Sigh.

Unsurprisingly, I've already been told that I am not allowed to go for the job I applied for. My boss took me aside for five minutes to chat. Business reasons i.e. we're too busy and I'm too important.

He was at least clued in enough to know that there are reasons for my applying in the first place and we touched on them briefly.

I told him that there were numerous reason I had applied for the job, including the extreme lack of recognition for anything I had done over the past few years.

I could have said more. I will say more - we're due to meet again next week - and I will be better prepared to tell him in more detail what's annoying me, including:

• The blatant favouritism shown to Stalky Guy and another colleague over the past few years
• Fed up of taking on jobs, ostensibly to help me score well, only for it to count for nothing
• The stress of trying to compete with SG and others, when it's ultimately pointless
• Spending years trying to engage with managers with no result

But to hear my boss talk, his claims of openness etc. just made me angry... and sad. Another year "wasted" while I watch colleagues get promotions, HUGE pay-rises and all for doing a fraction of what I do.

I mean, Stalky Guy was MASSIVELY unprofessional in a meeting today. Did my boss take him into a room and talk to him about it? No. Stalky Guy gets away with that. When I didn't pass on a message from KfW2 to my boss (a message that KfW2 had communicated to my boss directly via email), he takes me into a room and threatens me with low performance scores. You can't argue that SG isn't seeing some favouritism.

It actually hurts my head that I can't get through to people - I've made it perfectly clear who does what in an objective way - given them enough direction to go off and see for themselves. I don't like having to do it, but I feel I have no choice.