Avoidance.

Back in the day, I used to speak to an awful lot of people using MSN messenger. Most of these people were from my online hobby. Some of the people who participated in the online hobby were, and I am being polite here, mentally ill. These people weren't even friends and as such, I had logging turned on almost permanently, just in case they started a conversation. A few months ago, I found an old archive that had almost three years of recorded conversations. Every now and again, I dip into them to see if there's anything entertaining. Most of it is out-of-date nonsense around the online hobby, but every now and again something tickles me, like this exchange with K.

I've mentioned K before. We've had sex. She jumped me, then proceeded to use that as a basis for trying to start a relationship. I wasn't looking for a relationship with K for any number of reasons, but the two worth mentioning are that I didn't think we were suitable for each other and distance. You'd think that was enough, right?

She barely took 'no' for an answer, made it clear that she wasn't a "sleeping around" kinda girl (didn't really admit this prior to jumping me, though) and subsequently became friends with F, purely because she knew that F and I were friendly. Six months later, at a social gathering, I told her to her face that I wasn't interested in a relationship at her insistence. When I left the room, she confided to F that she didn't believe me. F told her that she should give up or, at best, use me as a fuck buddy. We were still chatting on MSN semi-regularly, though it was mostly about the hobby rather than anything personal.

So, bear in mind that this snippet was the end of  a conversation that had lasted a few hours. Barring one conversation about three weeks earlier, we'd not spoken at any length for nearly eight weeks and that the timing of the conversation was pretty much a year to the day that she's jumped me and we screwed. All typos/misspellings are directly from the chat log.

Oh, and for the record, while I don't remember there being an issue exactly, F had been feeding me information (such as what happened at the social gathering when I left the room) regarding what K had been saying about me. If anything, I was trying to keep my distance, to give K space. She needed it as everything I was saying and doing was being analysed to the nth degree.

K: ...Have you sorted out what you're problem is with me yet?
Ruuude: Eh?
K: For a few weeks you seem to have had a problem relating to me
Ruuude: Ummm... we haven't spoken in aaaages
K: Yes.  But part of it is because I have felt you can't cope with me
Ruuude: I honestly can't see where you would have gotten that idea from
K: Ruuude, for a while you seem to have had a problem with having a decent conversation with me.  It has kind of hurt me that after everything that you haven't been able to cope with speaking to me... but I guess that's how things go.
K: I miss you as a friend.
K: Probably now isn't the best time, but maybe it is.  I'd like that we could get to friendship again, but I think its going to take work - can you cope with that?
Ruuude: yes, but I think you seem to have made an awful lot of assumptions about things
Ruuude: and I don't think that right now is the best time to talk about it
K: I seem to remember that you thought someone else had made a large number of assumptions about you.  Maybe I have, but maybe you need to be clearer
Ruuude: We'll talk about this at some other time
K: Maybe.  But don't make this yet another avoidance strategy.  As far as I'm concerned you do too many of those.

And we never talked about it again, because K never talked about it again.