Talking

The conversation with GM continued. I've had terrible trouble finding a someone for a FwB arrangement - it's always ended in trouble because they've wanted more than I could give (FBS, K).

I suggested this to GM when he said that his female friend was happy enough using him for fun (his words). GM said that his experiences were similar to mine when it came to FwB, but he was happy enough letting his female friend call the shots.

That's not going to help, if it all goes wrong. I've done the same thing - I've let the other party know where I stand - and they've slept with me knowing that... but it still comes back to haunt me afterwards.

I'd love a proper FwB for a bit.

Da Doo Run Run.

A message from KfW2:

"I'm doing Couch to 5K after work, wanna join me?"

I hate running, but as USHW says, I'm a sucker for a pretty face. I'm also short on self-motivation for fitness. It was a tempting offer.

"I don't think my legs are up to that these days" I replied.

It's the truth. My Achilles are still temperamental and even a short, gentle run to the bus (100 metres) can often be extremely painful.

"I think I'd need to see a specialist if I wanted to get back into regular exercise" I added.

I don't know if that's strictly accurate - I want to think that my Yoga program would help a great deal, but it would be weeks before I'd see any improvement even if I started today.

Pondering.

USHW sent me a message a little while ago, pointing out a speed dating event. She's done that a few times for me, but I've not managed to book myself in as yet. I'm interested in attending one of these, but would really love some moral support. I'm finding it difficult to go on my own. GM has said that he'd go with me, but the nights tend to coincide with his sports hobby and that takes precedence. I'd suggest it to S, but he'd likely being his "proper" friends or simply not go.

I think I'll message them now and see - it's just over a week away.

Let's talk about sex, baby.

After talking with GM as few days ago when we were at the cinema together (Avengers: Endgame, in case you're interested), he suggested getting The crowd out for some drinks. I was interested - we hadn't been out since GM's birthday a few months ago.

Long story, short: I put the suggestion out there and everyone agreed.

In the lead up to meeting up, S said that he was going to bring along his two mates. His "proper" mates. One's sound, but the other is extremely hard work - selfish, self-centred, opinionated (and usually wrong). GM also said that he was going to invite out a girl he'd met, years ago, on Plenty of Fish. I've mentioned her before in this post.

Suffice to say, it was a good night. I called it quits when the pub closed and the others looked to head to a club, but I'd spent the night chatting to GM about the brunette girl (I'll touch on that in a moment) and dancing away with Mrs FC for at least an hour or so.

GM was telling me about the brunette girl. She was looking for some kind of FWB/fuck buddy arrangement and had been quite open with GM about this (they've slept together only twice over a number of years), but GM remains unconvinced that there's not more in it. It reminded me of K - she threw herself at me, I caved in, we had sex and then the trouble started.

GM is not at that stage yet, or rather she's not. I think he's still smarting a little over the whole Sports Girl thing, plus he's a decent bloke, so he's trying to keep her at arm's length. He's fond of this girl as a friend and doesn't want to hurt her if/when she decides she wants more.

When I left, she was being pushy about staying over at his, but he was resisting. When I messaged him earlier, he admitted that he slept with her. I knew he'd crumble if I wasn't there for support - he has little resistance if it's offered on a plate. And she is really quite cute.

So close, and yet so far.

Judging from Facebook this morning, my first ever crush was out on the town last night, in the pub next door to the one I was in with The Crowd. She lives 80 miles away, I think, so it's rare for her to be in the city. If I'd known that at the time, I might have sent her a message suggesting she popped in for a drink.

Sunshine.

I'm not a sun worshipper. I'm not one of these people who go on holidays solely because it will be sunny, like CC does... is doing this week with her new man (though she might not see too much of the sun). I do like good weather though.

I've spent a short while sitting in the back garden reading a book, listening to the birds, music in the background and even though it's only mid-afternoon, the smell of barbecues lighting... that smoky, meaty smell.

I have a lot of stuff to do, that I should be doing around the house, but when the weather's like that it's hard to motivate myself to do something that requires me being indoors.

Puff.

With another glorious day on the horizon, I gave my bike a quick going over, pumped up the tyres and took it out for a little spin to make sure that everything was fine.

I only did a quick lap of the block and was back, 5 minutes later, confident that the bike was up to bigger challenges.

Bearing in mind that my legs were shaky and I was horrifically out of breath, I'm not sure that I am up to bigger challenges mind you.

Still, my fitness tracker, a Christmas present to myself, showed that it's easy to work (I still haven't read the instructions).

Quick one.

I got a somewhat last-minute text from G asking if I wanted to go to the pub. He was in town for a couple of days. I replied in the affirmative. I had no plans. So we met in my local favourite (the CB pub) to catch up.

Sadly, we weren't out for very long - just over a couple of hours - before G called it a night. But I had a good time, decent chat/catch-up and managed to catch a glimpse of the aloof blonde girl that I've posted about before.

I still can't figure out if she's married, but she seems rather closed off any time I've seen her.

But, it's pretty safe to say that the CB pub is her local and she's there most Saturday nights.

Oh la la.

I think the good weather beings something out in me. I'm happier, more optimistic, hornier and just generally in an all-round better mood.

I've been back onto the online dating apps this week - specifically Tinder (my Plenty of Fish profile was deleted a few months ago). As I've no doubt said before, part of the problem of online dating where I live is that the catchment area is so small. The same faces pop up again and again. Sometimes they pop up several times a week (which implies that there's either an error in Tinder itself or they reset their accounts).

I find that annoying unless it's someone I want to meet. And the past few days have thrown up some familiar faces - a celebrity of sorts (I may have mentioned her before) and one of CC's friends who I matched with previously but never got to contact. Obviously I swiped right on both of them. I actually Super Liked the brunette. I don't know what that does at her end -  I assume it shows up as  match without her having to swipe on me. I actually did it a few times this week - she's appeared at least twice and I've Super Liked both times. She has a KfW2 thing going on, physically, so I'll continue to swipe every time she appears.

I had also matched with a pretty foreign girl who's working over here as a nurse, but sadly, despite sending a message, she disappeared after a week without answering.

And another match with what I think was a bot - she messaged telling me she was deleting Tinder and to get in touch.

Oh, and then there was this...

Oh dear.

Elementary.

Off the back of this post from a while ago, where I was pondering if MMBF was dating a friend (possibly an ex-boyfriend) of hers, it looks like a post on Facebook today has confirmed that.

Lots of "oh, enjoy your romantic trip!" comments on a photo of MMBF and said male friend.

MMBF's still looking good, even as a blonde these days.

I still don't know if said male friend is an ex, or if this is just an old friendship that has blossomed a la KfW2 and her husband.

Random thoughts

I had an hour in the pub at lunch with some work colleagues where upon we ended up having a couple of pints in the Spring sunshine.

Day time drinking is awesome. There's something about chilling, having a drink while the wider world goes about their daily routine.

It also, inexplicably, gets me drunk faster. After only two points, I was well on the road to being tipsy.

Being tipsy means three things to me: I get giggly, I get sleepy and I get horny.

And there's still two hours to go until I can get home.

FFS.

Tumbleweed.

It's been a bit quiet around these parts recently. The main reason is that I don't have either anything interesting to report or useless guff running around my head that I want to share. The secondary reason is that I'm simply very tired, though for no obvious reason that I can identify.

I had a conversation with Quiet Girl this morning, talking about all manner of things. She actually came over to me for a chat. And that, dear reader, is probably the highlight of the past few weeks.

I guess that I should note that another girl has recently moved across the room from us. Ordinarily that wouldn't even warrant attention except that when I danced with QG years ago at the Xmas party, this other girl, who I thought was her friend, was egging her on.

The lack of posting seems weird given the posting frenzy I've been on the past few months.

Another anniversary.

Eight years ago, Facebook tells me, CH and I became friends. I can remember the first night we met and chatted, but I can't remember what prompted the Facebook friend request. Did I initiate it, or did she?

I had actually been thinking about her recently, within the past few days, but only from the perspective of being disappointed in how quickly our friendship deteriorated.

Even last year, at a time where it would have been nice to chat with her for an hour or so due to personal things going on, she managed to make it all about her.

Ah well... Happy Facebook anniversary CH.

Oh dear.

There are few things as tiring as waiting around all day, without any control over what's happening. That's what happened late last week. A family member went to A&E after a fainting incident. Nothing serious, but I think they were shaken up. They went at 6 AM, called me soon after, I arrived at 9 AM and I left at 7 PM.

The staff were brilliant - this is not a rant against the NHS - but the waiting around was a killer. By the time we'd arrived, bloods had been taken and were being analysed. A few hours after I arrived, there were x-rays and MRI scans. A few hours later again, we saw a consultant who advised an overnight stay for monitoring (though he had admitted there was nothing in any test so far to be wary of). And it was, again, another few hours before there was a bed available.

By the time I got back home - after 8 PM - I was ready for bed.

It took me a good few days to get that fatigue out of my system.

Sigh.

Sometimes, KfW2 can be infuriating. We have a system in work whereby we can regonise colleagues for going above and beyond with a system of giving points. At the end of the year, these points can be redeemed for rewards. Often, you don't have to do an awful lot - maybe answer a question for someone, quickly and with authority. Or fix a minor though troublesome issue.

KfW2 really buys into this to the point of "bullying" people into giving her points.

She asked me to give her points a few days ago, but I had nothing left to give and, more importantly, no reason to actually give her points.

"Where are mine?" I asked. Over the course of the past month I've helped her with some graphical design work, helped her figure out at least a couple of technical issues with her PC.

"You don't give me, I don't give to you"

I sighed.

"That's not how it works."

We moved on to other topics.

A few days later, the subject of reward points was raised again. I told her how many I had. I can't be sure but I could be on track for the biggest score in the department that is usually rewarded with a fairly decent prize on top of the other rewards.

"What? How did you get that?"

There's an undercurrent of something in her tone. Jealousy? Disbelief? Anger?

Sometimes I think KfW2 views her professional life as a zero sum game - others can only do well if she does well herself. Her giving me reward points should have no bearing at all on her getting reward points off me, should she deserve them, but that's not how she sees things.

It can be incredibly frustrating, especially as her friend as well.