The thing is, I'm perhaps just a little too principled. When it comes to certain things, I have very defined and strong opinions. As mentioned yesterday, I put a lot of faith in people making decisions based on clear logic. I also put a lot of faith in people doing what they say. I've been told, in the past, that I'd make a great people manager because of these opinions and ideas, but that's not something I'd ever want to explore.
When that doesn't happen and they don't want to listen to me, that really fucks with my head. Literally. Sometimes I think something's not wired properly up there. I wouldn't call it stress, but I wouldn't call it anger either. I really don't know how to describe it.
That happened last year and it really wasn't a good time for me.
KfW2 called me childish today. My attitude was poor in general, but I wasn't stupid enough to direct it towards anyone in work - it was just a bad mood based on the recent events. So, I know where she's coming from but I don't specifically agree with her either - this is just something that's been building up for a few months as I watch my respect and support for my manager slow ebb away as he continually fails to live up to my expectations.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Bleurgh! (Part 2)
Following on from this post, the departmental reshuffle started today and I was quite relieved to hear that other members of my team were also feeling the morale drop. There were several comments made that were similar to what I posted yesterday about morale dropping, lack of recognition and even one or two whispers that we're being singled out for some reason.
It certainly did seem that we are very much the losers in this reshuffle and that we're not being listened to by our immediate management team.
Ultimately, none of this is THAT serious (in my life, certainly way down the list compared to, say, my funks), but it's something I feel is quite important and should be easy to deal with. Making decisions based on logic and having your manager back you up are two of the most important parts of being a people manager IMO and are easy ways of keeping your team's morale high.
It certainly did seem that we are very much the losers in this reshuffle and that we're not being listened to by our immediate management team.
Ultimately, none of this is THAT serious (in my life, certainly way down the list compared to, say, my funks), but it's something I feel is quite important and should be easy to deal with. Making decisions based on logic and having your manager back you up are two of the most important parts of being a people manager IMO and are easy ways of keeping your team's morale high.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Bleurgh.
This time last year I had issues at work, mainly dealing with some management who were, to be quite blunt, borderline incompetent. Thankfully, and somewhat against my expectations, it was sorted. The people involved were moved on and we got a new, seemingly more pro-active person in to fill the gap.
Sadly, after an initial burst of enthusiasm, I'm started to feel a little jaded. I feel as if the work that I do is not getting the recognition that it deserves... and that goes for our group as a whole. I've presented the evidence to the new manager - it's really obvious when it's written down in black and white in comnparison to what other teams do - but he claims not to see it.
"The other groups can put forward similar arguments", he said.
"The let them." was my reply. "I know what the other teams do and, on paper, we do a much more technically demanding job. It's strange that the company seems to be shying away from recognising what we do."
He went silent.
Today they announced a departmental reshuffle. We've drawn the short straw (well, handed the short straw) and there's a definite element of morale dropping again.
I'm going to have to go back and have yet another chat about our lack of recognition and the seeming lack of respect that our team appears to be getting recently.
That didn't help my mood today - I've been funked up recently (I've been funked up pretty much all year, to be honest) and today, I'm feeling just a little sorry for myself.
Sadly, after an initial burst of enthusiasm, I'm started to feel a little jaded. I feel as if the work that I do is not getting the recognition that it deserves... and that goes for our group as a whole. I've presented the evidence to the new manager - it's really obvious when it's written down in black and white in comnparison to what other teams do - but he claims not to see it.
"The other groups can put forward similar arguments", he said.
"The let them." was my reply. "I know what the other teams do and, on paper, we do a much more technically demanding job. It's strange that the company seems to be shying away from recognising what we do."
He went silent.
Today they announced a departmental reshuffle. We've drawn the short straw (well, handed the short straw) and there's a definite element of morale dropping again.
I'm going to have to go back and have yet another chat about our lack of recognition and the seeming lack of respect that our team appears to be getting recently.
That didn't help my mood today - I've been funked up recently (I've been funked up pretty much all year, to be honest) and today, I'm feeling just a little sorry for myself.
Monday, July 28, 2014
D'oh.
My last post indicated that I only had one outstanding social engagement to cross off, but when London Girl sent a Facebook message earlier, I suddenly remembered that she's due to visit imminently. Well, within the next few weeks. All the important details are sorted - dates, she's booked the hotel, flights etc. It's just a matter of coming up with a few days' worth of interesting things to do.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
A small digest about a few things.
Another work thing last night, without CH (though I knew this from a while ago), but with CC and KfW2 and a few others. It was a great night, to be fair though it ended quite early with KfW2 back at mine for a coffee for an hour before her husband picked her up. I did notice that MfW had opened my milk. I need to have a conversation with him about this. Using small amounts of something is all well and good, but too many times he'll actually open something because he has nothing of his own.
I didn't get to sleep until after 4 AM. Rather, I feel asleep just after midnight, was awoken around 2 AM by a combination of my noisy next door neighbours playing loud music, another house party close by and guests of MfW's inability to lose a door behind them. While I was awake, I had a Facebook convo with a couple of friends, read a bit of a book and watched some TV.
I am absolutely shattered now though and the rest of the weekend will be used for chilling out. As I explained to KfW2 earlier, I feel as if I haven't had a run of decent night's sleep in months and it is taking its toll in terms of exhaustion, but also mood. The funk is back (though it hasn't properly gone away since I was doing online dating at the start of the year).
I only have one outstanding social engagement left to fulfil from my recent block booking and that's QC2. Apart from that, I hope to knock the booze on the head for at least a couple of weeks, maybe a month to tie in with my fitness goals but also to sort out the finances. For the past few months, I've been right down to the bare bones come the end of the month and that's mainly because I've been more active socially than usual.
I didn't get to sleep until after 4 AM. Rather, I feel asleep just after midnight, was awoken around 2 AM by a combination of my noisy next door neighbours playing loud music, another house party close by and guests of MfW's inability to lose a door behind them. While I was awake, I had a Facebook convo with a couple of friends, read a bit of a book and watched some TV.
I am absolutely shattered now though and the rest of the weekend will be used for chilling out. As I explained to KfW2 earlier, I feel as if I haven't had a run of decent night's sleep in months and it is taking its toll in terms of exhaustion, but also mood. The funk is back (though it hasn't properly gone away since I was doing online dating at the start of the year).
I only have one outstanding social engagement left to fulfil from my recent block booking and that's QC2. Apart from that, I hope to knock the booze on the head for at least a couple of weeks, maybe a month to tie in with my fitness goals but also to sort out the finances. For the past few months, I've been right down to the bare bones come the end of the month and that's mainly because I've been more active socially than usual.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Cheers!
I met up with my old school friend last night and we had a blast. Despite not seeing each other in person for probably six years, and our online conversations only ever really being small talk, we pretty much hit our stride within seconds.
We've always been close, so while there was the usual element of banter in the conversations, we got to the meaty stuff pretty quickly and we caught up on the past six years. Well, the important pieces at least.
That meant, from my perspective, I had to delve into the memory banks to dredge up details about online dating, RB, KfW2 and CB and my series of coming and going funks as the main highlights. Sometimes, when passing on details of these things, I can hold back a little. I maybe don't share exactly how I feel, but it's different with OSF. I was brutally honest about CB and my hopes and frustrations at the time. OSF was very perceptive about KfW2 and asked a few quite direct questions as well.
We also covered mutual friends - G, M, MM (by association), E3, FP etc. and we've shared as much as possible about those people. However, by this time, it was getting late and our shared "promise" of keeping it respectable had gone out of the window hours before, so we made a tactical decision to limit the damage and call it a night.
However, now that I remember how good my friendship is with OSF, he's now another person to add to the list of "people I should make an effort to see more often". I need a magical lottery win to afford that!
We've always been close, so while there was the usual element of banter in the conversations, we got to the meaty stuff pretty quickly and we caught up on the past six years. Well, the important pieces at least.
That meant, from my perspective, I had to delve into the memory banks to dredge up details about online dating, RB, KfW2 and CB and my series of coming and going funks as the main highlights. Sometimes, when passing on details of these things, I can hold back a little. I maybe don't share exactly how I feel, but it's different with OSF. I was brutally honest about CB and my hopes and frustrations at the time. OSF was very perceptive about KfW2 and asked a few quite direct questions as well.
We also covered mutual friends - G, M, MM (by association), E3, FP etc. and we've shared as much as possible about those people. However, by this time, it was getting late and our shared "promise" of keeping it respectable had gone out of the window hours before, so we made a tactical decision to limit the damage and call it a night.
However, now that I remember how good my friendship is with OSF, he's now another person to add to the list of "people I should make an effort to see more often". I need a magical lottery win to afford that!
Monday, July 21, 2014
Groo (something different).
I returned to work today after a week off. Everything was going well until lunchtime. This afternoon, my head got sore, I developed a sore throat and aches around my neck and shoulders, I became light-headed and developed a temperature/shivers. This made the afternoon seem to last forever. When I got home, I popped a couple of painkillers and tried to have a nap. I don't usually nap - once I'm awake in the morning, that's me for the day until bedtime - but today I dozed for maybe ninety minutes.
I've eaten a few crackers, but I'm not particularly hungry. I don't feel queasy or anything, but I definitely am out of sorts. With a work thing and meeting my school friend later this week, I really hope I'm not coming down with something.
I've eaten a few crackers, but I'm not particularly hungry. I don't feel queasy or anything, but I definitely am out of sorts. With a work thing and meeting my school friend later this week, I really hope I'm not coming down with something.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Groo.
The night out with KfW2 ended up being a long night. It was well after 4AM before I finally got back into the house. I've been out of sorts all day long - there was more than alcohol taken last night which might have had an effect - but the company was good. I was a bit wary about KfW2's husband's friend who was also invited out. It's not that I don't like him, but I do find him to be quite immature at times, so I was concerned that the conversation would be difficult.
It wasn't the case at all... there were times where I felt left out - KfW2, her husband and the friend all have a shared past, so there were lots of references to that, which is hard to get involved with.
I got more drunk and stoned than I would have liked (more the latter than the former), but overall it was a good night.
As the post title might imply, I'm not feeling 100%, so the fitness thing I'm doing elsewhere will need to kick back into serious action this week. Once I get the nights out with my old school friend and QC2 out of the way, I might even try and stop the alcohol intake for a few weeks.
It wasn't the case at all... there were times where I felt left out - KfW2, her husband and the friend all have a shared past, so there were lots of references to that, which is hard to get involved with.
I got more drunk and stoned than I would have liked (more the latter than the former), but overall it was a good night.
As the post title might imply, I'm not feeling 100%, so the fitness thing I'm doing elsewhere will need to kick back into serious action this week. Once I get the nights out with my old school friend and QC2 out of the way, I might even try and stop the alcohol intake for a few weeks.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Looking forward.
As part of the semi-ongoing fitness/exercise thing I'm documenting elsewhere, I was trying to knock the booze on the head for a while, especially after last week's excesses. Then I cracked yesterday and sent GM a text suggesting a few drinks. He's out of town this weekend, so I thought I'd dodged a bullet... for all of about five minutes until S sent a text suggesting the same thing.
I jumped at the opportunity. I often complain about S's friends and how they stifle any chance of a proper conversation, and it would only be myself and S. We ended up in our usual bars and the conversation flowed really well. Off the back of a recent conversation with USHW and my recent chat with MfW, I suggested to S that we (me, S and GM) might try a bit of speed dating for a laugh. He seemed hesitant at first, but when I sold it to him as a night that we treat as a bit of a laugh, not as a speed dating night, he agreed to join in only if I can talk GM into it.
GM is an adventurous sort, so I'm not really seeing any issues in getting GM on-board. The hard part, I think, is actually finding a speed dating or singles night in my home town.
I jumped at the opportunity. I often complain about S's friends and how they stifle any chance of a proper conversation, and it would only be myself and S. We ended up in our usual bars and the conversation flowed really well. Off the back of a recent conversation with USHW and my recent chat with MfW, I suggested to S that we (me, S and GM) might try a bit of speed dating for a laugh. He seemed hesitant at first, but when I sold it to him as a night that we treat as a bit of a laugh, not as a speed dating night, he agreed to join in only if I can talk GM into it.
GM is an adventurous sort, so I'm not really seeing any issues in getting GM on-board. The hard part, I think, is actually finding a speed dating or singles night in my home town.
Friday, July 18, 2014
More for the diary...
I've just arranged a last-minute night out with S for this evening. Tomorrow, KfW2 is taking me out to dinner to her favourite burger restaurant, then we're having drinks afterwards.
Next week, I've already pencilled in a night out with an old school friend. We knew each other a primary school and were very close friends, we maintained contact during secondary school though drifted apart a little and reconnected in my late 20s when he returned from university while I was dating FA2.
He broke some news a few months ago that he's split up with his partner of probably ten years (I only met her once but she was lovely), so I've a sneaking suspicion that it could be a night of soul searching. Not that that's a bad thing, if that's what we need to do, then that's what we'll do.
I also still have this tentative but as yet un-finalised night out with QC2 to do and I have something at the back of my mind that I can't put my finger on regarding something next weekend.
Busy times!
Next week, I've already pencilled in a night out with an old school friend. We knew each other a primary school and were very close friends, we maintained contact during secondary school though drifted apart a little and reconnected in my late 20s when he returned from university while I was dating FA2.
He broke some news a few months ago that he's split up with his partner of probably ten years (I only met her once but she was lovely), so I've a sneaking suspicion that it could be a night of soul searching. Not that that's a bad thing, if that's what we need to do, then that's what we'll do.
I also still have this tentative but as yet un-finalised night out with QC2 to do and I have something at the back of my mind that I can't put my finger on regarding something next weekend.
Busy times!
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Elementary.
MfW poked his head in through the door from the kitchen. He's been back less than 24 hours and he's already used up all the bowls and the dishwasher hasn't been emptied by FNG despite him spending all night in the kitchen last night doing who knows what.
Anyway, MfW asks me if I've been putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I know what he means - with FNG not pulling his weight, someone's been putting dirty dishes into an un-emptied dishwasher.
I trundle down to investigate and he's shows me. It looks like a bowl with caked-on Weetabix. However, the only person that I know who eats Weetabix and doesn't have the gumption to rinse a bowl (after leaving it for a day) before putting it in the dishwasher is MfW himself.
I look at the bowl and then I look at him.
"I don't eat Weetabix" and I leave it at that.
I shouldn't have to say to two professional males that they need to be more pro-active around the house, but it is getting to that stage. FNG might be OK, but MfW can be problematic.
Anyway, MfW asks me if I've been putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I know what he means - with FNG not pulling his weight, someone's been putting dirty dishes into an un-emptied dishwasher.
I trundle down to investigate and he's shows me. It looks like a bowl with caked-on Weetabix. However, the only person that I know who eats Weetabix and doesn't have the gumption to rinse a bowl (after leaving it for a day) before putting it in the dishwasher is MfW himself.
I look at the bowl and then I look at him.
"I don't eat Weetabix" and I leave it at that.
I shouldn't have to say to two professional males that they need to be more pro-active around the house, but it is getting to that stage. FNG might be OK, but MfW can be problematic.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Women! *rolls eyes*
QC2 was in touch a few weeks ago. I think I posted about it here. We arranged to meet up at some point after the World Cup had ended. This was her call, not mine. I'd gladly have spent a night in the pub with her instead of sitting on my ass watching TV. She sent me a text last Wednesday, out of the blue, just small talk and finishes it off with "we must met up soon". So, on Sunday, I sent her a text.
"Let's meet up soon. When's good for you?"
Nothing since.
QC2 has done this before. It's already been over a year since we last met up. I hope she isn't going to go AWOL again.
"Let's meet up soon. When's good for you?"
Nothing since.
QC2 has done this before. It's already been over a year since we last met up. I hope she isn't going to go AWOL again.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
It's a numbers game
I don't know why I've taken to reading the 30 First Dates blog - I find it frustrating due to my own online dating experiences, sometimes it's poorly written (the sheer amount of exclamation marks is astounding), it's not a particularly fast website to load and, perhaps the most important part - that it's London-based. But reading through 30 First Dates and the bloggers have written about quite a few different types of dating events beyond the obvious, bog-standard singles nights or speed dating and these are interesting in themselves. None of these are available in my area, probably because the numbers don't support it.
A lot of the more popular dating/lifestyle blogs are based in large cities which often skews the scene (whichever scene is being blogged about).
My age goes against me somewhat, but my geography is worse. A quick litmus test on Guardian Soulmates: I am a man looking for a woman. I enter my age range and geographical range (20 miles). I do two searches - my home town where I'm currently based and London.
My home town turns up three results. London turns up 1500.
OK, so I realise that the result seems extreme, and I guess they are in that Guardian Soulmates is not one of the mainstream dating websites, but the results are easy to come by and they are indicative of the problem I face.
Dating is a numbers game. I live in an area that has, perhaps, 600,000 people. London has 15 million. So, when reading blogs about dating in London and how some people are "complaining" about not being able to find a date, the blood does boil a little. Especially when the complainers are attractive women. I'm not saying I wouldn't still be single if I were in London (or had access to the sheer numbers of a London-based online dater), but I also wouldn't be sitting here, somewhat depressed because I never got any replies from any of my favoured matches on four separate dating websites and Tinder. I believe wholeheartedly that I'd be an active dater.
Going back to the online dating thing... I'm almost tempted to take Miss29's reviewing format and apply it to my own experiences. Yes, I'm THAT bored.
A lot of the more popular dating/lifestyle blogs are based in large cities which often skews the scene (whichever scene is being blogged about).
My age goes against me somewhat, but my geography is worse. A quick litmus test on Guardian Soulmates: I am a man looking for a woman. I enter my age range and geographical range (20 miles). I do two searches - my home town where I'm currently based and London.
My home town turns up three results. London turns up 1500.
OK, so I realise that the result seems extreme, and I guess they are in that Guardian Soulmates is not one of the mainstream dating websites, but the results are easy to come by and they are indicative of the problem I face.
Dating is a numbers game. I live in an area that has, perhaps, 600,000 people. London has 15 million. So, when reading blogs about dating in London and how some people are "complaining" about not being able to find a date, the blood does boil a little. Especially when the complainers are attractive women. I'm not saying I wouldn't still be single if I were in London (or had access to the sheer numbers of a London-based online dater), but I also wouldn't be sitting here, somewhat depressed because I never got any replies from any of my favoured matches on four separate dating websites and Tinder. I believe wholeheartedly that I'd be an active dater.
Going back to the online dating thing... I'm almost tempted to take Miss29's reviewing format and apply it to my own experiences. Yes, I'm THAT bored.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
*hic*
The big planned night out turned out to be a huge success. Pretty much everyone turned up who said they would and anyone who didn't had already said that they wouldn't, with the exception of JB, but she was an outside bet.
While I really enjoyed the night and had a great time, part of me was expecting something more. Something more than simply sitting round a table and chatting with a dozen or so friends... I did want to sit down with GM and S and talk about getting out to meet people - the pub, dating nights or whatever - but that never happened. I had a gut feeling that something unexpected was going to happen, that my stars were going to align and I'd meet someone, a potential girlfriend, a one night stand, a fuck buddy, a new friend, just someone, but that never panned out either.
I ended up being very drunk, in a good way, and managed to leave the pub and stagger home (stagger being the operative word).
I'm glad I got everyone out. I really needed it, I think. The ongoing funk that I talk about in this post is still an issue (hence wanting to talk to GM) and especially the meeting someone angle. Reading other blogs, especially some dating blogs just makes me angry - my experiences with online dating, while comparable to KfW2's husband and GM as well, are not those of the bloggers I've been reading. Even Tinder is not showing me ANY matches
CH asked recently if I had given up on online dating, or specifically, had I closed my accounts. I did confirm and say to CH that I was disappointed that no-one seems to realise how my online dating experiences at the start of the year had effected me, how down I was about it.
It's the same old story... I do need to sit down and chat to someone - preferably GM or KfW2, but CH would work too.
While I really enjoyed the night and had a great time, part of me was expecting something more. Something more than simply sitting round a table and chatting with a dozen or so friends... I did want to sit down with GM and S and talk about getting out to meet people - the pub, dating nights or whatever - but that never happened. I had a gut feeling that something unexpected was going to happen, that my stars were going to align and I'd meet someone, a potential girlfriend, a one night stand, a fuck buddy, a new friend, just someone, but that never panned out either.
I ended up being very drunk, in a good way, and managed to leave the pub and stagger home (stagger being the operative word).
I'm glad I got everyone out. I really needed it, I think. The ongoing funk that I talk about in this post is still an issue (hence wanting to talk to GM) and especially the meeting someone angle. Reading other blogs, especially some dating blogs just makes me angry - my experiences with online dating, while comparable to KfW2's husband and GM as well, are not those of the bloggers I've been reading. Even Tinder is not showing me ANY matches
CH asked recently if I had given up on online dating, or specifically, had I closed my accounts. I did confirm and say to CH that I was disappointed that no-one seems to realise how my online dating experiences at the start of the year had effected me, how down I was about it.
It's the same old story... I do need to sit down and chat to someone - preferably GM or KfW2, but CH would work too.
Wednesday, July 09, 2014
Grrr...(Not part two - a different one).
A month ago I sent out an email arranging a night out. All the usual suspects were invited and they all agreed quite quickly. Probably something to do with the fact it wasn't just a night out - it was more of a celebration/special occasion.
Unsurprisingly, GB cried off yesterday. This isn't an issue - she was originally invited more because of habit than anything else, and she been invited out to less and less since the CB fiasco last year and certainly since she got offside at Xmas, even after I'd opened up a little and said that I kinda needed the company.
The one that got me was CH. After I'd sent out the final arrangements today, she was straight on to IM.
"But I'm only coming out for one drink!" she exclaimed.
I told her that this was news to me - that her previous plans had certainly involved not drinking, but had indicated that she would be out for a good few hours before getting the bus home.
"I'll be driving. It's my turn!"
I asked why she couldn't swap with her friend.
"My husband is working extra hours this week and I need to look after the kids."
It's plausible, but the upshot is that she's had a month so sort all this out. Certainly the driving thing could easily have been sorted. The drinking thing isn't an issue - I want the company, not necessarily for people to be drunk. KfW2 won't be drinking, for example. The only other issue is her husband working. If this had been a bog standard night out, I would have been disappointed, but accepted it. However, because it's a special occasion, I am angry that something that's not insurmountable gets in the way - she could have gotten her parents to look after the kids for a couple of hours (again, I wouldn't ask her to be out all night... but a few hours would be nice).
Sigh.
I did rant to KfW2, who was sympathetic, but what can you do? Some people are simply unreliable and that saddens me. Reliability should be the cornerstone of any friendship.
[EDIT]
CH sent me a message and asked if I would meet her for a lunchtime drink instead. Two things happened: firstly she went off on a massive rant about her friend who let her down at the last minute for a girly night out supposedly through illness but recovered enough to go out drinking the night after. I was about to tell her that her reaction wasn't OTT, but surely she realised that my own reaction to her last-minute news was similar, and if not then she was being hypocritical. I sighed, took another sip of beer and said nothing. OIt would have accomplished nothing.
Secondly, we were out for about 20 minutes. I had one pint, she had a bottle of beer and that was it. She made a move to get up and leave, but I made it clear that I was sitting on. I'd far rather she wanted to come out and have drink with me, not make it a box ticking exercise.
Unsurprisingly, GB cried off yesterday. This isn't an issue - she was originally invited more because of habit than anything else, and she been invited out to less and less since the CB fiasco last year and certainly since she got offside at Xmas, even after I'd opened up a little and said that I kinda needed the company.
The one that got me was CH. After I'd sent out the final arrangements today, she was straight on to IM.
"But I'm only coming out for one drink!" she exclaimed.
I told her that this was news to me - that her previous plans had certainly involved not drinking, but had indicated that she would be out for a good few hours before getting the bus home.
"I'll be driving. It's my turn!"
I asked why she couldn't swap with her friend.
"My husband is working extra hours this week and I need to look after the kids."
It's plausible, but the upshot is that she's had a month so sort all this out. Certainly the driving thing could easily have been sorted. The drinking thing isn't an issue - I want the company, not necessarily for people to be drunk. KfW2 won't be drinking, for example. The only other issue is her husband working. If this had been a bog standard night out, I would have been disappointed, but accepted it. However, because it's a special occasion, I am angry that something that's not insurmountable gets in the way - she could have gotten her parents to look after the kids for a couple of hours (again, I wouldn't ask her to be out all night... but a few hours would be nice).
Sigh.
I did rant to KfW2, who was sympathetic, but what can you do? Some people are simply unreliable and that saddens me. Reliability should be the cornerstone of any friendship.
[EDIT]
CH sent me a message and asked if I would meet her for a lunchtime drink instead. Two things happened: firstly she went off on a massive rant about her friend who let her down at the last minute for a girly night out supposedly through illness but recovered enough to go out drinking the night after. I was about to tell her that her reaction wasn't OTT, but surely she realised that my own reaction to her last-minute news was similar, and if not then she was being hypocritical. I sighed, took another sip of beer and said nothing. OIt would have accomplished nothing.
Secondly, we were out for about 20 minutes. I had one pint, she had a bottle of beer and that was it. She made a move to get up and leave, but I made it clear that I was sitting on. I'd far rather she wanted to come out and have drink with me, not make it a box ticking exercise.
Sunday, July 06, 2014
Grrr...
It's funny. 6:29 on a digital clock (or, rather, my bedside clock) reads the same upside down as it does the right way up.
That was the first thought that went through my head this morning when I opened my eyes.
Awake at half-past six when I only got to bed around 2AM. This lack of sleep thing is really starting to get to me. As I've already explained/admitted to KfW2, I've been really irritable over the past month or so and this was evident again last night.
S invited me out to watch the World Cup with a friend of his. This friend, a guy I know and like, invited some of his co-workers. I knew instantly, when we were introduced, that I probably wouldn't like him (which is quite unlike me) and this proved to be the case.
I hunted out somewhere with a good view of one of the many TVs in the bar, only for him to walk past us and try and blag seats at a table because he insisted on sitting. We had been sitting there less than ten minutes when he decided again to move to the adjacent, and now vacant table. I refused to move - the seats that S and I had were excellent and moving would have meant a poorer view of the TV. All the while he was, in my opinion, showing off, about the fact he was a known regular in the bar and with each passing arbitrary decision he made, I got more annoyed.
Afterwards, we went to get something to eat and play some pool. Only S and myself were eating, so I ordered food while the others played. A few minutes before the food was due to arrive, he made another arbitrary decision to move to a different pool table. He spared no thought to S or myself needing somewhere to eat food... he just wanted to move to a table where the sun wasn't shining.
That was the final straw. I told S when our food had arrived that I would finish it and go home. I was fed up with this man's constant arbitrary decision making without canvassing the rest of us and his showing off (when I was ordering food, he described everything on the menu, not by taste which might have been useful, but how it was presented).
I was home by 9PM with a couple of beers and chilled out by myself, watching the World Cup.
That type of thing annoys me at the best of times - personally speaking, I try to get everyone involved in decision making, so when other people spare no thought for the group, then that grinds my gears. However, my recent lack of sleep and short temper meant I was unable to look past that and have a good night, so rather than stay and get angry (or angrier), I simply left.
That was the first thought that went through my head this morning when I opened my eyes.
Awake at half-past six when I only got to bed around 2AM. This lack of sleep thing is really starting to get to me. As I've already explained/admitted to KfW2, I've been really irritable over the past month or so and this was evident again last night.
S invited me out to watch the World Cup with a friend of his. This friend, a guy I know and like, invited some of his co-workers. I knew instantly, when we were introduced, that I probably wouldn't like him (which is quite unlike me) and this proved to be the case.
I hunted out somewhere with a good view of one of the many TVs in the bar, only for him to walk past us and try and blag seats at a table because he insisted on sitting. We had been sitting there less than ten minutes when he decided again to move to the adjacent, and now vacant table. I refused to move - the seats that S and I had were excellent and moving would have meant a poorer view of the TV. All the while he was, in my opinion, showing off, about the fact he was a known regular in the bar and with each passing arbitrary decision he made, I got more annoyed.
Afterwards, we went to get something to eat and play some pool. Only S and myself were eating, so I ordered food while the others played. A few minutes before the food was due to arrive, he made another arbitrary decision to move to a different pool table. He spared no thought to S or myself needing somewhere to eat food... he just wanted to move to a table where the sun wasn't shining.
That was the final straw. I told S when our food had arrived that I would finish it and go home. I was fed up with this man's constant arbitrary decision making without canvassing the rest of us and his showing off (when I was ordering food, he described everything on the menu, not by taste which might have been useful, but how it was presented).
I was home by 9PM with a couple of beers and chilled out by myself, watching the World Cup.
That type of thing annoys me at the best of times - personally speaking, I try to get everyone involved in decision making, so when other people spare no thought for the group, then that grinds my gears. However, my recent lack of sleep and short temper meant I was unable to look past that and have a good night, so rather than stay and get angry (or angrier), I simply left.
Saturday, July 05, 2014
Well, well, well!
Just before I went on holiday with KfW2 last year, I asked DSC to do me a favour and help me go clothes shopping, only for her to throw a tantrum simply because I asked her to come an hour later than she had originally suggested.
I wouldn't say that I ended our friendship on the basis of this one incident, but I did make a conscious decision not to make first contact once I came back from my holiday.
So, unsurprisingly, I never heard from her again.
Until last night. 54 weeks after our last contact.
It simply said "I miss you".
It's a text message I'd love to get from a romantic partner, but I don't know whether to even bother with DSC any more. It's not anger or anything, just apathy and a desire not to get involved with any of her drama/mood swings.
I've not replied as yet. I don't know if I even will.
I wouldn't say that I ended our friendship on the basis of this one incident, but I did make a conscious decision not to make first contact once I came back from my holiday.
So, unsurprisingly, I never heard from her again.
Until last night. 54 weeks after our last contact.
It simply said "I miss you".
It's a text message I'd love to get from a romantic partner, but I don't know whether to even bother with DSC any more. It's not anger or anything, just apathy and a desire not to get involved with any of her drama/mood swings.
I've not replied as yet. I don't know if I even will.
Wednesday, July 02, 2014
*yaaaawn*
I finally fell asleep this morning at around 5AM. I do have these occasional insomniac nights. Sometimes there's a reason for it and I have things on my mind and others are inexplicable. Last night was one of those, though it probably wasn't helped by the neighbours watching some action film until after 1AM, then FNG being unable to close doors quietly at 3AM when he went for a piss.
I was due to be taking tomorrow and Friday off work, but as I had a stupendous headache, sore eyes and obviously needed some sleep, I took this afternoon as well. I haven't managed to get any sleep, but I have gone to Tesco and back and am now chilling out. Sleep will elude me until bedtime tonight.
I've also, again somewhat inexplicably, been thinking about CAB for some reason. Dunno why though.
I was due to be taking tomorrow and Friday off work, but as I had a stupendous headache, sore eyes and obviously needed some sleep, I took this afternoon as well. I haven't managed to get any sleep, but I have gone to Tesco and back and am now chilling out. Sleep will elude me until bedtime tonight.
I've also, again somewhat inexplicably, been thinking about CAB for some reason. Dunno why though.
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