

Buses.

I think it took a nudge from CH (who I had met for lunch this afternoon), but GB messaged me today and said that she'd been talking to the Mutual Facebook Friend regarding CB. It then transpired that our mutual friend was going to contact CB's sister to see what plan of action they could come up with. I'm at a slight loss here, because the remit with GB was information gathering, but part of me is quite pleased that something might be engineered sooner rather than later. Or rather, things could be decided one way or another sooner rather than later.

I also decided to tell KfW2 the story, and she got all excited, but I'm trying to play it cool and distance myself from it all until something happens.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, MM contacted me via Facebook and asked if I would go on a date with a friend of hers who needs to get back in the game. Well, not a date per se, but a spot of socialising with a single friend of hers (just the two of us I assume). I'm tempted to be fair - it should be fun plus I get my own practice in, just in case. I discussed it with USHW and my plan of attack is to sleep on it, then contact MM tomorrow if I'm still feeling positive about it and confirm that I will do it, but I will try and make MM aware (without saying as much) that I have the CB thing on the horizon and wouldn't mind a spot of practice myself.

*sigh*

GB, CH and I went for coffee this afternoon. GB let slip that she still hadn't had a word with my mutual Facebook friend with CB. CH pricked up her ears at that and asked if there was a woman involved. I didn't really want too many other people to know right now, after all, this is all hinging on a chain of conversations and a positive outcome. The only people who know the full story so far are USHW, GB , GM and QC2. KfW2 knows that CB and I have a mutual Facebook friend, but not who it is. So I kinda wanted this kept quiet until there was definite movement on it whereupon CB and KfW2 would have been the first two people I would have told.

Anyway, we told CH the rough story - there aren't a lot of details to give - it is pretty straightforward, but as we only had 15 minutes, we quickly moved onto other topics of conversation, though GB promised to go straight back to her desk and start the conversation.

I half expected CH to text me later and demand further information, but she was silent on that score, even though she was very interested in potential lady friends the last time we were out. She's only back to work after a prolonged absence, so she'll probably demand answered to questions once she gets settled and back into a routine again. Or whenever we're out on our next monthly night out which is a few weeks away.

Six degrees.

There are a few reasons why I haven't outed myself on the blog  (or at least been less coy about giving out more identifying information) and why friends, acquaintances etc. are mentioned by names I've given them here rather than their real names. The biggest one is, unsurprisingly, privacy. I've always been extremely private and while I've been very frank in some of my posts here, most of the stuff I kick around is stuff I don't feel I can talk about elsewhere. There's also the fact that I come from a community where everyone knows everyone else - to a degree.

That's already been highlighted recently with the CB thing, but there are plenty more examples. K's friend from her home town has an older brother who played sport with M. Bear in mind that there are hundreds of miles between K's home town and where I live. The wife of a guy I went to school with is close friends with friends of mine from childhood. MF once dated another childhood friend of mine (she was from a completely different town). CAB had (unbeknownst to me) dated a guy I knew from school (CAB herself had gone to a different school and lived in a different town). That's only five quick examples that I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure if I sat down and thought about it (or went through my Facebook friends list) that I could come up with plenty more examples.

But it's CAB that brings me on to the topic of the small community (or, more accurately six degrees of separation). I was having a conversation last night with USHW and CAB got mentioned and off the back of that, I went and did a little Facebook investigating. During my Facebook search, I found at least four people whose face I can remember from my time doing the online dating a few years ago. I'm actually surprised I didn't find more people I knew on the online dating thing, though I do seem to recall that E3 had a profile.

Nothing else really to say... it's something that struck me last night and it's been running around my head all day, so I thought I'd get it out there and hope that I haven't posted on the exact same subject before. I am getting deja vu about it, to be fair.

Out of the blue.

Years ago, shortly after I met E for the first time, she admitted to us that she had a younger sister. Ordinarily, this is not a big piece of information to share, but when she also mentioned that her sister was a dancer, a model and has performed really well in some high-profile modelling events, well, the blokes around the table suddenly started paying attention.

E looked each bloke in the eye and said in no uncertain terms that if we ever met her sister and any of us tried anything untoward, that we'd lose the use of our testicles. It was said in jest, but I got the impression at the time that E was fiercely protective of her little sister.

By accident or design, I'm not entirely sure which, it took years for me to get to meet E's little sister. In fact, I think I met all of E's siblings on the same night - one of E's birthdays. But it was only during one of E's last trips home that I was able to sit down and chat properly with E's little sister.

I don't know what it is - maybe I have an honest face or something - but I've always found that women seem to open up to me easily - the girl from New Year's Eve and KfW2 are two recent-ish examples. What I wasn't expecting was E's little sister to state, as we were outside having a smoke, that she needed a damned good fuck. Well, she didn't use "fuck", even though I've mentioned before that I don't mind women using it to refer to sex, but she did mention that it had been a while. Normally, I would have been sympathetic, but she then started implying that relationships and meeting people shouldn't be difficult because she was an attractive woman.

I fought the urge to put her in her place - I'm sure being an attractive woman can have its' advantages - but it doesn't mean that relationships and the like are automatically easier, especially when you consider her own taste in men (which is, to use the American vernacular, jocks).

I only mention this now because she appeared on my Facebook news feed last night, doing a bit of modelling/promotions work and looking very nice actually. I'm still too attached to my testicles to even consider making an approach though. (I wouldn't really make an approach... I'm just trying to be funny).

Gah!

So... GB forgot to say anything to the mutual Facebook friend I share with CB. The conversation was done remotely, over IM,  which I am kinda glad about, because I was slightly annoyed and frustrated. I don't think GB's ever seen me be interested in someone before (other than CH, but as far as GB is aware, CH and I are just friends and knows nothing of the vibes I'm getting off her or her tactile nature), so I thought she might have realised that I'm very attracted to this girl.

Suffice to say, GB re-iterated her intention of talking to our mutual friend, but as she's off for a few days, I don't know when this chat is likely to happen. It looks like I'll need to have another reminder next week about it.

My reporting of GB's "failure" to USHW has kicked off a long, rambling discussion about dating, the definition of "chemistry" and semi-related things that has been entertaining and reminiscent of the types of conversation we used to have years ago.

Hmmm.

I did end up going to GM's as planned and we had a good (and late) night chatting about all sorts of things. GB arrived in later and sat with us for an hour or so before she took herself to bed. There's not been any mention of CB so far, and I have kinda made the decision that I will directly ask tomorrow or Tuesday - probably Tuesday because that will give GB an entire week to get some information. I did sorta mention it in passing to GM once GB had gone to bed, but it wasn't said for any specific reason - just a comment in passing.

Last week, I was cautiously optimistic that something might happen more than GB simply getting information, but now I'm veering towards pessimism a bit, for no real reason other than I would have expected simply information to have gotten back to me by now - is she single? Is she looking to meet people? CB is starting to appear more and more frequently in my "People you may know" column in Facebook, making me more impatient.

A general round up of the week.

I had hoped to be going out tonight with M (and possibly his wife too), but text messages sent at the start of the week have gone unanswered as of now.

I guess that's not a bad thing. I have tentative arrangements with GM for tomorrow night off the back of our conversation on Monday night that might find us in the pub, but we'll see. It's in his hands and I'm hoping for some contact tomorrow afternoon.

The night out with QC2 was as enjoyable as ever. I was a little disappointed though. Sometimes I don't say stuff to QC2 that I should (and want to) simply because it never comes up in conversation. The CB thing was something that I wanted to share, but again, the conversation didn't look as if it was going anywhere near it, so I kinda shoehorned it in and beyond a second or so of initial interest, that was it. I was expecting questions, comments, feedback... I got none of these.

She's normally very interested in my love life, so I was surprised at the perceived lack of interest from her on the subject. However, that was only a small blip on what was an excellent and very pleasant few hours spent in QC2's company and admittedly, at the end of the night, she did ask to keep me informed regarding CB.

The CB thing is, well, to be honest, I don't know how the CB thing is. GB volunteered to get some information, but it's all been quiet since then, so I've no idea if she's done anything about it or not (or even if things have progressed beyond just information). I'm feeling somewhat optimistic for some reason though - no news is good news, right? I reckon, though, if I haven't heard anything by the start of next week that I'll have to ask.

More happy talking.

Conversations recently have been proving very fruitful and rewarding. Today, with KfW2, we once again got onto the subject of the 12 week weight training program that a co-worker of ours had done with fantastic results (see this post). KfW2, I think, has been giving it serious consideration, despite the rather hefty price tag associated with it. I've said before that she used to be quite the gym addict.

I don't think she needs to be that dedicated though. She has admitted herself that it's less losing weight for her, and more about toning the flabby bits. I would agree. She's tall and regardless of what weight she actually is, I think she carries it well. It would seem that we both have a similar attitude in that it's not about what we see when we're on the scales, but rather what we see in the mirror that counts.

While we were on the subject, I mentioned to KfW2 that it wasn't money that would put me off but rather body issues. I've kinda mentioned these before in posts, albeit in a roundabout way, but today I mentioned them outright to KfW2 and even got her to have a feel for herself - because that would cut down on a lot of explanation and questions. When we had a private moment, I answered all her remaining questions about them (well, all the ones she asked anyway) and left it at that.

Maybe the rewarding conversation thing will continue to Thursday when I'm due to meet QC2?

Great success!

I sat down in GM's last night with a beer and we started talking. GM is around a dozen years younger than I am, but we have very similar viewpoints and just connect really. He's also a man that really doesn't judge, which makes him easy to talk to.

By the time GB got back from wherever it was that she was, we had already covered a multitude of topics including online dating, talking to strangers, New Year's Eve, CB (you can kinda see how the conversation flowed here) and when GB came back, we moved onto chemistry, online dating (again) and back onto CB again (at GM's request).

Surprisingly, GB volunteered, by herself, to go off and talk to our mutual Facebook friend and see what information she can get. As well as that, she also did some Facebook stalking to see if we could gain any knowledge. I've been trying to stay away from CB's profile because, well, I'd really like this to come to something and I'm trying to keep myself grounded. I'm still not sure how this will pan out because all this is going to get me is information. I still need to meet the girl.

That sounds kinda sad for a man my age - I'm not a teenager any more, but it's rarely that I get this chemistry for anyone, never mind a girl I've seen a few times on a website and maybe seen in a bar a few times. Recent girls, such as MMBF are cute and (very) sexy, but I've not sat up and paid attention like I did that night.

Last night wasn't just a success because of GB's volunteering though. As mentioned above, GM and I had a chat about making more of an effort, socially. Just chilling with a drink and talking for a couple of hours doesn't have to be done in the pub. We should see each other more, just for chilling.

About time, too!

After my comments on this post, UF finally emptied the bin on New Year's Day. MfW finally called the handyman about fifteen minutes ago after leaving the note on the sideboard in the hallway since he picked it up.

They both owe me several months worth of money for the Sky bill - despite being a fixed figure on the same date every month, I have to chase them up for it.

A bit of a silver lining was talking to MfW about what's going to happen in the summer - we briefly discussed the ongoing lease and UF, who has the potential to make life difficult (and bearing in mind his lack of activity around the house since we moved in, it's not an unreasonable assumption).

Putting plan A into action.

I was chatting with A again today, our conversation continuing from last week. I ran my idea about CB past her (it never hurts to have second opinions) and she seemed positive about it, as long as I was communicating with the mutual acquaintance, not CB directly. We then segued into a conversation in general about meeting partners. It's always been an issue for me. I can talk to as many people as I want but put a girl in front of me that I am really attracted to and I'm an idiot.

It should be less of an issue these days - I'm much, much more confident today than I was ten years ago, and this can be seen just by following me around a bar on a Friday or Saturday night. Before I would go to the bar and back to my mates without saying a word. These days, it's banter and mild flirting with cute girls. While A wasn't saying anything similar, she did agree that as soon as those feelings surface, people just turn into different people. She's now married and settled now but I was fully informed all the way through the courtship that her lover/boyfriend/fiancé/husband was an idiot - in the nicest possible way - he wasn't a jerk.

But, all this aside, I'm hoping that I'm going to be able to chat with GB tonight about the CB idea and the mutual acquaintance, assuming she's in her house as I am passing. To be honest, I'm a bit pessimistic. What can I hope to achieve? At best, I might find out if she's single (which I'm 99.9% sure of anyway) and if she's looking to meet new people (I'm not sure if she is). None of this is getting me closer to meeting her, though, which is the ultimate goal.

Oh, and I can't believe New Year's Eve was only a week ago - it seems so long already.

Another washout.

The night out with G and the other lads hasn't happened yet and is seriously in doubt because G's dad is ill. He's not been in great shape for a while now and G's latest message implied that things weren't great at the moment. That said, he hasn't ruled it out completely,  but I'm left again waiting for a phone call or text message that may or may not come, even though there are plenty of things I can be doing this afternoon/this evening, including helping my sister with her website and visiting GB/GM for that chat regarding CB (though I'm planning on having this chat by Tuesday or Wednesday at the very latest because I want this to move forward).

I could guarantee having the chat tomorrow by talking to GB over IM in work, but I kinda want GM's feedback on it too, so visiting them tomorrow night is my plan. I have an excuse to go up there regardless, so can sit for a chat and ease it into the conversation. I say "ease" but I mean "crowbar".

I'm also planning on making a serious start to my fitness/weight loss plans tomorrow, now that the Xmas socialising is over (even though it was practically a complete washout) bar meeting QC2 later in the week.

Plan A.

Last evening, around tea-time, I had an idea about how I can use my Facebook friendship with a co-worker to see if I can move things along with CB. It didn't sit quite right with me, but then when I was considering calling RB at her place of work to ask her on a date, that didn't sit quite right with me either, but both A and AM persuaded me to do it (and RB admitted that she was hugely impressed cos it took a lot of balls, she said).

So, even though it didn't sit quite right with me, I ran it past USHW who seemed to think that it was a workable plan. It's not the best plan - that would have been actually talking to her on New Year's Eve, but it's the best (and probably only) one I have at my disposal at the moment.

USHW did ask why GB didn't go and say something to CB on New Year's Eve. I did wonder that myself... if the situations were reversed, I think I would have gone and said something on my friend's behalf.

So, to put this plan in motion, I want to run it past GB first. While I am Facebook friends with the co-worker in question, GB is much closer. Depending on the feedback from GB, then either myself or GB will communicate with the co-worker.

I need to figure out what it is I want or how I want to achieve it, more accurately. I know the eventual goal, I think, but how do I get there?

It feels likes a post frenzy!

Tonight's meeting with my cousin has been postponed, thank goodness. I need a rest from boozing, and with G out and about this weekend, this will do me some real good and I can start thinking about starting my fitness programme next week.

Also, somewhat out of the blue, I got an email from A today. We're in contact a few times a year, but I wasn't expecting anything for a while, but I thought the timing was interesting, not least because it was a kick up the arse from A a few years ago that prompted me to call RB and get the date, so for A to be in contact a few days after I see a girl I'd really like to meet brought a bit of a smile to my face. Of course I filled her in on the events of NYE, and we had an email chat about that. Given that I over-indulged with KfW2 and CC last night, having a conversation via email with A was much better than doing work.

As well as reporting all of NYE's shenanigans to A, I've also been talking to USHW about CB, who's been super-helpful. My options are limited and it's frustrating because I know who she is and that we have a kinda mutual acquaintance,  I just have to engineer a meeting and an ice-breaker so I can talk to her, otherwise I just have to hope that I randomly bump into her (again).

Phew! It feels like a posting frenzy here - is that at least one post a day for the past week or so? I can't ever remember having so much to post about before.

Oh dear. Again.

Bearing in mind my previous post about my goals for the year, specifically the losing weight and getting fitter one, I had hoped that with Xmas over, I could start properly, and part of that was to cut down my booze intake.

Sadly (I should use quotes there), my social life has taken a brief surge after the quiet Xmas.

I'm meeting KfW2 and CC tonight for dinner and drinks. I'm meeting my cousin (and hopefully his wife) tomorrow for a few drinks before they go back home and at some point over the weekend I'm probably going to be meeting up with G (and M and FP and possibly MM). Then, this time next week, I'm meeting QC2 for a drink - she somewhat randomly text me on New Year's Day and made the suggestion all by herself. Wow!

So, looks like it'll be next week then!

Goals 2013

Unlike previous years, I have a few things to look forward to instead of just general things and goals. KfW2's wedding is in the summer which is going to involve foreign travel - my first proper holiday in five years. And given the weather in the UK over the past few years, seeing/getting a bit of sun is not going to do me any harm.

I'm still assuming that me and a group of pals are still going to be doing a 10KM run in a few month's time, so that's giving me motivation to get up off my arse and do some exercise... and do it properly. I'm planning on making small adjustments to my diet as well to help shift some weight, but I'm not planning on making huge changes - that's a fast lane to failure/quitting.

I've always made a passing comment about dating, too, but I appreciate that these things are out of my hands. There's also been the issue/concern that it's been years since I last met a girl who I was really attracted to and that was RB. I did ponder MMBF for a while and she is cute/sexy, but I think I thought I should have been interested, but wasn't really. Maybe MM's reluctance to lend a hand added to that or the fact that she thought MMBF was too high maintenance for me or maybe I just wasn't that interested in the first place. Who knows?

However, over the past few months my thoughts towards CH have been less than platonic. I'm comfortable with this - having the feelings is not a crime in itself and it's not like I'm sitting here pining for her. There's also the recent sighting of CB on New Year's Eve that has me excited in a way I haven't been in a long time, even though I have no idea if there's any possibility that it can go any further. I still need to engineer something, but this might not be that difficult now I've voiced an appreciation to MF, GB and GM.

Work-wise, things went well last year and I'm hoping that they will improve this year. There's a high profile project coming up that will probably require some travel for a few weeks and the boss has told me that he's looking to get me involved in that, which I'd love. It would be a challenge, but I'm starting to look for them now.

Happy New Year (I'm kicking myself already).

My concerns about the New Year's Eve arrangements were well-founded. While GB and GM had always intended on having a party, I don't think they communicated this particularly well and as such, no one turned up to their party.

Every cloud has a silver lining though, and we stayed in the pub. While there were only five of us (myself, GB, GM, MF and her new fella) we still managed to have a good time.

GM and I had a long conversation about chatting to women in pubs, about how to approach someone completely out of the blue without an "in". I'd say that I spoke to about half a dozen women last night because there was an "in", an opportunity to say something and break the ice. However, there was a girl there who I really wanted to talk to, but couldn't find the "in" despite trying to come up with something with GM, and that was CB.

I pointed her out to GB and GM and told them that this was the future Mrs Ruuude. I just couldn't think of a way to get to talk to her, and it's been really bugging me this morning. And looking at my phone this morning, it appears that I was telling KfW2 about it as well, so she'll be demanding more details no doubt.

However, another highlight was talking to a really cute 23-year-old girl who ended up having a massive fight with her boyfriend. She kinda reminded me a little bit of Felicia Day, from "A Town Called Eureka". She was chatting away to me and was super tactile (and according to the others, was "all over me") and then, all of a sudden, was telling me all about how the "best boyfriend in the world" had never told her he loved her in the two and a half years that they'd been dating. 

She was virtually in tears at this stage while the boyfriend had taken himself off somewhere. I suggested that they need to chat about that as this was obviously a big deal to her. The last I heard (from MF's new bloke who had been outside for a smoke) was that the boyfriend had taken himself off in a taxi, leaving the cute girl standing in the road... all before midnight. Happy New Year, cute girl. It was suggested by the others around the table that I maybe take advantage of this situation, but I was too preoccupied with trying to figure out a way to talk to CB than to take advantage of an emotionally drained young woman.

I was also chatting away with an attractive brunette who was sitting at the bar with her friend and I engaged in some banter with them - again, it's all about the "in" - if it's there, then talking is easy. I'm just utterly useless if there's nothing to use.

GM ended the night by being pounced on by what initially appeared to be a very cute brunette (think Frankie out of the Saturdays), but a closer look showed that she wasn't as cute as we first thought and about 15 years older. Still... at least one of us got some last night.

And now it's 2013... potentially a big year, but that's a post of its own.