Ho hum.

I've often complained about the standard of singleton in my catchment area on the various dating sites and tools. It's true. Even the cute and/or interesting ones can ruin their profiles by making declarations that they're not interested in hookups or one night stands. It's the cynicism and negativity that really puts me off. On both PoF and Tinder, it's also not unusual to see the same people crop up time and again. "I'm back again!"

On Tinder it's more difficult to restart your profile, but I seem to see the same faces crop up again and again. Sometimes, it's so often, I don't know if these people are recycling their profiles every few days or if there's a bug in the software.

A few days ago, I matched on Tinder with a really cute girl. I'd seen her before. In fact, I'd pointed her out to USHW well over a year ago as someone that I though wasn't just cute, but was my type. No, not type. That's not right. It's how she looks, I think. She's cute - there are elements of Elizabeth Banks in there... probably some E as well and dare I say a touch of one of CB's sisters? I'd swiped right on her before - at least twice, if memory serves, with no result.

This time it was different. She had also swiped right. I didn't send any messages immediately. In fact, I wasn't on Tinder for the rest of the weekend after that, but when I went to sent an ice breaker earlier this evening, she was missing from my list. She has either closed/recycled her account or she's unmatched us.

It's kinda disappointing. While I know very little about her, she was very cute, and we have one mutual friend in CC and there's a level of attraction there that's been absent since CB. There are issues though. She appears to live at least 40 km away, which could have made life difficult. The real problem was that she has kids. I don't want kids, I never have... and I don't want to have to worry about anyone else's either. That's never an issue for a hookup or something casual, but it is a potential deal breaker when looking for something permanent or long-term.

Saying that, I was prepared to try an initiate a chat anyway, just to see where things could go.

Oh FFS.

Sometimes, things seem to be going too well. Obviously, that's all relative. The issues I've posted about recently are still there, but a few other bits and pieces were papering over the cracks. All-in-all though, I had plenty to look forward to between now and Christmas that could and would keep me busy and was starting to get into a more positive frame of mind.

A phone call at 5PM earlier put paid to that and shattered my mood. There's a problem. It's not insurmountable, but it's come out of left field, is a massive pain in the arse and is probably going to require me to call in a favour from family that I really don't want to.

Everything at the minute is time-critical because of the looming lease renewal on the current house. I need to get everything sorted before or on the day it lapses to save even more hassle, so the last thing I needed right now were further complications.

The next few days will be critical.

By the time Friday comes round, I'll be more than in the mood to go out for drinks with D, FBS and Friction Guy. Saturday won't be fun as a result!

Quick post.

I keep complaining here about the fact that while I go through phases of meeting people (in general, not one night stands or dates), it seems that it's rare that I meet people in whom I am genuinely interested. Or to use my own terminology - "girlfriend material".

In my younger days, I'd know quite quite if the young lady I was attracted to was a hookup or something with more potential. Most of the time, that turned out to be the case.

Over the past week, I've met three attractive women that would fall into the classification of "girlfriend material". We have mutual friends, but they're all unavailable for various reasons.

Shame that!

???

There is a ton of stuff going on at the moment that I will probably post about when they settle down into something more concrete, but I felt the need to put finger to keyboard today for a specific reason - the mood I am in.

As always, it's a combination of factors. Stress (from the aforementioned "ton of stuff"), tiredness, funk (yes, that usual one) and a few others that have all been poured into a massive cauldron and left me feeling confused. About everything.

I was at a funeral today (a friend's parent rather than anyone closer to home) with some friends. CH was there with GB and she never looked in my direction once in the thirty minutes that we were in the same space. That in itself wasn't a huge problem - I know what CH is like and even though I still think she's massively in the wrong, she's not going to change.

Anyway, afterwards, I spoke to FC about it as they're friendly. FC suggested that we sort it out. He reckoned it was a waste that we weren't speaking. I said that I was open to that, but it was my desire to talk to CH that caused this schism in the first place. FC and Sports Girl then suggested we need a kind of mediator. Again, it's not something I am against per se, but CH is the stumbling block here. While I am not suggesting that GM is the mediator, I have been meaning to have a conversation with him about the CH thing for quite a while now.

Officially (because CH hasn't ever told me), I am in the dark about CH. It was only that KfW2 told me or else I'd have been none the wiser. In fact, it was after I'd given up asking for lunch or coffee dates for a chat that CH apparently went into her mood.

Still, the mediator idea has piqued my interest.

So... *deep breath*

It's been a bit quiet around these parts over the past few months. I'll not lie - a lot of that is apathy-based. The apathy itself comes from simply not being in the mood. Quite a bit has been happening, none of it really bad per se, but it's been keeping me busy and, to be honest, it's starting to get a bit stressful.

Arguably, it's been stressful for a while now but it's only now that it's starting to get on top of me that I'm noticing it. The funk is still there too. It seems like, beyond little oases of optimism, that it's been hanging around for far too long now. It's been reinforced within recent months by the fallout with CH (her name popped up on my Facebook feed this morning for what seems like the first time this year) and my current house-hunting. I can't remember if I've mentioned the house hunting before from this angle (I'm drafting this during some down time in work, so can't check), but going out to look at houses, arrange viewings etc. is reminding me how lonely I am. I've been looking at houses with my sister, but her availability cannot be guaranteed, so I reckon about 50% of the places I've seen until now have been on my own. I kinda want a second opinion on houses - this is going to be the biggest purchase of my life so far and I don't want to make it entirely on my own.

I'm kinda under a deadline as well... I've not seen anything thus far to really excite me, but I need any proposed purchase to go smoothly and be complete by the end of September at the latest due to current house things. Speaking of house things, and Heating Guy has returned to his psycho form. Each time he's criticised or gets angry, he brings up things that have been bothering him for a long time, simmering away but previously unmentioned. Over recent weeks, he's locked himself out of the house overnight (I got the blame for not answering my phone that was on silent and in another room). A small shortfall in the TV money that I rebalanced when I gave him the utilities sparked yet another meltdown about rent (the letting agent arbitrarily rebalanced the rent, Heating Guy never raised it as an issue). Only a few days ago, HG put some dinner on the cooker and seemingly let it boil dry. The entire house stank. HG's OCD meant he refused to open any windows to ventilate the place. When TV Guy spoke to him about it he said that HG was reluctant to talk.

As I said, nothing bad or seriously, but small, negative stressful things that have been snowballing to a certain extent. I simply need to come out the other side of this and completing the house move would be a major step, but that's unlikely to be for at least a few months yet. I'm meant to be out with people this weekend, but I've got a bad feeling that a fair few people might cancel/not turn up. That would hurt. I kinda need to have some people round me this weekend for a boost.

Weekend digest.

The weekend was eventful. Between the concert (my main reason for being in London) being cancelled to a last minute scramble to meet up with some friends who I'd not been able to fit in (i.e. A). My time with USHW and G was as good as I'd expected it to be, if maybe a little drunker by the time G and I parted ways on Thursday evening. Lots of chat, serious and light-hearted. I was glad to hit the hay on Thursday evening - it was a long day and I seemed to be non-stop running around from first thing in the morning until after 11 PM.

Friday didn't get off to a good start - the building site beside my hotel seemed to start up around 7 AM. Thanks London! I managed to doze off and on before checking out around 11 AM. It was a nice day, so I opted for overground exploration versus underground speediness. I rocked up to my pre-arranged meeting spot with A about half an hour early, only to shortly thereafter get a Facebook message admitting that she may have to cancel do to a work-related emergency I decided to go exploring again while we swapped further messages until A sent the inevitable definitive cancellation.

I sent another message. I was going to exploring for another few hours. If she managed to find twenty minutes to herself, we could maybe meet for a coffee.

Sadly, by the time mid-afternoon came around, I'd heard no further word from A. My feet were aching from all the exploring (a subsequent search when I got home indicated I'd walked over 13 km) and I was due to meet up with FP and his wife.

We were stuck for something to do after the gig cancellation, but had decided we'd still head out rather than sit in the hotel. But it seems our respective travels were too much for us. We managed a quick bite to eat in Leicester Square followed by a couple of drinks in a nearby pub before calling it quits at midnight and getting the Tube back to the hotel.

Another sleepless night on Friday due to FP having insomnia and insisting on watching the TV. Saturday was relatively uneventful apart from FP and his wife having a falling out, but I arrived back in the house exhausted. My brother-in-law was on the phone almost immediately, demanding I went to his house for beer. I couldn't. I simply couldn't keep my eyes open that long.

Suffice to say, it was an early night.

It might not have been an earth-shatteringly exciting weekend, but I really enjoyed catching up with G and USHW in person. Missing out on meeting A was disappointing, but after feeling really drained over the past few weeks, I actually feel better for the (brief) change of pace and scenery.

"Hi"

Off the back of this post, I got speaking to the Attractive Neighbour earlier this evening. I'd just arrived home from London (more on this at a later date) and the cupboards are bare, so I phoned in a takeaway. As I collected it, Attractive Neighbour arrived and made her way into the building.

I've always said that online dating isn't for me partly because a picture and some writing doesn't impart the chemistry and I have to admit that this was the case with the actress neighbour.

We only spoke for a few minutes (we've only really said "hi" until now), but she's a lot cuter in real life than her (professionally done) online dating photos had suggested to me. But then I've always been a casual jeans and t-shirt man than a poshed-up glam frock kinda guy.

And she seemed really nice, though her profiles usually made her sound a lot more approachable and positive than the vast majority of profiles on PoF or Tinder.

It also confirmed what I've been trying to tell KfW2 (and others) for ages - if there's a natural opening to the conversation, I can talk to anyone. It's the cold openers that I have issues with (see: CB).

Recharge needed.

I've been feeling out of sorts recently. It's not even anything recent, but a continuation of what I describe in this post, except more pronounced. There was a big event over the weekend that loads of friends were going to - BR, BW, AM amongst many others - and I don't think I was in particularly good form.

I did grab some time with AM and we had a chat and I brought her up to speed on recent funk-related issues such as online dating, CB etc. Well, she was given a rough overview of both online dating and CB because, to be quite honest, I was more than a little drunk. I didn't have that much to drink, but it seemed to hit me pretty hard which is unusual in itself.

She accused me of not taking QC1 up on meeting a friend of hers a few years ago. I had to put her right and said that I'd turned down a blind date, but I had suggested bringing any single friends out socially to see if we hit it off. If we do, then great. If not, then OK. Blind dates mean pressure and I don't "do" pressure. Nothing wrong with introducing two people and seeing what happens though.

AM suggested online dating. I'd told her that I'd done it a few times before with the same result i.e. no results and it really affected me. I'd said that KfW2 suggested that I was somehow doing something wrong and AM seemed to agree, though she only knows a small fraction of the actual detail.

I can't remember a lot but we left it that AM was going to arrange a night out with QC1 and partners. We'll see how that goes - both of them are terribly unreliable.

I slept for nearly 12 hours on Saturday night and yet still felt sluggish all day yesterday, but couldn't sleep last night. I've been off-kilter all day today as well - lethargic, feeling, not queasy, but definitely something, tired and run down.

I have a few days off at the end of the week so I am hoping that some time off work and a temporary change of scenery will do me the world of good.

A whole heap of something.

I've only been properly house hunting for just over a week now and it's safe to say that I already hate estate agents. I've only viewed about five houses so far, two at the very top of my price range needed too much work, a couple in some streets I didn't fancy and one that my sister and I looked at around this time last week.

I'm not going to say that I loved it, but I did like it - plenty of character, nice street, low price though a little lacking on daytime living space and outside space (the bedrooms etc. were brilliantly sized though).

I went home and talked it through with my sister. After mulling it over the weekend, I decided that I needed a second viewing. The estate agent called me today to inform me that there was an offer on, just under the asking price. this was at 10 AM. I didn't take the call because I was snowed under at work, but picked up the voicemail at lunchtime.

I hurriedly tried to contact my sister or my brother-in-law to arrange a second viewing (they're my voice of reason and have much more house buying experience than I do). It was 4 PM by the time either of them agreed to a time and date for availability and I phoned the estate agent. It went to voice mail. I left a message - interested in the property, would love a second viewing, could they arrange something later this week, mid-evening?

However, they immediately called me back. The property was gone, they'd literally, just an hour ago, accepted an offer of the asking price on behalf of the owners. They had to do it and I hadn't gotten back to them. The tone of the guy on the phone annoyed me. It wasn't factual, it was accusatory. I hadn't called them back. I hadn't picked up their two calls (one of which was less than 12 hours after the original viewing last week).

I'm disappointed that the house has gone - I'm not going to lie. I wasn't definitely going to buy it either. I'm annoyed that the decision is out of my hands - I want this house buying thing over and done with. I find it stressful and intimidating and... well... this has brought up the same old thing.

I feel lonely. Sure, I've been talking to my sister, KfW2, FP and others about the whole thing, sharing links, asking advice etc. but when it comes to it, I am alone. I arrange appointments for viewings when I want a second opinion there with me. When trying to make decisions, it'd be nice for some encouragement and instant feedback. When something like today happens, I'm left mulling it over on my own. It could be worse, of course. It could have been a property I was really invested in, but regardless, I'm sat here with a cup of tea in a bit of a funk.

Just as I am typing this, KfW2 has called to see how I was feeling after the house was sold. I was honest with regards to the house itself, but she's no idea currently how the house-hunting thing is making me feel in general. I'll need to bring her up to speed.

I'd tried explaining all this to a friend of mine last weekend during a work night out. he did ask if I was excited about the house-hunting and I told him it was the opposite - I felt lonely, stressed etc. but I didn't have the words for it. To be fair, it was after 1AM and we were both very, very unsober. I think I got the gist of my problems across, but I lacked the words to explain it in detail.

And now, my sister has just called. Nothing's mentioned about the house, but she was asking for a favour instead. Sigh.

Upcoming plans.

I haven't really been in the mood to post recently, though to be honest, there's nothing really worth posting about. However, the next six weeks should be busy enough, socially. I had my monthly work thing last weekend and another work thing this weekend coming. I have also tentatively arranged a quiet night with FP, potentially after some outdoor exercising as well.

The weekend after that is a reunion of sorts. All my usual crowd will be there - AM, E3, M, BR, BW and others. There are a couple of women I kinda want to see again - crushes from back in the day who are unlikely to be still single (and one of them won't even show up), but I'm having a hard time convincing myself that this is going to be anything other than a cringe-fest. I'm only really going because it's not often you get all of my friends out at one time.

Later in the month, I'm going to London where I'll be meeting up with FP and G, both separately, for drinks and music gigs.

The end of the month is looking like yet another work thing and rolling into the start of July, I should see nights out with KfW2 and D, FBS, Friction Guy and Opinionated Guy.

Phew.

No title.

KfW2 asked me what was wrong today. Apparently I didn't look great and had been doing a lot of sighing.

I replied honestly. I didn't know.

I am out of sorts - I've been tired, both physically and mentally for a while now and I seem run down but without any one, obvious reason.

If I had to guess, I'd suggest that the whole flat thing - TV Guy, Heating Guy and my plans to move house are all affecting me and it's more stressful than I realise. The CH thing has probably played into that as well as well as the usual funk. Work's been a bit of a chore recently, trying to get recognition for the work that I do. It's a pent up thing - being unable to properly relax, I think.

I need something - a holiday, to meet someone or even just to get this whole house thing sorted - to be able to relax, and that will probably make things better quite quickly.