Unexpected.

It could be a somewhat unexpected busy weekend, socially. I'm out tomorrow with a few people from work - my team, really. Though there's a possibility that we might bump into a few more work people while  out - Ideas Girl or maybe JB. That means I expect tomorrow to be quite drunken. I could also bump into S as well, as I know he's due to be out and about.

There's an outside chance that, on Saturday night, KfW2 could invite me out. She's out with a close mate - arguably her closest friend - but that wouldn't mean that anyone else is precluded. Plus I get along brilliantly with her friend.

On Sunday, I have a few hours in the pub pencilled in with FP, possibly with GM as well.

And finally, with taking some time on Monday, KfW2 has suggested she visits with the family.

I'm expecting all of that to happen, with the exception of the Saturday night thing, so even so, it should be a fun, busy and packed weekend.

Baby got back.

Years ago... probably around ten years, now that I think about it, I was involved in a conversation with A. I can't remember exactly what prompted this particular topic of conversation, but I confessed to A that I found women's backs sexy.

I mentioned the hours spent intertwined on FBS's sofa, undoing her bra not so I could have access to her breasts (though that would come later) but to stroke her back, which she loved. It was definitely FBS who woke my back appreciation.

Then there was QC3 who, around the late 90s, wore strappy, backless tops. You remember them, right? Literally, the back of the top was all string? I tried to find a picture, but I couldn't.

FA2 got similar treatment to FBS along with many back massages. If I stayed the night and woke before FA2, the first thing I would see in the morning would be FA2 lying on her side, facing away from me. Often, she would be naked, and I would stroke her back to wake her.

There were many others - crushes, one-night things, strangers in posh dresses etc. who all got second glances because of their backless attire.

Not that I went into that amount of detail with A, but it seemingly piqued her curiosity as I received several pictures over the next week or so of various women's backs, mostly in some state of undress. Standing, seated, lying down, tattooed, unmarked, toned, flabby... all questioning whether or not I found those particular ones a turn-on.

Hello again.

I've not yet made up my mind about contacting any of the women who've magically appeared on Tinder as having matched with me, though I am toying with the idea of messaging one of them who's quite cute.

I was having another look today and who should appear on my list than DSC. That's about the third or fourth time in the past few months that she's appeared. I've swiped left every time, so she must be resetting her account.

Goals.

My fitness tracker arrived at the end of the week and I've been playing around with it a little. I can't get it to connect to my health tracker, MapMyFitness, but it connects easily enough to the phone and its own app.

I don't know what would be more annoying - that it didn't connect at all, or that it does connect intermittently but I can't figure out what causes that to happen.

Seamless connection to MapMyFitness would be brilliant. I think it's something to do with the Bluetooth chip in it, but I can't be certain.

I also broke out the scales a few minutes ago and stepped on them with dread. I was fully expecting to see me register my heaviest weight ever. I feel heavier. My clothes don't fit as well, even the looser ones.

Surprisingly, that wasn't the case. 219 lbs is not good by any stretch of the imagination, but it's not the 221 lbs that I was a few years ago when I first took up DDP Yoga.

As before, the numeric goal/stage one is roughly 196 lbs. 14 stone. 89 kg. Once I hit that stage, then I'll re-evaluate where I am. It could be that I fit in my clothes at that stage and feel good (and feeling good is the goal rather than the numeric target), then it'll be maintenance. If not, then I'll come up with a new (numeric) goal.

There are no real time scales (though I do have half an eye on a potential foreign trip around August).

So, roughly 23 lbs or 1.5 stone or 10 kg.

That's not hard, is it?

I mean, WTF?

You're all aware of Tinder, right? And regular readers will know of my complete lack of success with online dating, apart from the lovely Date No. 1.

I keep going back to sites​ like Plenty of Fish every so often, just in case. The same with my dating apps on my phone, though these are rarely closed... just not checked that often.

I had a quick check on Tinder on Sunday night while I was in the pub with FP, but no-one was looking interesting/cute to me.

Why I checked it on the bus on the way home, I've no  idea. Bored probably. I only have one Words with Friends game going at the moment - both CH and KfW2 have timed out, so I needed something else to do instead of staring at pensioners on the bus.

I had FOUR matches. According to the times listed, the first "match" was a month ago, with the latest being just this morning and at varying times in between. One of them has even sent a message.

The thing is, I don't recall swiping right on any of the women shown. I've said before that it's hard for me to be really interested in women online, though when someone does pique my interest, they​ REALLY do. See CB, for example.

While a couple of the women in question are cute, they're not exciting me enough that I'm rushing to message them. Hmmm...

On your marks...

I've been eyeing up some fitness trackers on Amazon for quite a while now - well over six months. They're not expensive - under £30 - but I've been reluctant to push the boat out and buy one. I don't know why. If it's crap, I'd simply return it. if it's good, then I'd keep it and use it. I mainly wanted one with a heart rate monitor, but I didn't want to go down the full-on smart watch at over £100.

Anyway, with the main travel agreement in place with FP, I want to kick on with the weight loss goals and a fitness tracker would help out.

Things I need to sort out:

1. Diet
• Portion management. I eat too much at one sitting. I need to reduce portion size and eat more frequently.
• Cut out some guff - reduce my bread intake. Cut out, as much as possible, my savoury snack intake. This is my weak spot much more than chocolate and sweets are.
• Calorie goals. I need to figure out how many calories I need each day.
• Recipes - specifically for lunches that I can pre-make at the start of the week. I've got a nice tabbouleh recipe that's filling (for a salad). If you know of anything like this, let me know.
• Get back into the habit of drinking water.
2. Exercise
• Start off slowly and build up to more strenuous, longer workouts eventually getting some weights in and my favourite, DDP Yoga.
• Get into a routine of exercising as often as possible.

I still don't know what the scale of the problem is - I'm yet to step on the scales - but I'll do that this week. Oh, and if you hadn't guessed already, I did buy the fitness tracker. I should have it by the weekend and I can finally retire my chest strap heart rate monitor.

I'm always looking for advice and feedback, so if anyone has any ideas, recipes etc. please share them.

Bucket List (Part 1)

I can't remember the circumstances that prompted the conversation, but the subject of a bucket list came up. I've never considered a bucket list before, so the conversation prompted some thought.

The thing is, offhand, I struggle to think of things that I'm really passionate about that might fit on such a list. Bucket list items are, for me, big items. My ongoing goal about weight loss is not a Bucket List item, for example, neither are the goals I list in my annual "Goals" post.

So, first things, first. What goals do I have right now that are potentially bucket list items that I can add to a list?

• Visit Macchu Pichu
• Visit Salar de Uyuni
• Visit Cape Canaveral

Travel destinations don't need a lot of explanation, so I'm not going to explain why those listed above are on the list apart from say that Cape Canaveral has been somewhere I've wanted to go since I was a child with an interest in space.

• Have an archetypal dirty weekend with a partner

Just for the fun of it. I've not had an extensive number of relationships. Most of them have petered out before we've even hit the three month "make it official" point, so I've actually never stayed in a hotel with a significant partner. I've had a couple of one night stands while on stag and lad's weekends away, but nothing over one night. So, spend a weekend (or at least a couple of nights at any point) in a hotel room, physically enjoying my companion as she does, me.

There are a couple of "event" ones:

• Attend an NFL game (preferably my team)
• Attend an NBA game (preferably my team)
• Attend an English Premier League game

That's about it really. I can't think of anything else that's worthy of inclusion on a bucket list. None of those listed above is beyond my reach - it's just a matter of getting the cash together to afford them and the motivation to arrange the details.

I've left these links below, for future reference, in case I feel like adding to the paltry seven entries.

https://personalexcellence.co/blog/bucket-list/
http://bucketlistjourney.net/my-bucket-list/

Travelling man.

It's taken nearly four weeks, but I finally managed to get FP out for a chat and a few drinks. Amongst the many topics of conversation, I managed to return to the idea of travel and we've tentatively agreed to do it around the end of August. Final dates are tbc at the moment, but that's to do with FP hunting out the best flight prices for roughly that time.

That means hopefully, a week somewhere warm and sunny, to chill.

It also means that I will tick off a Bucket List item. I don't have a bucket list per se, but I've always wanted to visit Cape Canaveral and the Kennedy Space Centre ever since I was a young child.

I have more to say on the whole bucket list idea, but that's better suited for a dedicated post, I think, due to the inevitable trademarked Ruuude overthinking.

Suffice to say, I'm now quite excited. I haven't done any foreign travelling in about four years and the added Kennedy Space Centre stuff is just adding to that.

Woohoo!

Tentative steps.

I was hoping to get on the scales this week, to take some measurements and start the journey to being able to fit into my summer wardrobe. I don't know what the numbers are but I feel fat*.

CC asked me if I wanted to go for a walk yesterday. I initially agreed, but once I get back into the house, I cancelled. I've been very lethargic recently and the recent work-thing from Friday is kinda stressing me out a little.

I realise that exercise will help with the stress and the recurring sleepless nights (yup, they're back), but I can't get the motivation for walking never mind some of the more strenuous stuff I've been planning like yoga and some light weight work.

There's also the issue of my shoulder that I somehow injured back in November and my long-term achilles tendon problem that seems sorted, but gives me a scare at least once per week with an odd twinge. I'm afraid to do anything more strenuous than walking in case the injuries come back, which would be a massive set back and hugely demoralising.

Saying that, I did go for a walk tonight with CC. 2.75 miles and supposedly around 371 calories. Maybe this is the start? Maybe work the yoga gently in, before slowly moving on to the more strenuous stuff?

*I think the numbers on the scales will be higher than they've ever been, when I finally get around to it (220lbs was my previous heaviest).

Grrr... (Part 2)

Following on from this post, things took an interesting turn when my manager, in case you didn't know is 4500 miles away, asked for a quick chat.

The quick chat was effectively him criticising me for ten minutes, for pretty much no reason. My results speak for themselves. What appears to be the problem is that I'm not doing things the way my manage wants me (and possibly others) to do them. It's hard to say... there weren't many actual examples given of this so-called bad behaviour. But he's micro-managing and in a bad way.

Having effectively managed ourselves for the past two years, we just get on with things. We don't stop every five minutes to update people on our progress. We don't leave at night until things that need done, are done. However, there's never any recognition of good work/practices, but you will be crucified (not literally) if the tiniest thing goes wrong.

This is concerning. There was trouble brewing (again, an over-reaction) from senior management about a non-perfect (but not disastrous) software release recently. A complete over-reaction. The rumours are that one of the managers is on the warpath and looking for blood as a result.

I get the feeling that I am being set up to be the fall guy, even though none of the non-optimal projects were mine. My manager seems to be making this personal. One of the examples he gave me relating to something that happened a few weeks ago (the same night that the events of this post happened) was factually incorrect. This leads me to believe that he's got some irrational dislike for me, and is retro-fitting his criticism to suit.

I've spoken to one of the local managers about it, but I've got the feeling things will get worse.

Grrr...

It's going to be an interesting week in my office. We have a "new" boss (really, it's about 5 months at this stage) but he's starting to act a little strangely.

I'm a software developer and there's been quite a big over-reaction to a couple of really minor issues that were not even really the fault of our team's. He's in the process of drawing up a list of "expectations" (I presume this will just end up being more work and responsibility for us).

This is all very reminiscent of a manager that we had around the start of 2013. That led to a HUGE drop in morale across the entire team and a HUGE rise in stress levels.

The manager at that time was nothing more than incompetent. I hadn't been getting that vibe off the new manager, but he is starting to show exactly the same characteristics that the other guy did.

On Friday, while I was trying to solve three issues concurrently for another team, he was giving me grief for not regularly updating the relevant parties via email. He wasn't just giving me grief directly, oh no. He included the entire team on a direct request to me. He also phoned a colleague to ensure that I was at my desk, looking into the three issues.

I finally got the information that everyone was looking for, an hour after I was due to leave and sent the emails and left the office. I made it to the pub for my pre-arranged meeting with D and Friction Guy, but I was a little late.

I fully expect some criticism over my perceived lack of communication which I think is unnecessary and unwarranted. As I said at the start of the post, it's an over-reaction. We've always done good work with good results and have had no issues in years, but this doesn't seem to be factored in, and I wonder why we bother. Our excellent performance is now the expected level and minor issues are now seen as huge mistakes worthy of a witch hunt.