Reminiscing.

Many years ago, a new girl joined our team in work. Cute, brunette, petite.

On a work night out, as we were leaving the restaurant, I motioned her to walk in front of me.

"What a gentleman you are!" she declared.

"Even if I told you that I only did that so I can see if you have a nice ass?"

She laughed over her shoulder and swayed her hips. She did have a nice ass.

We got along well enough, but she moved on to other opportunities a short time later.

Years later, on our first (only) proper date, RB asked if I knew her. It turned out that RB and I used to work for the same company, at the same time, albeit only for a few months before RB went for a career change into, well, recruitment. RB, MF and the girl with the nice ass had all attended college together and started on the same day, but RB and GWTNA had fallen out. It's not surprising. GWTNA was pretty headstrong, as was RB come to think of it. 

In fact, GWTNA and KFW later fell out (over GM), and wrongly in my opinion as GWTNA was dating someone else at the time, but screwing GM on the side. I don't know the exact details of why GWTNA and KFW fell out. I don't think KFW and GM ever hooked up. 

RB never explained why she had stopped being friends with GWTNA, but both of them are, as they say, bonkers.

I'd forgotten all about GWTNA's relationship with RB until she popped up on Facebook today in pictures with her kids and her husband... the guy she cheated on with GM.

More or less "girls, girls, girls"?

I put together a rather substantial post last night regarding my previous post and it got lost when my PC suddenly installed updates without warning. Ho hum.

Off the back of my previous post, I was reminded of a statement I read (probably on the online forum of which I am a member) where someone said (and I paraphrase here):

"If you are good friends with a woman who has single friends and she's never tried to set you up with any of them, then there's something wrong".

While I'm not going to get into whether or not this person is actually right or wrong, it did cause me to think. I've always had a lot of female friends and as far as I can remember I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times one of my female friends actually tried to set me up (and KfW2's recent offer and GB with CB since the turn of the year don't count).

• I got AM a summer job at my place when she was at uni. She met a cute girl there who apparently was quite into me. AM didn't tell me until after their contracts ended, we were on our way home and I never saw her again.
• QC1 made a half-assed attempt to get me to go on a blind date. "She was perfect for me" she said, but yet wouldn't entertain just bringing her out socially. It HAD to be a blind date.
• E had hoped that I'd get it on with her friend R3 and made at least one clumsy effort to get us together. R3 admitted later that, at the same time, she had hoped that E and I would get together because we were natural together, but I don't recall any actual effort when I was present. Neither happened.
• KfW once tried to get me to get off with her friend when we were in the bar. Her friend was having the same conversation with me when KfW was at the bar.
• DSC did ask CF if she'd fuck me one night we were all out and CF was horny. Sadly, she didn't want to.

And, well, that's it. Five times over the course of twenty odd years of being seriously interested in girls. I don't know if I should be disappointed or if there were more discussions that went on behind the scenes that I am unaware of. Given that I haven't ever scored with a friend of a female friend (RB doesn't count as I only knew MF long after RB had gone away), I'm probably going to assume that these conversations never happened.

Go me (update 2)

Meeting cancelled today... rescheduled for tomorrow. Probably.

However, having talked to my boss, I am less optimistic. What he was saying to me was not what KfW was saying to me and her advice matched the course of action I had already decided upon.

We'll just have to see what happens tomorrow.

Unexpected.

I was out with S and a few other mates last night. We headed to a few bars and ended up in the same one where I had my last night out with CH. Separately, I managed to bump into KfW who was out with some friends of hers and CC and JB who work in the same department and were out on a night out.

I got talking to JB and CC about general stuff, but CC suggested that we go off and do a kind of boot camp kind of thing to get ready for KfW2's wedding. A friend in work has recently done something similar (like a managed/tutored Insanity kind of thing) and lost a lot of weight and got himself ripped, but it did cost him the guts of a thousand pounds.

As I've stated before, while I do want to lose a bit of weight and tone up a bit, getting completely ripped is not something that is a goal, but the idea of doing something with someone for motivational purposes sounds good.

Oh, and CC seemingly took a shine to S. I believe there was number swapping going on and everything and a late night text from KfW2 suggested that CC was quite taken. I'm looking forward to the updates on Monday.

Well, I never!

Hmmm... it's interesting where things take you when you least suspect it. After blogging a few posts recently about stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things - specifically related to KfW2's friend's birthday, the last thing I expected was to go out and sleep with a 26 year old.

This is off the back of a few conversations I'd had elsewhere about body issues (prompted by this post) and self-esteem/confidence.

I got a call last night, late on. Well, not that late, but late enough for me. It was after 10PM and I was just settling in for a night on the sofa and a beer when I got a call from a friend suggesting a few drinks. This was not totally unexpected - we'd made tentative arrangements, but I tend to be quite settled by 10PM and never bother going out once I get into the "settled" mentality. Friday was different - it was a great day here and I had been busy around the house doing bits and pieces so hadn't yet gotten into that settled frame of mind.

I threw on a quick change of clothes and headed out. We had a good night - plenty of chatting and some flirty banter with a few girls - a typical night out with the two guys I was with (S and another guy that the girls find cute - I'll call him GM).

An aside about S and GM - I used to work with them a few years ago. I've known S for a good while now, but GM is someone I've only known for about three years, but he's a good lad. Despite the fact he's ten years younger than me, we do share a lot of things in common, so he's easy to get along with. S is, too, for the most part. We all used to hang around in the same group with KfW and JB, which is how S introduced me to everyone.

We stopped off at a late night greasy spoon for some food and while we were sitting there a reasonably cute, petite, blonde girl came and sat down while her friends got food. For whatever reason, her friends disappeared, leaving her on her own. We didn't figure this out until fifteen minutes later. She claimed she was drunk, but didn't seem it, though was quite flighty and random in her comments. So we sat around the table, chatting and generally having a laugh.

By this point, myself and GM looked to be interested in this girl, but she was definitely making eyes at me. S was, well, I dunno. I dunno if he was interested, but he was IMO, making a dick out of himself. When she went off to make a phone call to see if she could find her friends, GM made a (verbal) tactical withdrawal. We said that we'd stay and make sure she got a taxi whereupon she invited us all to a party, having made contact with her friend.

GM declined and shepherded S away (he was still being dickish, but I think it was drunken dickish rather than deliberately dickish, if you get my meaning), leaving me and the blonde girl. I don't usually turn up to anything on the basis of a third-party invitation (see recent posts about KfW2's friend's birthday), but I knew that MfW2 was having a fuck buddy over for a pre-arranged booty call, so wanted to keep my head down. This is usually where I call things a night - a handy get out clause - but in light of recent conversations, I took the other option, to stay out, to see what happens.

We managed to flag a taxi and get to the party whereupon the girl's friend was being annoying by pretending not to hear the door and refused me entry (despite giving her friend permission to bring all three of us not fifteen minutes previously).

I said that I'd just head home - no harm done - but the blonde girl insisted on making her own way home too as she was pissed at her friend for both abandoning her at the cafe and then being a moron when she showed up.

It turned out that we were both heading roughly in the same way, so we flagged a taxi down with the intent of dropping her off at hers on my way back to mine. It would have been a slight detour. But when we got to hers, she invited me in for a drink, and I accepted. Sometimes I'm clueless about women, but I had noticed the signals and wanted to see how this would pan out.

Suffice to say that the drink didn't last too long before we were sat on her sofa, snogging away. And we weren't doing that too long before things progressed.

As a result, I've had precious little sleep due to a late night finish and an early morning start. I've been spaced out all day and have already potential arrangements with FP tonight for the pub as well that I'm strangely looking forward to, despite the fatigue.

It's unlikely that there will be any further contact with this girl. At 26, I don't think she's relationship material and, well, there is kinda the issue that she thinks I'm eight years younger than I really am.

More work issues.

I did not sleep one second of one minute last night. My recent work issues were still a problem to a certain extent and I simply couldn't stop going over two or three different things in work that were causing me grief.

I've honestly never felt anything like it... my heart was pounding, even reading wasn't any help and I was tossing and turning all night long.

I was up super early this morning and was in work, sorting out as much as I could. I had a quick chat with KfW who suggested I talk to my boss again. It was good advice, so I got a quick word with him when he arrived and we got things sorted again. I was certainly a lot happier after the chat than I was beforehand and was able to get a lot done this afternoon with a little help from some team-mates.

I was, however, fighting sleep all day and I only made it to 5 PM without falling asleep due to large quantities of coffee, Red Bull and other assorted energy drinks. I kept zoning out during the afternoon, I had a splitting headache all day, my eyes were super dry and I kept taking dizzy spells. This was all because of sleep deprivation, I think (though, thinking about it, could have been due to the caffeine). Now I'm home and still trying to stay awake. I need to stay conscious until 10 PM I think so I can get a good night's sleep but not wake up too early.

Roll on the weekend!

More drama.

Well, last night was interesting. Firstly, everyone was out at some stage, including KfW, MfW, JB and others. MfW brought along his ex-girlfriend who he’s been fucking on and off since they split in July. MF was already in the pub and slightly the worse for wear. RB wasn’t in attendance as I’d theorised, but a different friend of MF and KfW. I don’t know if I was more disappointed or relieved by that.

When JB turned up, she looked stunning in a red dress. There's certainly a stirring in the loins recently when she's about, but I will re-iterate my guideline about dalliances with co-workers.

Sadly, JB and a few others left before midnight, but I still had a good time and got rather drunk.

For a New Year’s Eve, the bar itself wasn’t particularly busy which was a shame – it’s a good night to be social in pubs - but this didn’t ruin the night.

MfW continued the soap opera by leaving his ex-girlfriend and disappearing, leaving us to pick up the pieces again, but I was lucky enough to miss most of the drama by deciding to leave. It was a stroke of good fortune as we walked out of the pub and immediately hailed a cab.

I’m going to be a mess all of today though.

The great soap opera

No-one's mentioned anything about tomorrow night, and I don't want to sit in, so I've put the feelers out. It's going to be a pain in the arse because the people I want to spend the time with are notoriously difficult to get a reply out of. It always seems to be me that takes the initiative and I don't mind that, really, but it would be greatly appreciated by me if people could be a little more decisive and reply to contact, even if they just rule themselves out.

Thankfully, MF set the ball rolling by telling us she was going to a bar with some friends of hers. KfW mentioned that she wouldn't mind going to that bar (and she's good friends with MF), so it looks like we're going with MF's suggestion.

So, there are issues... MfW has been paranoid over the past few weeks about people like MF and a few other girls feeding information back to his most recent ex-girlfriend. I don't believe this for one second, at least, I don't believe there's a conspiracy to give this information to the ex-girlfriend. If/when MfW finds out that our plans for tomorrow night are from MF and others, he might well lose his temper.

From a personal point of view, I'm a little apprehensive because I don't know who MF's friends are, but it's not out of the question that RB will be there. That might make the night, well, interesting, but I'm looking forward to this. There are a few people that have not yet said anything and it would be great if they'd come out with us, so it's fingers crossed.

Mild thing, you make... well, perhaps not.

Out last night with people from work including KfW and JB and I had a really, really good night. I was drunk and so did a lot of dancing and the funny thing is, I could have sworn that JB was letting her hair down more than usual - she's usually quite quiet and timid. We did a lot of dancing, some of it I'd classify as being quite close. I had my hands all over her, not in a rude way, and she was throwing herself at me (in dancing terms - she literally did jump on me at once point). For JB this is extremely rare behaviour, and it was good to see her let her hair down. At one stage she was dancing with her back to me and I had my hand on her tummy... I love a woman with a flat, toned tummy and JB has that in spades.

On a side note, MfW asked me if I was planning on making a move on JB because he fancied a shot himself. I told him that I had no interest... I don't. JB is a nice girl, a friend but in terms of something more than that, I can safely say that a) she's the most high maintenance girl I've ever met and b) she doesn't do one night stands (well, beyond a snog).

She's pretty and sexy, but as far as I'm concerned, she's a no-go area.

Knowing me, knowing you... AHA!

One of my new team mates is a stunningly attractive, slim, athletic brunette. Precisely my type. I've admired her from afar since I joined the company, but she's way out of my league. However, getting to know her has been fun and she is good fun. When out with work last night, I happened to mention that she and KfW do not get along, or rather, that I had noticed that they don't get along.

The new team-mate was quite shocked that I knew, suggesting that she'd been deliberately keeping things under wraps regarding her relationship with KfW, but my opinion is that it doesn't matter to me as long as it doesn't hugely influence my relationship with the new team-mate.

I predict that she'll have questions about it next week.

A few interesting coincidences.

I learned a few things on Friday night. The first is that a girl I had my eye on (ish) in work is no longer married - possibly divorced and definitely separated. She's also disappearing off for a bit on a career break. My window of opportunity is almost non-existent, though I do think that she is at least a little interested in me.

The second is that I think KFW is interested in me. Her friend spent a lot of Friday night asking me if I'd date KFW, then when she was leaving, KFW's hug lingered a little more than those she gave to the others. Interesting times.

A thought popped into my head...

Just a quick thought about something KFW said earlier about RB dating a married man. On the night of our one and only date, while lying in bed after RB had pretty much ended any idea of dating with her baggage, RB mentioned something about Facebook stalking "a friend"... a married man and wanted to know if this would be out of order. My reply at the time, if I recall correctly, was something along the lines of "if he's a friend, then there's no harm really", but thinking about it now, it appears that she was referring to the bloke she had been dating and was the source of the baggage she was referring to.

Now I'm off out to the pub!

A coincidence?

While out grabbing a coffee and bacon roll (my usual Friday morning treat) at our local market, when I noticed RB walk in. She would be one of the last people I expected to see on a Friday morning given that she moved to London about six months ago and it's been just over two years since I last saw her, never mind speaking to her. I don't think she saw me, and I did contemplate going over to speak to her, but I bottled it.

There was an emotional response, but I can't honestly tell you what it is. Unlike DSC telling me about bumping into a recent ex of hers, this wasn't dislike or anxiety though, but I can't put my finger on it.

In two separate conversations later on with DSC and KFW, I tried explaining that I was angry with myself for feeling anything when seeing RB... after all, it was only a couple of dates, tops, and some semi-naked fumbling.

KFW talked more about RB as she's met her a few times, as seen in this recent post. Some of the stories were unsettling. KFW was trying to surmise if RB was back in the city for a holiday or more permanently. RB appears to have more than a few issues, though some of RB's so-called issues are not really issues. Dating a married man in my opinion is not a sign of "issues", but something else - a different moral code, perhaps? Not according to KFC though. It was interesting hearing a different point of view about RB, even if it was concerning. KFW did suggest that she didn't think RB was a good match for me, personality-wise. That's hard for me to say because KFW probably knows her better than I do, but apart from showing the odd bit of "interesting" behaviour, she seemed like a perfectly likeable young lady. KFW described her as being moody, bitchy and immature amongst other things.

The DSC conversation was slightly different. I was speaking to DSC more because I was annoyed at myself for having an emotional response rather than anything else. I thought DSC would be more critical, but she was actually supportive and suggested that having an emotional response isn't a bad thing. Acting upon it is completely different though. Acting upon it is going to be difficult if she's still living in London though, and I'd be very surprised if she had moved back home permanently, so soon after moving away.

I did mean to ask MF if she knew if RB was home this weekend, but I never got the chance to speak to her, sadly. I think RB might be home for a local sporting event, but I'm not 100% sure. I'll maybe ask MF next week if she was home, though for what purpose, I've no idea. Satisfying my own curiosity, really.

An interesting conversation.

Sitting in the pub with a group of work colleagues a few nights ago led to a conversation about age. We were "age spotting" various people around the bar and that prompted me to remember my first encounter with RB where she claimed to be a certain age. Out of interest, I asked a friend what age RB was, to confirm my own theory. My friend confirmed that she was the same age as I'd guessed, but this then prompted a whole discussion on RB for some reason. I knew she was a bit eccentric, but from the stories I heard, the fact she went AWOL probably worked in my favour. Some of the stories were a little concerning as they painted RB not as an eccentric, but as somewhat of a self-destructive personality and she was very difficult when drunk (though I saw glimpses of this myself). She was still very cute and I'd loved to have seen where things went.

Plans scuppered!

OK, so things pretty much fell apart at the first hurdle. On a completely different topic, I was having a conversation with KFW which turned to dating and, once again, I mentioned that RB was the last time I met a girl where there was instant and two-way chemistry and attraction. I've already mentioned that RB was a bit mental, but KFW acknowledged that as well. When a woman describes another woman of being a little bit nuts, then you know she's full on bonkers. However, that's neither here nor there as RB is not being considered for dating, but for something else. KFW soon put paid to that by telling me that she thinks RB is now in London. Living and working permanently, I assume. Bugger.

Getting circular.

I spent a lot of today chatting to JB in work. I'm trying to get her to come out of her shell a bit more. She's a lovely, good-looking girl that's not shy, but she is quiet and some of her ideas about dating are, well, dated in my opinion. She won't approach men, she doesn't sleep around (in fact, I don't think she has sex outside of a relationship) and any time she's interested in a man, she expects them to be mind readers. I think, she knows all this, but as I know, it's hard to change who you are.

Anyway, that's by the by, as we were on subject of dating friends of friends which brought RB up again. JB doesn't know any of the details... in fact the only two people in work that do know any details are the mutual friend and another girl whom I'll call KFW. Actually, MF probably knows the details as she and RB are close friends. I've mentioned a few things to KFW, but not a lot really.

The point I'm trying to make really is that RB came up again in conversation and I still wished things had turned out better. It's nearly two years since we met, I've since met, dated and slept with other women, so why is RB and/or the lack of anything developing with her still a big deal to me? I'm actually angry at myself for this and I want to know why.

A blast from the semi-past

OK, so it's hardly years and years ago, but the RB thing was just over a year ago. Why bring this up now? Well, sitting in the pub on Friday night, this girl from this post (MF), all of a sudden turns to me and tells me that RB is home. RB had taken herself off on a round the world trip earlier this year and, due to circumstances beyond her control, has been forced to come home early. It's still very early days. RB may yet leave again to complete the trip, according to this mutual acquaintance, but it hasn't stopped me having the odd little daydream about it.. about, well hooking up with her again.

Saying that, another work colleague who was out with us on Friday (KFW) made a mention of RB being a bit odd. I wanted to know more, but didn't want to ask any questions that might indicate that I am still interested.

I don't know if I am interested or not, obviously. I'd have to actually meet RB and see what happened, but I certainly wouldn't rule out meeting her. Right now, I wouldn't rule out the possibility. I seem to be friendly enough with the mutual acquaintance, so seeing RB in the pub is fairly likely, should she remain at home for any reasonable length of time.

I don't know if I'm angry at myself or not for even considering it. After all, RB was a bit nuts and her behaviour after our date left a lot to be desired, but she was interesting and cute and it's not as if I've been inundated with decent offers from that bloody dating website. It's not dating I'm after, though, with RB. Just something casual.