Green with envy?

With it being the day after Paddy's Day, Facebook is full of memories of past days. It's the women who stand out: Foreign Girl was 11 years ago. She was great fun. 15 years ago there was a near miss with a girl that I regularly saw on Plenty of Fish who ticked a lot of boxes: tall, nice figure, brunette. I didn't talk to her, and I can't remember if I even tried. On the same day, one of RB's friends came out because MF was out. She was cute in a Joanna Garcia Swisher kinda way. And there are pics of KfW2, who inadvertently wore a thin black top that didn't hide her blue bra when the flash went off.

It's been years since I went out for Paddy's Day, but I don't recall there ever being a bad day out. Even the day where it was only KfW2 and I and she was pregnant was a great day out.

Oh, hello again!

Guess who showed up on Bumble (Tinder-like dating app) earlier? Not Wet Leg girl... sadly nothing there from her past few appearances. No, it's my sister's university friend! This is the first I've seen her on the dating apps in ages. Possibly this year.

I have, of course, swiped right. Though this is an exercise in futility, isn't it? I've swiped right on her every time I've seen her with no positive outcome.

A man can hope though, right?

Disclaimer: I've no idea what I would do if we actually matched. I've mentioned before that I am private. The fact that I'd be on a date with someone that I share mutual friends could be weird to me. RB did admit during one of our evenings that she knew MF and GWTNA, though that didn't put me off. MF and GWTNA weren't close friends though. Would it be different if it was family? A close friend?

People who know people.

A friend of MF's posted on Facebook. It's MF's birthday today. I can't remember if I'm mentioned this particular friend before, though I'd be surprised if I didn't. Firstly, she reminds me of celebrity and SSCW lookalike Joanna Garcia Swisher.

Secondly, as a friend of MF, she was (possibly still is) a friend of Recruitment Bird. Remember her?

I only met her a few times, but she seemed really nice. And semi-coincidental, from being in the office yesterday, I was chatting to SSCW for a little while.

Random access memory.

For some reason, it popped into my head that tonight it's the 10th anniversary of seeing CB in the flesh (in CB Pub) for the second time. I spent ages with GM, GB and MF, trying to come up with a plan for approaching her, but we never came to a solution. By the time I had the courage to just go and talk to her, I was horrendously drunk, and I had my hands full with a pretty redhead.

While I don't often do regrets, or big regrets, I have to say that missing both chances of chatting to CB (on two consecutive New Year's Eves) is probably one of them.

Six Degrees.

It's been a while since I posted about how small the place is where I live. Not small, geographically, but socially. The amount of times I see people who are friends of friends who share other friends, or I spot someone on something like Tinder who goes on to be a friend of a friend. There are loads of examples that I've posted about before: CB with MFF, QC2 with MMBF, RB and GWTNA/MF, to name but a few.

And now I add another. Another woman on Tinder is a friend of a friend.

I think I've posted about the friend before... fit, attractive blonde girl from school. We've always had a bit of banter between us, but our paths rarely cross these days, mainly due to the fact she lives in Scotland somewhere. Or maybe the north of England.

Regardless, she posted a 'happy birthday' message to a friend of hers who has, reasonably frequently, popped up on my Tinder feed, though I don't remember seeing her recently to be honest.

Er... and that's about it really.

Reminiscing.

Many years ago, a new girl joined our team in work. Cute, brunette, petite.

On a work night out, as we were leaving the restaurant, I motioned her to walk in front of me.

"What a gentleman you are!" she declared.

"Even if I told you that I only did that so I can see if you have a nice ass?"

She laughed over her shoulder and swayed her hips. She did have a nice ass.

We got along well enough, but she moved on to other opportunities a short time later.

Years later, on our first (only) proper date, RB asked if I knew her. It turned out that RB and I used to work for the same company, at the same time, albeit only for a few months before RB went for a career change into, well, recruitment. RB, MF and the girl with the nice ass had all attended college together and started on the same day, but RB and GWTNA had fallen out. It's not surprising. GWTNA was pretty headstrong, as was RB come to think of it. 

In fact, GWTNA and KFW later fell out (over GM), and wrongly in my opinion as GWTNA was dating someone else at the time, but screwing GM on the side. I don't know the exact details of why GWTNA and KFW fell out. I don't think KFW and GM ever hooked up. 

RB never explained why she had stopped being friends with GWTNA, but both of them are, as they say, bonkers.

I'd forgotten all about GWTNA's relationship with RB until she popped up on Facebook today in pictures with her kids and her husband... the guy she cheated on with GM.

Oh dear.

For the third time in a month, CH featured in a dream I had last night. This one is different to the previous two, in that it was very much child-friendly.

However, all it did was remind me that the core of a very good friendship was thrown away. The dream pretty much consisted of CH coming to my desk in work, asking after various mutual friends. I would point them out to CH and she would trot over and engage with them before disappearing back to wherever she came from. It happened with people like KfW2, MF and OK, to name a few.

Suffice to say, I woke this morning tired (sleep has been an issue over the past week or so) and a little sad.

My friendship with CH would always have been halted by her boundaries and priorities, and it would never have been anything like my friendship with KfW2 (though I maintain our affection for each other meant it could have) but it was still sad that it ended and that it ended in the manner it did.

Oh dear.

A work colleague is getting married this weekend and GB, CH, MF and MFF (amongst others) are away to help her celebrate. GB has just posted some photos on Facebook and those of CH are really not doing her justice at all.

I actually think she's very pretty in the flesh, but often photos really don't do her justice.

Not that I'm ever going to say that to her.

Surprise!

BR sent a text yesterday letting me know that he was in town. Did I fancy meeting for a few drinks? You bet I did! I already had tentative plans to go out with FP anyway. We headed out slightly earlier than usual and had a few drinks. While browsing Facebook, we found out that MM and MMBF were out and about as well, so we arranged to meet.

MM called me to say that MMBF had gone home, but we persuaded MM to stay out a little longer. In the bar, before FP showed up, BR got talking to a couple of tourists leaving me chatting to MM. She was asking about my relationship status and I was pretty upfront about it - unhappy for a few years, no-one on the horizon, not meeting new people, tried online dating etc.

We mulled over possibilities including night classes (something that KfW2 and USHW have both suggested in the past). I said that it had been suggested before. She admitted that she had done something similar when she was single, but ended up in a class populated by elderly men. Then, somewhat out of the blue, she asked me about KfW2. Specifically, she asked if I were interested in her. I denied it, then immediately confessed to a little crush. That's not the strict truth, but good enough for the conversation. I admitted that there are a lot of KfW2's physical and non-physical characteristics that I would look for in a partner.

As if that line of questioning wasn't surprising enough, a few minutes later, once KfW2 chat was finished and we were back onto dating, her next question was definitely jaw-dropping:

"Are you any good in bed?"

I laughed. MM looked shocked at herself.

"I've never had any complaints and I assume if they don't say anything that I've done OK" was my reply.

I enjoyed the chat - bar KfW2 and USHW, none of my female friends tend to talk to me in-depth about my relationships or lack thereof. Certainly, no-one's ever asked the direct question regarding my happiness, not even AM or QC1 who I long regarded as being my closest female friends. They all say the same thing - "We think you're great and you should definitely meet someone" but it's rare that anyone actually wants to talk to me about it or actually do something to help. So, while MM was slightly embarrassed at some of the questions she was asking, I really enjoyed the convo and the chance to be upfront about the whole thing.

She left soon after and I enjoyed the rest of the night with FP and BR.

Also, as an aside, USHW and I were having a chat about what's happened in our lives over the past ten years and RB's name came up. Freaky coincidence then, when MF posted pictures on Facebook yesterday afternoon of RB's wedding. She's still cute.

Jumping to conclusions.

I awoke this morning and checked my phone. A message was sent on Facebook. Hmmm... I don't have Facebook Messenger installed on my phone - a petty rebellion against the company. Why should it be a separate application? But it got me thinking. Today's our annual "big day out".

Most of the usual suspects are going except GB, MF and CH.

The first thought that crossed my mind was that KfW2 had messaged to say she wasn't able to go. That's the way things have been going recently, but when I logged into my PC, it turns out that it was actually from USHW hoping that I have a good day today.

Is that what it's come to? That my first thought about anything is that I am going to be let down?

Planning ahead.

Party season is approaching. Arguably, for me, it starts next Friday with our work's Hallowe'en fancy dress party. I don't do fancy dress. It's not a snobbish thing. It's just a self-confidence thing. I'll pop along for a while and see what's happening but both KfW2 and CH are definitely not going.

I already have at least one thing planned for every weekend in November including a night out with both KfW2 and CH and no-one else, and after that, it's December. That's still to be arranged, but we at least have the work's Christmas event.

I've already started thinking about New Year's Eve. I'm gonna raise the subject with GM in November and see if I can't at least get an acknowledgement this year. We're the only two without a reliable group of friends, so we should both be looking for company for that night. I already know what I want to do this year - the same thing (bar) that I wanted to do last year, but in reality, if I can get GM out, then it doesn't really matter. With any luck, a bit of notice and some persuasion should sort that out. GB won't be about, unless MF decides to come out, but that might be a battle to get her to see my point of view.

Oh dear.

It was our annual big day/night out yesterday, but it didn't get off to a good start and was in danger of falling apart rapidly. S cried off with the flu, but that wasn't a huge surprise because he'd had the decency to let me know a few days ago. CH made an about turn on Friday and said that she'd love to come out and would try her best, though it would be unlikely. GB and MF were doing their own thing, though had told KfW2 that they'd make an appearance at some point. Others, like CC were only going to be dropping in.

From a guaranteed dozen or so people, it looked as if it could come down to me and KfW2.

It didn't work out that bad though - KfW2 was in contact with a few people who turned up to see her. It was a couple who were really nice. I hit it off with the female and we spent hours chatting away. She even said that she thought I was fabulous and that she had a girl who I really should meet. Whether anything comes of it remains to be seen... I doubt it though.

Contrast this with GB who, once she came out of her bad mood over KfW2's early departure, asked a patronising sounding question about whether CB was in the pub. The fact that she was able to remember minor details that I'd reported about CB indicates that her uselessness in the whole failed attempt at an introduction last year was her decision rather than just, well, uselessness.

As an aside, I was actually looking for CB as we were in the bar where I first saw her, but if she was there, then she didn't arrive until after I had left.

I think KfW2 was a little shocked at my indifference to GB prior to her arrival, but I really have simply given up where she's concerned. GB and MF kept themselves to themselves yesterday and even though KfW2's friends and I tried to engage them in conversation they were downright ignorant in my opinion.

Regardless of GB's attitudes, I still had a great time - KfW2 is always good company and her friends were really nice as well.

The bloody cheek!

GB accosted me as we were leaving work.

"Isn't it about time that you arranged our next night out?" she asked. "Me and MF think you should."

I had been giving it some thought - a friend of KfW2's had already suggested something  that we found agreeable (specifically a pub that I've been trying to get to more), but seeing as the night out in question isn't until the middle of next month, I didn't see any point in sending out any emails. Thinking about it though, maybe this day next week would be a good time.

We talked about other things - other upcoming nights out (which GB will not be attending, specifically GM's birthday) but we both needed to get home, so we went our separate ways.

I wasn't going to email GB and MF about the proposed night out given that they always try and derail things but being inflexible, but I guess I'm kinda going to have to now.

Gah!

After my mini-rant in this post, GB further annoyed me by turning up to our grand day out several hours after everyone else. We knew she was going to do this, but it made her first complaint about which day we had originally chosen pretty much null and void.

To add insult to all of this, she only stayed out for a couple of hours and was the first to leave with MF.

No doubt there will be a row when it comes to deciding what to do over Christmas and New Year, though I already have my preferences and have told KfW2.

There were a few things said by KfW2 that I need to follow up with, when I next get the chance to speak to her privately.

A day of ups and downs.

DSC came to town yesterday and we did our usual thing of pottering about, having coffee, lunch etc. and chatting. It's been ages since I last saw her - possibly late February - so it was nice to be able to talk properly with her and get updated on her life... it's been pretty dramatic of late. I have to say that I have some concerns about this relationship that she's in and how happy she is (or isn't as the case may be), but she refuses to acknowledge it even though the signs are all there. She left mid-afternoon, and that gave me some time to get ready for the night out with GB, MF, GM and a few others. KfW2 had already been in contact to say she wasn't going to make it - she's been really ill/run down recently that I think is at least partly stress-related. I called her to check up on her for a few minutes while DSC was trundling around TK Maxx and we chatted. I wasn't really in the mood for the night out, even though it was my idea, but I went out anyway, mainly to see GM... and I am glad that I did.

It took GB less than an hour to start to annoy me. The entire thing was my suggestion initially and we had all agreed to meet at a certain place. First of all, despite clarifying the pre-agreed arrangements, she turned up 45 minutes late, then after only an hour in the first pub, started whining about leaving because it was too expensive. I was meant to be meeting my sister and brother-in-law in the same pub, so was reluctant to move on. I could easily have text them an update, but by this stage, it's a point of principle, so I made everyone stay on for about another hour.

Due to seating arrangements, I didn't really speak to her for the rest of the night, which was fine by me. KfW2 surprised me by turning up (I'd been texting her all afternoon and early evening) and was glad to see that she was feeling much better. She was in brilliant form and myself, GM and her bantered away all night. My sister and brother-in-law did turn up after their other thing had finished, and I got the chance to introduce KfW2 to them, which I've wanted to do for quite a while actually - my sister and bro-in-law hear loads about KfW2 and likewise, KfW2 hears a lot about them and their children from me. Unsurprisingly, they got along really well. KfW2 text me to say she really liked them, and I haven't had any feedback from my sister yet, but I daresay it will be very positive.

The only real downside is that I wanted to have a bit more of a conversation with GM about GB/CB and her behaviour, but it was hard to find a quiet corner to do it, so I'll have to wait until we go out without the bigger crowd, when we tend to have more serious conversations anyway.

Socially speaking.

The work thing trundles on. Concerns are growing in general (not just me) that our new boss, despite many, many (minor) mistakes and no signs that things will get better that he will eventually fill a role as our permanent new manager in a few months once his initial probationary period is up.

On the bright side, we have a work night out this week and I'm hoping that CC, CH and KfW2 will be out. GB will probably be out as well and while my relationship with her has cooled (on my side, she is unaware that there is a problem), I still want (need) to close off the CB thing. I'm hoping that I can maybe get the girls involved in a conversation about my relationship status and take it from there. If that doesn't work, I'm still pretty clueless about how to bring up the subject out of the blue like this. Regardless of the conversation, I am looking forward to Friday already, purely from the social aspect.

I'm also trying to arrange a daytime thing at the end of the month with the same crowd plus a few extras like MF, S, GM etc. We've had a few of these in the past and they've always turned out to be really good fun and really well received.

I've also managed to get a hold of E over Facebook. She wasn't responding on Skype, presumably because she was never at her laptop, but it's been good to chat. However, she's difficult to talk to over text chat - like getting blood out of a stone (I know a few people who would level that accusation at me, quite fairly too), but when you talk to her on the phone or on Skype, she's a lot warmer, funnier and talkative. We've easily had two hour Skype conversations in the past.

More or less "girls, girls, girls"?

I put together a rather substantial post last night regarding my previous post and it got lost when my PC suddenly installed updates without warning. Ho hum.

Off the back of my previous post, I was reminded of a statement I read (probably on the online forum of which I am a member) where someone said (and I paraphrase here):

"If you are good friends with a woman who has single friends and she's never tried to set you up with any of them, then there's something wrong".

While I'm not going to get into whether or not this person is actually right or wrong, it did cause me to think. I've always had a lot of female friends and as far as I can remember I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times one of my female friends actually tried to set me up (and KfW2's recent offer and GB with CB since the turn of the year don't count).

• I got AM a summer job at my place when she was at uni. She met a cute girl there who apparently was quite into me. AM didn't tell me until after their contracts ended, we were on our way home and I never saw her again.
• QC1 made a half-assed attempt to get me to go on a blind date. "She was perfect for me" she said, but yet wouldn't entertain just bringing her out socially. It HAD to be a blind date.
• E had hoped that I'd get it on with her friend R3 and made at least one clumsy effort to get us together. R3 admitted later that, at the same time, she had hoped that E and I would get together because we were natural together, but I don't recall any actual effort when I was present. Neither happened.
• KfW once tried to get me to get off with her friend when we were in the bar. Her friend was having the same conversation with me when KfW was at the bar.
• DSC did ask CF if she'd fuck me one night we were all out and CF was horny. Sadly, she didn't want to.

And, well, that's it. Five times over the course of twenty odd years of being seriously interested in girls. I don't know if I should be disappointed or if there were more discussions that went on behind the scenes that I am unaware of. Given that I haven't ever scored with a friend of a female friend (RB doesn't count as I only knew MF long after RB had gone away), I'm probably going to assume that these conversations never happened.

Hmmm.

I was in the pub last night with GB and MF with a work thing. I'd spent all day trying to persuade CH to turn up but she had things to do. However she did walk up with me to the bar and we chatted, but she left to get the bus home, sadly.

It was a fun, if uneventful, night with the only talking point today being GB's rather derisory (IMO) accusation that I had left a message on MFF's Facebook account just to draw attention to myself for CB. I had to ask her to explain herself because when she made the comment, she used CB's first name which is the same as RB's, albeit spelled differently. With MF there, I wasn't sure which girl she was initially referring to (though I was more than tipsy at this point and to be honest, RB rarely ever gets mentioned by MF though I think GB is aware that we had a date or two), but when I eventually figured it out, I scoffed at her ludicrous suggestion.

It's utter nonsense of course, but that's twice in the past two weeks that GB has made a negative comment on my interaction with other people with regards to dating/sex. I wonder if this something that I am going to have to have a chat with her about?

Green, turning blue.

S and I went for something to eat yesterday afternoon ahead of meeting up with the rest of the guys at my favourite pub. There are always discussions about where to go when we have our big days out, but we usually end up in this one pub. At the last minute, someone else suggested the place we were in on New Year's Eve with GB and GM, and while that's an excellent pub, it's not really handy for anyone these days - GM and GB have moved away from the area, it's remote and a taxi ride there. Once it was suggested, it niggled at me for a bit though because I knew there was a good bet that if CB was out for St. Patrick's Day, it would probably be there.

Regardless, we ate and went round. We were the first to arrive and tried to grab seats. GB, GM and MF plus boyfriends etc. were the next to arrive, almost an hour after the pre-arranged meeting time. Apparently they were unavoidably held up in their quest for food, but didn't have the common sense/manners to at least drop me or S a text message to let us know that they were running late. Predictably, KfW2 didn't show up until 90 mins after we originally arrived - again, unavoidable family issues, but no text to let us know she was running late.

GM and I got involved in some chat with a couple of girls from Kent, which was really good fun while it lasted, but that was pretty much the highlight of the entire evening.

KfW2 went home early - really early. She wasn't feeling brilliant, having picked up a bug/the cold from her fiancé and flagged really quickly. It was obvious to see, and while it was disappointing, it was for the best. S invited one of his friends down and he annoyed me really quickly (as he has done many times) and I got fed up of GB making demands - she refuses to stand in a bar, but won't take the initiative in grabbing seats, directing others. Additionally, as we were making our way to the bar, I paused to let one of the barmaids pass by, only for GB to come up behind me and tell me that it was pointless "because she'll never fuck you". All of this just annoyed me, so I left around half past ten and came home. I wasn't too drunk and could easily have stayed out longer, but everyone's tardiness plus GB's comments on top of a general malaise meant I wasn't in very good form.

So, today I have been generally disappointed in yesterday's outcome and have wished that we'd gone to the New Year's Eve pub instead, if only for a change of scenery. KfW2 phoned this morning and asked if everything was OK. She'd picked up that I wasn't in great form, so I admitted that I wasn't. She didn't sound brilliant, so it looks as if the cold has properly taken hold, so we swapped stories of us being misertable - her, physically, me, mentally.

An all-female digest.

CH's attendance at the work thing tomorrow night has suddenly been put in jeopardy by child-minding issues. It's disappointing, but unsurprising. It's happened before. That's reduced my own enthusiasm for tomorrow night, which I had been looking forward to quite a bit and although GB and MF are good company, I fancied a bit of light flirting and ambiguous too-ing and fro-ing.

Still, a lack of CH (and her insistence on drinking shots) might mean I have less of a hangover for meeting DSC on Saturday for lunch and shopping.

I have lots to update DSC on, not least the CB thing (still nothing from GB or our Mutual Facebook Friend on that score) and the plastic date thing that I'm doing as a favour for MM. That's taken an interesting few turns this week already as the initial contact came in on Tuesday night and was, how can I put it, enthusiastic. It certainly didn't seem like it was a platonic thing from the way the text was written and subsequent contact hasn't really swayed me from that initial assumption. It was a message from MM earlier today that kinda, sorta put my mind at ease when it was pointed out that the girl in question is ten years my junior and probably very nervous about meeting new people.

I still have a certain level of reservation about it all - I worry that she's looking for more than just a trial run and that I'll then have to deal with fallout. I really don't like fallout and have often made sacrifices when it looks as if it is on the cards. Turning down E3 last year after a birthday party is just one recent example, but there have been others. I guess it's why I try and date outside of my social circle, so that if something goes "wrong", then I can walk away.

I guess this all goes back to the brief few months when I was fucking FBS. I was just interested in a fuck buddy, she wanted more. As we worked together and had plenty of mutual friends, plenty of people tried to get involved when it looked like I was gonna walk away (which I was, to be fair) which really didn't help - partly because I am stubborn and while I didn't want to offend FBS, I knew that she wasn't what I was looking for in a girlfriend. I also didn't think that it was their business.

That still resonates with me, even today. I'll try not to announce plans or goals or anything that will potentially happen until I know for sure that things will pan out the way I want. That's why I was (am) keeping the CB thing as close to my chest as I can though, through necessity, other people have found out and been let in on the, well, not secret, but knowledge.

Regardless, it looks as if I will be meeting up with this girl at some point next week - we still need to arrange the details, but even that seems to be more trouble that I think it should.