Walking softly.

I was planning on going carpet shopping today. I pretty much know what I want, but I want to go down to the local carpet shop and see a few samples for myself. I'll also need to arrange a measurement and get an estimate for materials and fitting. I've measured it myself, so I have a ballpark idea of what I need, but in this instance, for stairs and landing, I'd like a proper second opinion.

But despite the fact that I have been sleeping really well over the past week or so, motivation is proving to be a big issue. Part of that is the weather: it's very showery today. That reduces my inclination to leave the house.

It's meant to be nicer tomorrow, so I'll maybe just do that instead. Make a morning of it: get out early, do what I need to do and then hit up a local cafe for coffee and perhaps even a late breakfast. I like the sound of that.

Shhhhh!

I did end up taking today off work, but I've not yet start the stuff I want to do. A builder has turned up to finish off the work that was started a few weeks back and he's creating a hell of a noise, so me being on the phone trying to sort stuff out isn't happening. 

I'm useless on the phone at the best of times, so having this distraction is something I could do without. Hopefully though the guy will be finished before lunch and I will have the afternoon to get the three or four phone calls (and other things) completed.

Who are you?

I didn't get the stuff done today that I was planning yesterday, but it wasn't due to laziness. Rather, I got sidetracked into doing some house stuff like prepping the garden for winter:, packing up the garden furniture, mowing and trimming the lawn etc.

It actually makes sense that I do the other stuff tomorrow because I might have to make some phone calls. The downside is that I might have to take tomorrow off, if I want to get everything done, because they're not the kind of tasks I can do in 5 mins if I get some quite time while working.

I did sleep well last night and woke refreshed this morning. I do recall a dream, or at least a bit of a dream that featured CAB. In the dream I was at a party, possibly at KfW2's house, and she introduced to me a friend. When I looked up, her friend was standing with his "plus one" who was CAB who, for some reason, didn't recognise me.

I don't remember a lot more about the dream than that, but it provoked a smile when I recalled it when I woke. And a little nostalgia about CAB, of course. 

Weird.

I'd say that 90% of the work is now done. And that's all of the work internal to the house. Some bits and pieces to finish off outside, and that'll be this stage of the work done.

For some reason when the last guy left the house about an hour ago, the stress just left. I don't know why. I didn't feel that stressed. I mean, yes, I was stressed (I have posted as much about it this week), but I thought only a little. 

And horny too. Is that weird? Is there a link between stress and horniness? Literally, the second the guy drove off, the stress left and I got horny as hell.

There's still work for me to do: the entire house needs cleaned, vacuumed and mopped. While it wasn't as messy as I'd expected, there's still a fair amount of dust and rubbish generated. I also need to move some furniture around to compensate for my lack of usable space in the kitchen. But I can't be bothered with that right now. Those are jobs for tomorrow and the weekend.

And another thing...

Going back to the post I made yesterday about the anxiety kicking in with regards the home improvements. It's more than simply not being able to deal with people, but something akin to decision paralysis as well. I see the work that needs done, but I can't get my head around where I should start. It's why I've always wanted someone to oversee the entire project (for a fee). Yes, it might cost me an extra couple of thousand pounds, but the work would have been done long ago if that were the case. Managing it myself is where the delays come in as I procrastinate due to the anxiety/stress that it all causes me.

Additionally, I rely on my sister and brother-in-law for advice, for two reasons. Firstly, my brother-in-law is kinda in the construction industry and secondly, they've had LOADS of building and renovation work done to multiple properties, so I go to get feedback and bounce ideas off them. But as I've said before, they're massively inconsistent. Advice they might give me today would not be the same advice they give me at the weekend. That breeds doubt. Doubt breeds stress and anxiety.

And while it might seem minor to other people, I'm really proud of myself that I've started this work that could take until next summer to be complete.

Just do it.

Today, I've been swapping text messages with USHW, and as part of that, I've been sharing my plans for the house and the work involved. And, I'm not going to lie, it's made me anxious. I think it's the scope of things that need done and especially the number of people I need to talk to in order to get the work done. Until now, it's all be compartmentalised: plan stage 1, do stage 1, plan stage 2, do stage 2 etc. but chatting with USHW has reminded me of the scope and it's something I'm not really cut out to deal with on my own.

That's always been an issue for me. I'm just not great at dealing with people... strangers... especially in real life. I worry about getting out someone who will do shoddy work, for example. Or get someone who's difficult to deal with. And I know it's all worrying about something that will likely not happen.

I know what I want to do. I'd say that the actual planning is 90% done. The remaining 10% is picking out a new kitchen and fine tuning some bits and pieces off the back of that. But I kinda know what kind of kitchen I want, what colours I'm interested in, the layout, where the various appliances are going to go etc.

I just need to put on my big boy pants and do some fucking adulting. 

Research.

It's been a couple of days of research. I'm off work due to the house stuff that I'm getting done this week. As a result of that, I need to look at outdoor storage: sheds and the like. 

Additionally, I'm also seeing where I can go with KfW2 in a few weeks time. She typically doesn't make any decisions. In fact, the last time I recall her making a decision was when she took me out for a milestone birthday celebration. That's possibly the only time in the past decade. I can't recall any other time she's made a decision.

I'm having a hard time finding restaurants that I've not tried before or would like to try again. I still have a few weeks to ponder this, though. 

Tidy.

It's maybe a bit early to say, as the work's only maybe 25% done, but the guy doing some of the work has just left the house and I have to say that I am really regretting not getting this work done years ago. It was never about the cost... I've been able to afford it for years, but I had always assumed that it would be dirty, disruptive work.

And it hasn't been... not really. I've had to do some dusting and vacuuming, but like 10 minutes worth. And there's no other work left to do. No plastering or anything. I don't know why I made that assumption, but it was there, and that's what was stopping me from pulling the plug a while ago.

Sigh. 

FFS.

Those who are regular readers or those who know me IRL will realise that I'm often quite frustrated by two things: poor communication and a lack of consistency.

So, I've had all those things this week. My sister was meant to be in touch on Tuesday, and wasn't. I asked my brother-in-law for a favour today, texted him to confirm (I'd taken some time off work for it) and he replied saying that he'd injured his back and was immobile and had been for days. And today, I received a text message about some work I'm getting done to my house, explaining that I needed to pay the builders directly... this was completely opposite advice to what I'd gotten last week saying I could pay the company who would pay the workmen.

So, yeah, pretty pissed off that I had to chase up my sister (she is completely useless at proper communications, and it always feels like I'm chasing her up). I'm  mildly annoyed at my brother-in-law for not letting me know earlier that he was out of action for the favour I asked. And I am very annoyed at the company I've contracted to do the work to the house because I had to run to the bank at the last minute on a Friday afternoon to withdraw several thousands of pounds in cash so I can pay the builders on Monday. Oh, and the stress of walking around the city centre with this amount of cash on me, too.

I was kinda lucky |I wasn't working this afternoon, otherwise getting the cash might have been tricky.

Woohoo!

I finally got an install date for the work that I want to get done to the house. It was, in theory, meant to have been done by now, but it was always a rough kind of estimate "ten to twelve weeks". Twelve weeks from the order date was last week, so it's only a few weeks later than I'd hoped and a couple, of weeks before I needed the work done by.

I need to kick my ass into shape. I have three things I need to do now. One is buy a shed, the second is some building work and the last is a new kitchen.

The shed is important. I've got stuff in the house that needs to be stored elsewhere, so I do need the storage the shed would give. Once I've gotten the shed and moved all the stuff out of the house, then I can think about the other pieces. 

Grrr...

Adulting fucking sucks. I'm dealing with more family stuff - financial this time. And it always feels like there's more trouble than it worth. Like I can't just pick up a phone or send an email and get it sorted. There's paper work, applications... stuff that just rears its head for seemingly no reason.

And I think that's bleeding into some stuff that I want to do for me, to the house, and up until now I've been quite excited about getting the work done despite the fact it's going to decimate my savings, but now I'm suddenly anxious about it.

Sigh. 

Chores.

I was going to cut the grass today - I've not touched it in about a month, and the weather forecast suggested it would be dry. but the weather forecast is wrong. It's been raining all morning, so that's scuppered that plan.

I also had a chore that I wanted to do in the city centre, but there's a massive festival going on, and it's going to be really crowded. I might wait until Monday morning, take some time off work and get it done then. It does need done though, so I can't hang about.

Cooking up a storm.

Years ago, in the early stages of dating FA2, she decided to move house. That prompted two things: firstly, an unspoken agreement that we had to "christen" every room in her house and secondly, and most obvious, that she needed to do a clear out and pack.

As part of the clear out piece, we were doing her kitchen and I marvelled at how much foodstuff in her cupboards was out of date - mainly cooking ingredients like spices etc. I'm pretty sure I scoffed at her for having things that were ten years old in her cupboard.

Well, luckily no-one was around when I binned off a lot of stuff earlier today. Like FA2, a lot of spices etc. but also a lot of dried foods: rice, lentils etc. and cooking kits.

Hopefully, though, once the next few phases of house upgrades are complete, I'll have a better kitchen that will allow me to do more cooking. I do enjoy cooking, I just don't have the space currently to get into it properly.

And, yes, we did christen every single room in her house... many times over as it turned out. 

Here we go?

I'm looking forward to seeing AM and Mr AM tonight. To the best of my knowledge, no-one else is showing up. At least, no-one's said anything in the group chat. It really wouldn't surprise me if QC1 and her husband showed up. That's typical of QC1. She'd only have said anything if she were unhappy with the arrangements.

the girl who started the WhatsApp chat has claimed that she's clearing her kitchen in anticipation of getting work done soon, so she can't attend. Guess who else has been cleaning and clearing their kitchen in anticipation of getting work done within the next few weeks? Yep, me. And yet I'm still organised enough to attend. After all, this isn't a last-minute thing. The date has been out there since the start of the month.  Anyone not replying to say they can/can't make it is just plain fucking rude.

Sun's out!

I'm due to take some time off, ten days, in fact, and I'm looking forward to the break. I have some stuff to do about the house to prepare for the big work that's happening at the start of next month, and there's some stuff in the garden that I'd like to do. And that's handy because the weather for the next week is meant to be very good.

That means pleasant time in the garden, beers, books and music. And a very pleasant way to spend my time off instead of sat in front of a computer, like I normally do.

Ooof.

I've been feeling very overwhelmed today. There's a lot of stuff going on and I'm useless at adulting. I'm semi-regretting agreeing to do KfW2 a favour, though this is about me and other things I have going on, nothing to do with KfW2 herself.

The house stuff is already stressing me out and it's not due to happen until around the start of August. There are a few unknown factors in there, and that stresses me out. The family stuff has been ongoing for a couple of weeks and show no signs of ending in the near future. I've a phone call scheduled for Friday around the family stuff and it's stressing me out. I'm useless at phone calls. I prefer to do things over email or instant chat where I have a record of things or things written down.

But for some reason, it all hit me today and that resulted in me being overwhelmed.

Eeeeeek!

So I got the guy out to finalise the plans for the house work and I've paid a deposit and I'm scared. It's a lot of money. But it's work that needs done and it'll add value to the house (not that I am looking to sell) and it'll make a world of difference when the dark and cold nights come this winter.

And once that's done, I'll need to turn my attention to the kitchen, which is another expensive job. Sigh. but, again, having a new, bigger kitchen will make life an awful lot better. 

Let's go!

The guy got back to me with an all-in-one quote for the work I wanted to get done and it's right on the limit of my completely arbitrary price point. I said I'd call him back in 24 hours, which has already passed but I have been super busy with work. I am going to call him and tell him to progress with my order when I get ten minutes to myself.

The work won't get done until next the end of the summer, but I'm OK with that - as long as it's done before the nights draw in and it gets colder. And that shouldn't be a problem as long as I do call the guy before the end of the week.

Cautiously optimistic.

So the guy came out yesterday and took some measurements for the work I want done. I'm clueless when it comes to even guessing what this type of thing costs, but I had a random number in my head. I was chatting to G about it on Saturday. The number is my "I can definitely afford this" number. Any more than that and I would have to put some thought into maybe tailoring the work - getting less done or something. However, randomly, in a general conversation, the guy mentioned my number when chatting about something else.

"Oh, your work will be less than that," he was quick to clarify.

But he couldn't give me the quote there and then. He had a couple of things to do first, but he'd call me back.

Well... he did this morning. However I don't have the final price. He's given me the quote for the things I want done, but I also require some building work that he can't give me a figure for. If this extra work adds another 20%, then I'll be more than happy. That'll still be under my number and affordable.

I've got an email out there for another quote, but the base price from yesterday's guy seems fine to me, the materials are good quality (I did some online research) and both CC and S have used this company before, so I have confidence in the quality. 

The work won't be done until the end of the summer, which is disappointing, but the important bit is that it's done before the winter sets in. 

Let's go!

Yesterday I sent off my first request for a quote for a big piece of work for the house. It's something I've tried, on and off, to get done for about 5 years. I've pivoted slightly this time. Instead of repairs, I'm just going for full replacement.

I got an email back, quite quickly, saying they'd call to arrange a date and time. Just waiting for that call to come in. 

Once I get that sorted, I'll see if I can get a second or third quote. But, much like the heating upgrade I got done before Xmas, if the first quote comes in around a figure I have in my head, I'm likely to just go ahead with it.