Ah well.

Around this time of year, I'm usually in the middle of making arrangements for a big day out for me and KfW2. I can't remember the last time she came out for it though. It must be a good couple of years at least.

Also, I say for me and KfW2, but really I end up inviting The Crowd and other friends like CC or FP to join us. That's just kinda how it evolved.

I still remember the first one we had and KfW2 leaving a long, rambley, but sweet, voicemail in her taxi home that I didn't pick up 'til the next day.

That's part of the reason why I adore KfW2. I've had other female friends that I've been close to - AM and QC1 are probably the two prime examples, but apart from AM once admitting a bit of jealousy that I'd been spending time with QC1, I don't recall anyone ever showing that level of... affection? Is that the right word? Let's go with that.

Heck, I've had girlfriends who haven't shown that level of affection.

Still, with the pandemic ongoing and no real end in sight, there will be no big day out this year, for me, KfW2 or anyone else.

Stuff.

I either didn't learn my lesson from last week (see this post), or I forgot. I'll let you decide, dear reader. But I woke at 3am with crippling stomach issues after a large (though not excessive) KFC and two cans of beer later in the evening.

I finished reading my book while waiting for the drugs to kick in, which was after 5AM, so I didn't wake until after 10AM this morning.

I was also surprised by a visit from FC and Mrs FC last night, who arrived at my front door while FP was here. The FP visit was pre-arranged. So we awkwardly stood in the four corners of the room, chatting, and trying to maintain social distancing to the best of our ability.

It was nice to see them all. The only visitor I've had recently has been CC who has been incredibly hard work - just constant complaining... and when we do get into conversations, I fundamentally disagree with her opinions on things, which mainly stem from her being selfish.

Just pondering.

For some reason, I got to pondering reliability this morning. I don't know why it popped into my head, but it kinda went from AM to CH to MfW and then Near Miss.

Near Miss has nothing to do with reliability, but the train of thought had evolved at that point and included KfW2.

Mainly it was considering how some people can be unreliable in their private lives but then supposedly take on important management roles where the very things that were IMO lacking in their private lives become important professionally.

AM and KfW2 are (or were) rubbish at time-keeping. While it's no longer an issue with AM (due to lack of contact rather than a change in her behaviour), she was habitually late when we socialised together and it was always passed off as a joke. It's similar to KfW2 who, according to people who have known her longer than I have, used to be hours late. She even admitted to being hours late to a date who hadn't fucked off home. Though, to be honest, if I were on a date with KfW2, I'd hang around too.

While there has been the odd time where KfW2 has been late to something we've arranged, she has managed to be mostly on-time, even in comparison to her time-keeping with other friends.

My issues with CH's reliability are well documented on this blog and really I suspect they had little to do with time-keeping and planning and more to do with trying to deal with feelings she had (i.e. non-platonic towards me).

Eventually, MfW came into the picture. MfW is also now management, but rather than time-keeping, MfW's issue is a lack of empathy and selfishness. Having lived with the guy, I'd hate to have him as a boss.

It was only once MfW popped into my head that Near Miss popped into my head, for the reasons stated above: selfishness. The night I met Near Miss, once it became apparent that her friend was not interested in MfW, his attitude changed to the point where I believe he cock-blocked me. He became very cold and dismissive towards Near Miss and her friend to the point where they ordered a taxi and left abruptly when I was trying to get Near Miss to come back to my house.

Oh crumbs!

I managed to break my toaster at lunchtime simply by emptying the crumb tray. Now, I don't want to admit how bad it was, but let's just say that the toaster kinda came with the house, and this was the first timer it had been emptied since I moved in. Gross.

Ah well, let's see if there are any decent toasters in the various Black Friday sales, shall we?

Touching Point (revisited)

I went searching for this post earlier. For some reason I thought that I'd originally posted it at the start of the year, not a few weeks ago. 

The feeling hadn't really gone away, just faded into the background somewhat... but it has raised its head with a vengeance today. I woke up feeling touch-starved and that has carried into the early after noon with no sign of abating.

I don't know what brought it on - I slept well last night and can't remember any dreams, but I'd kill for a hug or someone who cuddle with on the sofa.

Random musings.

I'm re-watching Battlestar Galactica (the 2003 version) from the start and was reminded about how much I was taken by Tricia Helfer, as Number Six, back in the day.

What's not to like? I especially like the short, bleached hair combo, even now.

Yawn

I barely slept last night due to stomach problems, which are becoming more and more frequent. I'm unsure if it was the large KFC I had delivered (which was delicious), or the cans of Guinness I had whilst playing some online games with e-friends, or maybe both.

Regardless, I woke after a couple of hours and couldn't get back to sleep until it was nearly time to get up. I ended up dozing until after 10 AM.

The thing is, the stomach problems don't happen immediately. It's not an immediate reaction, it's something that only manifests itself in the middle of the night. I've always had stomach problems, but they were mainly heartburn-like - acid indigestion when eating too fast or having something that didn't agree with me (Pernod is a prime example), but it's only within the last few years  that it's started manifesting itself like this, and the frequency has been increasing.

Facts

 Today, I wore trousers (jeans) for the first time in about two months. Just pandemic, WFH things y'know?

Motivation

The number of posts over the past few months has been lower than the first part of the year. I think that the ongoing pandemic is now, obviously, taking its tool on me. A least from a blogging perspective. I'm still having the same random thoughts and weird dreams, but despite the free time, I've little actual motivation to sit and type out stuff.

Motivation for a lot of things has been draining away, to be honest, and I'm not the most motivated person in the world at the best of times.

I think it's the lockdown and Winter combo. Dark nights, cold days and a lack of face to face human interaction are not a good mix, even for someone who enjoys his own company like I do.

Sigh.

I can't remember the overall dream last night, but I can remember that both KfW2 and one of my high school crushes was in it, and travel was also involved, though actual destinations are unknown. It was definitely not the UK though.

Ultimately, I remember looking at a set of photos of my travels that had selfies of me and one of KfW2/the crush.

It's not surprising then that I woke this morning feeling more than a little lonely and having a strong desire to travel. Oh, and it was Monday as well. Sigh.

Bah!

I fancied a bit of a sweet treat, but I had nothing specific in the house - chocolate, biscuits or suchlike. I did remember seeing a recipe for a quick microwave mug brownie. That would hit the spot, even without some ice cream or whipped cream for it.

So, off I popped to the kitchen at Chez Ruuude. Five minutes later and I was tentatively lifting a hot mug of chocolatey brownies goodness out of the microwave.

Except it was horrid.

I had my suspicions - it did look a bit dry when I'd finished mixing the ingredients. And I did use almond milk (it didn't call out specifically dairy milk, but it's all I had).

Now I'm treat-less and sad. I could try and tweak the recipe to add a little bit more moisture, but I've lost the urge. I had really hoped it would be delicious straightaway.

Have a go yourself and let me know how you get on:

BBC Good Food (Delicious) Mug Brownie

Status Update: Week 29

Another quick update: same weight as last week. A bit of portion control was the extent of my dietary management for last week, but I did hit the booze pretty hard at the weekend.

Oh. 232.1 lbs if you want the actual number.

Random wafflings

 I'm on my second cup of coffee made with almond milk. I'm not sure that I like it.

Status Update: Week 28

Quick update: 232.1 lbs which I think is pretty much the same as last week.

On the diet front, I have made inroads into introducing a more protein-focussed diet, but that's gonna need tweaking as time goes on.

Plans

In a conversation with a friend today, he was celebrating the fact that, when lockdown is over, groups of up to four will be able to visit the pub again. He was gloating because he hasn't been in the pub since late summer.

I countered that with a date in mid-March. That was the last time I was in the pub and I explained that I was frustrated because my early Spring months had been looking great from a social perspective.

Between mid-March and the end of April there were tentative plans for a few nights out with FP, at least one night out with The Crowd, a night out with FBS, D, Friction Guy and my long-awaited night out with KfW2.

Actually, the dates hadn't even been discussed with KfW2 about that night out, but when she talked about it (and she had mentioned in a few times in the lead up to the lockdown), she was suggesting it would be sooner rather than later.

Sigh. I miss those guys.

Out of the blue.

I made a post last week about cute women doing physical stuff - sports, rambling, that kind of thing - and a desire to meet someone like that. Well, that turned into a dream last night where I went hill walking with my sister's really cute friend. At this stage, this was just a walk, chatting, getting to know each other. It was late autumn or early winter - cold, though no snow or anything.

However, when we came home, then things turned sexual. She asked for a massage due to walking for miles up and down massive hills and when I agreed to do so, she stripped to her underwear, displaying an amazing, toned body.

As the massage ended and started turning into foreplay, this was when I woke up.

I've always found the cute uni friend to be attractive, but we don't know each other, we've never spoken beyond saying "hi" to each other when she's visited my sister and we both lived with our parents. I've swiped right on her Tinder profile numerous times (she pops up once a month or so), though we've never matched (and my privacy obsession means I don't know what I'd do if we did match). And, to be honest, despite the toned physique, I'm getting a gf crush vibe off her, like I did with CB rather than anything lusty, so her appearance in that dream, in that way last night is somewhat confusing.

And frustrating.

Status Update: Week 27

Magic number: 232.1 lbs

While I didn't do any calorie counting, I was more aware of what I was eating last week. So it was with some relief that I found myself over 3lbs down on last week.

I have a massive Tesco shop coming in the morning, and I've targetted a higher protein intake and carb reduction (I love my carbs). I need to further investigate recipes for this, but what I have seen so far is encouraging in terms of something I would enjoy and easy to cook.

I'm also experimenting with plant-based milk and meat alternatives, but that's not related to weight loss.