The personal highlight was meeting F for the first time. We'd swapped messages and emails and had hit it off, so we were both looking forward to meeting in person.
And we had a brilliant weekend. We did hit it off in person, just as much as we had done online, if not more. We probably would have been inseparable all weekend, if it had not been for two small problems: F's bit-on-the-side, and K.
F and her bit-on-the-side had arrived in town a full 24 hours prior to anyone else, so had plenty of time to do whatever it is that people do. When everyone else had arrived on the Friday, we adjourned to a bar where F and I managed to find ourselves sat beside each other, and began to chat. Accidentally, we kinda shut ourselves off from everyone else.
A while later, maybe an hour or so, F's bit on the side disappeared in a bad mood. One of the other girls followed him out to see if he was OK. She returned shortly and spoke to F. He was in a bad way. Crying. Apparently I was "hogging" F and he wasn't happy about it. Apparently he'd been firing dirty looks my way for ages, but I was so engrossed in convo with F that neither of us had noticed. F sighed and got up to leave.
"Where you going?"
"To see the BotS"
"Fuck him. He's just being childish, clingy and immature. There are plenty of people here he can talk to."
"No, I have to go." She sighed. "You are right, though."
F's bit-on-the-side was always a weird sort. He'd set up a website to support the community side of the online hobby, but then never wanted to do anything with it - to evolve it or let it be something more. USHW would sometimes voice her frustrations at his inability to do anything or make decisions. What I didn't know at the time was that the rumour mill had been in full flow and there had been talk that F and I were having an affair, which was laughable as we'd never even met. This had fed the BotS's paranoia and also K's.
F walked off. I looked around the table. K was furious. Oh dear.
A few months prior to this weekend, K and some other hobbyists were in my hometown. I got dragged out to see them, somewhat against my wishes, and I ended up having sex with K at the end of the night. K had driven this - she had jumped me for a snog, she was the one who put sex on the table and at no time prior to this had she shown any sign of any kind of attraction.
A few days later, she started talking about relationships... I was refusing to get involved, for all manner of reasons. She simply wasn't someone I saw as girlfriend material. She was too serious, for starters, with little self-awareness. There was distance to consider, as well. I wasn't even lying to her when I said this. Strangely, she tried arguing these points as if it was something logical that she could turn around. This was a shame. We had actually been friends to this point. If she'd suggested some kind of FwB arrangement or hadn't been so full on with the "we should start a relationship" nonsense, we might have slept together again. Or maybe that's something we should have done prior to her going 100 mph for a relationship.
What I didn't really realise was that she was trying to get in with a couple of females that I was publicly friendly with in the hobby circle - F, R and another girl. R herself is private, so K suddenly appearing in her inbox being friendly scared her off. I knew nothing of the K and F thing for a while until F confessed to me one day. K had admitted to F that we'd had sex, though I'd said nothing and F had been trying to coax a confession out of me to no avail.
So... K was furious that I'd been talking to F (and presumably ignoring her). If I am being honest, I did have half a mind on seeing if I could bed K that weekend. She was still talking (behind my back) about relationships though. She was telling F that I wanted to be with her, but wasn't going to commit. I was telling F that I'd have sex with K again, but she really wasn't my type for a relationship and it would need to be casual.
F eventually talked BotS round and he returned, eyes puffy and red. I spent the entire weekend taking the piss out of him (much to F's delight) and avoiding being left alone with K.
On the last day, F asked if I would go and speak to K (I later found out this was actually K's request and F was just the messenger). She was in her room. I knocked, she answered, and invited me in.
She started the whole relationship talk again. I told her that it was completely out of the question and I didn't know where she was getting the idea from that this was something I was considering or would consider. Obviously, this wasn't said as bluntly as reported above, but I probably should have. Bear in mind that I'd deliberately distanced myself from K at this weekend, barely talking to her, never mind trying anything sexual.
I left, went back to the hotel lobby, collected my bag, gave F a quick update and a hug and left. I winked at BotS too, just for kicks. The journey home was uneventful. A few days later, F was in touch. Apparently, after I'd left, K had come down and chatted to F.
She'd shared that we'd spoken, told F what I'd said and then followed that with "I don't believe him. He does want a relationship with me, he's just scared of commitment."
I believe at that point F told K to "seriously get a grip" and that she was being "delusional" and suggested if I'd been interested, I'd have tried something that weekend. While I wasn't against the idea of sleeping with K again, I wasn't prepared to feed her delusions or lead her on just for sex. Though, it would have ticked a Bucket List item, had we screwed.
K never mentioned a relationship ever again... but that was mainly down to me keeping my distance from her, I think. But she did blame me for our friendship falling apart, about 18 months later.
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