Plans.

As expected/predicted, an email came out about a work Halloween party. It's been years since I was last at one, but our regular monthly thing is less frequent now and I could do with a night out.

I asked who was going in my work chat with Stalky Guy and Quiet Girl.

"I'll go," said Quiet Girl, "but I'm not dressing up."

I knew this. QG is definitely not the "dressing up" sort, and I'm glad cos that means she'll be wearing her usual attire: jeans and a t-shirt and I get to surreptitiously admire her ass.

So that's three definite social engagements in the diary: I'm meeting Nerdy Girl on Friday for drinks, it's just over a week until I head out with D, FBS etc. and then just over two weeks until this work thing with QG.

Still outstanding: a night out with AM (and QC1 etc.) and a rescheduled night out with KfW2, but that's unlikely to be for at least 5 weeks. Oh, and a potential meet up with M.

Tea for two.

CC's just messaged asking if I wanted to go for dinner tonight. I've already eaten, so the answer was "no", but I suggested we do breakfast tomorrow. I say "breakfast" but by the time CC gets her ass out of bed, it'll be nearly lunchtime, so it's brunch.

But the initial question about dinner reminded me of a conversation with QC2 where she asked me why I never met her for dinner, only drinks. Women meet for casual dinner, men do drinks, she explained. I didn't have an answer for her. I thought casual meet ups for friends meant something cheap like drinks whereas dinner was more expensive. She never pushed it, as far as I can recall. If she'd suggested we do dinner the next time instead of drinks, I'd have gladly gone with it.

I'm struggling to recall if I did dinner with platonic friends until I met KfW2. I know that I did lunches with plenty of people: FA1, AM, QC1 and others, but dinner was something I simply never considered. I think it was more the dinner aspect. I wasn't a fan of eating out when I was younger, so dinner as a social activity just wasn't on my radar.

So, yeah, interesting random thought. 

Promises, promises.

As a result of the family stuff over the past few weeks, I've been speaking to quite a few people. The two that are of specific interest to this post, are AM and Mrs FC. Both have promised that we'll see each other soon. A night out will be arranged, they promised.

AM made a similar promise a few years ago and that never panned out. I've posted over the past few months about the long-silent WhatsApp chat. She can talk a good game, I'll give her that.

I have more faith in Mrs FC coming through, but still not massively.

And I wonder if the guilt aspect has anything to do with it. I have prompted The Crowd to meet up over the past few months and gotten no traction. There was the night out with AM that I posted about that took far too much work to arrange. But then AM was complaining about trying to arrange nights out and getting no reply. I spent 20 years doing that before I took a back seat. And even now, AM has to get her own way when we do arrange something.

But let's see? I'll try and be positive, but history suggests otherwise.

Dance the night away

I've booked my tickets for the gig at Xmas, with my favourite band at CB Pub. My sister and brother-in-law are going, too. While no-one else has said anything, I'd be very surprised if there weren't others there - AM, QC1 in all likelihood. I suspect M could show his face if I told him about it.

There's an outside chance that Quiet Girl might show up too if I let her know. She seemed to be quite impressed by the band at the end of June .

Even if no-one else shows up, I'm already looking forward to it. 

Wind down.

I only left the house to go to the cinema, so it's not like I can claim that I've done hours of chores, but that little thing alone has made me feel like I've accomplished something today.

And that's the last thing, socially, that I have on my radar for the foreseeable future. July was decent: work event, out with AM, out with G, a week off work, dog-sitting and a gig with AM and Quiet Girl (technically June, but it kinda fits this time period to count it as July).

KfW2 was in contact late on Friday night, claiming that she's on a detox, having been drunk for the past three weeks while she was on holiday. So that potentially means that her offer to take me out won't be any time soon, which is disappointing.

And it was.

It was a decent night, last night. QC1 didn't show up, but she had been in contact with AM outside of the WhatsApp group.

I arrived on-time, got a beer and found some seats. Twenty minutes later, Mr AM walked in. 

"We're in the other bar"

CB Pub has like three different bars, and AM favours the one with no atmosphere, no natural light, is quite dark and is, IMO, very... oppressive?

So, yeah, they arrive later, instantly go to that bar then come looking for me. I don't think I blogged about it, but I was pretty sure this was going to happen.

Regardless, minor frustration aside, it was a decent night, catching up with AM and Mr AM. Another couple arrived  - the couple who said they were clearing out their kitchen.

But it's not something I'm inclined to do again soon.

We did talk about the useless WhatsApp group. I did say to AM that I was considering leaving it, which she was surprised about. My complaint about people not having the decency to reply to a question fell on deaf ears even though AM herself has been vocal about arranging things. The QC1 thing is a case in point. If I were relying on the WhatsApp chat, I could easily have been doing something else last evening.

"I was never not coming out," said AM.

"You suggested rescheduling in the group on Tuesday!"

"Yeah, but..." AM trailed off. 

I did try and catch the eye of an attractive blonde woman who was with a couple of friends, but AM's choice of bar was against me - not only is it dark and oppressive - it's not really a bar for mingling in the way the other bars would be.

She was really cute, though, in an Elizabeth Banks kinda way. 

Here we go?

I'm looking forward to seeing AM and Mr AM tonight. To the best of my knowledge, no-one else is showing up. At least, no-one's said anything in the group chat. It really wouldn't surprise me if QC1 and her husband showed up. That's typical of QC1. She'd only have said anything if she were unhappy with the arrangements.

the girl who started the WhatsApp chat has claimed that she's clearing her kitchen in anticipation of getting work done soon, so she can't attend. Guess who else has been cleaning and clearing their kitchen in anticipation of getting work done within the next few weeks? Yep, me. And yet I'm still organised enough to attend. After all, this isn't a last-minute thing. The date has been out there since the start of the month.  Anyone not replying to say they can/can't make it is just plain fucking rude.

Plans.

Remember a few weeks ago, I stated in this post that I had tentative plans in place with AM and her husband to do dinner and drinks? Well, a few days after that, AM posted in the Quiet WhatsApp Group about it. I was the only person to reply. It's now two weeks after that again, and the tentative date mentioned is this coming Saturday.

I skipped the Quiet Group and messaged AM directly: are we still doing Saturday?

No reply as yet.

Regardless of what happens on Saturday, I'm leaving the group on Sunday. What's the fucking point when people don't even have the decency to reply to a message/question about meeting up? It's not even me being ignored, but I'm still angry at their uselessness.

(As an aside, I fully expect QC1 to be in touch with AM directly and if we do go out on Saturday, I expect QC1 and her husband to show up.)

Things to do.

AM sent a message into the previously-quiet WhatsApp chat. It effectively said the same thing that we'd agreed on a few weeks back: dinner and drinks at a restaurant I'd suggested. I've said that I'm available but no-one else has said anything so far.

That makes a busy enough month: brunch with CC yesterday, I'm assuming drinks with G next weekend and dinner with AM (and others) the weekend after that. On top of that, there are two work-related things potentially happening before the wend of the month: dinner and drinks with some current and ex-colleagues plus our annual work summer party at the end of the month with Quiet Girl, Stalky Guy and others.

Lots of socialising this month. It must be my busiest month, socially, in ages.

Let's dance!

I think yesterday's gig could be regarded as being A Great Success. For starters, Quiet Girl loved the band. She's not someone who's usually outwardly enthusiastic, but she was very positive about the band. On the other hand, I have mixed feelings about Mr Quiet Girl - he was very drunk. He didn't get very drunk but rather he seemed to be very drunk from his arrival, which wasn't a great look if you ask me. Additionally, he disappeared randomly and probably missed half the gig, though QG said he would likely do that.

Additionally, and as a complete surprise, AM and her family turned up.

Once I'd arrived and secured seats, I took a quick snapshot of the band finishing off their soundcheck. I posted it in the silent WhatsApp chat (remember that?) and captioned it with "I'm here, are you close?"

It was a sarcastic post as no-one had arranged anything except Mr AM posting about the gig.

Mr AM replied a few minutes later:

"We're on our way!"

I assumed the message was, like mine, sarcasm. So imagine my surprise when, 20 minutes later, AM and her family walked in through the door. I introduced AM to QG and we settled in for the gig.

We also put tentative plans in place for food and drinks towards the end of next month and bemoaned the fact that no-one else ever did any organising.

All-in-all, a great Sunday. 

Chat Watch (con't)

After last night's post, I woke this morning to see a few notification in the chat. Apparently the chat creator forgot all about it. AM's husband and QC1 have both posted, but no-one's actually suggested anything.

And also, after last night's post, I think I will have to call the dentist. There's no pain, but there is a noticeable hot/cold reaction when drinking. So I think I'd like to see the dentist quicker than my scheduled appointment. 

Chat Watch

So, it's been like 36 hours since I was added to a chat with AM, QC1 etc. and still no-one's said anything. This is weird, right? This isn't just me?

And in other news, not chat-related, I might have to visit the dentist. I think a bit of tooth or a bit of filling has fallen off. There's no pain, but it will need looked at. I do have a scheduled appointment at the end of the month, so if there are no issues, I can hold off until then. if not, then I'll have to see if I can see my dentist before then. 

Let's see...

Digging deeper into the AM group chat has revealed that it wasn't created by AM or her husband but by a mutual friend. Still, no-one's said anything in the chat since I was added. It's all the usual ones: AM, her hubby, QC1, her hubby, a friend of AM's from university and an unknown number.

I'm not going to say anything. I'll just let it play out. AM's only really arranged one thing that I can remember and even then she got all angry and petty because she went to a restaurant where I didn't like the food.

That annoyed me, because I'd spent years making arrangements only for her to cry off at the last minute or demand adjustments to pre-arranged plans.

So, yeah, I'm being passive on this one. Again.

Ooooooh.

I'm in the middle of a work call, so I can't really check my phone, but I've just had a notification from WhatsApp that I've been added to a group by AM's husband. It's only taken, what, two years since AM promised to "do something soon".

Memory Lane Again.

There was an announcement on Facebook about a band playing a local venue near the end of the year. It's a band that I was a huge fan of back in the day, so my interest was piqued. I wasn't even sure they were still active, never mind touring.

I think I've posted about them before in a post about AM and her university friend, Music Friend.

I think I'll probably go to the gig. Part of me wonders if Music Friend will attend, but as she's married with kids and lives out of town, I really doubt it. 

Let's go round again.

I slept really well last night. Weirdly, I woke this morning thinking about CAB. I don't know if there was a dream involved or not - I don't recall a dream. But the memory involved me talking to CAB. This would have been after I broke things off with her.

I was at a bar. The bar where I met R2. Actually, the same bar where I met CAB. I spent a lot of time there in my early 20s with AM, QC1 etc. Anyway, at the end of the evening as we were leaving to get a taxi home, I bumped into CAB. She started talking so I waved the others on. She wanted to get back together.

I can't remember the details of the conversation. I can't remember her argument for getting back together nor can I recall if I vocalised my reasons for not getting back together. My reasons for not getting back together were the same as my reasons for breaking up: she was due to move away to go to university, I wasn't interested in/considering long-distance, so I didn't see the point in continuing to date.

And I know that I definitely didn't share my ongoing frustrations about us not having sex. It was part of the reason I called things off, but not the main reason, which I explained above. I doubt it would have been a surprise to her, though.

But, yeah, that was the memory I woke to this morning. 

Here we go again.

AM posted on my New Year's post on Facebook. Unsurprisingly, it's the same old "we really must meet up soon". She won't, though, make any effort. I'm still waiting for the meet up she promised at FP's funeral, over two years ago.

Party mood.

A series of memories popped into my head a few minutes ago. I think I've posted about one of them before: AM invited FBS to our New Year's Eve gathering at a party two hours away. But it wasn't just that one evening that popped into my head, there were many times where BW and I had gone to visit AM and QC1 at their student house and ended up having a great time. 

I recall sharing cigarettes and conversation with QC1 in the stairwell of the local student's union, parties in AM's flat and a few dalliances with friends of AM and QC1, even though I had the largest crush on QC1. 

I presume these memories all popped into my head because of the specific night FBS came with us, which was a New Year's Eve, probably around this time. We'd have been on the bus on the way there. 

Good times. 

Well then.

I had a dream last night about a night that actually happened. I might have already blogged about it, but I wanted to type this up before the details fade away.

I was out at a pub, with BW plus AM, QC1 and their respective partners. An old flame of BW's was out as well. We were out to see the band I posted about over the weekend, at the bar where I met R2.

But the main memories of the night were that I spent most of the night dancing away with a friend of BW's ex-girlfriend. From memory, she was an attractive brunette woman with a great figure. In the dream, it was TV weather forecaster Lucy Verasamy.

Ultimately, just like real life, nothing came of it beyond a quick kiss and lots of knowing looks from AM and QC1. 

But now that I think back, my vague memory of the woman in question, I do get Lucy Verasamy vibes off of her. Is that the influence of the dream of did they have similar vibes from a physical perspective?

Oh, hi there!

A little over 16 months ago, AM promised to arrange a night out with a group of friends that included QC1 and another of her university friends. Why the third woman needed to be present is a mystery because she doesn't live anywhere near close and only comes home a few times per year.

Suffice to say, I've not heard anything from AM since then.

Imagine my surprise when the third woman posted on Facebook that she was out for lunch with AM and QC1 (and possibly all significant others).

It still saddens me that my contact, and relationship, with AM just effectively ceased once I stopped making the effort.