Nice to see you... (Part 2)

One thing that I meant to add, that was brought up in conversation last night, was FC sharing his view that he had the same first impression of KfW2 that GM had. Namely, they both thought she was an extremely attractive woman, but were surprised at how grounded she was. I know that GM has mentioned this to me numerous times. It's clearly something he feels strongly about.

And they're not wrong. I always got the impression that KfW2 wasn't aware of how attractive she was.

Nice to see you...

It required more work than I would have liked, but I did get to meet with FC and Mrs FC for a few drinks. We started the night in their local before moving on to CB Pub.

S was out and about with his mates, but promised to pop in. However, that plan changed when one of his mates got uncontrollably drunk.

GM, despite reading all the messages in the group chat, never said a word, nor did he show up. That's really disappointing.

So, it was a fun night. Nothing newsworthy happened, but it was nice to finally catch up with the two of them. Bar a quick 5-minute conversation a few weeks back, that was the first I'd seen them in person in over a year. The Chloe night for FC and much longer for Mrs FC.

Hello?

Unsurprisingly, KfW2 messaged earlier to say she couldn't make it this afternoon. It wasn't unexpected. Firstly, the weather is appalling, so getting out to do stuff with her and her kids would have been a wet, cold and muddy affair. Secondly, she's taking her family on holiday tomorrow for a week, so the last thing she needs is her kids generating more washing.

And, let's remember, it's KfW2. So I wonder if she's actually packed and she probably has a lot of washing to do anyway.

So that means that tonight's potential meeting with The Crowd is my last chance saloon for doing any socialising this year. FC promised he'd be in touch when he gets back home (he's been with his parents this week). I've still heard nothing from S or GM in the same chat. I am being slightly pessimistic and predicting that, because of the weather, he'll stay another day and won't be back in town for socialising tonight.

While the weather is awful and it wouldn't be bad just hunkering down for the day, I would like to see people. Ideally, that would have been KfW2, but anyone at this stage would do.

y a w n

For the third time in a week, I've had a sleepless night. I went to bed around 11 PM, woke around 130 AM and that was me til this morning.

If I hadn't had to take a trip into town to pick up KfW2's brolly from lost and found, I'd have stayed in bed for a bit. I've got a headache, my eyes hurt and I am so, so tired.

While I can't say that the recent family stuff is at the forefront of my mind during these periods of insomnia, they have to be the main factor. I hope this sorts itself out soon. The New Year is going to be busy.

Cheers!

The thing with my group WhatsApp chat with The Crowd is that they seem very reluctant to reply to a message even if it's a direct question or a suggestion around meeting. It's hugely frustrating. So, I was glad when FC replied earlier, to the suggestion I made yesterday about drinks on Saturday night. It looks as if he, and Mrs FC, are almost definitely coming out.

Nothing from S or GM though... yet.

I don't think S will be out. He'll be saving himself for NYE and his "proper" friends. God knows what's going through GM's mind these days. I think he's dating someone new, so that might come into play, but he's seemingly been active enough socially over the holidays if facebook is to be believed.

Nice to see you...

Breakfast with Nerdy Girl was fun this morning, and coffee-fuelled, which was much needed after another poor night's sleep. I think it's the changeable weather (it was warm here, now it's cold and windy) with a touch of the family stuff that's going on. it was great catching up with her as it's been a few months since we last met.

We parted, but I suggested that I'd give her a call in a few days to maybe get a walk next week.

When I got home, I remembered that I needed to go into town to get the umbrella that I left behind in the taxi when I was out with KfW2. Oops. Looks like that's a tomorrow-morning job.

The End...

And it's finally complete. I've replaced the images that were lost a few weeks ago in all of the blog posts. Some posts have the same pictures, some have completely different images. For the older posts, I've tried to get images from around that same timeframe, just for consistency.

I've also deleted numerous posts, from various years, most from this current year where I posted a selection of attractive celebs just for the sake of it because I was bored, funking or plain horny.

Even saying that, it looks like this year will be a bumper year with the highest post count. And it could have been much higher had I posted half the stuff that crossed my mind when FP was ill or the family stuff that's been ongoing since the end of November. Like, there are easily another dozen or so posts that could have been that would have taken me over the 300 milestone.

Hello again

I've reached out to everyone who would be social now that Christmas is done and dusted for another year: KfW2, The Crowd and Nerdy Girl.

Nerdy Girl has already replied. She couldn't meet this morning (my original suggestion), but we're meeting tomorrow for coffee or breakfast.

I sent a message to KfW2 and she replied almost immediately, suggesting I head to hers this evening. But it wouldn't be just me, her parents are heading down. There are three things in play here. 

Firstly, I had planned to get some house stuff done today - small tasks that have been building up over the past few months, plus some cleaning. I was in the headspace for it and everything, so KfW2's suggestion that I go to her place would have meant that a lot of the tasks wouldn't have been done. Related to this, is my introversion. I need time to get myself into a state of mind where I am open to socialising, and KfW2 simply wasn't giving me that time. However, we have tentatively arranged to meet on Saturday afternoon.

Secondly, it's her parents being there. That's a family thing. I know I'm close with KfW2. I know her parents like me. But it's a family thing, and I'd not feel comfortable, even though I know no one else would have an issue.

And thirdly, getting home might be a struggle. Ordinarily, that's not a problem, but I've already got plans with Nerdy Girl tomorrow (and I had those in place prior to KfW2 getting in touch), and I couldn't guarantee that I'd get home tonight. If that were the case, I'd probably not be back at mine tomorrow until lunchtime.

So, yeah. Let's hope that Saturday works out. If not, it's KfW2's birthday soon, and I'll try and see her then.

Finally, I sent a message to The Crowd's group chat suggesting drinks on Saturday evening. No one's said anything so far, but the suggestion is out there.

And I'm looking forward to seeing everyone if these plans actually come to fruition.

Happy Christmas!

Happy Christmas everyone. I hope that you are having, or have had, an excellent Christmas.

Sadly, Santa never delivered Jessica Alba, so have a picture of Sabrina Lynn instead.

Phew

I think that's me done with Christmas prep for this year. Pressies are bought, though if I am being honest, I copped out with my brother-in-law's present with just vouchers. But all cards have been bought, vouchers are printed, and cash is in envelopes for nieces and nephews. All I need to do is chill out, and I do feel better for it.

While I got some sleep last night, I wouldn't say it was great quality and I am still knackered today after Thursday night's sleepless night.

But, there's footy on the TV later, which I'll enjoy with a few beers and maybe even Die Hard this evening, seeing as it's Christmas.

Woohoo!

The effort in trying to replace the missing images continues. I'm now into 2023 and have about 40 posts left to fix. That should take me about an hour, which I might even get around to later today or tomorrow.

*yawn*

I had another one of my insomnia nights last night. I can't remember if I've posted about them before. I would usually have a few per year, but this is my third this month. While I don't have any demons buzzing around my head, I think it's safe to say that it's all related to the real-life stuff that's going on and is mostly subconscious. I can barely keep my eyes open and have a splitting headache already.

It's never really a good time to have this stuff happen (apologies for being vague, but I'm not ready to post about it as yet), but this time of year feels worse for several reasons, but primarily, it's difficult to make a routine around it.

I won't be able to do that until the New Year, and while I can distract myself until then (potentially meeting KfW2, Nerdy Girl and The Crowd amongst others), the start of 2024 is going to be tough.

Picture perfect.

I told you that I was very drunk on Sunday, didn't I? Well, I'd completely forgotten that someone took pictures of us. KfW2 sent them over on Monday while we were chatting and semi-arranging something after Xmas.

But she never posted them on Facebook. There's nothing bad about them. It's not like we were kissing or I was manhandling her or whatever. I know CH has actually deleted photos from her phone for similar reasons. And there's certainly been photos where we look a lot more intimate/close.

And I dunno what to make of it. She's been on a Christmas season posting frenzy this month, so her not posting about this feels off. But it could just be me being paranoid or overly worried about nothing due to pretty much running on empty, from a mental health perspective. Or it could be that she's still conscious of us being close friends though she's married and I'm single.

I wish it didn't bother me.

DIY SOS

CC called in last night while viewing a house in the area. She's trying out house development as a backup career. Once again, she told me (not advising or suggesting) to do the things I needed to get done to my house. As I think I've blogged about before, it's not that I don't want to get these things done, and I can afford to, it's that I can't get people to give me quotes. I get disheartened, give up for a bit, try again and the cycle repeats.

At this stage, I give up. I value opinions and suggestions. I do not do well with being told, and CC has a form for it. And then, the tone changed. It did become softer, with more suggestions than telling. And the final piece of the puzzle... she'd help me.

I'm all for help. I have ideas about what I want to be done both in terms of functionality, but in terms of aesthetics too. She was impressed with my ideas around decorating, and we parted with the idea that we might meet again in the New Year and see what we could do.

I could get on board with this idea that she would effectively project manage it. She would get experience in project managing work, I'd be paying the money and they would be my ideas. I'd pay her in tea, biccies and dinners. I think this could actually work, though it would be expensive.

Humbug? Bah!

I guess it's about time I posted about how much I dislike Christmas. I've always disliked it, bar a few short years with my sister's kids getting all excited but they're beyond the Santa years now.

I've always felt lonely at Christmas. Bar my relationship with FA2 that covered a few Christmases (even though she was away for them for family) and my brief physical thing with FBS, I've never been with anyone at this time of year.

Within the past few years, though, I've started getting anxious about it as well on top of the loneliness. Anxious about getting the right present and making sure I've got everything bought on time.

Recent events have sucked out my remaining energy for this year. The couple of social events that I've done have given me a distraction, which has helped and seeing KfW2 and sharing this part of my life have been a huge help.

And yet, you still can't tell people that you don't like Christmas. I recently shared with some co-workers that I didn't like Christmas and was met with the usual accusations of being a Grinch. I stopped short of going off on a rant, but I think that I managed to explain to them how making those comments to anyone was not helpful.

Woohoo!

Off the back of my last post, things are already looking promising. I've heard back from Nerdy Girl and KfW2, both of whom seem very keen to meet and do something, even if something is yet to be decided.

I've tentatively suggested coffee to Nerdy Girl and a date but suggested that we nail down the finer details closer to the time. I'll give KfW2 a shout on Boxing Day to see when she's free and we can decide then what we want to do.

Out and about

Off the back of my last post, I've reached out to KfW2 to see what her availability is like over Christmas, intending to see her again before the year ends. It might be an adult thing, but pubs or dinner. It might be a daytime thing with her kids. I don't really mind at this stage.

There's also an outside chance of seeing The Crowd. I saw FC and Mrs FC on Sunday, for about 2 minutes. I had invited them out for a drink with KfW2, but they were shopping and said they might pop in. Which they did... at closing time. So we made promises to maybe arrange something after Christmas. We'll see if that happens because they're not massively proactive in that kind of thing.

And it's been ages since I've seen Nerdy Girl, so I'll maybe drop her a line and see if she fancies meeting for coffee or something some morning.

Usually, somewhere in there, I'd be meeting with FP at least once. Perhaps Christmas Eve and then some evening after Christmas. That's going to be a big hole.

Urgh.

The thing about me on the day after drinking heavily is that I am horny as hell. It wasn't helped yesterday that my first waking thought was having sex with FBS in her shower. While that did actually happen back in the day, the thought may have come from a dream, though I can't say for sure.

So, not a great start to a day where I was always likely to be extremely frustrated. It was a very pleasant, though extremely frustrating, thought. And that frustration lasted all day.

Pleased to meet you

The night out with KfW2 was, as expected, a great success. It was later than expected. A 1 PM start was first mooted, but by the time we both arrived, it was nearly 4 PM.

I shared my news and she was both incredibly sympathetic and angry at the same time. Sympathetic due to the nature of the news but angry that I hadn't shared with her earlier. That goes back to earlier this year and the fact I only told her about FP's illness literally days before he passed away despite knowing for months. While this time it's different, the life stuff is still unfolding and I deliberately held off from sharing so that I could tell her in person, knowing we had our day out.

And I didn't want to say that I'd been trying to get a hold of her at the start of last week and got no reply.

But, I had a great time, as usual. KfW2 is great company, I value her opinions, advice and viewpoint, and I made sure to tell her that. Some day, I'll need to do it when we're not drinking, because I'm pretty sure she forgets when I tell her that, or that I love her. And I was incredibly drunk by the end of the evening. More drunk than I would have liked. However, that's the price I was willing to pay. I needed the distraction, and it was provided.

But that's only twice we've seen each other this year. I must do better. Maybe we can do something during the Christmas week. Something to ponder, I guess.

Update

So, the pub quiz was good fun. We had a few drinks and I was back home and tucked up in bed by about half past ten.

Chloe wasn't in the bar, which is not entirely unexpected and, sadly, neither was the attractive barmaid I mentioned in this post.

However, KfW2 was in touch to say she has been super busy but was still interested in meeting for drinks on Sunday, though we never nailed down any details. At this stage, I don't see us doing dinner as it's probably too late to think about booking a table somewhere, so it'll be grabbing something overpriced in the Christmas market between bars.

Daydreaming.

There's a somewhat impromptu work night out tonight. A pub quiz. I love pub quizzes. It's also in one of my favourite bars in town (I mention it in this post). Coincidentally, it's one year to the very day that I met Chloe.

I probably should have followed up with Chloe afterwards, though my stance that she was too young and had kids being deal-breakers for me still rings true. But she was fun, she was someone new and who knows?

I'm not gonna lie to you, dear reader, but I was daydreaming yesterday about bumping into her later this evening. What are the odds she's in the same pub on the same day, at the same time, exactly one year apart?

*wink*

Outside of being ill (infrequent) or not getting out of bed all day (not since FA2, I think), this is the earliest that I've changed into my night clothes in decades. Just thought I'd share that. Oh, and I'm on a call with work, half-naked. They don't know that. I'm only sharing with you, dear reader.

Logging blogging.

I've now completed up to the end of 2020 in re-adding images due to the great image purge of 2023 aka my stupidity. I've deleted some posts where they only existed for a specific picture that I couldn't find again. I've deleted some tags that show a post has an image because I can't find the image for it. The others might be tidied up in terms of fixing spelling mistakes, grammar etc.

I still have, essentially, three full years to fix. Wowzer.

Sigh.

Still waiting for something from KfW2. I'm tempted to try and call her one more time then leave it. If Sunday doesn't happen, I don't know what I will do. I'll be angry, frustrated and hugely disappointed. I need it due to the real-life stuff currently happening.

I need the distraction plus I just wanna see KfW2 and I want to share with her what's been going on. I don't like that we're drifting apart, especially with other things that have gone on this year.

Gone missing.

Supposedly, I'm meant to be meeting KfW2 this weekend. I've asked her for a day, and she's suggested Sunday. That totally works for me as I am on annual leave on Monday, so if it gets rowdy, I have a recovery day in place.

However, S is out this weekend. The Crowd were invited months ago, but nothing's been said since. His great unrequited love is over visiting (I can't remember if I've posted about that before), which is always a good night out.

And I do want to see The Crowd again, but if the choice is going out on Saturday or getting KfW2 out on Sunday, then Sunday wins every time, but more so this weekend with my Real Life stuff going on. Plus I want to let KfW2 know what's going on.

But the last answer I got from KfW2 was Thursday last week when she suggested Sunday. I've messaged and called with no reply. This is all reminiscent of what happened in August last year when she went quiet and then didn't like all the decisions that I'd made without her input.

Part of me is being negative and thinking she's double-booked herself or something and doesn't want to say though part of me knows she's busy at this time of year as her husband works in retail and works long days, so she's incredibly busy. Plus she does that bloody Elf on a Shelf that must eat up hours of time.

How low will you go?

A question was posed on a forum I frequent that asked the question about the shortest person we've dated. I can think of three women offhand (if we're taking "dating" in a very loose interpretation): QC1, K and Recruitment Bird.

QC1 was 4'11"

I think K was the same height. 

I don't know exactly how tall RB was, but I remember her being very short. Sub five foot? I dunno, but it was close.

And that provoked some nice, some frustrating memories.

Memory Lane (cont'd)

It hasn't taken that long and I am already up to the middle of 2017 in my "replace the missing photos" project on the blog. As mentioned in my last post, the reminiscing has been nice and even though the new photos might not be identical to the ones that perhaps prompted the posts in the first place, they're reasonably relevant. And any comments on specific photos that I can't find have been updated accordingly.

While 2017 feels quite recent (that's two-thirds of the way through the blog in terms of years, not posts), I don't think I'm two-thirds of the way through fixing the broken posts as I think I really ramped up on the "post some attractive women to cheer myself up" behaviour more recently.

Memory Lane.

Against my better judgement (I need a distraction), I've started trying to replace the images that are missing on the blog. It's going to be a long process, and looking at pictures of attractive, sexy women is not doing me any favours given my last post, but it's also been strangely enjoyable and reading back on some of the older posts on the blog has been a trip down memory lane.

Sigh.

Facebook reminds me that it's the anniversary of the night CH got quite drunk and, I think, wanted to push boundaries. It's unlikely that I would have done anything, though the lust when CH was around was very real.

But it's a timely memory when I'm feeling quite lonely (and this time of year isn't great for me anyway without the real-life stuff that's going on. I might blog about it at a later date, but that's a decision for later. But it also reminds me of a conversation I had with USHW many years ago. I admitted that I had needs and getting myself off just wasn't cutting it. I can't remember if I added that I was lonely and that this was a huge factor in how I was feeling, though I'm pretty sure she knew anyway. If it wasn't part of that specific conversation, it had been mentioned.

And that's kinda how I feel at the moment. I need to blow off some steam, if you catch my drift. I'm feeling very touch starved at the moment and, well, the thought of getting physical with someone I'm comfortable with, who I trust, is extremely appealing right about now. It's not just a hookup or ONS I'm after. It's something more.

Let's go again

OK, so I'm trying something new with photo storage. So here are some pictures of blog favourites Jessica Alba, Emma Willis, Alison Brie, Lucy Verasamy and, I think, Daniela Melchior.

I still don't know what I'm gonna do with the missing images in dozens of historical posts, some of which will be extremely difficult to find again.

Totally random.

Years ago, when The Crowd socialised more frequently, one of my favourite bars was one of the places we'd go to. It's a cracking boozer I first visited while working with FBS, D etc. back in the day. Actually, it's the same bar that I met Chloe in, pretty much exactly 51 weeks ago.

Two barmaids looked similar and we thought they were sisters, though we never got a definitive answer on that. And it was rumoured that they were the owner's daughters. We did a lot of flirting, even though there was never any chance of anything coming of it. And there was the fact that the younger (though cuter) of the two sisters was far too young for me. 

Guess who popped up today as a Facebook friend of Sports Girl's daughter?

Ah FFS.

I think my Imgur album being deleted is my fault. It looks like I violated their TOS by using it to host images for display on this blog, which I don't recall ever reading.

Sigh.

I may go back and try and recreate/re-source the images, but I don't know if I can be bothered. Though it is an excuse to hunt out images of attractive celebrities.

FFS.

For some reason, the album I have on Imgur that was used for all my blog posts has been deleted. All the images on this blog have gone. And I'm struggling to find contact details for Imgur to query this. FFS.

And there it is.

And with that, the challenge set down by Random Internet Woman is done. 30 days, 30 walks. I hit two out of my three goals which were walking every day, walking more than 30 miles over the month and a stretch goal of doing over 40 miles.

I fell just short of the 40 miles by clocking in around 38 miles. The cancelled walk with Nerdy Girl would have seen me easily cross that, but it would have put at risk the daily part of the challenge. All in all, I'm satisfied with how things went.

While it doesn't seem like an awful lot (we're talking roughly 20 minutes per day), it hasn't been easy. Motivation to leave the house has been, at times, tough. There was the leg pain/possible shin splints that seemed like it might be getting a little better. Is the walking just building up the strength in the leg meaning that while the pain does come, it feels like it's getting later into the walk? But, I did all 30 days, and I'm quietly proud of that.

I've been sleeping better and I might have lost some weight (I've not been tracking it, but it feels like it). my back pain has eased, though it is not totally gone. It's more difficult to quantify the mental health aspects. I'm not sure I'm in a better headspace as a direct result of the exercise, and things have been tough this month with work deadlines and family issues to contend with.

I don't know what I'm going to do next. I want to get back into yoga to get some stretching done to address the back pain. I guess, it'll be a combination of walking and yoga. If I walk, I won't do yoga, and vice versa and unless I get a real burst of energy, I'm unlikely to do both on the same day. But I want to continue doing something.

Oh, K.

Out of the blue, I dreamed about K last night. It was a very adult dream if you catch my drift. I was passing through the town where she lives. We bumped into each other, went for a drink and one thing led to another. We adjourned back to my hotel and enjoyed each other all night long.

It's the first time I've thought of K in I don't know how long. It's the first time in ages I can remember a dream and it's the first time in ages that I've had a sex-focused dream.

I will always be disappointed in how and why our friendship faded away, but I am still adamant that most of the blame lies with K herself if you want to call it that.

Looky here.

I made a trip into the office today. Not strictly voluntary because we had some Big Cheeses visiting from head office visiting for a celebration event. We've had a rough year, so I don't think they're reading the room that well.

Regardless, the point of this post was that I bumped into SSCW. We chatted briefly. She was looking mighty fine. We were heading in roughly the same direction, so off we went. She put her arm through mine. A couple of co-workers were leaving at the same time and gave quizzical looks as I walked off. I'm expecting several IMs tomorrow.

Rain check.

Nerdy Girl just texted. She's not feeling well, so can we reschedule until next week? That's not a problem, but I'd been relying on tonight's walk to get across the line, from a challenge perspective.

There's other stuff going on as well, and I'm mentally exhausted.

Countdown.

Nerdy Girl sent a few text messages asking to reschedule our walk, then again, then again. I had no issue with that, but it appeared she had a clash with someone who didn't have a clue what was going on. She explained later that she was doing something with her mum and her mum had gotten confused about dates, hence the rearrangements.

We're back to meeting tomorrow evening, our original plan. I'm both apprehensive and excited. It'll be great to see Nerdy Girl, but it's more about the walk.  This is the first I've done since starting the challenge with Random Internet Woman. And while I've been walking more frequently, I've not done anything over a mile and a half. Will that help me out with the blisters and pain that I usually get after doing six miles with Nerdy Girl? I hope so.

If not, it'll likely be the end of the challenge. I'll be disappointed if that's the case because it'd mean not completing the core goal, which is to get out every day. But I think, if I get today and tomorrow done, I might actually achieve my secondary goals even if Tuesday is the end of the challenge for me.

Hello again.

My apprehension about meeting FP's widow last night was unfounded. It was nice to see her, and I think she needed someone to talk to who wasn't family. We met in CB Pub and I'd thought I'd be out for maybe a couple of hours, tops. However, it was near 11 PM when I returned home, from meeting her at 7 PM. She's having a rough time of it and she still has to deal with the fallout of FP's passing. While they were preparing for the worst, the complications leading to his passing came around a lot quicker than they'd expected and so a lot of the paperwork wasn't completed.

But as we parted, she seemed a little happier than when she'd arrived. She's asked me to do a few favours for her, which I am happy enough to do, so we're likely to see each other soon, albeit not socially.

That's two days in a row I've been social, so I am really looking forward to a day by myself. Perhaps on the sofa with a good film and the new soundbar.

Hear me out.

I treated myself to a soundbar recently. Actually, it's less of a treat and more of a tool because I am pretty sure my hearing is starting to go. I have had tinnitus in my right ear for years. It's started in my left ear, too. If I am out in a crowded place, it's difficult to hear what people say.

My TV's speakers are mounted in the back, often making for muffled sounds. So I bought a cheap-ish soundbar to have forward-facing speakers and I have to say I'm quite pleased so far.

I set it up this morning, turned on the TV to test it out and got side-tracked by Daniela Ruah in NCIS: Los Angeles. Regular readers will be aware that I like certain things in women, and Daniela Ruah ticks a lot of those boxes: athletic, attractive, great smile and nice eyes. And curves.

So, yeah, it was only after watching the TV for around 30 minutes that I remembered why I was sitting in front of the TV and put on something meaty to test it out.

Hurrah.

And the pattern repeats itself. I've always been regarded as being the social one. If I'm working with a group of people that I like, then I'll build team spirit by being social - suggesting lunches, trips into the office etc.

And yesterday was another example of that - we took the afternoon off, hit a few pubs, had a late lunch and came home early-ish. It was all my idea. I arranged it, and cajoled people into attending.

And judging from the messages in the WhatsApp group this morning, people had a great time and are already talking about another one.

Decisions, decisions.

I think I have nailed KfW2 down for doing something social. The problem is that I've already tentatively agreed to see S that weekend. His friend is over from London, and nights out with her are usually great fun.

So I might have to make a decision on that one (no decision really, if they're on the same night, then I'm picking KfW2), but if I get lucky then they'll be on separate nights and I can do both.

I do hope it's the latter. I've not seen The Crowd in months... possibly since the Chloe night from December last year.

Or maybe there's a third option where I can combine the two? I'd much prefer to get KfW2 out on her own seeing as it's been months since I've last seen her, but she might be interested in seeing The Crowd. She got along with them well enough, I think.

Forward thinking.

I was thinking about seeing if Nerdy Girl fancied a walk this week, but then I remembered that I have a habit of finishing our walks in a little pain and with blisters. And I wouldn't want that to put an end to my challenge with Randon Internet Woman seeing as that's currently going quite well, and there's just over a week to go.

I did send her a message to see if she wants a walk early next week. She suggested Tuesday which is pretty much ideal. And even if my feet do hurt and get blisters, I'll have more than done enough to achieve the secondary goal, which is to average more than a mile per day.

Now that I'm getting near the end of the challenge, it's time to think about what my next steps might be (no pun intended). My thoughts from earlier in the month were to try and keep up the walking. It's not a huge distance though it has been difficult at times to motivate myself into going out. But my back pain has eased and my sleep is better. And to build on what I have achieved, I thought maybe about getting back into my yoga. 

USHW, who sent an email just as I started typing this post, suggested easing into that with some stretching first. That's a good idea because while the yoga that I like does involve stretching, I have felt some tightness in my legs as well as some actual pain (shin splints I think) when I try to walk at my normal, natural pace. So maybe that's the plan for December, to start stretching with a view to progressing into my old yoga programme by the end of that month.

HBNV

I'm doing yet another run-through of My Name is Earl (you gotta love those mid-2000s hipster jeans and crop/belly tops) and IMDB shared that it's Nadine Velazquez's birthday today.

Out and about.

After being out two nights in a row with G (rock and roll), I potentially have another few social events this coming week. FP's widow has suggested getting together, and I have an afternoon in the pub with my current co-workers that I'm looking forward to.

That means this is easily the busiest week, socially speaking, I've had in many years.

Get along.

I was out with G last night at a local sporting event. It was cold, raining and windy, but I still had a good time. One thing of note was G randomly telling me that he really liked KfW2 (in a platonic sense). I mean, I've made my own posts before about how awesome I think she is, and GM has been very vocal in sharing his opinion of her. But to the best of my knowledge, KfW2 and G have only met twice and neither time was under great conditions.

That's by the by. I love it when two friends get along. And KfW2 is my closest friend and G is my oldest friend.

The name's...

I've always been a massive James Bond fan, specifically the films. They were just great fun. The Daniel Craig era has been hugely disappointing. Casino Royale was excellent and, in my opinion, the films have dropped in quality with each passing release.

The last one, No Time to Die, was a travesty, but it did have Ana de Armas. She was easily the film's highlight.

Too late.

FP's wife texted me last night. It's the first we've communicated since the funeral. I feel guilty. I've been meaning to reach out, but the past two months have been super busy for me and I've been dealing with my own stuff.

I've replied. I've apologised and offered to meet for coffee/drinks/whatever.

Funk

Swapping messages with Random Internet Woman is becoming too fiddly on Reddit. She's been desperate to chat with me... to have an actual phone call with me. But I've been reluctant to make that change.

I can't put my finger on one specific reason. I've tended to keep my online life and real life separate, for the most part. There's also this nagging doubt at the back of my mind about how... keen? Is that the right word? About how keen RIW is to maintain contact on a daily basis, despite us only messaging for a few weeks and barely knowing anything about each other.

We've moved to email. My suggestion. But one that she seemed very bemused or frustrated by. I like the conversation with RIW, don't get me wrong, but I've always had reservations. Maybe it's her drive to move the conversation forward, to suggest we have phone calls, to suggest we swap real-life names (I know hers) and a few suggestions that I travel to England... not specifically to see her, though she has suggested (quite seriously I think) that she'd act as a tour guide if I were in her neighborhood.

This evening, I'm in a real funk and it's messing with my head a little. The funk, I think, is just a lot of real-life stuff catching up with me. But... I dunno. It feels different this time, and my mood is all over the place.

Time off.

The joy of mismanaging my holiday time throughout the year is that I always have a glut of time to take at the end of the year. So, from now until the end of the year, I am on a four-day week. And I still have some days to take, so some of those weeks will be a three-day week.

Last year, a semi-impromptu night out with The Crowd last December resulted in meeting Chloe.

I don't know what I'm going to do with the time off, but I will enjoy not being at work.

The weekend.

G's home this weekend. I don't know when I'm due to see him, but I will see him at least once. M might tag along, too. We've not seen each other in a few months. It'll be interesting to catch up with him. I'm looking forward to the weekend.

I also need to chase up KfW2 because I've offered to have her at mine for drinks.

Hello again.

CC sent a message last week. She needed a favour. It was the first I'd heard from her in months. I realise that I could have reached out at any time, but CC can be annoying or she can be great company, and you never know until you meet. When she came to collect her favour, we talked about having dinner this week. She seemed keen but was unable to commit due to prior commitments whose details she couldn't remember.

Well, she's just texted asking if I am free tonight.

I am, so we're having dinner tonight for the first time since mid-July and I am looking forward to it.

Well I never.

I have to say that it's been quite the eye-opener about how much better I feel after "only" walking a mile a day. For the record, that's about 20 minutes of very light exercise. I'm sleeping better and my back, which has been problematic for the past month or so, is giving me less grief.

I know that articles often say you don't need to be doing much, but it's different seeing it in action.

Quick Digest

Two things to note for today: Facebook reminded me that it was the anniversary of one of the nights out when CH got handsy. I definitely remember at least one incident that evening where she slid her hand down my back and rested it on my ass.

Secondly, I did my walk today and the leg pain came back. It wasn't entirely unexpected. I was pushing myself quite hard as it started to rain quite heavily as I left the house and I wanted to get the walk over and done with. I probably could have just gone back inside and waited it out, but it had taken me quite a while to motivate myself to leave the house and I might not have left again.

Go me!

Phew that was tough. Not the walk. That was actually not that bad. I did the same route, though in reverse after a suggestion from USHW that maybe my pains were brought on by trying the uphill portion of the route too early in the walk and my muscles not being sufficiently warmed up.

Well, I got through the walk without too much pain. There were a few pangs towards the end, but nothing specific to one area and I'm assuming that this is a result of being a lazy bastard over the past three and a bit years and not being flexible enough.

So, some positivity. The tough part was motivating myself to leave the house, albeit only for 20 minutes to do the lap.

Remember me?

Sports Girl appeared on my Facebook feed today. That's not unusual in itself, but this time she posted a picture of her in a posh dress from an event around a hobby of hers from a few years ago.

It might even be the same event that she was adamant that I attend, and when I showed my face, she was too drunk to even realise I was there.

She really was an attractive, sexy woman. Shame she was batshit insane.

Speaking of Facebook, I defriended QC3 a few weeks ago. There are only so many ellipses that I can take in her posts.

Phew!

I wasn't planning on giving a daily update on the challenge with RIW, but the leg pain on the first day was a huge cause for concern.

Luckily, today, I could do the distance without too many worries. It was, admittedly, a different route with different footwear, but I did the distance in roughly the same timeframe.

I'll be back to my regular route tomorrow, so it'll be interesting to see if it's route-related (hills) or something else or a one-off.

WTF?

Hang on... for the past few weeks I've been doing the odd walk. From my parents' house to mine. It's just short of about a mile and a half. And I've been doing it with no issues. I've done 6-mile walks with Nerdy Girl with no issues apart from blisters.

However, today, on the first day of my November challenge with Random Internet Woman I developed sharp pains in my right leg. It might be shin splints. I had something similar many years ago and the physiotherapist I was seeing at the time for something else suggested it was shin splints.

Sigh.

Challenge Accepted!

Tomorrow is meant to be the start of my "challenge" with Random Internet Woman. At least a mile a day, every day, for the entire month. That's a total of 30 miles. I think she's planning on running it, though I am only planning on walking it as I've been sedentary for so long, that I don't want to rush back into anything.

So my overall goal is to complete the challenge - walk a mile per day.

But that is extremely achievable, so I do want to add some bonuses to that:

• I want to do a lot more than the 30 miles, but I don't want to put a figure on it. I'll start off doing the mile per day, then if I feel up to it, I'll up the distance.
• If I do fall off the wagon or life gets in the way, I still want to do the distance, so if I have to do extra on some days to make up for what I miss, then I'll do that.

And if I get through that, I'll be happy, especially if the bonus kicks in. I hope that the small effort of the exercise, plus getting out of the house will motivate me to stay with it and possibly break out the yoga equipment to add to my exercise.

Timely

G's just sent a message. He's coming over in a few weeks, though neglected to tell me which actual dates. I think it's 10th November, but that's to be confirmed. I've not seen him since FP's funeral, so it's going to be interesting.

...

A few months ago, after a short stay in the hospital, FP passed away. He'd been ill for around a year if I understand things correctly. It was a serious illness that was going to have a significant impact on his life expectancy, even without any complications. He had shared the news with me at the start of the year, but he'd played down the risks. I don't want to explain in any more detail than that. It was rare. Rare enough that he could potentially be identified if I said any more.

Anyway, he was admitted to the hospital for something unrelated. While they were able to treat and fix the issues, complications arose, and he never recovered. He was effectively in a medically induced coma for nearly a month but showed no signs of actual recovery.

His passing isn't the first that I've had to deal with during the lifetime of this blog, but it's up there with the most impactful. He was one of my closest friends (with KfW2 being the other), one of the very few people that I could trust, and who would be a sounding board for me. Before he was ill, we'd be in contact several times a week and see each other in person at least once a month.

Years ago, when I introduced FP to KfW2, she was astounded that we could almost predict what the other was going to say to the very word. He was more than a friend; FP was family.

KfW2 has been a star, you'll probably be unsurprised to hear. She has a big heart, and it's one of the reasons I consider her to be one of my closest and best friends and love her dearly. She keeps asking me if I'm OK. I am... mainly... but it's not been smooth sailing.

The funeral was tough. However, KfW2, AM, QC1, G, M and BR were all, in attendance, so it was comforting having those people around me. It was also comforting seeing how many lives he's touched, how many people attended the funeral and the number of stories told over drinks afterwards.

Both AM and QC1, separately, promised that they'd be in touch about meeting for dinner or drinks. I'd love it if they did follow up on that. I can't say that I'm optimistic though.

Even now, I find myself reaching for my phone to give him a call or send him a text message about football or just something silly. Nearly every day brings a Facebook memory where FP is an actual participant in shenanigans or has left a comment.

Old school friends have been in touch, which in turn makes me miss him more because some of the people who've been in touch would have been worth reporting to FP simply because of who they are or the news they've shared.

I also feel a little guilty. I should have been in touch with his widow, but with the work stuff that's gone on over the same period, I've not really had the energy to contemplate it. We also don't really have a relationship. FP's wife always kept herself away, despite being invited out to the pub or for coffee and other social events, but I think that's a story for another time.

Good and bad

So, the bad news: FBS has cried off tonight's gathering. She's got the cold/flu/Covid and is not shifting from the sofa. We've postponed until she's feeling better.

The good news: I got about three hours of sleep last night, having one of my semi-frequent insomnia nights. There was nothing on my mind per se. No one thing was bothering me, but I just couldn't turn my brain off.

So, I was delighted when FBS's message came through this morning and I was not slow in offering to postpone, which the other guys have agreed to.

Sigh.

The conversation with the random person from Reddit is still going on. I'm still trying to figure out where this will go. Am I likely to share information, like my name? I don't know. I know her name. She has offered her phone number, which I've not taken. She made a comment about me visiting, but that was just a passing comment... until she made it weird. Or did she? I don't know. Sigh. Now I have a dilemma. I was enjoying having an anonymous pen-pal. We've only been "talking" for just over two weeks, albeit a couple of messages per day. I have some pondering to do, I think.

Bite me.

At last, the dental work is complete.

"Don't chew on it until tomorrow," she advised.

Bugger. I've been eating soft foods for the past few weeks, and I really wanted to have something to get my teeth into (no pun intended).

Itchy feet.

KfW2 is in London this weekend with her eldest, as a birthday treat. While it's "only" London (rather than, say, somewhere hot and sunny) it's given me the travel itch again. the list hasn't changed since my last post on it, though a few recent Facebook posts from BR is making me contemplate the northwest of America and Canada: Seattle and Vancouver.

FFS

Over the past few months, I've had a lot of dental work done. While my teeth do appear to be more brittle these days, this was not new work, it was replacing old work that was over ten years old. And it's fucking expensive.

I was meant to get the last piece of work done last week, only for the surgery to phone me on the morning of the appointment to postpone the work until next week.

"Can I get it done any sooner?" I asked. I'd already had a replacement Crown pop off a few times, and I've been eating food on one side of my mouth for the past three weeks.

"We'll see, but she's fully booked up. I'll let you know if there's a cancellation."

And today, the crown has popped off again, and I wasn't even chewing on that side of my mouth.

Roll on getting this fitted properly.

The memories strike back.

I had a day off today, and with Storm Babet currently ravaging the UK I was on the sofa with the heating turned on and watched Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. It was inspired by my FA2 reminiscing a few days ago and provoked a few further memories of FA2 taking me to the cinema to see it.

Hello again.

Out of the blue, Ideas Girl messaged me on Facebook last night. It's been a while since she was in contact, and I was a little hesitant when I saw her name pop up. Thankfully, her crush seems to be long gone. Or, at least, she's not getting drunk and lairy with me any more.

This time, it was about work. Work's been interesting over the past few months. I've been very busy, but there are also other things happening that have caused quite a stir.

Thinking back.

I was bored, in a three-hour meeting when I decided, as I do sometimes, to peruse the local property website, daydreaming and window shopping.

Imagine my surprise when FA2's old house popped up. I'm pretty sure that I've posted about it before, and not that long ago. It was the house that FA2 lived in when we started dating. While the house had understandably changed in the twenty or so years since FA2 lived there, I still spent a while reminiscing about the early stages of our relationship and the numerous times we were physical in the many rooms in her house.

Something to ponder.

The random stranger on Reddit has proposed a challenge of sorts... to walk at least a mile per day in November. Apparently, she used to do something in October every year but has been a bit under the weather this month and hasn't gotten into the challenge this year.

So, I'm thinking that this might not be a bad idea. Gets me out of the house, fresh air and exercise. A mile's not a big thing. A 20-minute walk. Quicker if I push myself.

Walkabout.

I didn't sleep very well last night. I think it was the post-walk pain starting to kick in. I can't remember the last time I did a walk with Nerdy Girl, but according to my fitness tracker, I recorded 6.15 miles. I forgot to start it when I passed by CB Pub, my usual starting point, so that's probably an extra 0.5 miles.

By the time I got home, my Achilles tendon was sore, I had blisters on both feet and I was knackered. But still 6.5 miles. That was, according to MapMyFitness, 1000 calories. That seems excessive for a 2 hour, 3 mph walk, but even if it's close, I'll take that. I should do that more often.

Still suitably impressed.

Isn't it always the way? No sooner had I posted the last post, than I found a picture.

Suitably impressed.

I watched the most recent Mission Impossible film last night. I enjoy them as decent action flicks, but the newest one is memorable for two things: Hayley Atwell and her suits. I've mentioned before that I think HA is a stunning-looking woman, and I've also mentioned that I love women in well-fitted trouser suits. So seeing both in one go is a massive plus. Sadly, I can't find any clips or photos or I'd happily share them here.

Get out.

I'm meeting Nerdy Girl tomorrow for a walk. The weather's meant to be dry, and it's been ages since we've done a walk. Plus I kinda need the company, though not for any specific reason. It'd just be nice to see someone in person.

In other news, I've been swapping emails with USHW over the past few days, and it's been really nice to hear from her. Hopefully, we can keep up the momentum.

Planning ahead.

I sent KfW2 a quick message. Did she want to come to mine for drinks once she gets the next two weekends behind her (she's busy for both, and I'm seeing D, FBS etc. on the Halloween weekend)?

She did and was very enthusiastic about it. I can't remember the last time I hosted KfW2 at mine, on her own. It might easily have been a few weeks after I moved in, which is many, many years ago.

I might even get to use a Christmas present that my sister bought me a while back - gin glasses.

"For when KfW2 comes to your house," she explained.

She knew that KfW2 and I love gin.

Out of the blue

For the past few days, I've been having a slow and anonymous conversation with someone who claims to be a woman. It was all due to a comment that I'd made answering the question of the state of my mental health.

I don't think my answer was that bad - I've come out of a tough couple of months but had also been wrestling with something long-term that I've never really properly been able to put my finger on, but on the whole, I was doing OK. So nothing hugely alarming, from my own perspective.

And I got a message from someone asking how I was. And from there, we've had a brief conversation. I think it's fizzled out, but it was fun and interesting while it lasted.

Happy talk.

E and I have been swapping Facebook messages over the past week. We've been a little more open with each other than we usually are, when using Facebook. 

We've both had a tough September, so I think we needed to be a little more open, avoid our typical small talk and get into the meat of it. The conversation's still ongoing, and it's slow. 

I'm still a little bemused that we can be close, and be totally comfortable around each other and yet, we still need to ramp up after periods of no contact. Especially when we're doing it across time zones and not in real-time. I still miss her and I can't wait to see her next year.

Ticking off

So, per my last post, I made a start on taking some time off. I've the next three Fridays booked off, plus a couple of extra days on top. I still have ten whole days to take in two months, but at least I've some breathing space now.

I also, though this feels weird to say, cut the grass in my back garden. It's a week into October. I thought I'd done my last mow in the middle of September. I'm not sure how healthy the lawn is. There might be a moss issue, and there's definitely a weeds issue. The weeds issue stems from not having a back fence and the weeds encroaching from the wild bank that separates my garden from my back neighbours. It's been on my to-do list for ages, but like everything else, I just can't get someone out to quote me for the work and it's beyond me.

I need to source a couple of glaziers to service some windows. If I can send off a few messages tonight, that'll be quite a productive Monday.

Taking my time.

I need to start thinking about taking some time off. I already have a week booked off for Christmas. But, with only two and a bit months left in the year, I still have thirteen days of annual leave to take, plus about two or three days of accrued TOIL (time off in lieu). So three working weeks, in total, of time off to take.

I think I'll start by taking the TOIL over the next few weeks. I'll take the next two Fridays and enjoy long weekends, even if I rarely leave the house.

The actual annual leave is another matter. I have enough time that I could easily work a 4-day week from now until 2024. But I don't know if I want to do that. I can't really justify taking a week off for nothing, though. At least, not in the winter. In the summer, I can easily spend time in the garden, when the weather's nice, just listening to music, reading a book and chilling. That does a great job of recharging the batteries.

But in the winter? 

Long gone are the days when KfW2 and I would hit the Christmas market for a day of drinking. I'd still be up for that, but KfW2 has a family and no annual leave left. But that would only be two days anyway - the day itself and a recovery day.

It's a nice problem to have. Frustrating, but nice.

School days.

I can only remember bits and pieces from the dream last night, but I was on what felt like a school trip to the south of France or somewhere in Italy. There was lots of hanging around, waiting for things like transport etc.

Inexplicably, I was accompanied by my sister and, of all people, Brie Larson. I ended up in a fight with a guy I went to school with, who had dated CAB long before I met her.

I kicked his ass, for reasons that I can't remember, and then I woke up.

Hello again x 3

Obviously, given her blog name, one of my first thoughts was that SSCW reminded me of Sarah Silverman. And that's still sorta true, to be honest.

But I've also seen a lot of her in Joanna Garcia Swisher, too. That's an actress I'm not massively aware of outside a one-episode cameo in "How I Met Your Mother" where I really liked her.

So, in tribute to SSCW reaching out to me a few days ago, here are some pictures. First, SS, and then JGS.

Hello again... again.

E messaged me on Facebook last night. Her court thing with her ex (and the father of her kids) is done, to her satisfaction. That opens her up for a trip home next summer, and her plan currently is to be home for an entire month.

I'm already looking forward to it. I miss E.

Hello again.

Out of the blue, I got an IM from SSCW today. We ended up chatting on and off for a few hours. It wasn't a deep conversation - pretty much all small talk - but it was nice to hear from her again.

Time

I need some time off. I'm only back at work after a tremendous week off at the start of September, chilling in some really nice weather, reading some books and absolutely not thinking about work.

Yet it's been non-stop since I returned. There have been long days, missed and late lunches, snarky comments from those supposedly in charge and lots of pressure.

Luckily, I have LOTS of time to take before Christmas, and I plan on taking every single minute available to me.

Who nose?

So I came across a thing on Reddit earlier... nose kink. In a previous job, I can genuinely say that I've seen enough (print) porn and erotica that I can safely say that nothing surprises me any more.

A list of images and gifs of attractive women such as Ruuude favourites Morena Baccarin and Abigail Spencer.

Interesting.

Walktober.

One of the things Nerdy Girl suggested on Friday was trying to get out for more walks this month. We've not done a walk in ages, plus she's signed up for one of those step challenges. Now, bearing in mind that our regular route is roughly 6 miles. For me, that's easily 12,000 steps. Nerdy Girl is shorter than me, so you'd imagine that'd be more steps for her.

I know I keep saying this, but I do need to a) get out of the house more and b) get off my arse and burn some calories, so if the weather's agreeable, this could be a good start. As long as I don't get blisters, which has been a feature of our last few walks.

Good night.

So, it didn't turn out to be the night I was expecting. We did a much shorter walk than we usually do. It was only a couple of miles, instead of the six plus that we usually do on our usual route. We stopped off at a local chicken joint for a tremendous burger, then onto a pub. I got back to the house around 10 PM, after meeting Nerdy Girl at 6:30 PM.

I had expected maybe staying out a little later, and being a little more drunk, but I enjoyed the evening nonetheless.

Grin and bear it.

I can't remember if I've posted about this already on the blog, but part of the reported outgoings that I've mentioned over the past six weeks has been extensive dental work. Luckily it isn't new work, but replacing old work - a few fillings and a crown that are over ten years old.

Into the final phase of the treatment and I got fitted with a temporary crown on Wednesday. And hasn't it just popped off while I was eating noodles for lunch? FFS. I've managed to put it back on, but do I leave it for the next two weeks until the permanent one is fitted or do I need to go and see my dentist again?

Urgh.

I'm feeling quite frustrated due to a raunchy dream last night that featured CAB, strangely. So, as a result of that, have a few pictures of the delightful Anna Kendrick.

F. F. S.

I was literally seconds away from logging off for the week when my boss IMed me.

"Bad news."

"Oh?" I didn't know exactly what he was going to say, but I knew that it would be about our high-profile project that's kept me late nearly every night this week.

"Yeah. They want you to support the project this weekend."

I sighed. Our company's on-call payment is not great.

"Yeah, OK. As long as it's during the day and I'm not getting called at midnight for something that's not massively time-critical."

"I think that's fair," said the boss.

And that was it. Apart from tonight, when I have tentative plans with Nerdy Girl, I've nothing planned for the weekend. But I'd rather not have to worry about this crap.

Friends will be friends.

I can't remember if I ever explained that AM and QC1 were extremely close friends. I met QC1 through AM and, after a too-long period where I was crushing on QC1, we became friends.

At tone point, which I think I have posted about before, AM shared that she felt jealous of how close AM and I were, even though AM herself was not available.

I'd always thought AM and I were closer. She was the one I reached out to when I broke up with FA2. She was the one I first shared my loneliness with. She was the first one I confided in.

But for all her supposed jealousy around the time I was spending with QC1, she never made any attempts to fix those issues.

A few weeks ago, Facebook told me that it was my Facebook anniversary with QC1. Weirdly, the only photos presented by Facebook to highlight our friendship were of one specific evening. If I recall correctly, QC1 was showing off plenty of cleavage.

Today, it's a similar story with AM. Except, all the photos presented by Facebook have both AM and QC1 in them.

Dark and stormy.

I was meant to be meeting Nerdy Girl tonight. However, a combination of a late finish (not my first this week) and Storm Agnes have meant that I've had to postpone.

It's not that I don't want to go out... I do. but the weather means that taxis are hard to come by, and it's either a taxi or three different buses to get to the place where Nerdy Girl and I tend to meet if we're not going our walk.

So, I've asked for a rain check and suggested that we meet on Friday instead. Maybe we can do an extended evening and add a bite of dinner and a few drinks to our games of pool.

Grrr...

It's just after 7PM and I've literally just logged off the laptop for work. We have an urgent project that needs to go out in October and we have a few things that we need to iron out. That means lots of group chats, working sessions and all that kind of rubbish.

The deadline is Friday, but by that time, I could easily have a couple of day's worth of time built up. If the project goes ahead (which will be decided on Friday), then I'm taking a few days off.

It's only been like 2 weeks since I had a glorious week off work. It doesn't feel like it.

Money, money, money.

It's been an expensive few months, though I've not done a lot of rash spending. I have noticed that my bank account, at the end of each month, is lower than it was previously.

I'm not skint by any stretch of the imagination, but I started saving a lot more money when the pandemic hit and we had to work from home. Even with increased grocery costs (due to WFH) and going a bit mad on Amazon, I was saving money.

Now... that's not the case. The cost of living crisis is really eating into it. My grocery bill is shocking. Almost twice as expensive now than this time last year. The cost of heating and electricity, too. Plus, there have been a few one-off costs that have completely kicked my bank account in the genitals like dental bills etc.

My recent day out with KfW2 wasn't cheap either, though I don't regret spending the money as it did wonders for my mental health and it was something I really needed.

Still, it may be time to take stock of outgoings for a month or so and see if I can cut back on anything. I reckon I can, you know.

Just KfW2 stuff

At the weekend, I was tentatively meant to babysit for KfW2. I made the offer a few weeks back during our afternoon out and followed up on it a few days later. Suffice to say, come Friday morning (the absolute latest I'd have considered her asking).

So, given that opening statement it'll come as no surprise that she sent a message at lunchtime on Saturday apologising for not being in contact (Mr KfW2 had decided that going out wasn't worth the bother due to child-related things). And then asking if I could babysit because there was a last-minute thing with some other peeps that came up. It was only for a few hours. From 3PM to 6PM.

I've posted before that I'm an introvert. I don't do last-minute things particularly well, especially when people are involved, and I'd already gotten into the mindset of lounging around on Saturday afternoon. So I turned her down. And I'll be honest, it was tough turning her down. I love spending time with her kids, they're great fun and think I'm awesome. I'm also, according to KfW2 herself, a born helper. I get that from my dad. And I had residual guilt for leaving her and her husband out in the cold at the end of August after a gig they were at.

So, another phone call today. Apparently, she was out until 1AM on Saturday having managed to secure last-minute babysitting. And I admit I was a little jealous. Our own evening was curtailed at 8PM with a similar start time and being only our second adult time out this year. It passed quickly. I already have plans to try and see her again soon. It might not be the pub (which is fucking expensive these days) but maybe just to come to mine to talk rubbish, drink gin and be friends.

Hair we go again.

Someone on Reddit asked why all men want to wash their partner's hair. While I can't say that it's something I aim to do or that it's some kind of turn-on, I have enjoyed it when I've done it.

FA2 was extremely appreciative of it when I did it. However, that was mostly while we were both in the shower.

I do recall an incident with FBS. We'd been painting her living room and generally mucking about. We'd finished, packed up and FBS declared that she needed to wash up.

She insisted that I also needed to wash. I had some paint on my face, she explained.

In her bathroom, she peeled off her t-shirt, standing in front of me in just her bra and jeans. I'm not going to lie, my eyes were drawn to her chest. But having a woman stand before me, semi-naked wasn't as out of the ordinary as you might expect. Nor was my brazen staring at her chest. We'd already slept together at this stage, so I'd seen her naked. We knew there was mutual physical attraction.

Regardless, FBS gave her face a quick wash and then asked me to wash her hair. So I did. But of all the times I've washed a woman's hair, this one always stands out. It felt... still feels... more intimate though I couldn't begin to explain how or why that is. Was it how FBS pressed herself into me as I lathered her hair? Was it simply the fact that sex was a possibility (though ultimately nothing happened)? I don't know, but it is a pleasant memory.

What if (cont'd).

I think this post and memory was responsible for my dream last night which was very adult and featured CH. It followed the memory I described in that post to its fullest conclusion. Instead of CH going quiet after suggesting we meet (which is what happened in real life), she offered to come visit me. My flatmates weren't home. When she arrived, instead of going to the living room to chat, she demanded I take her to bed where we spend the rest of the evening having as much sex as we possibly can. She calls a cab and leaves in the early hours of the morning.

As a side note, while some of CH's behaviour towards me in the past was ambiguous (with respect to the touching and the kissing etc.), I don't believe she would ever have crossed the line. If she was feeling something non-platonic towards me (and I'm as sure of that as I can be without CH actually admitting anything), then just like me, it was 'just' lust. And she was never risking anything for that.

It goes without saying, mind you, that I am extremely frustrated this morning.

Hello again.

According to Facebook, QC3 is returning home after spending a few years abroad. I can't remember why she went, just that she left behind a daughter and she had some personal issues going on. I don't even know why we're still Facebook friends. We've not communicated in years. Probably over a decade. And she's flaky as hell. I get real Sports Girl vibes from her, and that's not a compliment.

Denied.

I was at a family event yesterday, hosted by one of my cousins. We're close, actually, though not as close as she would be with my sister. Regardless, it was a celebration of sorts.

That's by the by. The reason for this post was a stunning blonde woman who turned up in this figure-hugging long dress. Now, I've repeatedly posted on this blog about how private I am, so the likelihood of making a move while my sister and cousin (and their kids) watched on was pretty much nil.

I did, though, manage to engineer an opening to have a chat with her. As I sat down, she crossed her legs and a slit on her long dress afforded me to also see that she was wearing knee-high boots. Oooft.

Sadly, it wasn't too long before any ideas I might have had or making a move were shot down. She was in a committed long-term relationship with a guy who was unable to attend. We chatted for around ten minutes before someone else came over to chat. I made my excuses and went back to my table.

I don't think my sister or cousin were any the wiser that I thought the blonde woman was cute, but I think the blonde herself knew I was sounding her out. I got several knowing looks and smiles until we left a few hours later.

Zzzz.

Another night's poor sleep. I woke numerous times during the night, but once, I remembered a dream. Stunning actress Alexandra Daddario had moved next door and we'd struck up a friendship. I'd been honest and admitted that I knew who she was, and once that was out in the open, then our friendship blossomed.

She'd invite me over for dinner and drinks etc. There was nothing romantic involved. I was just a friend, a sounding board, someone to confide in. The last thing that I recall was that she was talking through these offers she'd had for roles in upcoming films.

And that was kind of it. I think I woke up before the dream went anywhere. I rolled over and eventually fell asleep again.

I am really tired today though.

Posting for posting sake.

Nothing to say right now, but here are some pictures of a few women I think are attractive: Kate Mara, Hannah Simone and Anna Kendrick.

Who, what?

It was a dream of two halves last night, both of which are interesting enough to record here. In the first, KfW2 called me. She wanted to chat urgently. We met. She was obviously distressed and the reason for that became obvious once she started talking. (In the dream, she was single with none of her IRL family). But, she admitted, she was pregnant. The father? She mentioned a name. I didn't know who that was. KfW2 was confused. 

"But I met him at your house. Was he not your friend?"

"I don't know who that is."

The pregnancy was an issue. She'd only known this person for a short period of time. They'd not been on that many dates. I think she was trying to say that they'd only had sex once. The new guy showed up. I didn't recognise him. They disappeared to chat.

Then the dream pivoted.

GM and S turned up. We teleported from my hometown to Auckland, New Zealand because GM wanted to travel. Except, we time-travelled too. So we were in Auckland, but 20 years ago. I've been there before, so I offered to show the guys around. They wanted to go to the beach but I needed some swimwear, so off we went to try and find somewhere I could buy some.

We explored for ages, I showed them some of the places I really liked when I was there and then I woke up before the dream ended (or I can't remember the end of the dream).

So, yeah, interesting.

Ouch (Part 3)

Despite some Deep Heat and a massage gun and painkillers, my neck continues to have restricted movement and is sore. It is MUCH better than at the start of the week, but the recovery appears to have stalled.

Hello again.

I called KfW2 last night. It's only been a few days since we last saw each other, but I wanted to follow up on an offer I made around babysitting plus tell her how much I enjoyed Saturday afternoon.

And that last bit is true. I totally got the same vibe that I used to get when we had our adult nights/days out, pre-Covid. It was a totally different vibe to the evening we had back in March and completely different again to the evening we had around this time last year that caused all kinds of frustration and anger on my part due to KfW2 being, well, KfW2. And I miss that vibe between us.

And she appeared to be totally on the same page and started talking about doing it all again soon. And I am totally up for that.

Ouch (cont'd)

I'm still struggling a little with this shoulder and neck pain from the past few days. I was at least able to get a few hours of sleep last night. It wasn't as much as I might have gotten with only 2 hours of sleep the previous night.

I've ordered a massage gun from Amazon, although it's not due until Wednesday. I'm hoping that if my shoulder is still bad tomorrow, it will come a day early. I've had Amazon deliveries arrive a full day earlier before, so fingers crossed.

What if?

It's ten years to the day of the evening that CH was in town, during the week. She was out with friends for some sort of celebration. It might have been a birthday, but to be honest, it could have been anything.

But early in the evening, before 8 PM, she started sending me text messages, and suggesting we meet... alone. She wanted a break from whomever she was out with. But there was a vibe to these messages that I'd not seen before. There was something else at play.

After conferring with USHW, who agreed with my assessment, I agreed to meet and asked where we'd meet whereupon CH went quiet. 

I assumed that she had gotten cold feet from whatever it was she was planning. And I had assumed that she had planned on crossing a line.

When she messaged the next day, she said she was drunk and had gone home. We never spoke about the weird vibe that was going on that evening, though all the previous behaviours - the odd kiss, surreptitious touching etc. continued.

Hurrah!

I thought it was going to be another frustrating day with KfW2. It was only late on Friday evening when she finally confirmed she could make it out for lunch and drinks. Then, with half an hour until our booking, she called and told me she was stuck in traffic. No details apart from she had yet to drop her kids off at her parents' for child-minding.

However, seemingly, from then on in, things started going her way. She arrived a few minutes after the booking time, but we were able to find her a parking space and sat at our table only ten minutes late. She was leaving the car there, so she was drinking.

And from that point, it all went swimmingly. She enjoyed the restaurant and food (she can be picky about her food), and we did a mini pub crawl around some bars in the city centre that had beer gardens, and her husband came to pick her up around 8:30 PM. Beer, cocktails, gins and tequila... we did it all.

We chatted, I shared some stuff... some medical and I even managed to get across about my introversion, which she was eager to hear and learn more about. I promised to send a link or two to give some more information as I couldn't even remember half of what I wanted to share.

It was exactly how our nights out used to be when we did them on a more frequent basis, and apart from the initial frustration when she said she was running late and gave me no further information so I could manage my expectations, I loved every second.

One final talking point was when we were parting ways. She hugged me.

"Love you," she said.

"Love you too," I replied.

"Oooh, you actually said it. That's the first time!"

I mean, it's not. I've told her quite a few times how much she means to me, some in reply to her saying it first, and others where I've said it first. It reminded me of FA2's complaint that I never said those words to her. But it's true. As anyone who's spent any kind of time reading this blog will know, KfW2 is extremely important to me.

I think there's a desire that we see each other more often. It might not be trips to the pub... my home town is extremely expensive when it comes to drinking in bars... but she did hint about missing coming to mine for drinks. And I really hope that pans out.

Ouch

I've had terrible shoulder and neck pain since Friday morning. I assume that I slept funny on Thursday night, but I've been in near-constant pain since I woke up on Friday morning. It didn't cause me to miss my long-awaited day out with KfW2, but my movement was limited and large quantities of alcohol didn't seem to dull the pain.

But last night, I got maybe two hours of sleep. I woke at around 2 AM, tried to lie still to ease the now-excruciating pain, failed miserably and ended up getting out of bed at 4:30 AM because I was in less pain sitting upright than lying down.

I've done this before, but it has usually resulted in a few days of mild discomfort, but this is real pain. And painkillers just aren't doing anything. I don't even think they're taking the edge off the pain.

My eyes are hanging out of my head, though I've spent the morning watching Supergirl on TV with an inflatable travel pillow to keep my neck upright. Not even a pretty woman in a short skirt and boots has made me forget the pain.