The loneliness has been a big thing over the past few weeks. I don't know if anything specifically has triggered it or if it's a culmination of a lot of things. I suspect the latter.
I've not seen my sister in weeks. That's because I haven't made the effort to go see her. I've been in this house for nine years (roughly) and not once has my sister made a random visit, even with the current family stuff going on. She has been here, but only for pre-planned social events or if I've asked for a favour. But it still feels off that she seemingly makes no effort. Any time I've mentioned my mental health not being great, I'm always told that the door is open, but is it too much to expect my family to care about me? this is something that has bothered me for a while now. I remember chatting to USHW about it back in early 2018.
The KfW2 thing is an issue, too. I've brought up the topic of actually meeting rather than getting 10-minute conversations here and there, but when it comes to actually arranging anything, it just turns into hard work. If I brought it up, KfW2 would point to her family or blame her ADD for not being able to arrange anything. But I miss her and I am a little angry with her that it's this much work, especially with FP's absence.
And FP is never far from my mind. There are still times I pick up the phone to message him about something stupid or football and catch myself on, mid-reach.
And E is coming home, soon. I don't know if we'll get one of our all-day things going, but it would be great if we did. At the very least there'll be a few evenings out, and I can't wait.
G is due home too. He has his own family stuff going on which means he would like to be here. I had thought he would have been over already (he has specifically said he's coming home), but a visit is imminent. Next weekend with the music thing going on would be ideal, but it could be any weekend this month or next.
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