Malaise.

What has happened over the past week or so is that I've entered another 'unhappy' phase. I don't know if this is a direct response to hooking up with RB and subsequent impatient/hanging around waiting for a call or if this is just the normal cycle that I fall in to every now and again. However, I'd say that I am currently unhappy being single, that I am unhappy living at home and that my social life could be better (it's a nice day outside and I wish people were available to go out and do stuff rather than me sitting on my bed typing this up). I think the social and relationship issues might be inter-related actually. I think what it might be is simply a desire to be more social. Today, for example, I could be out at a cafe with friends or a girlfriend, chatting and generally chilling. This is what frustrates me most, I think. I like meeting up with people to chat, but that's been difficult over the past few years as more and more people settle down to start families and stuff.

There are fewer people around on MSN/Facebook too, so it's not as if there's a ready-made solution on the internet. People just move on and that's understandable. I snatch the odd conversation with R or A or USHW from time to time, but they're rarely online for various reasons.

The living situation is an ongoing thing... it's always there at the back of my mind, but when small apartments in reasonable areas of the city are going for at least £175,000, I'm never going to be able to afford that. That's a mortgage of about £1000 per month, which is way beyond my means. As I've said before, I don't want to rent, at least not in this city. Renting is dead money, unless there are extenuating circumstances. The only way I'd rent is if I knew the people I were renting with... a group of friends or (going back to the above point), a girlfriend.

Ho hum. I've texted FP to ask if he fancies a drink tonight. Typical form - he's being non-committal. "Maybe" is his reply. Thanks for making a decision, FP.