Feeling down.

Still nothing from either S or GM, though it has only been about 24 hours for GM, but we're only 48 hours away from when we should be settled in the pub. S is less of an issue - I wasn't expecting him to go along with my plans and he's in severe danger of getting left behind as he won't let go of his life. I don't think I phrased that well... he has his life that has a very definite routine and he refuses to break that routine. Cards with his mates on a Friday, out to the same club every week on a Saturday. Any request to do something different is always met with the same result - "I can't... I've got cards/clubbing/whatever with my mates".

It's been the cause of at least one breakup and I know that a few budding romances have ended abruptly because his friends remain his priority. I'm not suggesting he has to dump his friends, but he needs to realise that sometimes, breaking routine at the weekend is a good, positive thing.

It's the GM thing that's getting to me though. As I mentioned earlier, I only really ask for favours when it's important to me, so GB earlier in the year with CB/MFF, DSC at the end of June about a shopping trip and now GM for New Year's Eve are the main ones I can think of, and I've been let down each time. It's not even the fact he won't come out on NYE... it's the fact that an email and a text message have not had replies, specifically when I've said that going out was important to me. That's made me feel extremely lonely and let down at a time where I feel quite lonely anyway.

Certainly GB hasn't done anything that deserves my friendship this year and come 2014, I'll  not be involving her in any plans and DSC has also been jettisoned. I'm a very generous person with my time, but I won't stand for one-sided friendships where I'm doing all the work. It's not even anger here... just crushing disappointment.

The one person that's not let me down, when it comes to the important things, is KfW2. There's still a small chance that she might come out on New Year's Eve, but contact has been infrequent over the holiday period for some reason.

But the lack of contact from S and GM has reminded me about how lonely I'm feeling this year and while I do have a backup plan in that I can go to my sister's, I'd far rather spend the time out in public, with friends.