A welcome distraction.

R2 popped into my head earlier. I was thinking about travel, again, and specifically New York. That's somewhere I've wanted to visit for some time. R2 used to live in New York: Lower Manhattan and Brooklyn specifically if I recall correctly.

But as soon as R2 popped into my head, then another memory surfaced: our interaction before she left. I thought she was attractive, and she often came for a chat if I was in the bar. Some of my female friends were convinced that she was interested, but I never saw any signs: she was simply being friendly. We did meet a couple of times, and we did a couple of lunches, but she was always moving to NY long before we became friendly.

And there was also this feeling that she would have eaten me alive. That's not strictly true, but there was probably a massive gulf in maturity, even with me in my early 20s. If anything romantic had happened, I don't think it would have lasted too long, and that was probably a consideration why I didn't really look too hard for any romantic interest from her.

She wasn't the only one where that happened: SJ from school, arguably the first person I really liked (I'd had crushes, done dates and had a girlfriend before SJ came along), but there was that gap in maturity that hung over my head.

I don't think I really found myself or at least was comfortable with myself until I was mid-20s, which probably explains why I never dated anyone seriously until then. CAB came close, but I always knew she was leaving town, too.

So, yeah, some fond memories of R2 today and a little bit of introspection.

Who are you?

I didn't get the stuff done today that I was planning yesterday, but it wasn't due to laziness. Rather, I got sidetracked into doing some house stuff like prepping the garden for winter:, packing up the garden furniture, mowing and trimming the lawn etc.

It actually makes sense that I do the other stuff tomorrow because I might have to make some phone calls. The downside is that I might have to take tomorrow off, if I want to get everything done, because they're not the kind of tasks I can do in 5 mins if I get some quite time while working.

I did sleep well last night and woke refreshed this morning. I do recall a dream, or at least a bit of a dream that featured CAB. In the dream I was at a party, possibly at KfW2's house, and she introduced to me a friend. When I looked up, her friend was standing with his "plus one" who was CAB who, for some reason, didn't recognise me.

I don't remember a lot more about the dream than that, but it provoked a smile when I recalled it when I woke. And a little nostalgia about CAB, of course. 

Going b(l)ack.

After yesterday's posts about QC2 and CAB in Levi's, I've gone head and ordered myself a pair off Vinted. A black pair. Reliving my youth? Maybe, but with my recent weight loss, I want to find jeans that are a better fit than the ones I've been wearing for the past decade or so.

Why black? I don't know. It must be at least 20 years since I've owned a black pair of jeans. Possibly even one of the pairs that I mentioned yesterday that FA2 bought me.

No ifs or butts.

As a gamer, I watch a few streams on Twitch. One of my more frequent watches has recently been sponsored by Levi's. Every time the ad pops up, she claims "it's the butt ad!". That reminds me of my appreciation of QC2 in her Levi's. I've probably posted about that before. I wasn't alone in my appreciation, I know that. But you know who else also wore 501s well? CAB.

I wore 501s myself around that time, and I got my fair share of compliments about my ass. QC2 herself admitted it was decent. FA2 loved my ass in 501s to the point where she bought me a couple of pairs when she was in the States one Christmas (to be fair, she owed me a pair because she got paint on mine). Wrong waist size, mind you, but still.

Sadly, I don't have that butt any more - I don't play sports and I'm pretty sedentary - a combination that doesn't really lead to having a nice butt. Back then, I played a lot of sport and I did a lot of walking, even if my job was sat at a desk all day long.

LOL.

I was swapping messages with USHW and she said something that provoked a memory of CAB.

I was out at a pub with CAB and BW and a few others including BW's younger brother. We were having a discussion of some kind, a light-hearted "boys vs girls" kind of conversation when BW's little brother proudly pronounced that "blokes invented batteries" and sat there feeling quite smug.

We knew what the undercurrent was of that, but it was kinda surprising to hear that come from BW's little bro.

"Blokes didn't invent fingers though, did they?" retorted CAB.

BW's little bro was flabbergasted. We all laughed at him.

"Looks like you lost, go get some drinks in!" laughed BW.

So... yeah... an enjoyable semi-conversation with USHW today and an enjoyable memory of CAB. 

Regrets?

A question was asked on Reddit a few days ago: "When did you regret leaving a SO?"

I replied that I didn't regret leaving someone, but there was a person where I had second-guessed the timing. The person I was thinking of was CAB. As I've no doubt explained before, we always had an expiry date. She was going to go away for university and I had no desire to have a long-distance relationship. At best, we had six months, though I pulled the plug around the three month milestone.

Had I thought it through, I probably should have just kept on dating her. She was good fun, we had some great private fun even if there was never any actual sex (not through a lack of trying on our part) and I could easily have spent the summer going to bars with her, because that's really all we did. 

A thought that only crossed my mind recently was that we didn't feel like a couple, she felt more like a FwB to me. Was that just our vibe or was her imminent departure for university at the back of my mind and putting a barrier up against any real relationship growth?

But a pleasant enough memory. And here's a picture of Anna Kendrick giving me some serious CAB vibes:

Spitting Image.

When I arrived at KfW2's house last night, she was already drinking cocktails with a neighbour. Pina Coladas, in fact. Classic KfW2. However, that's not the talking point. The talking point was that KfW2's neighbour was the spitting image of CAB. We ended up persuading her to stay and it was a fun night. I've not been that drunk in a long time. I don't like being drunk, but I called it a night before I got too drunk. Back home now and an afternoon on the sofa, watching TV is the plan for today.

80085

I've always claimed that I'm not a boobs guy or an ass guy or a specific body part guy, and that's true. But I have to say that boobs have been on my mind a lot over the past few days. That picture of Anna Kendrick that I posted yesterday is really doing it for me. When considering my past, FBS and CAB have been on my mind a lot, too, and they were blessed in the chest department.

Let's go round again.

I slept really well last night. Weirdly, I woke this morning thinking about CAB. I don't know if there was a dream involved or not - I don't recall a dream. But the memory involved me talking to CAB. This would have been after I broke things off with her.

I was at a bar. The bar where I met R2. Actually, the same bar where I met CAB. I spent a lot of time there in my early 20s with AM, QC1 etc. Anyway, at the end of the evening as we were leaving to get a taxi home, I bumped into CAB. She started talking so I waved the others on. She wanted to get back together.

I can't remember the details of the conversation. I can't remember her argument for getting back together nor can I recall if I vocalised my reasons for not getting back together. My reasons for not getting back together were the same as my reasons for breaking up: she was due to move away to go to university, I wasn't interested in/considering long-distance, so I didn't see the point in continuing to date.

And I know that I definitely didn't share my ongoing frustrations about us not having sex. It was part of the reason I called things off, but not the main reason, which I explained above. I doubt it would have been a surprise to her, though.

But, yeah, that was the memory I woke to this morning. 

Out of the blue, again.

I had a dream last night where I was working, but I can't really explain what the work was. I feel it was like some data analysis for health insurance or something? My boss was someone that actually used to be my boss a few years back. We didn't really see eye-to-eye as she was extremely pedantic about stuff that just made life harder for no real benefit.

I also got paired up with an attractive short brunette woman. I'm convinced this was either Quiet Girl or R. I'm leaning heavily towards it being R. She was being very clingy and I mean that literally - being tactile to the point of not letting go, and the dream was mostly about me trying to get my own space.

It's interesting in that I've not thought about R in... a decade? The last time I do recall thinking about R was when FP and I were in London in September 2014 and took a day trip to Brighton which is where R was living at the time. CAB, too, but that's not relevant to this post. I go and try and find her, but she's never had any social media presence. I doubt that's changed now.

Figure it out.

I'm pretty sure I've blogged about this before, but having recently come across the below pictures, I thought it was worth sharing again. 

Elizabeth Hurley did a spread in UK lad's magazine Loaded in, I think, 1995.

I was always taken with the specific image in the bottom right of the collage image. I always got a CAB vibe off that picture - the hair, the vague shape of her face and, let's not beat about the bush here, her figure. I'm not suggesting for one second that CAB was as attractive as Elizabeth Hurley.

CAB was not, though, a lingerie woman. She was a jeans and t-shirt woman. Yes, the jeans and t-shirts hid a killer figure, but it was not something she was interested in showing off. A bit like CC in that regard.

And another reason for posting is that I always remember that single image from that shoot, the one of Hurley lying on the bed. I don't remember the others. I don't know of they were part of that shoot or unused shots that have now made their way onto the internet.

Waist of time

In recent days, both V and CH have appeared on various social media sites. V has appeared at her local country club looking really good. CH appeared as a result of her work. The notable thing was that CH was wearing a waistcoat. I've mentioned before that I like waistcoats on women, usually as part of the three-piece suit, which is super hot on women, IMO. But still, waistcoats are hot. 

But getting back to the actual photo, while I had my crush on her, I don't think that photos ever did CH justice. Kinda reminds me of CAB that way, too. Attractive, yes, but not photogenic.

Hmmm.

A night of broken sleep, but I semi-remember talking to a brunette woman in a city that's not my own. Maybe London or Manchester? And I think the woman was known to me. I was getting CH or CAB vibes - a brunette that I was attracted to who had a great figure. I don't recall a lot more from the dream than that, why was I talking to the mystery brunette? Why was in a different city? Who knows?

It's been a while since I thought or dreamed of either woman, and I'm not gonna lie... I was a bit wistful.

Dream hotel.

I dreamed about CAB last night. It was a semi-memory. In real life, I broke up with her over lunch one day after something like three months of dating. We weren't moving forwards, she was due to leave the country for a post-grad university course and, despite lots of foreplay activity, we never went the full way, and by god did I want to fuck her. I'm pretty sure she felt the same way. She was pretty enthusiastic when we found some semi-privacy ion the dark corner of a party.

Neither of us outright said anything though, and that's on both of us.

In the dream, though, we went to the pub for lunch and before I had a chance to break the bad news, CAB suggested that we get a hotel at the weekend after a night out on the town. It was pretty much the only way we were getting privacy. And that's what we did - smoking, drinking and dancing to a live band before returning to the hotel and finally sealing the deal. And again in the morning. And that's how we saw out the final weeks until she went away - getting a hotel every few weeks after a night out to relieve the pressure.

Obviously I was extremely frustrated this morning and that continues even now.

Out out.

My online friend messaged me and invited me out for a drink. I met them in a city centre pub that had relevance to me for two reasons: the first was that it was the pub where CH and I first cemented what would be our friendship. We left work before every one else for one of our monthly work things, chatted for an hour or so before everyone else turned up, and I think that was it. That was all it took. The other, unspoken, lust stuff came later, but from the very first time, I think it was obvious we'd be friends.

The second reason is that CAB and I would use this pub for midweek dates. We both lived at home at the time, so privacy was in short supply. This bar was quiet and we discovered this blind spot that gave us privacy to talk and well, make out. So for the price of a couple of pints we'd sit in the corner for a few hours, chat, snog and I might have gotten a bit handsy (over the clothes) on occasion.

So, what was meant to be a few quiet drinks turned out to be a lot of drinks. We left that bar and went to a couple of others. I was doing my duty as host and showing them around and I think our bar scene impressed them because they loved all the bars I showed them.

Off work today, so I got a lie-in, which was needed after a lot of pints and a late finish.

Urgh.

I had a couple of dreams last night, but the details are rapidly fading. The first was FP and I, travelling somewhere. FP was playing wingman for me and essentially producing a series of women all fitting the same physical profile: petite brunettes. I can't remember the end of the dream. I woke up and looked at the clock. It was 3 AM.

The second involved CAB. In it, we had travelled to England for something that CAB had to do, and in between that, we had a lot of sex in the hotel room and specifically the shower. So, yeah, a pleasant dream, but it was frustrating this morning.

And I am already exhausting. I don't think I got good quality sleep last night.

Thinking back.

I saw a couple of pictures on Reddit of Anna Kendrick and I got real CAB vibes off them. I know I've mentioned a certain resemblance before between CAB and AK, and that's true. AK is much thinner, but the vague shape of the face, the nose and the smile plus being a brunette all bring back strong CAB memories.

And while I am getting the vibes from these pictures CAB never, in the time I dated her, wore a skirt nor did she ever show off any cleavage. She was a  501s and t-shirt girl. She would have totally rocked showing off some cleavage though. She definitely had the assets for it.

Dance to the music.

Back in the day, I spent a lot of time in what would become known as CB Pub. FP, G and a lot of others from school would regularly have nights out there, especially if there were bands playing. One of our favourite bands played Blues Brothers type music and they were very good.

In my late teens and early 20s, I saw them a lot. Then they disappeared and I saw them infrequently. They were the band that BW and I went to see when I met CAB. They were the band I was watching when I met R2. They played at AM's wedding. I took FA2 to see them a few times and she was both impressed and annoyed that she got me to dance. Impressed that she liked me dancing, annoyed in that I didn't do it often.

Anyhoo, this is all preamble. Guess who's playing CB Pub in two months time? Yup. Now, who can I go with?

Count 'em.

Unsurprisingly, the number of Valentine's cards received this year is 0, dear reader. I can't remember if I've posted about this before, but I only ever recall getting two cards in my entire life. One was a joke from a godparent and the other was from QC2. I had the hugest crush on her at the time, too. I had kissed her at a party only a few weeks earlier, asked her out and was turned down, so this card coming through the post really threw me. It took a chat with AM to clarify that there was no intent behind it other than a bit of light-hearted fun.

The only person I've actively been dating at this time of year was FA2. She was giving off these "I don't buy into V-Day", though I still bought her flowers and took her to dinner. I don't recall getting a card from her, either. In fact, beyond birthday cards, she never really came up with the goods, though I've probably covered that before.

But even though I wasn't actively dating anyone on V-Day, the memory made me realise that this time of year is probably my most active or successful in terms of meeting women. And by this time of year, I mean roughly mid-December through to mid-March.

Of the women frequently mentioned on this blog, QC1, FA2, FBS, and CAB all happened/started within this period. The E3 incident happened. While nothing progressed, the Chloe night fell into this window too. There are a few others who have not been mentioned on the blog when the initial meeting happened at this time.

While regular readers of this blog might assume that, due to my perennial single status, I don't like V-day, I do have very fond memories of this time of year because of the women mentioned above.

Ssshhh!

Years ago, after I left school and most of my friends had gone to university, I worked an office job, where I met QC2, FBS, Friction Guy and that lot.

BW went to university in our home town so we often socialised together. During this time, he had an on-again-off-again girlfriend. I don't think they were particularly good for each other, but they found themselves getting together briefly before drifting apart again for a few months, then repeating.

I think I've blogged about my first date with CAB. Well, this girl was the reason CAB's friend lucked out that evening.

Regardless, this was before CAB or FBS. One night, BW launched himself at the girl and within seconds they were full-on snogging. Her friend was shocked.

"What are you DOING?"

"They're kissing, Rhonda," was my smart-arse reply.

I'd met Rhonda before and we got along well. We were often left talking to each other when BW and the girl inevitably hooked up at the end of the night.

Rhonda laughed.

"I know, silly. But are they going to go through this again?"

I shrugged.

"We don't have to hang around here while they fumble away."

"Where do we go?"

"Home? I'm fucked if I'm waiting around for them to finish"

"I don't want to walk home on my own."

I knew roughly where Rhonda lived and knew that BW's girl lived on the next street, which is why they'd go home together. It was in the opposite direction to where I needed to go, but I could order a taxi from hers. I shared that thought with Rhonda who pondered it briefly and then nodded. It was about 25 minutes walk.

We chatted on the way up the road. Rhonda had explained that she'd had a conversation with BW's girl who was adamant they wouldn't hook up again, hence her somewhat vocal disapproval of their actions. I laughed.

When we arrived at Rhonda's, she invited me in but before I could order a cab, we were kissing. I admit, I'd never given Rhonda any thought toward anything like this, but this first night, I just kind of went along with it. I left a few hours later when I ordered a cab and we eventually stopped snogging.

The thing is, it seemed that we were both on the same page. We both enjoyed ourselves, but there was no desire to take it any further... nor was there any real compulsion to admit what we'd done. Until we had a repeat performance about a month later after BW pulled the same stunt. After that, we both went out of our way to get the two of them together so we could have our own secret fun.

Rhonda and I eventually slept together a couple of times. One morning, as I left Rhonda's and was waiting for the bus, who should amble up but BW. As he saw me, the penny dropped, both in figuring out why I was there and the subtle way Rhonda and I had been putting BW and Rhonda's friend together were suddenly not so subtle.

I don't know what changed. BW and Rhonda's friend stopped hooking up each time they bumped into each other at the pub. Had it run its course? Had Rhonda and I just extended their usual cycle by a few months so we could have our own fun? I never found out. It happened a few times, but the regularity of it ceased.

Rhonda and I slept together once more after that. We bumped into each other at a club, she was headed in a different direction to her friends. I offered, with no assumptions, to walk her home, and she asked me to stay over.

A mostly forgotten memory of my early 20s, until I bumped into Rhonda's friend yesterday while I was at my parents' house. She'd been living just around the corner for years.