Sigh.

A few beers, some gaming and a couple of films is not a bad way to spend the evening, but I do wish I'd gone out tonight.

I've not done enough socialising with friends this holiday period.

You what?

A conversation with Sports Girl a year or so ago was eye opening. She claimed, if I recall correctly, to have had breast reduction surgery, because she was carrying more than she wanted. Then she claimed she wanted a boob job as she was smaller than she'd like.

I don't know why that popped popped into my head, right now, on this day at this time, but there you have it.

Self-fulfilling?

OK, so it might not be beer-fuelled regret, but I have thought about CB tonight. I haven't thought about her in, well, I dunno how long. But I have tonight... From seeing her on the online dating site and wanting to meet her, to then seeing her a little while later, in the flesh, in my local bar one New Year's Eve and then, finally, exactly a year later, on NYE, in the same bar.

She was pretty.

Looking forward.

It's not been a great year for reasons I've explained here (work-related, lack of meeting people/online dating) and reasons I've not yet chosen to share. The memories I have are more negative than positive.

More than usual, I'm looking forward to getting into the new year seeing where it takes me.

Record breaking

I'm unsure of this year's post count, though I do know it's quite high, but I do know that this month is my all-time top month for posts - averaging over one per day (albeit by a tiny amount).

I don't think I'm going to post enough in the next few hours to break the all-time Baby Needs record, but that's not really the point.

I sent a message to GM to see if he had changed/made up his mind about tonight. I re-iterated that my spare bed was his should we head to my local bar. He's staying in, though, so tonight is a night sat in front of the telly or the PC, watching films or gaming.

I'm a little disappointed, but not nearly as much as I would have been a few years ago, partly because there's no desperation to head out to see if CB is there (is it six years ago tonight) and partly because I'd resigned myself to sitting in a few days ago.

Still, I have a few beers chilling in the fridge. How many beers will it take before I start feeling upset that I'm not out (or thinking about CB)? I'm gonna say six.

Pah.

When I suggested NYE and S said he'd already made plans, he quickly suggested an alternative, heading out last night or tonight.

As I already had plans for last night, I suggested we head out tonight. S seemed good with this.

He sent a text message last night asking if GM or I would like to hit the town. I replied that I had plans and GM said he fancied a night in front of the TV.

So, unsurprisingly, when I sent a message earlier asking if he wanted to meet for drinks, the answer was "no". He'd gone for a Hair of the Dog at lunchtime and was on his way home, to bed.

Thanks, S, for remaining unreliable.

Friends

As part of my conversation with my old school friend (let's call him MS), we talked about our relationships or lack thereof.

Along with G, MS is one of my oldest friends.

MS split with his long-term girlfriend around a year ago and moved departments at the same time. During this time, he met and fell in love with a co-worker. A married co-worker. So he moved back to his old department. She was stunning, he assured me.

He dug out a photo he had on his phone. She was the absolute spitting image of Katherine Ryan... without the amazing cleavage.

In turn, I told MS about Ideas Girl and showed him some pictures and we both bemoaned the fact that we can't find anyone we like who likes us back.

I don't see MS as often as I would like. I think he feels the same. I should do something about that.

Fun

I turned up at my favourite (local) bar at the time I said I'd be there, with a mutual friend to some of the people. No-one else was there, so we found a quiet spot, bought myself and my friend a drink and settled in.

I spotted an attractive blonde girl across the bar. She looked vaguely familiar. Where did I recognise her from? Had I seen her in the bar before? She was striking, athletic and... aloof? I don't know. But she had my attention... at least until I saw the wedding ring on her finger.

Bollocks.

A short while later, everyone else arrived. I got hugs from QC1, BW's wife and a couple of other female friends. AM was nowhere to be seen.

It was another ten minutes before AM arrived and immediately the hunt for seats started. I had no interest in seats. I was happy standing and we had a decent spot. Mingling is easier without seats as well. If I knew AM, she'd want to sit in the corner of the bar, away from everyone else.

AM and her hubby came nowhere near me. They, as expected, hovered around some seats in the corner, waiting for them to be free. After fifteen minutes or so, the seats became vacant, but there weren't enough seats for everyone. Me, my friend, BW and his wife stood and chatted.

Eventually, AM sent QC1 over to bring us over. She didn't do it herself.

We did join the crowd and sat down.  But, with the seating arrangements, we only really managed to talk to QC1 (still very attractive) for the majority of the night. I wasn't that bothered. AM and the rest were a sideshow for me that night - my friend, who I'd known from school, was my main focus that evening.

A pretty girl stood next to us in wet look leggings and she had a great ass and great legs and she knew it, given how many times she caressed her ass in full view of the bar. My friend made several comments about how I'd gotten the better view.

Ultimately, I had a good night, and I even talked to AM and her hubby before we left the bar. AM made me promise that we'd talk soon, but I've long decided that AM has to make the effort. After all, I end up dancing to her tune anyway.

Only time will tell if she does make the effort.

Go, go, gadget arm!

Surprisingly, my Xmas present to myself, ordered on Boxing Day, has arrived a few days earlier than anticipated.

It's significantly more expensive (twice as much, in fact) than the most expensive watch I've bought myself, but I'm hoping that the ability to track various aspects of my fitness could mean motivation to stay active by keeping on top of actual figures.

I've already synced it to my fitness apps, so here's to getting more active in the New Year.

Now all I have to do is eat as much of the junk food in the house as possible before I get started. Mini Rolls and Jaffa Cakes? Nom nom nom.

FFS

"I won't be joining you for dinner tonight, but I'll see you afterwards in the pub" was the message I sent to the Whatsapp group earlier.

A Whatsapp group that contained AM, FP, QC1, BW and others.

I'd never intended to go to the meal, if I am being honest. They're having Indian and I don't like Indian that much. In fact, I was toying with not going at all, but comments from FP and the fact I'm bringing along a surprise guest swayed me.

Anyway, almost immediately, AM's husband replied:

"Didn't you pick the date?"

I was immediately angry. AM and her husband have been one of the most unreliable couples I have ever met and I have put up with that for over 20 years. And I didn't pick the date - I suggested when I might be available over the festive period and everyone had their say. All the decisions were made by the group - majority vote "wins". I even contemplated not turning up after that. The fucking cheek of some people.

Plans (Part 2)

S is going to a house party on NYE. I seem to recall that he did this last year. GM eventually replied to say that he's contemplating staying in.

As usual, nothing concrete, but it looks unlikely that GM won't come out. I've decided that that's what I'm going to plan for.

I did suggest that we could hit my local and there was a spare bed, so that's a backup plan, just in case.

Oh, hello!

E's little sister (ES) was posting all over Facebook last night about how she's going to try online dating app Bumble. It's like Tinder, except it's up to the woman to make contact should there be a match.

I've often commented on how much "easier" it is for women to meet people than men on online dating apps/websites.

Sure enough, twelve hours after setting up her account, and she's chatting to multiple men. That means they've swiped, matched and started talking.

That's more conversations on Bumble than I've had in years of membership.

Obviously it helps that ES is very easy on the eye (she's an ex-model/dancer/promotions girl), but from what I've gathered a lot of these conversations are with guys who "aren't looking for anything serious". And I'm a little dubious about how hilarious she's finding the whole thing (she's effectively blogging on Facebook).

And I dunno how long people are going to stick around. E's little sister, while not V or Sports Girl levels of bonkers, has unusual outlooks on life.

If she's looking to get laid, she'll have no issues. If she's looking for something more, then that might be an issue. At one stage, I had thought about trying to set her and GM up (and I would have back then, a few years ago), but I don't know if I would do that any more.

Nudge nudge, wink wink.

As part of the conversation with KfW2 earlier, she let it slip that CC is going to Barcelona next month.

"For a dirty weekend!"

So it seems that this thing with the paramour is, if not picking up momentum, at least continuing to move forward.

I'm jealous. About the dirty weekend thing, not CC.

Plans

"What you doing on NYE?" asked KfW2

I sighed.

"Still trying to figure that out. Might try and get GM and S out to my favourite local pub instead of hitting the town."

"Oh, I love that pub."

She does. We've talked about it before.

"Well, then, what I'll do for when I take you out for your birthday is take you there.

"That would be FAB!" she exclaimed. "Our annual night out!"

"Actually, it's not. We haven't had a night out in nearly two years" I explained.

"Really? We didn't do last year?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

"So, let's definitely do it this time!"

"Yes"

And let's see what happens over the next two weeks. The night out should arranged for, and done by, the end of the month.

And the dance begins.

You might have thought by now that GM and S would realise the importance I place on being with friends for New Years Eve. I've stated outright how much I value company that evening and am always trying to get something sorted as soon as I can.

I sent out the first message late yesterday evening. Are we doing it this year? I have a couple of places in mind - one my favourite local bar (where I first saw CB) and another in the middle of town where we've had a few decent NYE's in recent years.

I know both have read the message, but not one reply. S has a tendency to do this, but GM isn't.

Regardless, it's extremely frustrating.

I can cope with not going out on NYE or even spending it alone as long as I have time to prepare. I hate the running around and chasing I have to do though.

To you, to me.

"What do you want for Xmas?" asked my sister.

"Fuck knows. Don't really have any ideas" I replied.

That wasn't strictly true. I have loads of things I want to buy... just none of them that are within reasonable limits for Christmas presents. For example:

• Jessica Alba (or a woman of equal attractiveness)
• A new kitchen
• A first-class ticket to New Zealand
• Large screen 4K TV
• Gaming console
• New Gaming PC

I did have a few other ideas that were closer to something reasonable but still nothing my sister could buy me outright. I did have an idea though.

"Tell you what... if I can't come up with something, buy me Amazon vouchers"

"But I want to buy you something you can unwrap!" she complained.

"I understand but I have something in mind that I can put the vouchers towards. It's not like I'll end up buying rubbish."

She voiced some concerns.

"Tell you what," I reasoned "I'll send you the link of what I'm looking at, and if you find something to buy me that I can unwrap on the day, brilliant, but if not, this is what I'm planning on treating myself."

And I sent her the link.

Come Xmas morning, we swapped gifts. I got an Amazon voucher.

I wasn't entirely sure that I was going to buy the ting I'd shown my sister. I can spend small money stupidly - 10 Starbucks coffees a week for a month, for example. But I can't spend big money. Anything over £50 becomes an issue that requires serious pondering.

The item I was looking at was nearly £200. Even with £80 of Amazon vouchers, I was still reticent about spending the money.

The Amazon Boxing Day sale kicked in... and blow me if my item wasn't 25% off.

Happy Christmas to me! (Thanks Sis!)

Only 365 days to go...

It's over for another year, thankfully. I enjoy the day itself, but I detest with a passion the lead up to it... all two months of it.

Now we get into the time I enjoy most - between Xmas Day and the turn of the year. Potentially I have a night out with a school friend and FP, a night out with GM, KfW2 etc. (though as I am not arranging this, it's unlikely to transpire), a night out with QC1, AM, BW etc. that I'm not really feeling enthusiasm for and, of course, potentially New Year's Eve.

I have another family day tomorrow, but it has a completely different vibe to it than Xmas Day. It feels a lot less formal/laid back, even though Xmas Day at my sis's is really not formal at all.

Ouch.

The reason for being at KfW2's last night was to help her build toys from Santa. It took about five hours to build six or seven big toys - doll's house, couple of bikes, scooters etc.

I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. KfW2 called it quits an hour before I left - she looked fatigued, almost ill.

When I awoke this morning I felt like crap. Aches all over, stiffness in the muscles etc. Thankfully, it's not illness but rather just me being horrendously unfit. The kneeling, bending over, contorting myself in and around the bikes to put on wheels etc. have all used muscles that have not been used in a long while.

Roll on the New Year for some motivation.

A question.

If KfW2 is happy to let me know that CC got laid... who would she tell if I confided to her that I've broken my dry spell?

Not that I mind, even with my privacy, it's just popped into my head rather then being an actual concern.

The money.

"I'm still hungover" grumbled KfW2 as she collected me.

"Hungover?" I was puzzled, then the penny dropped. "Ah, your Mums' Night Out"

"Yeah. A bottle of wine and I still feel like crap, two days later" she complained.

She brightened up.

"I was out with someone who knows FP though!"

FP and his wife know lots of people through their work.

"What's their name?" I asked.

KfW2 told me. It didn't ring a bell.

Later, while sipping a gin at KfW2's my phone beeped. A text message from FP.

"Eva Green is the money!" is what it said. Bugger. That meant there was a James Bond film on the telly, and I was missing it to do KfW2 a favour.

"Bond is on the telly?" I queried.

"ITV" he answered.

"FFS. I'm at KfW2's."

"KfW2's not bad at all, but she's not Eva Green"

I laughed out loud at that one.

"What you laughing at?" said KfW2.

"Just FP being FP."

"Ask him if he knows those people I met a few nights ago..." and the conversation moved off.

It reminded me of another conversation from Thursday night while FP was out with a couple of my current colleagues at the pub. One of them was bemoaning the lack of attractive females in our work place. I know that KfW2 is considered universally attractive amongst my male friends, but it's not a conversation I've had with male colleagues.

"What about The Princess* or the Dept Head?" I asked.

"Well, The Princess, yeah. Not the Dept Head though" said the younger of the two work colleagues.

"Do you count KfW2 in that list?" asked FP.

Younger Colleague stumbled a bit. I don't know if he wanted to answer given my close friendship with KfW2, but he admitted that she did indeed make the list.

The Princess was mentioned in one of my recent posts about the girl that GM broke up with for being too high maintenance.

I think Younger Colleague is wrong - there are plenty of attractive females in our work. And FP was right... Eva Green is the money...

Elementary.

The mystery of CC's paramour is solved! The gentleman in question is indeed the object of CC's attention, who was home for a bit for Xmas (though has now returned to where he's currently living). In fact, he left the day after they slept together*. She's had her eye on him, on and off, for quite a while now, though he has been unavailable until recently.

Poor fella. I bet CC's hard work as a girlfriend. She's hard work as a friend! Would sex make that any less of an issue? I know GM split up with a stunning woman for exactly those reasons.

*This is still an assumption based on KfW2's comments.

Co-incidence.

While I wasn't asleep when my phone rang this morning, I was still tucked up in bed albeit within seconds of getting up. It was a night of broken sleep, hence a slightly later than normal waking time. It was KfW2 on the phone.

No sooner had the pleasantries been done than she took great delight in telling me that CC "was a dirty stop out on Thursday".

That was interesting for three reasons...

Firstly, as far as I was aware, CC was/is interested in a bloke who's separated, though I don't think he's local and she's only ever interested in one person at a time. Unlike other people that CC has been interested in (e.g. GM), this one actually seemed as if it would come to something (CC has a habit of being interested in people but doing nothing about it... reminds me of someone).

Secondly, apart from one drunken date with S, I'd never heard of CC pulling someone, so if this was a randommer, then fair play to her. At least one of us has gotten a Happy Christmas.

Lastly, for reasons I'm struggling to remember, FP was quizzing me heavily about CC on Thursday night, after GM left, especially around her dating habits. But as CC has never talked to me about any of that, I couldn't share any information. FP also, for the first time that I can remember, asked about my dating and specifically the last time I had sex. I told a fib. Rather than say exactly how long ago it was (far too long IMO), I halved that time and told him that.

I might be seeing KfW2 later, so I might quiz her a little further on the CC incident, just for nosiness sake.

Fun.

While the night out didn't pan out the way I had hoped, it was still fun and productive. Right from the second that GM sat down with myself and FP, it started.

He immediately asked about my dating activity, and I told him about a speed dating event I was contemplating on 14th February. He immediately offered to tag along. Whether the offer still stands when he realises that it's a Wednesday night, which is typically a night he's not usually free, is another matter. But it's something to aim towards.

We talked through his breakup with SG, and FP offered some advice. I told him that SG had not been in contact with me, which he was surprised at. I also explained that she had gone from messaging me many times a day to absolutely nothing as soon as they had started dating.

GM wasn't out for very long - an hour or so - but it was good seeing him again. It's been a while. 

All-in-all, an enjoyable night out, despite the lack of numbers.

Question...

Why do you get tipsier, quicker when you drink during the day than at night?

Oh. Again.

So, KfW2 never said anything in our Whatsapp chat about not being able to make it. I'd also had a recent convo with GM where he confided that he was skint, but would still come out to see everyone even if he only stuck around for an hour or so. And S was being totally S - not saying an awful lot and only piping up when something was being said (i.e. a suggestion) that didn't suit him or he disagreed with.

So when I said that KfW2 wasn't able to attend, the night out, in its original form, just dissolved.

"I can do a night between Xmas and New Year" said S.

"I told Ruude that I could do that too" said KfW2.

And within seconds, my hoped-for night out with just KfW2 also vanished.

There's still a chance I could head out with FP tomorrow, though somewhere closer to home than n the middle of town. I haven't seen him in a biot, so that'd be good... not as good as getting the crowd out for an Xmas Night Out though.

Oh.

In a not unsurprising turn of events, KfW2 won't be able to make it for our annual day out. I knew something was up as she's been quiet on the subject since the weekend, where before she was excited about coming out.

Her husband has to work and that means, as a knock-on effect, KfW2 can't make it.

I'm disappointed and a little angry, after all, KfW2 was a huge influence on the dates chosen, to the point where they are inconvenient for GM and S.

The upshot is that there's a possibility that KfW2's rain-check could mean a night out for just the two of us after Xmas. I'd love that to happen, but I am feeling pessimistic.

Oh!

I just noticed from posts on Facebook that R2 is back in the country. While I've not directly spoken to her in at least 20 years, we have swapped messages and proper letters. I'm pondering sending her a message to see if she wants to meet for a drink or a coffee while she's home, if she has the time.

Ooops!

I don't often drink to excess in the house, but with today taken as annual leave and my non-attendance at last night's work Xmas party, I cracked open a beer... then another... and another... and... well, you get the picture.

And then I hit the gin.

Before I knew it, it was half past two in the morning and I was extremely drunk.

I didn't get out of bed until late this morning and while I'm not hungover, I'm really muggy and tired.

Fun.

KfW2 reminded me today that it was the anniversary of our very first Christmas day out. The first year it was just me, KfW2, her then fiance and, briefly, CC.

We started just after lunch time and, by the end of the night, I was extremely tipsy. KfW2 had bought me three shots in a row and a Jaegerbomb "because you're not as drunk as I am and it's not fair".

I woke the next morning feeling remarkably good to a long, rambling voicemail from KfW2 that was really quite sweet (telling me how much she values my friendship) and funny (complaining that I didn't answer the phone). I think it took KfW2 about three days to recover.

This year, I think I'll be lucky if KfW2 is out any more than a couple of hours. And I'm still waiting for us to have our own adult day out. We're not that far off two years.

Repetition.

When KfW2's husband returned last night, we were sitting in the kitchen sipping mugs of tea.

I can't remember what the conversation was at the time, but it kinda went like:

"Ruuude has a stalker"

"Well, not a stalker... just a young lady with dubious taste in men," I quipped.

"She wants to marry you," laughed KfW2.

"Well, I try to stay away from people I work with." I said

"She's bonkers" said KfW2

"Well, we know about your lucky escape with Sports Girl" said KfW2's husband.

This is something that I've had to correct KfW2 on before, at least twice. SG was never in the picture as a girlfriend, so there was no lucky escape. At the time, KfW2 even suggested herself that I could use SG to "blow off some cobwebs". She's also said the same thing about Ideas Girl. There was a time where I had made small efforts to see if SG was open to something purely physical, but that seemed to be timing as her and GM were apparently getting close behind the scenes... plus she seemed to be dead against the idea of casual sex.

Ah well.

Keep on runnin'

I left the house with just enough time to get to the bus stop to get to KfW2's on time. Except, as I was within 100 metres of the bus stop, I realised that I'd left home wearing my reading glasses, not my general glasses.

I had I reckoned, about two minutes before the bus was due. It would take me, I reckoned, about two minutes to get back to mine, grab my everyday glasses and get back top the bus stop if I ran.

So I did. As I ran back to mine, I noticed that my Achilles tendon that would give me trouble from timer to time was remarkably pain-free. I grabbed my glasses, pulled the front door closed and ran back to the bus stop. I was only about 50 metres down the road when I felt a sharp pain in my left leg, just below the calf and just above the tendon. It hurt. It hurt enough that i had to stop running.

I limped the rest of the way, expecting to see the bus drive past as I neared the end of the street. I got lucky though.

For the rest of the evening, my leg hurt.

When I woke this morning, my entire body felt like it had taken a beating. Is this the start of an illness or am I really so unfit that a jog of probably not more than 400 metres makes me achey everywhere?

Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me.

Another dream last night, this time featuring FA2. It was around this time of year and I was doing a lot of Xmas shopping. For some reason, I was also spending a lot of time at FA2's house.

Now, back in the day, most nights I stayed over at FA2's, I would try to initiate sex. The pattern seemed to be that if it was mid-week, FA2 would refuse, but at the weekend, FA2 would go with it. In fact, we would have a lot of sex at the weekend, and FA2 would initiate it as much as I would.

Anyway, in the dream, I'd been staying at hers for a few nights, but the toll of getting ready for Xmas, the shopping etc. meant that we went to bed and promptly fell asleep.

In the morning, when I awoke, FA2 was already awake. I snuggled up to her, ready to initiate foreplay, but she stopped me.

"We have to talk"

I looked at her.

She went on to talk about how there was more to our relationship than sex and then promptly ended to relationship there and then, with me, naked, wrapped around her, sporting a massive erection. It was at that point that I woke up.

FA2 did actually have a similar conversation with me once. We'd been dating a while at that point, just short of a year. For some reason, we'd arranged a night out with lots of people. The problem was that I'd gone into town to get tickets for a gig for me, D, FBS and a couple of others, and kinda stayed in town.

By the time everyone else turned up to the bar at 9 PM, I'd been in the pub for nine hours and was more than slightly tipsy.

For some inexplicable reason, FA2 decided this was a good time to have a serious conversation with me about our relationship. She'd wanted me to stay over at hers. I had said that I had planned to go back to mine, which prompted FA2 to assume that I wasn't staying at hers because her brother was there and, taking that thought process further, that I had assumed we'd not have sex because of her guest. And that might have been a small part of the reason, but in reality, it was mainly because I wanted a lie-in the next day. FA2 would be up early with her brother.

In the middle of the conversation, I grabbed my coat and left to go home. There was no reason for me to do that. FA2 didn't say anything that angered me or that I disagreed with. In my head, it had registered that I was too drunk and needed to go home. I had lost all track of time and was convinced it was still early-ish, maybe around half past ten. I couldn't stick being in the pub for another two to three hours in my state. My head told me I needed to go home. So I did. The magic boots, the Irish goodbye... it has different names, but they tend to mean the same to me.

I went to the taxi depot to order a taxi, but I had used the last of my money to buy the tickets and would be skint until either my student loan came in or everyone paid me back for the tickets. So... I had to walk home.

In those days, the walk from the bar to my house was around three miles. This was around Easter time, but it must have been an early Easter as I remember it started snowing on the way home.

The next morning, FA2 rang. So much for my lie in. We chatted. Her brother had gone for an earlier train than planned, so she was available to do stuff. I needed to buy some birthday cards, so she collected me and off we went. In the car, she re-iterated the statement about the relationship being more than sex. I apologised for walking off, explaining that I was happy to have the conversation, but that once my head told me it was home time, nothing would stop me. 

I explained the lack of money and the long walk home. I also said that I didn't think our relationship was based on sex. And to lighten the mood a little, I told her than upon waking that morning, I'd found a twenty pound note in the middle of all the gig tickets. I could have gotten a taxi home after all. She told me that it wasn't as early as I had thought when I left, in fact it was near 1 AM and they left the bar shortly after I did.

And the subject was never mentioned again. In fact,  FA2 and I never really talked about sex and the closest we spoke about our relationship were a few offhand comments from FA2 about the frequency that I told her I loved her. In a relationship spanning nearly three years, sex was only ever specifically mentioned about half a dozen times, and mostly by me trying to figure out what she liked.

I don't know what the dream was about, bit prompted the memory of the conversation I mentioned above.

Last minute plans.

I wasn't planning on heading out last night - I really didn't want to spend any more time with my boss or my two colleagues than required. But I had a frank chat with my boss yesterday morning. I don't think that's going to get my promotion or pay rise nor do I think he understands exactly what I am accusing him of (favouritism), but he can't say he wasn't told.

So, I got back into the house near midnight, very drunk and had been texting KfW2 who had also been out with her new team-mates.

I woke this morning to a semi-remembered dream. I was at KfW2's house - we were talking about nothing in general. It was late so she went upstairs to get into her bedclothes. However, the person who came down the stairs wasn't KfW2, but QC2... in a baby-doll nightdress.

And we resumed our chat in the kitchen, where she made something to eat. As a result of reaching into overhead cupboards, bending over to get pans out of the dishwasher etc. I got a full show of her athletic body.

And then I woke up.

Frustrated because of the dream (though I can't ever remember thinking about QC2 sexually before) and because I'm always horny after a night on the booze.

Bah and humbug (Season's Greetings!)

I've never really liked Christmas. It always just seemed to be far too much money, stress and hassle for an indulgent day.

I don't mind indulgent days, by the way. Treating yourself to some nice food or drink is one of life's pleasures, but to add to the stress by making it a big deal just never resonated with me.

It changed a little when I got to my late teens and was drinking. Heading out around that period to catch up with friends was pleasurable, though I still hated all the other bits. It changed a little again when a lot of my friends went off to uni. They'd come home at Christmas and one or two nights out were the only chance to catch up with them.

The only time I've been in a relationship over the Xmas period was when I was with FA2. However, at the behest of her domineering mother, she left the country over Xmas.

When my sister had kids, it changed again. Christmas kinda became fun. That's starting to wear off now though.

It's the lead up to Christmas. The present buying, worrying about what to get people, worrying that they won't like what they get. Thankfully, finances have rarely been an issue, but it's the other aspects that get to me.

The week between Christmas and the start of the new year are my favourite - the stress is dealt with and, family obligations over, I can focus on seeing friends. That's less common now with everyone being grown up with family of their own, so we don't have massive nights out with a dozen of us. Instead, we congregate in smaller numbers, but the nights are no less pleasurable for it.

Just say something, damnit.

A "tradition" started by me and KfW2 is an annual day out to the local Xmas market. They're usually good fun and we get a good crowd out (though we usually arrange them for ourselves and anyone extra showing up is a bonus).

Some memories from past Xmas days out are FP meeting SG for the first time, KfW2 and her hubby falling out and KfW2 leaving me a really sweet, albeit very drunken, voicemail on her way home.

This year, arranging it has been a pain in the ass. I've put out plenty of suggestions, but no-one replies, until it's decided.

Ruuude: "When's everyone available?"

No one says anything.

Ruuude: "Right. 15th December then?"

S: "Can't do that date."
FP: "Can't do that date."

Ruuude: *Lists dates I am unavailable*

No one says anything.

Ruuude: "What about doing an evening instead? We can meet after work?"

KfW2: "That suits me. I can do Wednesdays or Thursdays"

Ruuude: "OK, let's do a Thursday. I can take a Friday off for a long weekend."

No one says anything.

Sigh. GM and S are the prime candidates for this.

Treasures.

I was going through my box of stuff earlier, looking for a few things and I came across something that V had written for me prior to us parting company on my last day in the States. We were both hungover, sleep deprived and coming down off some chemical stimulation. All it really says is "It was fabulous meeting you. You're awesome." and her contact details. It's not written on fancy paper or owt and I have her details stored off on my phone. I've no idea why I've kept the paper version. Maybe I am a little more sentimental than I would admit.