Out of the blue, again.

I had a dream last night where I was working, but I can't really explain what the work was. I feel it was like some data analysis for health insurance or something? My boss was someone that actually used to be my boss a few years back. We didn't really see eye-to-eye as she was extremely pedantic about stuff that just made life harder for no real benefit.

I also got paired up with an attractive short brunette woman. I'm convinced this was either Quiet Girl or R. I'm leaning heavily towards it being R. She was being very clingy and I mean that literally - being tactile to the point of not letting go, and the dream was mostly about me trying to get my own space.

It's interesting in that I've not thought about R in... a decade? The last time I do recall thinking about R was when FP and I were in London in September 2014 and took a day trip to Brighton which is where R was living at the time. CAB, too, but that's not relevant to this post. I go and try and find her, but she's never had any social media presence. I doubt that's changed now.

Recollection.

I was browsing some old photos from the online hobby last evening, specifically one of the weekends when people from across the UK got together, drank heavily and chatted. It was the weekend where I met USHW in person for the first time.

It prompted some fond memories, not just of meeting USHW, but meeting a few other people too. That included R. I'd met R before at another of these events and we hit it off, but she showed up specifically to meet me and it was fun seeing her again.

So, yeah, fond memories.

Deja Vu.

I'm thinking about buying a new PC, so I am doing a tidy-up of my personal files. As part of this, I was going through some old photos, and I came across the ones I took in April 2005 when I met friends in London from my online hobby. I met USHW for the first time. R appeared as well, which I think surprised a lot of people. Actually, if I recall correctly, R turned up primarily to see me, which was a journey in itself for her. Thankfully, K had disappeared by that stage. I don't think seeing me getting along well with numerous women would have gone down well with her.

Anyway... I wasn't here to post about my reminiscing about a great weekend. It was to post that a blonde woman who was at the same event really reminded me of Chloe. 

All about K.

One thing that might have been forgotten in the mists of time and temporary insanity (not mine) is that K was quite cute. Well, back when we met for the second time. Yes, I've been browsing old pictures again.

I think K and I met five times in total. The first was when I was leaving the country and it coincided with lots of hobby people meeting in London, and as I was in the area, I decided to join them. We hit it off instantly. As an aside, this was also the first time I met R, with whom I'd already built up a bit of a connection.

If I recall correctly, the meeting with the pictures was the first of that year and well over a year after the first time. It was the first of four times in fairly quick succession. I say "quick", but it was probably April, July, August and October in the same year. And bearing in mind we lived 350 miles apart at that stage, four times in one year is pretty impressive.  

I think she admitted at a later stage that it was the July meeting where she started viewing me as something non-platonic, but all I'd done was accompany her and a friend to a gig, then introduce her and the friend to BR afterwards where we drank heavily into the night, before walking them to their hotel and going our own way. Oh, and then repeating the same thing the next day. There were no moves made nor any actions that could be misconstrued, in my opinion. I wasn't leading her on.

August was the one where we ended up having sex, and the October one was, I think, primarily to make sure nothing happened between me and another girl who came to visit.

The final time would have been a few months after that again, the infamous gathering where I met F for the first time, K was determined to "nail me" and she refused to listen to what I had to say. Actually, strike that. That wasn't the last time I met K. She did show up briefly to another gathering where I met USHW for the first time, and R again, too.

Dreams.

Another barely remembered dream, from last night: I'd won a decent amount of money on the lottery. Roughly £5 million and was wondering what to do with my winnings. It had been deposited into my bank account so I could look at the balance on my phone and see the money there.

I'd spoken to family, to let them know they were taken care of and was out walking with KfW2, trying to figure out how to share the news when, on separate occasions, R and Quiet Girl came up and were extremely tactile with me, but in a very clear, platonic way. Then they would chat, and go on their way.

I woke up before I got to confess my good fortune to KfW2.

However, it was one of those powerful dreams where it takes a few seconds to sink in that it was a dream, and so I was quite disappointed when it dawned on me that I wasn't worth five million pounds. Bah.

What a tangled web we weave.

Yesterday, something triggered a quite powerful memory of a weekend I spent in Glasgow roughly fifteen years ago. It was a gathering of a group of people from the online hobby that I was involved in at the time.

The personal highlight was meeting F for the first time. We'd swapped messages and emails and had hit it off, so we were both looking forward to meeting in person.

And we had a brilliant weekend. We did hit it off in person, just as much as we had done online, if not more. We probably would have been inseparable all weekend, if it had not been for two small problems: F's bit-on-the-side, and K.

F and her bit-on-the-side had arrived in town a full 24 hours prior to anyone else, so had plenty of time to do whatever it is that people do. When everyone else had arrived on the Friday, we adjourned to a bar where F and I managed to find ourselves sat beside each other, and began to chat. Accidentally, we kinda shut ourselves off from everyone else.

A while later, maybe an hour or so, F's bit on the side disappeared in a bad mood. One of the other girls followed him out to see if he was OK. She returned shortly and spoke to F. He was in a bad way. Crying. Apparently I was "hogging" F and he wasn't happy about it. Apparently he'd been firing dirty looks my way for ages, but I was so engrossed in convo with F that neither of us had noticed. F sighed and got up to leave.

"Where you going?"

"To see the BotS"

"Fuck him. He's just being childish, clingy and immature. There are plenty of people here he can talk to."

"No, I have to go." She sighed. "You are right, though."

F's bit-on-the-side was always a weird sort. He'd set up a website to support the community side of the online hobby, but then never wanted to do anything with it - to evolve it or let it be something more. USHW would sometimes voice her frustrations at his inability to do anything or make decisions. What I didn't know at the time was that the rumour mill had been in full flow and there had been talk that F and I were having an affair, which was laughable as we'd never even met. This had fed the BotS's paranoia and also K's.

F walked off. I looked around the table. K was furious. Oh dear.

A few months prior to this weekend, K and some other hobbyists were in my hometown. I got dragged out to see them, somewhat against my wishes, and I ended up having sex with K at the end of the night. K had driven this - she had jumped me for a snog, she was the one who put sex on the table and at no time prior to this had she shown any sign of any kind of attraction.

A few days later, she started talking about relationships... I was refusing to get involved, for all manner of reasons. She simply wasn't someone I saw as girlfriend material. She was too serious, for starters, with little self-awareness. There was distance to consider, as well. I wasn't even lying to her when I said this. Strangely, she tried arguing these points as if it was something logical that she could turn around. This was a shame. We had actually been friends to this point. If she'd suggested some kind of FwB arrangement or hadn't been so full on with the "we should start a relationship" nonsense, we might have slept together again. Or maybe that's something we should have done prior to her going 100 mph for a relationship.

What I didn't really realise was that she was trying to get in with a couple of women that I was publicly friendly with in the hobby circle - F, R and another girl. R herself is private, so K suddenly appearing in her inbox being friendly scared her off. I knew nothing of the K and F thing for a while until F confessed to me one day. K had admitted to F that we'd had sex, though I'd said nothing and F had been trying to coax a confession out of me to no avail.

So... K was furious that I'd been talking to F (and presumably ignoring her). If I am being honest, I did have half a mind on seeing if I could bed K that weekend. She was still talking (behind my back) about relationships though. She was telling F that I wanted to be with her, but wasn't going to commit. I was telling F that I'd have sex with K again, but she really wasn't my type for a relationship and it would need to be casual.

F eventually talked BotS round and he returned, eyes puffy and red. I spent the entire weekend taking the piss out of him (much to F's delight) and avoiding being left alone with K.

On the last day, F asked if I would go and speak to K (I later found out this was actually K's request and F was just the messenger). She was in her room. I knocked, she answered, and invited me in.

She started the whole relationship talk again. I told her that it was completely out of the question and I didn't know where she was getting the idea from that this was something I was considering or would consider. Obviously, this wasn't said as bluntly as reported above, but I probably should have. Bear in mind that I'd deliberately distanced myself from K at this weekend, barely talking to her, never mind trying anything sexual.

I left, went back to the hotel lobby, collected my bag, gave F a quick update and a hug and left. I winked at BotS too, just for kicks. The journey home was uneventful. A few days later, F was in touch. Apparently, after I'd left, K had come down and chatted to F.

She'd shared that we'd spoken, told F what I'd said and then followed that with "I don't believe him. He does want a relationship with me, he's just scared of commitment."

I believe at that point F told K to "seriously get a grip" and that she was being "delusional" and suggested if I'd been interested, I'd have tried something that weekend. While I wasn't against the idea of sleeping with K again, I wasn't prepared to feed her delusions or lead her on just for sex. Though, it would have ticked a Bucket List item, had we screwed.

K never mentioned a relationship ever again... but that was mainly down to me keeping my distance from her, I think. But she did blame me for our friendship falling apart, about 18 months later.

Ring ring.

A part of me half-expected G to be in contact today. It was the anniversary this weekend of his father passing away, and he usually comes home for that. I was out of town five years ago when this happened. As it was, I was actually meant to be meeting G, along with FP (who was travelling with me). We ended up in Brighton that weekend. I was keeping an eye out for CAB and R, both of whom are based in Brighton these days, I think. (I have no idea how CAB would react to bumping into me on the street, though.) And I do have this habit of bumping into people I know when I travel over to London.

There's been no sign of G today though. I was busy doing some stuff about the house today, so this thought hadn't crossed my mind until a few minutes go.

He still might be in touch, if he's in town. G can be the master of late phone calls at times.

Communication breakdown.

One of the main topics of conversation I have with USHW is my communication problems. I've also posted here on numerous occasions about how I want to be able to talk to people - KfW2, QC2, CH etc. but I often don't do it because a related topic never comes up in the conversation and I don't have the confidence or skills to manage the conversation. I say "confidence" but I think it's that I tell myself that they don't want to hear whatever is troubling me. Deep down, I know that's not true, but during the face to face chats I have with various people, that's how I feel.

While I don't like raising the subjects myself, I've often said that I'll pretty much answer ANY question. And I will, regardless of subject. It takes a lot to offend me.

I don't have this issue online. If I'm talking to USHW, R, E, F etc. or posting here, then these concerns never arise. I don't know why it's easier for me to communicate and share from behind a keyboard and screen than it is in actual, real-life contact. Sometimes, my theory is that it's habit. Since I started university and found out about IRC chatrooms, I've made a lot of friends online. I've had online-only hobbies and been a member of numerous forums. All of these have meant keyboard and mouse communication to begin with. When I eventually met some of these people online, the ice had been broken, secrets shared and it was natural to carry on, face to face.

It's also habit with regards to my family... we've never been close and never really shared too much, emotionally. I was a slow starter in the world, so even during my formative years, there was little to talk about (plus there's an unanswered question about possible autism). I don't recall, for example, my sister asking too many questions about my personal life. The closest we got was my breakup with FA2 which hit me pretty hard at the time, though I was well into my twenties at the time.

There was dating, puberty and all that, but nothing serious until I was well into my twenties. So, even now, it's not something that's natural to me. I know that I want to do it. I know that it's healthy to do it, but often, when it comes to the crunch, I don't take the opportunities when they're presented to me, and then regret that afterwards. That's something I really do need to change about myself.

Hanging on the telephone.

Despite sitting in last night when the weather was really nice, I ended up having a good time. I was chatting on and off with USHW, but more importantly, I was on Skype with both R (via IM) and E (video chat).

It was nice to actually chat to E. I think it's been nearly a year since we had a proper conversation and the hour we managed to grab meant a lot to me.

My conversations with R are different, but usually a good laugh. She was asking about my online dating adventures and especially CB, and while I don't mind talking about it, it (once again) brought to light how rubbish GB is. R and I aren't particularly close, we don't chat regularly but yet she still manages to show more interest in my life than GB.

I don't want to focus on the negative though. It was really nice to be able to sit down and have those conversations with both women. I should make more of an effort to keep in touch, especially with E.

More "oh dear".

There's not a day goes past where KfW2 doesn't ask if I've had any contact on Plenty of Fish. As it happens, two women have been in contact. Both of their opening messages were simply "Hey" and a smiley face.

I've replied, because I am polite and because it bugs me when you don't even get the courtesy of a "no thanks", but I've no intention of meeting either of them and I don't want to waste their time by giving them cause to think that I might. For the record, I haven't done either of those - after swapping a few messages, I've effectively ended the conversation.

KfW2 is giving me cause for concern though. She wants me to initiate conversations with people on the dating sites and has set me a "goal" of two people this week. My problem, as I've kinda explained above, is that unless I actually want to meet someone, I don't feel right in starting a conversation I know I'll be ending. I don't want to waste anyone's time. As well as that, if there isn't a combo of a nice profile picture and and interesting profile, then I struggle with motivation of actually sending a message.

My own experiences from online dating a few years ago have only reinforced my attitude towards this. In fact, my theory is that a bit more respect and common decency around any online dating website would greatly improve its success. While I have no qualms about dipping my toes back in, and despite some reticence (none of my pictures are on display yet), I think I can manage my expectations better this time around.

Actually sending the messages once these boxes are ticked isn't an issue. I've never had any issues in communicating with people online - I'm still in contact with R, USHW, A, F and K and my friendship with those people has been 99% online (that's because of geography, not an actual choice).

I've met KfW2's goal already - I've found a couple of cute looking, interesting women and sent initial messages. I've not had any reply as of yet, nor do I expect one (see: managing my expectations).

But now, KfW2 has slightly changed her tune. One girl who initiated contact with has a reasonably interesting profile. She's not unattractive (KfW2 thinks she's really pretty), but I'm not feeling any connection. I think that KfW2 has started hinting that I suggest meeting up with her.

KfW2 already knows that I am choosy and having gone through hundreds of profiles, you can count the number who I'd consider contacting on the fingers and thumbs of two hands.

I need to sit down and explain things to KfW2 and I've been planning to do it for the past few days, but opportunities for privacy are few and far between in work. I need to tell her (or she needs to know) that talking to people online is not my problem... my problem is twofold:

• Meeting people that interest me romantically/sexually (I could go on and on about CB, but the reality is, she's the only one I can remember in the past few years, but I've already mentioned this and my annoyance with GB to KfW2).
• Talking to these people (KfW2 knows all about this, hence this whole operation)

I'm going to try and get this sorted ASAP. I don't want KfW2 getting ideas about meeting these random people I'm supposedly messaging.

Gurls

I was engaging with a bit of banter with JB today. You might even argue that it crossed into flirting territory, briefly. One thing I've realised over the years of talking to A, USHW, R etc. that people somehow find it easy to open up to me and JB is no exception. She ended up being very frank today about some things and I think she even surprised herself at the same time. 

At the same time, I learned that JB is like K when it comes to sex. JB doesn't do a lot of sleeping around. She doesn't do any sleeping around, in fact. I'm always confused by this. We live in an age where this is not the norm any more, so JB's (and K's to a certain extent) point of view is maybe a tad old fashioned. JB was talking about how she didn't want an object of her affection to think she was bringing blokes back to hers from the pub, but I don't think they'd be too worried. 

K was the same. She initiated sex with me and then afterwards tried to force start a relationship which I absolutely resisted. Pity... I wouldn't have minded tapping that a few more times. I was more after a fuck buddy kind of scenario with K, but it was never going to work for her. She was too emotionally engaged rather than just giving in to lust every now and again. 

I tend to compare people like JB and K with FA2, who did sleep with me long before we became an item. I don't know why... maybe because FA2 is an example where you can have sex outside of a relationship without sleeping around per se. Or maybe FA2 was playing the long game and she wanted a relationship from the start, but was happier waiting for me to come to the same conclusion?

Ah well. While I can get them to talk, I still don't understand them.

Still pondering.

So, I think that the people I trust enough to know about the RB thing are fully clued in and most have given their advice on the matter... only AM and USHW have yet to say anything.

Most of the advice has been reasonably consistent - give her some time to get to know me and trust me, but make it clear that while I respect her decision, that I don't agree with it and that I want to be more than friends. [I'm still hoping that RB has had a chance to sit down and think this through and chatted to her mates. If she is romantically keen (and she is), then there is always a possibility that her decision can change.] Obviously, we don't discuss that immediately, but it's something we will have to talk about in a while, assuming that we do continue to see each other. I tend to be pessimistic about these things, but vocalising it has helped. Talking to QC2 in person and E on the phone has really helped, but this will fade in a few days' time if there are no further developments and if I haven't talked it over with anyone.

This is, I think, going to be weird. Effectively, it will be dating without the supposed romantic/sexual conclusion. We're still pretty much strangers and our next group of meetings will continue where the date left off with us learning about each other... less about facts (our histories, likes and dislikes) and more about personalities and with less kissing. No kissing, actually.

Despite the fact that it was left that she wouldn't call until next week, I'm kinda hoping (with an element of a gut feeling) that she'll be in contact today. It would be nice if she were, but we'll see.

Meh.

My own emotions have been all over the place this week. I was angry and frustrated at the start of the week, with an element of confusion. After chatting to QC2 and R, the anger and frustration still remained to a certain extent, but I was more optimistic that things would work out the way I wanted them to. That's lessened somewhat, and doubt and pessimism is starting to creep in.

Things will remain completely confusing until RB gets in contact and we meet. We might talk about this at our next meeting, but I think that's doubtful. I will have to bring this up at some point though.

The good thing is that she is keen on me (or at least I believe that she is based on her actions), so it just remains to see what this mental block is and how we can put that to bed.

I had kinda hoped she'd have been in contact, even if it was just a brief text message, but she hasn't. I didn't take QC2's advice and contact RB as I had nothing to say and while I'm happy to let her know that I am still interested in her beyond friendship, I don't want to appear pushy.

Yay!

Now someone else is fully clued up on the RB saga as I spent a very enjoyable few hours in the company of QC2.

QC2 laughed, but not maliciously. She knows that my track record, and to a certain extent luck, with women is really poor.

QC2's opinion is similar to the other advice I've taken from A and R: play it cool for now, give RB a chance to get to know me but to make it clear soon-ish that I want things to develop.

The reasons for her behaviour are still completely unclear, and realistically could be anything, but having spoken to QC2, we're in agreement that the most likely scenario is something less serious such as a boyfriend that cheated on her or recently (ish) coming out of a long term relationship or having a boyfriend that was involved with someone else (slightly different to the first reason).

I still can't say for sure and my main hope still lies with RB fuzzing her words at the weekend and rather than stopping dating completely, hopefully she just needs to draw breath, keep things slow for a while and then see what will happen. QC2 seems to agree that this is what's going on, at least to the best of her knowledge as she can only go by my telling of events and the information I've given (which is most of it, to be fair).

Sigh.

The RB thing has been annoying me. While I wouldn't say I've been obsessive about it, I have found it hard to put it out of my mind and just deal with it if/when she calls (as you can tell from the amount of posts on the subject over the past two weeks). I've been keeping a careful eye on the phone since the earliest point when she could have received the note (last Wednesday night) at times where I think she might call - lunchtimes, during the evening after tea-time etc. even though I don't get a lot of calls on my mobile and don't usually pay it a lot of attention unless I'm actually using it myself.

Is it a big thing? For most people, probably not. For me? Possibly. As I am quite picky when it comes to those I take on as friends, girlfriends etc. getting in contact with RB was a big step for me. The decision to make contact and the actual act of getting the note out are minor compared to the fact she is someone I'd like to see again and that I've been pro-active in trying to do so. The ambiguity over what this might turn in to if she does call is still there. RB is a very attractive, sexy girl (or rather, I remember her being a very attractive and very sexy girl... I have a terrible memory for faces) and there's no doubt that I am attracted to her romantically/sexually a little (though not to the same extent as I was with Kiwi Girl, for example) but not enough (in my own opinion) that I should be this focussed on waiting for her call, especially when it could as easily go down the platonic route as the romantic one.

Logically, I think I know the time has passed for her to call. However, that doesn't stop me clutching at straws and thinking that, for example, the rules of the game mean she might not be in contact until up to a week after she got my details (from a conversation with R) which gives her until Wednesday or Thursday or that there's no hard and fast rule about contact and she might be considering her options (from seperate conversations with A and USHW) or that she might be waiting to make arrangements for the weekend which gives her until Thursday to actually call. Who knows where that last one came from?

I guess I invested more in this than I originally thought.

Malaise.

What has happened over the past week or so is that I've entered another 'unhappy' phase. I don't know if this is a direct response to hooking up with RB and subsequent impatient/hanging around waiting for a call or if this is just the normal cycle that I fall in to every now and again. However, I'd say that I am currently unhappy being single, that I am unhappy living at home and that my social life could be better (it's a nice day outside and I wish people were available to go out and do stuff rather than me sitting on my bed typing this up). I think the social and relationship issues might be inter-related actually. I think what it might be is simply a desire to be more social. Today, for example, I could be out at a cafe with friends or a girlfriend, chatting and generally chilling. This is what frustrates me most, I think. I like meeting up with people to chat, but that's been difficult over the past few years as more and more people settle down to start families and stuff.

There are fewer people around on MSN/Facebook too, so it's not as if there's a ready-made solution on the internet. People just move on and that's understandable. I snatch the odd conversation with R or A or USHW from time to time, but they're rarely online for various reasons.

The living situation is an ongoing thing... it's always there at the back of my mind, but when small apartments in reasonable areas of the city are going for at least £175,000, I'm never going to be able to afford that. That's a mortgage of about £1000 per month, which is way beyond my means. As I've said before, I don't want to rent, at least not in this city. Renting is dead money, unless there are extenuating circumstances. The only way I'd rent is if I knew the people I were renting with... a group of friends or (going back to the above point), a girlfriend.

Ho hum. I've texted FP to ask if he fancies a drink tonight. Typical form - he's being non-committal. "Maybe" is his reply. Thanks for making a decision, FP.

Boys and Girls

I was at my sister's house today and my brother-in-law was asking if I'd heard from RB. I replied in the negative and said that if I hadn't heard by tomorrow night, that I'd have to assume she's simply not interested.

However, when telling the tale to R over MSN earlier today, she was of the opinion that it was futile waiting for contact over the past three days and it's only now that the window period is open for contact. She reckons that women will wait between three days and a week before contact. A week? Bloody hell!

The blokes seemed to agree with me... after all she's had my phone number for three days. The girls, however, are the opposite. Only now can I realistically expect a call/text.

I don't understand women.

Meh

Late last week I sent out my presentation. It sounds quite formal, but it wasn't. It was just a collection of photos from my travels with a couple of extra bits and pieces to give it a bit of personality and to stop it from being too dry, as seeing someone else's holiday snaps tends to be. The initial email list was quite extensive and, thankfully, I didn't leave too many people off of it and I resolved my dilemma by sending it to V and one or two other people that are on the periphery of my social circle.

I'm kind of a bit lost now. I'm awaiting feedback from these people, definitely some comments and I'd imagine (from my female friends) a lot of questions. USHW got a sneak preview and was complimentary and I'd imagine she might have something to say when she gets a chance to sit down and have a proper look. The only people I know for certain that have looked at it otherwise are BW, FP and R. FP knows all the news there is to tell from my time away, but his comments (sarcastic comments) were appreciated nonetheless. BW is clueless as usual and R was appreciative without being too verbose, but that's R for you. At least she had the decency to reply with comments!

Maybe I'm being too impatient. There are hundreds of photos to get through, with associated comments and other stuff, which is time consuming. Yes, I think I'm being too impatient...

This time, exactly two years ago...

At this time, exactly two years ago (22:45), I was in a pub in London with a group of people from an online hobby of mine. Amongst the group were K, R and USHW. I don't believe that I ever posted in any detail about what happened that weekend.

My relationship with K has been weird. I met her through an online hobby and we started chatting on MSN. We met a few times, but one weekend she was in my home town, kind of against my wishes because I didn't have the time or money to spend with her (and others). They didn't take 'no' for an answer though and instead of passing through as I had asked, they all turned up for a night out. I went out with them for a few hours and had a good time. At the end of the night, as I left K and the crowd back to their hostel, K jumped on me for a snog, which must have been comical because she was around the 5-foot mark. Anyway, we ended up shagging and it was K who suggested it. Mental note to self: shagging short people in public is not that enjoyable.

A few days later, K is demanding a phone call. So, I acquiesce and I call. K's all talk of starting a proper, romantic relationship. Jeez. We'd had some frank conversations about life, but K had never, ever mentioned that she equated sex to relationships. I had to pad about, telling her about the distance involved, how I didn't like starting relationships from a distance and stuff. It wasn't a fib per se, but ultimately, I simply didn't want a relationship with K. I don't think it would have worked out; we're two completely different people and while I don't think you need to match your partner in a relationship, I think you have to complement each other, which K and I didn't do. I also think it was crap that K initiated the sex with her own point of view/beliefs and then later tried to force that upon me.

K effectively turned into a bunny boiler after that. She turned up uninvited at a later date, despite being told not to (a mutual friend was in town), and then she wondered why I was quiet for the few days she was here. Honestly. Eventually, it was all put to bed when I went to Scotland for a weekend to see my friend, F. Or so I thought. Rumours were floating around the hobby website about the same time as my original dalliance with K that F and I were having an affair. That was hilarious because, at that point, F and I had never even met. We were friends, though. That was enough for K to do some digging of her own and go off to befriend F. When F and I eventually met, we hit it off extremely well and are close friends to this day.

R, as I may have stated before, is simply gorgeous, but she's like my little sister (and about twelve years my junior, if that makes any difference). She turned up, not really knowing anyone apart from myself and SIW, a man that most women seemed to regard as a little bit weird. We had been in the pub for a few hours before R turned up, and I'd love to have known what people were thinking. The problem with these kinds of events is that you don't get to talk to as many people for as long as you'd like, and R was one of the people I wished I'd spent more time with, the other being LC, a woman whose presence was one of the main reasons I turned up.

Towards the end of the night, I walked R from the pub to the tube station. LC and her friend, who were also on their way home turned up just in time to see me hoisting R over my shoulder and laughing. I was a little drunk, but this was platonic mucking about. Again, nothing was ever said about the situation. LC can keep a secret, so the fact that no one else knows about that incident is no surprise. I am surprised that there wasn't a little teasing from LC, though. We may only have met once, but there was definitely enough there to know that we could (and probably would) be good friends if we saw more of each other.

Last, but not least, USHW. By this time, two years ago, we'd left the pub and were sitting in my/our hotel room sipping some kind of vodka drinky things with one of the other revellers. I've definitely mentioned before about USHW. Sharing a bed with a woman for an entire weekend is always a good idea, even if no shenanigans are going on. The sexual tension did bubble under the surface for the entire weekend, for both parties, I think. All it would have taken was for one person to have made any kind of first move and things might well have been very different, both at the time and during events since. I was happy doing nothing and letting USHW call the shots, though. The spark that we'd had chatting on MSN did translate to real life, which was brilliant. I'm not sure we'll ever meet again, but the weekend was thoroughly enjoyable for her presence.

There were tonnes of other people who turned up and who were good company, but R, LC and USHW were the three people whose presence made my mind up to attend. It was never clear-cut, though. R only turned up because I was there. USHW ran into many obstacles before she was able to confirm her presence, but if none of those three had turned up, I wouldn't have made any effort nor saved the cash that a weekend in London requires.

Booze!

This weekend is meeting up with people weekend. That means that I should, hopefully, get to meet USHW. A while ago, it looked like this was going to be a disaster... I'd booked the hotel and my travel and was looking forward to this, but apart from USHW and myself, only fucktards had actually said they were showing up. Now, with only a few days left, the fucktards have cried off and decent, interesting people are going to show up. Even R has said she might actually attend, which would be great.