CH has been interacting with me over the weekend but, tellingly, not communicating. 'Likes' on Facebook, playing moves in Words With Friends but not replying to my text message of Friday afternoon. I caved this morning and sent a text, suggesting she was quiet and had she enjoyed the Christmas party?
She replied within a few hours. Nothing was mentioned about Friday's text or my current query. She did answer the question though - she did have a good time on Thursday, but didn't expand any further.
USHW accused me of ducking the confrontation, and that's partly true. Part of me wants to give her the chance to redeem herself without hand-holding from me, though I realise that each time I do, there's a good chance that she simply gives me more reasons to cut my losses.
After her admission of a few months ago about how much she values my opinions and judgement, it is really strange that she backs off any time I look as if I might start a serious conversation.
And that's what it's coming down to... even more than her unreliability and cancellations, I think. I binned off GB because of a two year period where she was giving nothing back to our "relationship" (I'd struggle to call it friendship, but it was more than acquaintances). CH is getting perilously close to this point.
When I was telling KfW2 about the CH thing on Friday, she laughed and suggested that she might be worried in case I was about to profess undying love to her. I laughed along... but maybe that is partly the issue - she's definitely interested in me in a non-platonic way and is trying to keep the friendship at arm's length?
Of course, USHW suggested that maybe the reason this has strung along for so long is because of my own non-platonic feelings. She's right, of course. Without the lust/attraction (and even CH's own physical attention towards me), it's entirely possible our relationship would never have even gotten off the ground to begin with or at least have faded out a long time ago, after all, I've been more than vocal about how important reliability is to me.
Maybe the reasons why CH is doing what she does aren't important? I've given up on it over Christmas... I doubt I'll hear from her until we're all back in work in two weeks and I'll deal with it then. I know she is talking about leaving our company for new challenges, and I was kinda expecting the friendship to end then anyway, but maybe it's worth challenging her on this? There is a core of a good friendship there... she has shown glimpses, but it's always been on her terms. She has shown an interest in my life before, especially my dating status, but it's always been her to start that conversation.
It's not the start to 2015 that I would have wanted, but it's a chat I need to have if I want the friendship to continue.
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