Today, I have been mostly thinking about...

USHW and how she's getting on with her offline life. I hope things are going well...

Where should I be?

Tonight is the gym night out. I should be there, I suppose. I keep moaning about how much my social life sucks ass, and I think GC was going to be there, too. I have an inkling that she's interested, but I'm not even 20% certain that she is (or that she's even single or that I'm even interested).

There are two reasons: the bar in which the soiree is happening and the fact I'm skint until pay day. The skint thing could be overcome - at least to scrape enough together for a night out, but the motivation is gone due to the bar which I detest. If it had been another bar, chances are, I would have made the effort.

On a positive note, I heard from USHW today who very kindly presented me with an Amazon voucher in return for a roof over her head at our recent get together with a group of acquaintances in April. That's already been put to good use.

Hmmm.

Was it just me or was CG, my personal trainer, really disappointed that I'm not showing up to an organised night out for the gym members on Friday night? Ordinarily, I'd have jumped at the chance, but it's a bar/club that I detest because it's far too dark and doesn't play music that I like. I couldn't even pretend to like the place I hate it so much.

I do, however, know a few bars that GC does like. I might see her around one of those as they're haunts that I frequent, too.

I am going to be single FOREVER!

OK, after yesterday's post, I decided to see what kind of woman was available on a dating site, so I created a free profile at match.com (and I'm not telling you what I called myself) and set up a search to see if any ladies that took my fancy were available.

From my search results, I have now decided that every single woman under the sun thinks she is spontaneous (but it still takes them an hour to dress before leaving the house), likes fine wine and restaurants (and I hate wine and eating out). Not a good start then!

Not too many girls are into footy either, I've noticed. Not that I'm a big footy fan - I'll watch my team, but I'm not footy obsessed. In fact, apart from a few physcial features, there's not much on dating websites for me.

Looks like it's back to getting drunk down the pub and lusting after gorgeous (but probably taken) girls. Heh, heh.

Mind fuck.

Bit of a mind fuck day today. Was having a discussion with A regarding online dating. This was brought on by the fact that I met a couple in the pub last night who had met through an online dating site: match.com to be precise. I've never considered the use of online dating sites for a number of reasons. The main one is that, most of the time, being single doesn't bother me, even with a lack of any casual action in between relationships. Obviously I do get a bit lonely from time to time and there are moments when having someone there to hug, to watch telly with, to cuddle (and yes, to fuck) would be most welcome. The female I was talking to was very cute, very intelligent and good fun. I wonder why she felt she had to join a site? On the plus side, it's good to know that females on dating sites aren't all desperate mingers!

Other things are seen to be much more acceptable. Speed dating, for example, is taking off in a big way here in the U.K. and it doesn't have the stigma attached to it that online dating does. I've no qualms about meeting people online - I've done it many times over the course of the past five years that I've been an internet regular with my online responsibilities. Some people have been friends and others have been more than that (for a day or so - no relationships). I'm not sure why this subject ended up occupying my thoughts for most ofd the day - I'm fairly happy at the moment, so it's not as if I'm on the lookout for female companionship. That's part of the confusion.

So, I was saying to A that there weren't too many people from our mutual internet venture that I'd consider dating and that actually going looking to these people for a romatntic relationship was something I'd never considered. That was a slight fib. There was one person that, if the geography had been right, I might have made a move for. Her name was M. I haven't seen or heard from M in nearly three years. I left the country about three years ago and we kept in touch vis MSN and email until she suddenly returned to her parent's house and lost internet contact. Her disappearance was so sudden that I didn't get a chance to get an address or anything off of her. Apart from the odd fleeting glimpse of M on MSN (where we swapped pictures and she looked gorgeous), that's been it. I've tried to leave her messages via our mutual venture, but they've gone unanswered.

Until today.

The first time in ages I think of her, and she makes an appearance. Luckily, rather than just swap stories and history, I was sensible and got her email address. Now, if she doesn't appear on the mutual venture anymore, I can still get in contact. Nothing's goping to happen romantically though. I know that now. The geography is still a huge negative factor and she's been seeing a bloke for about a year and they could be moving in together. It still brought about a pang of disappointment though.

I'm still not sure why this has fucked with my head apart from the co-incidence of thinking of M and her appearance. Maybe it's partly the lack of sleep from the weekend. Things might be a bit clearer later in the week after some proper sleep.

I'll let you know.

Bad habits.

I know that I keep neglecting the blog. I don't mean to, it's just that I've never been comfortable giving out information about myself, even innocent facts about going to the gym or shopping or whatever. My friend, USHW, kept asking me to do it and I do enjoy posting when I remember, though I miss her feedback and questions on the occasional post.

I've not done much over the past few days. I've struggled to the gym once or twice, but not before work (which is my eventual aim as going after work requires more motivation). My nephew was around today and I got a few hours to play with him. Work's trundling along nicely at the moment - I seem to have fallen into place as my boss's second in command (completely unofficially, of course) which is nice to have as a vote of confidence and should help me in future, but there are other factors (that I don't want to go into here) that make it a frustrating experience, too.

The social life still sucks ass, although it has been slightly busier over the past few weeks. It should continue to be busier than usual for another few weeks, but who knows what's going to happen beyond that?

Argh!

My arms feel like jelly. GC may well be easy on the eye, but she's bloody tough. I did about an hour tonight and it bloody near killed me. On a scale of one to ten where one is sitting on the couch and ten is dying, I reckon I hit about an eight a few times tonight.

I'm hoping that things will go well and I'll get more into the gym though. I really need to lose the weight and I really want to tone up my tum area.

The way forward.

I had a friend visit over the weekend and much time was spent in the pub discussing our relative love lives (or lack thereof). We came to the conclusion that we both need to be pro-active in searching for female friends. It's probably a valid point - my point of view when I'm out with friends, looking out for girls seems rude (after all I choose to go out with my friends, why then ignore them?) Maybe I should change this point of view.

Secondly, if/when I do see someone, I really should be more forward in making contact. I used to be terrible shy, but I'm not that bad these days, so it shouldn't really be an issue.

So, I'm looking forward to seeing me get more success in the coming months...