I thinking about going on holiday... but not until next year. I'm considering going back to NZ (I've been there before, about 6 years ago), but this time to the South Island. I was based in the North Island last time and saw most of it. Now I want to see the South Island, where the landscapes are amazing and there are plenty of outdoor things to get up to.
I mentioned this to E a few days ago and she's up for it, saying that we could do a bit of travelling together. That would be great. I also have a few other people I could visit on the South Island, so not only would I be going on holiday (which is not something I tend to do), but I'd also be able to visit quite a few people (and I've always been able to justify almost any journey if it's in the name of "visiting"). That's kind of how I got to NZ before - I'd always wanted to go, but didn't fancy it on my own. When FA2 was out there, I used her as an excuse to go out, knowing I could use her as a backup if anything went wrong.
This time, if I do go, I could easily see myself flying halfway round the world and not going anywhere near her (a similar thing in reverse would be an Aussie/Kiwi coming to Britain, staying in London and not visiting a mate in Edinburgh), though there are people in Auckland I'd love to see again.
It's going to cost at least £1500, though, so it's something I'll have to ponder (but start saving for now).
Monday, March 26, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Oh, and another thing...
With reference to FA2, I must point out that soon after/during/before I broke up with FA2, she started seeing another man. Again, I'm not going into the details because they don't really matter right now. However, I was speaking to my friend BW (one of those mutual friends mentioned in my previous post) who has been to where FA2 is now living and called in for a visit. I was chatting to him on MSN recently when he proclaimed (rather randomly) that he thought FA2's partner (yes, the same one) was "a wanker".
Interesting. BW is a lot of things, but he's not judgemental, so to hear him say this was a bit of a shock. I'm not into that kind of conversation remotely though, so it'll have to wait until we meet up and go for a pint. Weird, though.
Interesting. BW is a lot of things, but he's not judgemental, so to hear him say this was a bit of a shock. I'm not into that kind of conversation remotely though, so it'll have to wait until we meet up and go for a pint. Weird, though.
Gah. Women.
Hah! Bloody typical. Have I posted before about an ex-partner of mine, FA2 and her complete lack of social contact? I think I've at least touched on the subject before at some point.
Anyway, FA2 moved far away a few years ago. We're talking across-the-water-and-at-least-twelve-hours-on-a-plane far, not a twenty minute trip in the car up the road. While she was leaving, we didn't do a lot of communicating, but I was under the impression that we'd ease off on the relationship thing while she was away. There were a couple of reasons I made that decision, but mainly because FA2 was going away for a reason. She was unhappy. Incredibly unhappy. The few years before we got together (we knew each other via mutual friends) had seen her go through a divorce that was a lot more complicated than it should have been, move house a few times, get really stressed in her job by a boss that took her for granted and then she had to deal with me.
She used to cycle through depressive periods. Roughly once every six weeks, she'd have a few really bad days before bouncing back and repeating the cycle. She hid it from everyone except me, but I could never find the right things to say or do during these periods. One night, during one of these periods as she was ranting at me for not expressing myself, I suggested she took a career break and disappeared somewhere for at least a few months to clear her head. We talked about it and I suggested somewhere slightly further away than London (as an example) where she would enjoy a complete lifestyle change and, as I said, clear her head.
Well, for the first time in a long time, she actually listened to what I said. She set the plans in motion and around six months later, she was ready to go. As I said, we didn't really talk about what would happen while she was gone, but I was under the impression I had mentioned that we both took a step back from the relationship. It wasn't breaking up and it wasn't Ross' old "Friends" favourite "a break", it was keeping the relationship alive without having to be concerned about making sure we called each other every single day. As I said, FA2 needed a change and this, I thought, was part of that plan.
So, when FA2 went away (the plan was for about a year), we remained in contact. At the start, FA2 continued with the calling/emailing every day or so thing from November until past Christmas and then it just stopped. I'd been replying/in contact probably about twice a week until that point.
Anyway, FA2 dropped off the radar, popping up to contact me a couple of times a month. I maintained me once per week contact, which started to get less and less personal as I had nothing to go on because she was saying precious little in return. This went on until we broke up and despite having each other as email and MSN contacts, she simply couldn't be bothered any more.
We've been apart for some time now, but she pops onto MSN every now and again. Sadly, she never really says anything of worth. Out of the last dozen times she's made personal contact (i.e. on MSN, not through sending group, impersonal emails) I'd say that two times were to strike up a conversation and the rest were because she needed some information about her PC or, the reason for this rant, tonight it was information on selling her house here at home. She still complains to this very day that I'm never in contact enough and each time we do have a personal conversation, she demands to know when I'm next going out to visit her (which is a good £700 flight away and would require three weeks off work). Does she not realise that her input into our so-called friendship doesn't give her the right to demand that kind of sacrifice?
Gah. Women.
Anyway, FA2 moved far away a few years ago. We're talking across-the-water-and-at-least-twelve-hours-on-a-plane far, not a twenty minute trip in the car up the road. While she was leaving, we didn't do a lot of communicating, but I was under the impression that we'd ease off on the relationship thing while she was away. There were a couple of reasons I made that decision, but mainly because FA2 was going away for a reason. She was unhappy. Incredibly unhappy. The few years before we got together (we knew each other via mutual friends) had seen her go through a divorce that was a lot more complicated than it should have been, move house a few times, get really stressed in her job by a boss that took her for granted and then she had to deal with me.
She used to cycle through depressive periods. Roughly once every six weeks, she'd have a few really bad days before bouncing back and repeating the cycle. She hid it from everyone except me, but I could never find the right things to say or do during these periods. One night, during one of these periods as she was ranting at me for not expressing myself, I suggested she took a career break and disappeared somewhere for at least a few months to clear her head. We talked about it and I suggested somewhere slightly further away than London (as an example) where she would enjoy a complete lifestyle change and, as I said, clear her head.
Well, for the first time in a long time, she actually listened to what I said. She set the plans in motion and around six months later, she was ready to go. As I said, we didn't really talk about what would happen while she was gone, but I was under the impression I had mentioned that we both took a step back from the relationship. It wasn't breaking up and it wasn't Ross' old "Friends" favourite "a break", it was keeping the relationship alive without having to be concerned about making sure we called each other every single day. As I said, FA2 needed a change and this, I thought, was part of that plan.
So, when FA2 went away (the plan was for about a year), we remained in contact. At the start, FA2 continued with the calling/emailing every day or so thing from November until past Christmas and then it just stopped. I'd been replying/in contact probably about twice a week until that point.
Anyway, FA2 dropped off the radar, popping up to contact me a couple of times a month. I maintained me once per week contact, which started to get less and less personal as I had nothing to go on because she was saying precious little in return. This went on until we broke up and despite having each other as email and MSN contacts, she simply couldn't be bothered any more.
We've been apart for some time now, but she pops onto MSN every now and again. Sadly, she never really says anything of worth. Out of the last dozen times she's made personal contact (i.e. on MSN, not through sending group, impersonal emails) I'd say that two times were to strike up a conversation and the rest were because she needed some information about her PC or, the reason for this rant, tonight it was information on selling her house here at home. She still complains to this very day that I'm never in contact enough and each time we do have a personal conversation, she demands to know when I'm next going out to visit her (which is a good £700 flight away and would require three weeks off work). Does she not realise that her input into our so-called friendship doesn't give her the right to demand that kind of sacrifice?
Gah. Women.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Fond memories.
I had a dream last night about a night I'd spent with V a few years ago. I've no idea why I dreamt about it as it's been months since I last thought of V, but I thought it was worth blogging. It was one of those nights that you wish would happen all the time and that would never end while you're experiencing them.
It was well after 3 AM when I arrived back in my apartment and it would be fair to say that I was pretty toasted. After all, I'd been drinking pretty constantly since 4 PM the previous day. GFW (a work colleague) and myself had gone for our usual post-work drinks at the local bar. The barmaid, V, liked us. She gave us free drinks, usually. Yes, I know, the bar staff always give free drinks in America if you tip decently enough, but from what I could tell, V went above and beyond with us.
This evening was no exception and by the time GFW and myself left only a few hours later, we had a good buzz on due to beers and vodka cocktails. That evening, I was hosting a poker night at my apartment for the first part anyway, then we were going to see what was on. It was Hallowe'en night, so I think the idea was to see if we could go somewhere a bit fun.
V had already told myself and GFW about a place she was heading to and invited us along if we were interested. We asked her to pop in to our poker game before she went to her own party and said that we'd consider it.
GFW was definitely considering it. For some reason, the assumption was there that V and I had a bit of a spark going on. To be honest, I'm not sure if that was entirely accurate. V was an attractive girl, though. Whether anything was ever on the cards was a matter of speculation. I certainly wasn't convinced (though was always on the lookout). I do think the rest of the guys were more than convinced that it was only a matter of time. I'd hoped that the fact that V hadn't shown up at our poker night for a drink would perhaps make the guys less enthusiastic about V and myself getting together.
When the poker ended around midnight, I was already gone with the best part of a bottle of gin in me. We split into two groups. One set of us went to a local Polish bar while the rest of us tried to find V's “party”. We did eventually find it, due to some single-minded navigation by our driver who took us the wrong way initially.
When we arrived at this party, it was just a bar, albeit quite busy. We met V, who was propped up at one end of the bar, dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and bloody hell, did she look good. I mean... Oh. My. God. She always looked good at our local bar, but she never dressed up. I don't remember her in anything other than floral patterned long dresses that I always thought were too 'old' for her. I never said that, though.
We got chatting to V and found out she was a guest of the guys that owned the bar, a husband and wife team. They offered us free drinks, so we had a few shots and bought a few beers. Then the bar owner came out and offered us hash brownies, which went down a storm. By this stage I was probably about as wrecked as I'd ever been in my entire life and we were already drawing a bit of a crowd. I can't remember why, we weren't doing anything that would draw attention to ourselves at this point – myself and GFW were chatting to V and the other guys were chatting amongst themselves.
Then we got stuck into the helium balloons...
Once we started inhaling the helium and talking in high pitched voices with Irish accents, then we drew a crowd and, dare I say it, livened up the party a little which at that point had been several groups of people all talking within their little groups. A couple of drinks later though and it was time to call it a night. The guys that owned the bar were calling last orders. Myself and the guys were about to go home but V wanted to go elsewhere. Suddenly, despite having made a good impression with the locals, they were concerned that V went home rather than tag along with us, a group of relative strangers. That was fair enough and we called it a night. By this stage it was around 3:15 AM.
I was contemplating a shower back at my apartment around ten minutes after leaving the bar when the phone rang. At that time of the morning, I was expecting it to be someone from home who had mixed up the time difference, but it turned out to be V. Weird. We got into a conversation, but it didn't seem to be anything important. I made a decision. I mentioned to V that it was late, but if she wanted to chat, she was more than welcome to come around to mine for a drink. If not, could we perhaps leave this to another time – meet for a coffee or go for a drink?
Given that V was probably as toasted as I was, her decision was to come for a drink. I gave her my address, cracked open a beer and waited.
It seemed like ages until V arrived. I think, by the watch, it was nearly 45 minutes. That's definitely an age when it's half past three in the morning, you're waiting for a girl that you're interested in and that your mates are telling you is unquestionably interested.
When V did eventually show up, there was another 'wow' moment. V turned up in a simple white t-shirt and a pair of jeans, completely different to what she wore at the bar and obviously different to her Dorothy costume. In the short period of time that I knew V (including the times I saw her after this night), this was easily the best I'd seen her looking.
I offered her a beer, but she preferred vodka. I poured the drinks and V produced some blow and some grass, which we indulged in and settled back. It's hard to describe how it went. Chatting to V in the bar was easy, though it's hard to get settled in when she had to go off and serve other customers. At my apartment at four thirty in the morning, the conversation was just, well, effortless. V sat on one of the armchairs while I spread out across the sofa and we just chatted. Every now and again, V would be gushing in her praise of how great I was. I'm all for a bit of ego stroking and this was no different.
I can't remember too many times where I've been in a situation with a girl I'm attracted to where I've been at ease enough to simply sit there and chat and yet that's exactly what happened. Maybe that's where I made a mistake.
It was after eight when we called it quits and it was already daylight outside. I was disappointed, of course, because it's not often I'm in that kind of mood and we were swapping a lot of personal information and there was a little idea at the back of my mind that something might have happened.
It didn't. I walked V to the door where I got a great hug and a kiss on the cheek. Before I could do anything else, V grabbed her coat, put on her shoes and left. I don't regret anything that happened (or didn't) that night. It was a great night and the kind I wish would happen a lot more. Part of me thinks that perhaps I should have made a move at some point during the evening/early morning, but I was really enjoying myself too much to even consider it until it was too late.
It was a good reminder of what a good night really is, but a bit depressing that I don't see a lot of nights out these days, never mind the kind of night described above. It's a good memory, though.
It was well after 3 AM when I arrived back in my apartment and it would be fair to say that I was pretty toasted. After all, I'd been drinking pretty constantly since 4 PM the previous day. GFW (a work colleague) and myself had gone for our usual post-work drinks at the local bar. The barmaid, V, liked us. She gave us free drinks, usually. Yes, I know, the bar staff always give free drinks in America if you tip decently enough, but from what I could tell, V went above and beyond with us.
This evening was no exception and by the time GFW and myself left only a few hours later, we had a good buzz on due to beers and vodka cocktails. That evening, I was hosting a poker night at my apartment for the first part anyway, then we were going to see what was on. It was Hallowe'en night, so I think the idea was to see if we could go somewhere a bit fun.
V had already told myself and GFW about a place she was heading to and invited us along if we were interested. We asked her to pop in to our poker game before she went to her own party and said that we'd consider it.
GFW was definitely considering it. For some reason, the assumption was there that V and I had a bit of a spark going on. To be honest, I'm not sure if that was entirely accurate. V was an attractive girl, though. Whether anything was ever on the cards was a matter of speculation. I certainly wasn't convinced (though was always on the lookout). I do think the rest of the guys were more than convinced that it was only a matter of time. I'd hoped that the fact that V hadn't shown up at our poker night for a drink would perhaps make the guys less enthusiastic about V and myself getting together.
When the poker ended around midnight, I was already gone with the best part of a bottle of gin in me. We split into two groups. One set of us went to a local Polish bar while the rest of us tried to find V's “party”. We did eventually find it, due to some single-minded navigation by our driver who took us the wrong way initially.
When we arrived at this party, it was just a bar, albeit quite busy. We met V, who was propped up at one end of the bar, dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and bloody hell, did she look good. I mean... Oh. My. God. She always looked good at our local bar, but she never dressed up. I don't remember her in anything other than floral patterned long dresses that I always thought were too 'old' for her. I never said that, though.
We got chatting to V and found out she was a guest of the guys that owned the bar, a husband and wife team. They offered us free drinks, so we had a few shots and bought a few beers. Then the bar owner came out and offered us hash brownies, which went down a storm. By this stage I was probably about as wrecked as I'd ever been in my entire life and we were already drawing a bit of a crowd. I can't remember why, we weren't doing anything that would draw attention to ourselves at this point – myself and GFW were chatting to V and the other guys were chatting amongst themselves.
Then we got stuck into the helium balloons...
Once we started inhaling the helium and talking in high pitched voices with Irish accents, then we drew a crowd and, dare I say it, livened up the party a little which at that point had been several groups of people all talking within their little groups. A couple of drinks later though and it was time to call it a night. The guys that owned the bar were calling last orders. Myself and the guys were about to go home but V wanted to go elsewhere. Suddenly, despite having made a good impression with the locals, they were concerned that V went home rather than tag along with us, a group of relative strangers. That was fair enough and we called it a night. By this stage it was around 3:15 AM.
I was contemplating a shower back at my apartment around ten minutes after leaving the bar when the phone rang. At that time of the morning, I was expecting it to be someone from home who had mixed up the time difference, but it turned out to be V. Weird. We got into a conversation, but it didn't seem to be anything important. I made a decision. I mentioned to V that it was late, but if she wanted to chat, she was more than welcome to come around to mine for a drink. If not, could we perhaps leave this to another time – meet for a coffee or go for a drink?
Given that V was probably as toasted as I was, her decision was to come for a drink. I gave her my address, cracked open a beer and waited.
It seemed like ages until V arrived. I think, by the watch, it was nearly 45 minutes. That's definitely an age when it's half past three in the morning, you're waiting for a girl that you're interested in and that your mates are telling you is unquestionably interested.
When V did eventually show up, there was another 'wow' moment. V turned up in a simple white t-shirt and a pair of jeans, completely different to what she wore at the bar and obviously different to her Dorothy costume. In the short period of time that I knew V (including the times I saw her after this night), this was easily the best I'd seen her looking.
I offered her a beer, but she preferred vodka. I poured the drinks and V produced some blow and some grass, which we indulged in and settled back. It's hard to describe how it went. Chatting to V in the bar was easy, though it's hard to get settled in when she had to go off and serve other customers. At my apartment at four thirty in the morning, the conversation was just, well, effortless. V sat on one of the armchairs while I spread out across the sofa and we just chatted. Every now and again, V would be gushing in her praise of how great I was. I'm all for a bit of ego stroking and this was no different.
I can't remember too many times where I've been in a situation with a girl I'm attracted to where I've been at ease enough to simply sit there and chat and yet that's exactly what happened. Maybe that's where I made a mistake.
It was after eight when we called it quits and it was already daylight outside. I was disappointed, of course, because it's not often I'm in that kind of mood and we were swapping a lot of personal information and there was a little idea at the back of my mind that something might have happened.
It didn't. I walked V to the door where I got a great hug and a kiss on the cheek. Before I could do anything else, V grabbed her coat, put on her shoes and left. I don't regret anything that happened (or didn't) that night. It was a great night and the kind I wish would happen a lot more. Part of me thinks that perhaps I should have made a move at some point during the evening/early morning, but I was really enjoying myself too much to even consider it until it was too late.
It was a good reminder of what a good night really is, but a bit depressing that I don't see a lot of nights out these days, never mind the kind of night described above. It's a good memory, though.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
AWOL
I know, I've been away for ages. At least, it seems like ages to me. Nothing much has happened since I last posted.
I was a little squiffy coming in from watching the footy last Wednesday, and I'm nearly sure I had something to say. I can't remember what it was though.
I've actually started doing proper work again after 8 weeks of twiddling my thumbs at work. I've pretty much been thrown right in at the deep end, which is not a feeling I like. I like challenges, but throwing me into the middle of the Atlantic and telling me to learn to swim is taking the piss somewhat. I can't wait until I get a bit more knowledge under my belt and can stand on my own two feet a little.
During the weekend, we went out to a Japanese restaurant (I love Oriental food) where AM told me she was pregnant. I always assumed that AM was never interested in kids. I must try and get her for a chat and see what the score is.
I was a little squiffy coming in from watching the footy last Wednesday, and I'm nearly sure I had something to say. I can't remember what it was though.
I've actually started doing proper work again after 8 weeks of twiddling my thumbs at work. I've pretty much been thrown right in at the deep end, which is not a feeling I like. I like challenges, but throwing me into the middle of the Atlantic and telling me to learn to swim is taking the piss somewhat. I can't wait until I get a bit more knowledge under my belt and can stand on my own two feet a little.
During the weekend, we went out to a Japanese restaurant (I love Oriental food) where AM told me she was pregnant. I always assumed that AM was never interested in kids. I must try and get her for a chat and see what the score is.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
...
I'm a bit squiffy so will not hang around much, but have a few things on my mind so I'll post at some later time. Not today though, and definitely not before work tomorrow. Tomorrow night is most likely.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Argh! Fuck it!
My phone's on the fritz. The screen's completely gone. I need to take a trip to my provider's shop this afternoon to sort out a replacement/repair and I need it done ASAP as I'm hoping to be going to Rome in a fortnight.
The actual replacement/repair shouldn't be an issue... the phone's only two months old, but can I get it repaired and back again within two weeks?
The actual replacement/repair shouldn't be an issue... the phone's only two months old, but can I get it repaired and back again within two weeks?
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Sober again!
OK, so it was the usual work's bash last night. It was good fun. It usually is, though I called it a night quite early in the evening.
At the start, it was quite good. Were amongst the first in, which meant a pick of decent seats and no queue at the bar. Halfway through my first drink, I spotted Pretty Blonde coming through the door. After ordering her drink, she grabbed a seat not five feet away from me. I did my best to ignore her, but didn't manage that terribly well and stole the odd glance. There was still a little eye contact, but nowhere near the amounts from previous gatherings.
Sadly, when her friends left at around seven-thirty, she moved downstairs to join another group of co-workers.
Later, we moved onto another bar and had a bit of a surreal moment with a group of young people begging for a cigarette. We ended up in a discussion about music, and it turns out that these kids were fans of Journey, Boston and all that kind of stuff. Maybe it was the booze, but I found this really weird in an amusing kinda way.
I stayed in the next bar for about an hour before leaving. I was simply too full of booze to stay on and was feeling bloated and uncomfortable.
All in all, it was an enjoyable night.
At the start, it was quite good. Were amongst the first in, which meant a pick of decent seats and no queue at the bar. Halfway through my first drink, I spotted Pretty Blonde coming through the door. After ordering her drink, she grabbed a seat not five feet away from me. I did my best to ignore her, but didn't manage that terribly well and stole the odd glance. There was still a little eye contact, but nowhere near the amounts from previous gatherings.
Sadly, when her friends left at around seven-thirty, she moved downstairs to join another group of co-workers.
Later, we moved onto another bar and had a bit of a surreal moment with a group of young people begging for a cigarette. We ended up in a discussion about music, and it turns out that these kids were fans of Journey, Boston and all that kind of stuff. Maybe it was the booze, but I found this really weird in an amusing kinda way.
I stayed in the next bar for about an hour before leaving. I was simply too full of booze to stay on and was feeling bloated and uncomfortable.
All in all, it was an enjoyable night.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Professionally speaking
At long last things are starting to fall into place in work. I've spent all of this year doing absolutely nothing but read and train, much of it is wasted time. today though, we had a seating reshuffle and I'm now sitting much closer to my new team-mates which should help me feel more at home with them.
We're also in the middle of a seven day training course which is quite good, though only covers a small part of what I'll eventually be doing, but next week, once the training course is over, I should actually get into doing some proper work which I'm really looking forward to.
We're also in the middle of a seven day training course which is quite good, though only covers a small part of what I'll eventually be doing, but next week, once the training course is over, I should actually get into doing some proper work which I'm really looking forward to.
The weekend approaches...
... and there's yet another monthly work's bash to attend and inflict further damage to my liver.
They're usually good for a laugh and, yes, I usually end up a little unsteady on my feet. Hurrah!
With the Pretty Blonde thing now looking as if it's pretty much destined to be over long before it began, I'm sure that once I get a few in me, I'll get a bit annoyed before perking up a little later. It's what usually happens when I'm not feeling 100% emotionally, and I think it's fair to say I've not been near it this week.
That's not to say I'm in a bad way this week, just that I keep falling into periods of "meh" that are triggered by seemingly nothing at all. It started on Sunday evening, but has been on and off all week. Even the "meh" periods are more like coming down off a good high than actually being depressed per se.
They're usually good for a laugh and, yes, I usually end up a little unsteady on my feet. Hurrah!
With the Pretty Blonde thing now looking as if it's pretty much destined to be over long before it began, I'm sure that once I get a few in me, I'll get a bit annoyed before perking up a little later. It's what usually happens when I'm not feeling 100% emotionally, and I think it's fair to say I've not been near it this week.
That's not to say I'm in a bad way this week, just that I keep falling into periods of "meh" that are triggered by seemingly nothing at all. It started on Sunday evening, but has been on and off all week. Even the "meh" periods are more like coming down off a good high than actually being depressed per se.
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