The work saga continues...

The work situation has started getting serious. My boss is starting to get at me for really minor things that aren’t, in my opinion, issues at all. She still refuses to accept that my current unhappiness is at least partially her concern and I’m being left to try and sort it out myself. That won’t happen because, without the backing of my management hierarchy, HR won’t listen to me. There are other issues at stake too, but from what’s been happening over the past few weeks, it could easily be implied that there is bullying or harassment going on. I think I’m going to escalate this next week after I do some research into whether HR have a responsibility to look after their employees welfare. Common sense dictates that they should, but it’ll be interesting to see what the legal standpoint is on this.

Contact!

I’ve heard back from both K and R2. I’ve sent replies, but there’s no sign of conversations developing.

Wow!

I had lunch today with QC1, which was great as I don't see her as often as I should, but today's meeting had something different in it... QC1 asked if I'd be interested in a blind date! Apparently, she knows a friend of a friend who's blonde, slender, active, single and looking.

I don't like being put on the spot, so I told QC1 I'd consider it. The thing is, it took me about 30 secs to find this girl on Facebook once I came home from work and, if I'm being brutally honest, looks-wise, she's not doing anything for me.

Secondly, I've never been on a blind date, so I'm not entirely sure of the etiquette involved, but I'd far rather these things were done under different circumstances e.g. QC1 arranges to meet me in the pub while this other girl is in attendance, making everything much more relaxed.

Thirdly, this girl on Facebook, is a friend of one of my cousins. I'm incredibly private and really quite anal about it, so this would play on my mind that I couldn't see how things went without the family knowing about it.

Both JB and one of E's friends have already told me I should go for it and I probably will, but not with any ideas about dating... but rather just to get out of the house and meet someone new. Christ knows that I've complained about that often enough.

Being pro-active.

So, in an attempt to be pro-active (I believe that you make your own luck, so by being pro-active, can affect good things... a karma kind of thing), I've sent R2 a message on Facebook. I don't know if she'll remember me, but if she does, it'll be nice to catch up. We might even get out for a drink or a coffee. Who knows?

Reflection

I'm in one of those phases where everything appears to be going against me in various degrees. The job situation is still very poor and the one glimmer of hope that I did have has now been well and truly extinguished, even though I don't believe my employers didn't act within the law. So I'm now undecided about what to do... I can remain where I am and hope something comes up internally, or look elsewhere which I'm reluctant to do in the current economic climate. There's also the fact that the new job might have also required a bit of travel to the States and that would have afforded a chance to catch up with V too. The travel itself would have been nice and a good change of scenery, so that entire package was very enticing.

I treated myself to a new graphics card for my PC in the hope it would help me run a few games better and cheer me up, but it looks like either something's failed internally or I need a new power unit to give my PC a kick which is more money (that I can afford, but this is still an inconvenience and an extra expense that I didn't need).

The online dating thing is something that annoys me. The two outstanding women I've seen haven't made any attempt at reply, not even a rejection, which is extremely annoying. There haven't been too many other people that even come close, so I'm reconsidering my membership (again). I think things might be different if I post a photo, but I am quite private, don't like my photo being taken and I'm kinda embarassed that I can't meet people offline and I come from a place where everyone knows everyone else, so I'm trying to find a few photos that are of me, but not close up face shots... or I would if my PC weren't in about ten pieces.

Socially, things have been slow, but the job situation is a real downer on everything at the moment really and I'm in such a bad mood that I'm not in the mood for the gym or anything else, really. I really should make the effort though.

Downer.

Suddenly, out of the blue this evening, I had this huge pang of something... regret? Desire? Something else? I can't quite put my finger on it, but it involved RB and for the life of me, I can't think why. There was this wish that things had turned out differently and we'd actually made a stab at dating each other, rather than her getting scared about some kind of baggage she was carrying. I don't know what brought it on but even now a few hours later the feeling is still lingering a little, if not as intense as it was earlier.

Weird.

A nice surprise.

Somewhat out of the blue, I've just received a friend request from QC3 on Facebook. I've not spoken to her in, I dunno, probably about 5 years, but I'm glad she's sent the request. I hope it turns into some kind of meaningful contact.

The work thing.

So, I got a bit of unofficial bad news last night, just before leaving work. That position that I was after has been apparently filled externally, leaving me stuck in my present role and angry, frustrated and well, angry at lots of things, not least the management hierarchy in work that I think has continually failed me over the last six or seven weeks.

I'll need to see what the actual situation is, come Monday, but I'm really not that confident in my superiors right now and if I can't even get a role that I'm 90% or better suited for, how am I ever going to get out nof this current role?

I fear that next week could see me brush up my C.V. and start looking externally for jobs - something I don't want to do because I do like working for my current employers with the benefits they offer... but if I stay and continue doing this role, then one day in the near future, I'm going to go into work and go postal on someone.

The online dating thing.

I finally got around to sending an email to the second girl that's taken my fancy on Match.com. I think I did a good job on it too – a bit witty, lots of references to her profile and a few questions in order to prompt her to reply. That was a week ago and I've not heard anything from her. Mind you, she wasn't even online for over a week, only re-appearing yesterday. I'll give her another few days to reply and then I'm going to re-consider my online dating experiment. I've messaged two girls so far and heard not one thing in return… not even one of the automatic rebuttal messages that the site offers. Pretty damned shocking if you ask me.

Fat Bastard

Over the course of this summer, I've been out at the pub quite a lot and, coupled with two injuries – back and Achilles tendon – I've not been exercising. As a result I've put on around a stone (14 lbs/6.35kg). That's shockingly over-weight… a stone and a half heavier than I'd like to be and I'd imagine much more than is really healthy. I think that's probably a case of "be careful what you wish for" as I was moaning about not being as social as I'd like before the summer.

So, with that in mind, I'm really cutting down on the booze this month. The only night I have penciled in is this Friday for the usual work's bash. I have four cans of beer in the fridge and that's going to do me until October. On top of that, I'm cutting down heavily on the amount of Coke/Pepsi that I drink. By my reckoning (based on rough figures), that would cut around 4700 calories a week.

I'll try and tinker with my diet too which could be a lot better if I'm being honest, but I think the alcohol and soft drinks are a bigger factor than what I'm eating.

If I get back into the gym and football again, I'm still aiming to exercise at least three times per week which should go a fair way to actually dropping some weight.

It's not just a vanity thing with this online dating experiment I'm running… there are days when I feel uncomfortable and bloated, so my goal is to drop at least a stone and a half.

Work problems.

In terms of the work thing, things are still very much up in the air. The one shot that I have of getting out of my present role has disappeared off the radar, though is definitely not dead in the water. I'm still following up on leads where I can get them, but this is a painfully slow process when more concrete details should have been made available long before now.