Home is...

 CC is buying a new house. She's been toying with the idea for a while, mainly due to her neighbour being a twat. However, the lockdown, her mental health and a couple of other factors have made this a priority recently. Plus, she has started to insist on being close to her parents.

Now, it's not like she lives far away. Google Maps reckons you can get from her house to her parents in less than 8 minutes.

Somewhat irrationally, this has annoyed me. I think if she had her way, she'd live next door to her parents. She's missing out on a LOAD of great houses because of this one factor that's almost a deal breaker. It had to be within 5 minutes of her parents and she wouldn't hear otherwise.

I think Stalky Guy is the same. He's a 43 year old man who still lives at home with his parents (and there's a lot more that can be said about him to be honest if you want to get into a conversation about a man who has real issues). Each time he's teased about living at home and he does look at the local property web sites, he only browses houses within a few streets of his own parents.

Status Update: Week 22

 Magic Number: 229.0

Despite the takeaways, snacking, lack of exercise and all the other stuff I mentioned in the last post on this subject, I dropped 1 lb.

229 is still far too high, but I have zero motivation to do anything at the moment.

Dreams

I had a dream last night that featured QC2 and KfW2 as the same person. The person in question had suddenly decided to emigrate to somewhere far away - Australia or New Zealand. And my whole dream was based around their decision, their preparation to move and my emotional turmoil from that.

While the person in question was mainly KfW2, she would occasionally be QC2 for reasons I don't really understand.

This carried over into my awakening and has been troubling me since, strangely. I have had other recent (with the past few weeks) dreams where people have emigrated, but none that has impacted me when I've woken up.

Status Update: Week 21

I did weigh myself on Monday but I didn't get a chance to sit down and blog about it. 

Magic number: 230.1 lbs

The past few weeks have been a write-off in even thinking about calorie counting or portion management or even exercise.

I'm not particularly happy, I'm a little stressed with the new work stuff going on and with the ongoing lockdown measures put in place. Socially speaking, I can't remember the last time I saw someone who wasn't family. Nerdy Girl, I think. I'm also bored, which doesn't help, either.

I really should make more effort at this, but I'm mentally exhausted and I feel that the longer I'm isolated, the more I'm withdrawing. I don't think I left the house at all last week. That's clearly not healthy in any way.

Dream a little dream... or two.

 It was a night of broken, poor quality sleep. I'm shattered today. However, I do remember two distinct dreams.

In the first, I was part of The Avengers. I wasn't a superhero, just an ordinary joe but an integral, close part of the team and helping out. So, too, was Quiet Girl. And we went on adventures with Iron Man, Thor, Captain America etc. for what seemed to be weeks on end, kicking bad guy ass and generally being heroes until suddenly it was all over. Someone called "CUT!" and it was no longer "real". It was a film and The Avengers were mere actors, though neither QG nor I were actors and were thoroughly confused.

The second was much more sexual and featured, of all people, QC3. Twenty years ago, I wanted to sleep with QC3 a LOT. She was flaky and never really girlfriend material but oozed sexiness (IMO). In this dream, I was elsewhere in the UK where QC3 is currently living and we did the same dance that we did twenty years ago (I can't remember if I blogged about this before, but we really should have slept together), though this time we did end up having sex. Well,. I presume we did. I woke up as she led me towards her bedroom, but that's kinda where the dream was going, I think.

Pondering

 There's a real autumn feel about today. It's bright and sunny, though it's cool rather than warm and even at this stage, the shadows are noticeably longer than they have been. It'll be winter soon, dark mornings, dark evenings. With the pandemic and the lockdown and social distancing, it'll be even more difficult to leave the house.

I haven't seen anyone in weeks. I think the walk with Nerdy Girl was the last time I actually saw someone who wasn't immediate family (shop workers don't count). Even KfW2 has been conspicuous with her absence. She had visited a few times back in June, but the last I saw of her was mid-July. We have spoken in work and via phone calls, but it's been less frequent recently.

Suffice to say, while I'm not a sun worshipper, I much prefer summer to winter.

Here we go again.

 There's not much to say apart from the fact that I'm binging Community again. I think I must do this at least once a year. So let the Alison Brie love-fest BEGIN!

Status Update: Week 20

 Oh dear.

Magic n umber: 231.4 lbs

That's now the heaviest I've ever been.

Knowing me, knowing you.

What's your public internet presence like?

If I type my name into Google or another search engine, there are only two results that apply to me - my Facebook account and my LinkedIn account. Images search return no images of me. I do make a point of having a minimal online presence under my real name, though.

There do seem to be a lot of people who share my name (and while I would say my name was out of the ordinary, I also wouldn't describe it as being unusual).

Recruitment Bird's name brings back loads relating to her, but understandable given her career (and it is mostly career-related). KfW2 returns nothing, though her name is quite common. FP returns a lot of results, though none of them seem to relate to him, which is kinda weird given that he is quite high profile. There are a couple of images. CAB returns some results, though they're all professional.

This train of thought was provoked by finding a cute girl on Tinder with what I thought was a distinctive surname. A quick Google search returns a news story about an air-rage incident. Oh dear.

Luckily, there's nothing like that for someone to find, should they do a search on me.

Dreams.

Another dream - this time featuring my Dad, FA2, un-named co-workers and a trip to America. Ultimately, this ended when I realised that we had missed our flight home.

I've not thought about FA2 in ages, and in this dream, we were interacting normally... closely actually... as proper friends rather than exes.

Ooh!

 Just realised that my last post was posted on 9:09 on 09/09.

Hah!

Brought a smile to my face if nothing else.

“That’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry.”

 The post title is a quote from Bruce Banner in The Avengers.

Every now and again, it pops into my head, not because it's an overly memorable line (I think), but because I'm reminded of the paraphrased version that I once said, some years ago, to KfW2 when I was in a particularly melancholy mood, driven by loneliness.

She had asked how I was doing.

"Not so good. Feeling a bit low."

KfW2 queried that.

"Lonely, mainly. Couple of other things, but mainly lonely"

She asked if anything had brought it on this time.

"This time? I'm lonely nearly all the time. It's just that some days are better than others."

It was talked through, but it was never mentioned again. We have spoken about loneliness, but never that particular comment.

So, yeah, a bit of a funk at the moment. The lockdown (which I'm still following to a certain extent) and the pandemic are really reinforcing the whole loneliness thing.

Status Update: Week 19

 Did the weigh-in according to schedule, but I didn't get the time to log on and record it: 230.6 lbs

Back slapping.

Somewhat last minute, but I met up with Nerdy Girl today and we did another walk and chat. Two hours and eight miles later and my feet are killing me.

Eight miles!

Roughly speaking - 125 calories per mile is about 1000 calories burned.

I also feel rough - stiff, sore feet though there is a little of that post-exercise glow. Not as much as you'd get from a more energetic workout.

But EIGHT MILES!

Am a little proud of myself. I need to be doing something like that more regularly though.

Status Update: Week 18

Magic Number: 228.9 lbs

I was off yesterday, so completely forgot to weigh-in