Ah well...

I texted V last night asking after her. Heard nothing as yet, and I'm not expecting to, to be honest.

WTF?

Completely out of the blue (well, I say "completely" but there is the subject of a large alcohol intake to be considered), I was overcome by a huge feeling that I missed V, a person I met within the last year (nearly a year to the very day, believe it or not).

I had a thing for her, and I truly believed that a fuck was likely, though nothing more given the circumstances, but we ended up being good friends. Good friends in that I haven't heard from her since last November, which is a pity given my obsession with my friends staying in contact.

Still, the feeling that I had lasted a few hours and I desperately wanted to talk to her again, and then it left. Weird. What's probably more weird is that, I never once thought about calling her, even though I have her mobile number stored in my phone.

I still have a good beer buzz on. I might try her now...

Still alive.

It seems like ages since I've been here, but the date stamp on my last post reckons it's only about 10 days. I kinda keep forgetting about this. Ah well.

Things are starting to fall into place. I'm getting a pay rise this month which should ease the finances a bit, plus with my new 0% credit card, I can start paying off some of the (huge) balance I have as well as put some cash by for savings. I've been meaning to do this for the past few months, but never got around to it.

Nothing else has changed, really. Work's still fine, the social life is still non-existent (more on that later) and I'm going to the gym.

So far, I've only managed to get to the gym about once per week since I've joined. Work's sorta cuppered that with a few late night meetings etc. on my gym days. It's started to settle down, so I can now realistically aim for at least twice per week, especially now that GC produced a fitness plan for me.

The social life is, as I said above, still dead. Hopefully not for very much longer, though. A mate will be more available within the next fortnight for socialising (weekends - beer and midweek - squash). Plus, the guys in work are starting to get a bit more together, which should mean a few more nights out on the piss.

All in all, things are starting to look up, even though they're not exactly down. Hurrah.

What a tangled web we weave.

F reminded me, over MSN, about a drunken conversation that I had with K about this time last year.

K popped on to MSN late one night to chat. She was very drunk. She claimed that we had grown apart and pretty much accused me that it was all my fault. She implied, though never directly said, that I'd distanced myself after we'd screwed one night.

And, I'm being honest here, I did distance myself. However, I did so because K started talking about us having a relationship. It bordered on demanding, actually. She tried to talk me into it, despite me telling her over several conversations that a) I viewed her as a friend and the sex didn't change that, b) I wasn't looking for a relationship and c) even if the first two points were not in the picture, the geographical distance between us would make it a non-starter.

I said that I didn't regret what happened between us, but a relationship was NOT on the cards.

K refused to acknowledge any of this and treated it as a debate where logic would win by trying to counter the points I raised above. This caused me to distance myself from her, primarily for her own sake. F pretty much made the same arguments when K confided in her, but K still refused to listen.

As this all was happening, I was chatting to F on MSN at the same time as K was ranting at me, and I was relaying all this back to F.

F then admitted that K had declared that she was going to fuck me when we all met up for a group weekend. So, apparently, K wanted to fuck me and she knew I would contemplate something casual/FwB but not a relationship... but she kept angling for a relationship. F teased me because, by our count, we reckoned there were at least three women who wanted to screw/date me at that meeting. And I always had my suspicions about F herself, though she is purely a physical, "let's fuck then remain friends" kinda woman.