Meh.

On top of this year's funk arriving later than usual, I also think it's worse than usual as well. Part of that is the lack of social options during the Xmas holidays, which has distracted me from other aspects, hence the funk arriving late. However, the relationship stuff is worse than ever this year. Part of that was off the back of a few comments that KfW2 made recently - nothing earth shattering or newsworthy - but really a sign that, as a friend, she knows and understands me.

That kicked off the desire to want to have someone close to me, who understands me. I do have KfW2 and USHW - they're friends who listen and understand me, but I want more. Whilst cleaning out my email account last night, I came across an email I sent to USHW at the start of the year, just after seeing CB in the pub, and that hasn't helped matters, reminding me about CB as well as dredge up the anger and frustration at GB's uselessness and being reminded of how positively and optimistically the year began.

For the first time since my nephews and nieces were born, I'm not really looking forward to Christmas and it's been a long while since I've been this deflated.