Party on!

I heard a rumour a few days ago that we might actually have a company-wide Christmas party this year. it's been a while since we had one, since before Covid, and even longer since I last turned up to one.

In fact, I think the last one I was at, I left early due to a funk. The one before that, I turned down the tall women (who will be my new boss in a few weeks time), mainly because she was too drunk.

And it's 13 years since the "who knows" incident with CH. A night where I also, if I recall correctly, danced briefly with Quiet Girl after dragging her onto the dance floor.

Our Christmas parties used to be fun. The core team that I used to work with, that included KfW2, started to break up around 2016 which coincides with the parties becoming less fun but before that, we were a close-knit group (thanks to me).

I posted this rumour into a group chat, which includes Quiet Girl and Stalky Guy. QG seemed quite interested in attending if this all turned out to be true. I can't remember the last time I saw QG in anything other than jeans. It could have been that Christmas party in 2013.

I might even go this time, too. Now that I can fit into my old suit, and I actually think I look good in that suit, it'd be nice to have a reason to wear it that wasn't a funeral. I know that KfW2 thinks I look good in it (but then again, she was with me when I bought it, so it had her seal of approval from the start). But I also know that CH loves me in it. She's told me so, but she's also eye fucked me when I was wearing it (and she was sober). And USHW has also shared her appreciation, too.

Wonderful?

Do you know who randomly popped into my head this afternoon for seemingly no reason? Sports Girl. I don't know why. I'm still her friend on Facebook, though I've not seen her post in ages. Last I heard, she was living in Spain with a guy, as a scuba instructor or something like that - a far cry from her days as an engineer.

Do I miss her? It's difficult to say. She "disappeared" long before she left the country when she started dating GM, and was at least self-aware enough to keep her distance when they split up despite being friends with The Crowd.

I daresay that if I re-read the lengthy conversations I had with USHW about her would bring back some frustrations around her flakiness and going non-contact for no reason. And a different kind of frustration from that two month period where I was trying to bed her. She did look amazing in that Wonder Woman costume though.

Q?

Back in the day, when USHW and I used to have our conversations via email, we would often ask direct questions of each other. Sometimes they were personal in nature and sometimes they were just random nonsense, like:

"You wake up one Friday morning and found that you were in a bloke's body and you somehow knew that you'd transform back being to being female on Sunday night, what would you do for the weekend?"

But I had a dream last night. I can't remember the details beyond waking up this morning and thinking "That'd be a brilliant Q for USHW".

But, like the dream, it rapidly faded and by the time I'd had breakfast, brushed my teeth, gone for a walk and returned home, the details were gone.

Redemption.

Ages ago, like years, like pre-Covid, I had a period where, for no reason, I got super-paranoid that KfW2 had found this blog. it was unfounded paranoia. I woke one morning with the idea planted in my head and couldn't shake it for a few weeks, then it disappeared. I can't remember if I blogged about it or chatted to USHW about it.

But, back to today and  the post I made on Wednesday where I complained about KfW2 pleading poverty and also her random text messaging because she wouldn't text yesterday.

Well, she did text yesterday and there was the seeds of an actual conversation. And she arrived today, fully apologetic because she had to literally drop off some stuff and leave. But even though she was only here for ten minutes, she still offered up about four hugs. I love hugs. I love hugs with boobs, too. They hit different.

And her final parting sentence:

"When we come back, do you want to go for dinner or do that thing we did a few years back?" 

No mention of poverty.

"Let's figure it out when you come back."

Though, dear Reader, I am already leaning towards dinner. 

But, yeah, anyone would think that she'd been  reading the blog. She does have a habit of redeeming herself like this, though.

And speaking of dinner, I'm tempted to contact CC and see if she wants to do something low-key this evening. I'll see how I feel in an hour. 

And we're off!

Not a bad start to my time off work. Well, that's not strictly true. I was at the dentist, first thing, for a filling. But that involved a pleasant walk of around 2 miles, listening to some music, and indulging in my... passion? for women in scrubs.

But I've also managed to do some gardening, paint the fence and message several people, including USHW. KfW2 hasn't been in touch, though that's sadly expected, especially after her message from a few days ago. I will be seeing her tomorrow, though, albeit briefly. CC hasn't been in touch either, surprisingly. I was half-expecting her to be in contact, suggesting we go out for dinner. 

There's plenty of time left in the day, though. 

And Jessica Alba didn't show up, USHW.
 

Something to ponder.

I've been thinking about the Male Loneliness Epidemic recently. It's a big thing online. I don't know if it's as pervasive in real life, but I know that it's something I think about quite often. Regular readers will know that I've posted about loneliness before and my issues with my sister/brother-in-law and KfW2 always putting the responsibility for being in contact on me.

Often, from my perspective, the issue is not being alone but the quality of company when I do hunt it out. And "company" is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. I don't think I'm explaining myself too well. It's not the company per se but really how the company comes about and what happens when in company.

Even a nonsense conversation has value if someone seeks me out and makes the effort to get in touch. I was stupidly pleased when KfW2 got in touch at the end of last week, even if it was only because she subsequently wanted a favour.

Having loved ones take some time out of their day to get in touch means an awful lot to me. I get zero from my sister. I can't remember if I've blogged about this before, but I've lived in this house for ten years and my sister has never popped in for an impromptu chat and coffee. She has been here, but there's always a specific reason for her to be here. But she's very much of the mindset that people go to her.

KfW2 has semi-pivoted to that. She used to pop in quite frequently, but since Covid, that's all but gone. She's mentioned more than once that I am always welcome down at hers when I need company, which is great, but sometimes I just wanna get her on her own, no hubby, no kids, and be open with her.

FP has been a big loss and probably a big factor to me feeling lonely more frequently these days as we'd chat a few times a month, in person, in the pub.

Conversations with G scratch that itch, but he's only ever home once every few months and we usually grab an hour or so to chat over coffee or a beer.

And to give an example where it doesn't have to be in-person and more about the kind/quality of communication, USHW and I used to have ongoing rambly email conversations that often got quite deep and often quite personal. And I held those in great regard. Even the quick WhatsApp chats we have these days can sort of get there, just not to the same detail that they would have years ago.

So, yeah, for anyone reading this, people don't necessarily have to be isolated or alone to feel lonely. It's always worth reaching out to your loved ones, and it's even better to make the effort and see them in person. 

LOL.

I was swapping messages with USHW and she said something that provoked a memory of CAB.

I was out at a pub with CAB and BW and a few others including BW's younger brother. We were having a discussion of some kind, a light-hearted "boys vs girls" kind of conversation when BW's little brother proudly pronounced that "blokes invented batteries" and sat there feeling quite smug.

We knew what the undercurrent was of that, but it was kinda surprising to hear that come from BW's little bro.

"Blokes didn't invent fingers though, did they?" retorted CAB.

BW's little bro was flabbergasted. We all laughed at him.

"Looks like you lost, go get some drinks in!" laughed BW.

So... yeah... an enjoyable semi-conversation with USHW today and an enjoyable memory of CAB. 

A-ha!

I found myself going through an old MSN conversation with A earlier this afternoon. I remembered us being quite open with each other, but the conversation was quite explicit. A was fresh off her "secret" relationship with the guy who was fucking K on the side. She was on match.com, trying out online dating, before online dating was actually a thing. Plus it was the early stages of her relationship with the guy who would become her husband, and who she couldn't get a read on at all.

It was notable for being around the time of a few interesting social nights that I might have blogged about before - a night out with G where we met some cute women and a night out with my sister and brother-in-law (and Friction Guy) where I met and had really intense chemistry with another cute woman. I'm almost sure I've blogged about the former, maybe not the latter though.

Anyway, A was being very explicit about a lot of things - her failed attempts to fuck the now-husband, her chesty Match.com photos, the now-husband's oral skills, her general horniness levels (the good weather gets her frisky), how great her tits were, and her concern that her holidays, the now-husband's holidays and her imminent period would take sex off the table for at least a month.

I'd completely forgotten that she was that forthright about stuff. But that kind of stuff never fazes me and unlike UHSW who was testing boundaries when we first started talking, I think A just liked that she could talk about whatever she wanted without pushing me away simply because she was talking about, for example, her period.

Blast from the past.

Years ago, when I was an active participant in online dating, I got a message from a woman on OK Cupid. That was unusual. Women, in my experience, never open a conversation or make the first move. It was a "proper" website, too. Not an app. So there was no "match" to indicate a message was incoming.

Anyway, she seemed pretty, had decent curves and great, colourful hair. When I shared her pictures with USHW, she admitted to some hair envy. We messaged for a bit. She seemed fun, had a decent sense of humour but there wasn't that level of attraction that wanted me to take it further. The conversation fizzled out after a couple of days, IIRC.

Another point worth mentioning that is pertinent is that pretty much every bar in my hometown these days has some kind of music act on: guitarists or DJs. And they're loud.

So when one of my favourite bars in Belfast (the one where I had my actual date with Recruitment Bird) posted on Facebook about a new all-female DJ collective, I nearly passed it by. The "music" scene in my hometown is a scourge if all you want to do is meet friends and chat. But one of those women looks familiar. It has been ten years, but is it?

Yes, it is! The girl from OK Cupid with the hair! 

What if...

I'm blaming the booze for a weird dream I had last night. It was a scenario that I've dreamed and blogged about before: the weekend I originally met USHW. I think I blogged about a recent version of the dream that involved both USHW and K. Last night's dream just involved K.

It was a bit of a "What if?" scenario. I've already blogged many times about how K and I had hooked up, how she wanted to properly date whereas I just wanted something casual and how that effectively ended our friendship.

Well, in the dream last night, we had gone down the casual route, meeting every few months in cities across the UK for fun. As a result of that, in this alternative universe, USHW was never offered the opportunity to share the hotel room. And so when the weekend rolled round, it was K who shared the hotel room even if she wasn't attending the social event that required the hotel room.

It was kinda weird. Despite over analysing things at times (you should see some of the conversations between USHW and me when I was trying to bed Sports Girl), what might have happened with K is something I've never really revisited. I've no idea what "something casual" might have looked like with her.

So, it was a bit of a frustrating morning, but I do like the reminiscing sometimes. 

Quick update

Just a couple of things: firstly, it's USHW's birthday today. I've already texted her, but HB anyway. Lovely weather, isn't it? *wink*

Secondly, BR has been in touch. BR and his wife are going to be in town in a month's time, so we may get the chance to get some food and catch up. That should be fun. It's been ages since I saw BR and his missus.

Out of the blue.

This morning, I thought of a woman that I'd not thought of in years. We had this brief thing when I was travelling about 20 years ago. She was a barmaid at a local bar I frequented, a few years younger than me. I went in one weeknight because I wanted some company and knew no-one else.

I'd spoken to her before, of course. But never a one-to-one conversation. There were always people about.

I got chatting to some of the people in the bar and that was that. They all drifted off until it was just me and her. She closed the bar and we sat on for another few drinks. The conversation flowed, so she suggested we went back to hers for more drinks, and I accepted. At that stage, I had no inkling anything was on the cards. She was cute, but I was enjoying the conversation.

There was something intimate about sitting in an empty bar, the doors locked, only a few lights on and chatting. We weren't sharing anything massively private or anything. If memory serves, it was just your basic "what are you going to do with your life" kinda stuff. But we kept our voices low nonetheless, as if people were listening.

And I'm a sucker for that kind of conversation. That's why I like the nights in the bar with KfW2. It's why I miss my email "conversations" with USHW.

Anyway, we went back to hers and I eventually spent the night. There was a repeat performance a few months later just before I left to come home, and that was it. I tried to find her on Facebook years ago, but could never find her. Partly because I couldn't remember her surname for ages.

And she popped into my head this morning as I was brushing my teeth. 

Merry Xmas!

Happy Christmas all! I hope that Santa has been really good to you (or will be, depending on where you are in the world).

I'm going to have a long hot bath (a proper long, hot bath, USHW, not "our" kind), make some brekkie and this afternoon, I'll head to my sisters for Christmas lunch.

Santa, once again, completely ignored my wish for Jessica Alba.

 

 

So have some  attractive women in backless dresses.

Dream a trois.

I didn't sleep well last night. It was after 4 AM before I finally dropped off to sleep, but I woke this morning to the end of a dream that I think I've had before in various flavours. It's actually based off a real life incident from back in 2005.

In real life, the people from the online hobby met up in London one weekend. During that weekend, USHW and I shared a room and a bed. Originally it was meant to be F, but she had to pull out for reasons I can't remember. Anyway, on the Saturday night, after we'd parted with everyone else at the pub, we got back to the hotel and were chatting in our room.

Someone started knocking on the door - it was a woman from the online hobby. I'd never met her before this day nor had I communicated with her, but she was friends with a guy that I sorta knew.

Anyway, we invited her in, we chatted and drank for a bit before I went to sleep. The next day, when USHW and I were talking, we decided that she'd come looking for a hookup with me and got blind-sided by us sharing a room. 

That's what happened in real life. In the dream, it wasn't the blonde woman who knocked on the door, but K. I ended up having a threesome with USHW and K and we all fell asleep contented. K woke me early the next morning, dragged me to the shower and fucked me. I dried off, leaving K to her shower and returned to bed where USHW was stirring.

When K left the bathroom to get dressed, I was going down on USHW. K got angry/jealous, hurriedly dressed herself and left and that's where the dream ended.

In real life, USHW and I never had sex. I had fucked K on another occasion that I think is pretty well documented on this blog. However, I have had variations of that dream before with different women. So I was in a combo mood this morning of being super-tired and super-horny and that's made me super-grumpy.

Suits you.

The funeral is tomorrow, so I need to dust off the suit, tie and shoes. The question is, though, which one?

I've mentioned, in passing, that I've been on a weight loss journey this year. It was kicked off by another funeral roughly around this time last year. I couldn't fit into my suit, that I hadn't worn since FP's funeral a few years back. I was disappointed for a few reasons. 

Firstly, I liked the suit. It was one that KfW2 helped me pick out and I never felt as self-conscious in it as I did in other suits. I think because of KfW2's influence and her approval. I know USHW often posted positiver comments when she saw me in the suit and CH's eyes near popped out of her head when she saw me in it at work events. So not being able to fit into it was disappointing. 

Secondly, when I went to buy a new suit, I had to look at jackets and trousers several sizes up. I had put on a lot of weight since Covid.

I made the executive decision there and then to buy a cheap suit and start thinking about proper weight loss.

So here we are, a year later. I've lost a significant amount of weight. I've probably not been this weight in at least a decade or longer, so I am extremely confident that when I try on the older suit at lunchtime that it'll fit again.

Toasty

Well, it's finally done. Arguably, it's something I should have done ten years ago, but the first part of the house renovation is complete. I got lucky, too. The previous system was old and in really bad shape and I am genuinely surprised that it never just packed up.

I gave USHW a running commentary from my office, which I didn't leave for the entire day until I inspected the work.

And I'm hoping for a good night's sleep, because I only got about 3 hours last night. And due to that memory/thought about FBS, I've been... frustrated all day long. 

Urgh.

I don't know why, but I feel physically ill. I think it's nerves or something with the guys doing the work in the house, but I've spoken to the main guy and all the work I wanted done is being done, even if it's not specifically called out in the quote.

This had bothered me over the past few weeks, which I'd shared with USHW. But that shouldn't be a problem now, so why do I feel nauseous?

Girl Crush.

Years ago, USHW posted on her blog about a "girl crush" on fitness model Jamie Eason. We'd also chatted about her elsewhere, and I can't recall which came first, though it doesn't really matter for the sake of this story. Jamie Eason was (is) is an attractive woman with short blonde hair and a physique you can only get in the gym. And the surgeon, if her rack is anything to go by. Which reminds me of another conversation that USHW and I had.

Anyway, here is the model in question:

 Very attractive, I think you'll agree.

The reason that this all popped into my head this morning was because I came across (no pun intended) Taylor Wild, an adult entertainment actress that gave off similar vibes - attractive, great physique, short blonde hair, albeit heavily tattooed.

Oh la la!

For the first time in a long time, a familiar face* appeared on Tinder today. It was Blonde Emma Willis (have I describe her as that on the blog or is that just what I call her to USHW?) I've swiped right, of course, cos she's pretty and I am a sucker for a pretty face. I don't know that we're suited... a gut feeling... but it's been that long since I've had a date that I kinda feel I almost need to swipe on those that I think are cute regardless.

*Familiar, but cute. There are plenty of women I see on Tinder regularly that are not swipeable. 

Remember when?

I was bored at work and spent the afternoon re-reading some email conversations with USHW from back in the day. Specifically, the interactions with Ideas Girl when she was drunk and supposedly flirting and the period of time after Sports Girl admitted she "liked" me.

It was kind of bittersweet. I really enjoyed my conversations with USHW for starters.  The Ideas Girl chat was funny, even though she was really quite rude. I recall sharing one such chat with KfW2 who suggested that I "bone her and get it out of your system". When I suggested that I don't something like that before and it didn't work out well (K), I was surprised that she didn't ask follow-up questions.