Hot on the heels of my sex dream featuring CC a few days back, I had another one last night. This time it featured KfW2. Maybe calling it a sex dream is a bit much, but it did involve KfW2 and I being in a relationship. Sex wasn't the focus of the dream, though there were scenes where we were in bed and sex was implied, it was KfW2 trying to get me to open up, to communicate and to vocalise my feelings for her.
However, no matter how many times I told her that I loved her, she couldn't hear it or refused to acknowledge that I'd said the words.
While CC's appearance was bemusing, KfW2's appearance is causing a little more confusion. I know that they're not literal, but that still doesn't stop me from being concerned about KfW2's appearance in last night's dream.
KfW2 has made a couple of comments about the fact I've not told her that I love her as much as she thinks I should. Maybe it's just me, but while I have said it to her and meant it, telling someone else's wife that I love them regularly, even platonically, doesn't sit right with me.
My friendship with KfW2 is very special to me, it's extremely important to me and I know that it's not something that's common: a single guy being close to a married woman. I know people have raised eyebrows that we've gone to the pub and gotten drunk together or that I've stayed overnight at her house while her husband was away. not even strangers. I know CH was always intrigued by our friendship. My brother-in-law was surprised when I'd said that I'd been at KfW2's one evening for drinks while her husband was out with his friends, and he didn't return home until lunchtime the next day. So, yeah, I love that KfW2 wants me to tell her that I love her even if it doesn't always sit right with me.
But really, the events in the dream better mirror my relationship with FA2. We weren't great communicators, though FA2 might argue that she was (she wasn't). I didn't vocalise my feelings towards her as often as she wanted, though from my perspective, I always thought my actions should have said enough. She needed to hear the words though. And one aspect of the dream rang true: I did say the words. She claims I never did.
It's safe to say that I'm a little confused this morning, and I miss KfW2.
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